Skipping/Jumping/Cutting Queues in Public

userofbuses

Hi folks,

I would really appreciate some advice.

Apologies if this is the wrong place to post this. I will happily move my question to somewhere more suitable if needs be.

My questions are:
When should you challenge (verbally) a line cutter/queue jumper?
What are the best phrases to use when doing this?
(I am not good at spur of the moment situations as I have one of those reflective personalities - so I would like to have a few choice words at my disposal)
-should you say - "I am queuing too" or should you ask a question so as to make the person have to justify their action "I'm queuing too, is there some reason why you need to skip the queue?" but in a non-sarcastic tone.

-lastly - if the person goes completely crazy (see story below), what is the best thing to do? Most articles on the internet recommend doing nothing and just walking away but that seems like giving into a bully. I don't want to be rude back to someone as that makes me as bad as them. Are there good phrases that could be used for taking the moral high-ground or at least standing up for one's self?

I was on the 145 bus the other day and the traffic was a nightmare because of the Michelle Obama visit (which is a totally separate issue that I don't want to address). So it was a slow moving bus, people a bit impatient, a huge gang of foreign students had just gotten on the bus resulting in further delays with correct change, etc.

My stop was coming up next so I started to make my way, without skipping anyone, up the aisle towards the door. Two people were in front of me so I stood behind. I was standing just where there is a platform for people to put bags. I was day dreaming for a minute or two when I felt someone push into me from behind. It was a woman.
She said, "I want to get to the front"
I said, "Sorry I am getting off at the next stop too"
She said "F**K you" and pushed past me, skipped the next two people and stood in that area where you aren't supposed to stand beside the driver.
then she said "F**K YOU. When someone asks you to move, YOU MOVE"

I started to smile and laugh at her and made sure to make eye contact with her. She was in her late forties. Not terribly well-dressed but clearly not one of those junkie types who hang around the city.

Then I said "I hope you have a nice day"
This got her more riled up. "F**K YOU AND YOUR STUPID FACE"

I was quite surprised at this stage and lost for words. I didn't want to say something mean and nasty as I would be just as bad as her but I should have said something to stand up to her.

Then she sort of lost interest in me and tried to convince the driver to drop her off before the bus stop. He didn't. Instead she started talking to him to give out about the Obamas and for some reason, Alan Shatter's house. Judging from her vocabulary she was reasonably well educated but clearly a very very angry and troubled person.

Celly Smunt

userofbuses wrote: »

This got her more riled up. "F**K YOU AND YOUR STUPID FACE"

She wins,she called your face stupid.That finishes any argument ever.

lkionm

Self entitled 40 year women.


My favorite.

IM0

"theres a queue, *point behind you* " and make it sound like you are assertive not a walk over

they will get the message or not, its all in the delivery, need to get in touch with your alpha male side

Chucken

Ah, the 145..can be a nightmare (probably )I'm glad I live in the country. We have no buses

kneemos

It's hardly queue jumping to get off the bus,why would you give a shoite?

The Backwards Man

Chucken wrote: »

Ah, the 145..can be a nightmare (probably )I'm glad I live in the country. We have no buses

It can be a balls if the neighbour is moving his cows on the road when you're running late for the bingo though.

userofbuses

pmcmahon wrote: »

She wins,she called your face stupid.That finishes any argument ever.

Yeah I should have just laughed at her at that stage but I genuinely shocked at what she said. I was really concentrating hard not to lose it. As I said, I am not good in verbal confrontations - I would need to have a few disarming phrases worked out.

I was looking around the internet about this and found this clip where journalists paid actors to be really obnoxious in public to see if people would complain.
http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=1972585n

WinnyThePoo

I've had a nun skip me in a queue .. I was left speechless..the bitch

Chucken

The Backwards Man wrote: »

It can be a balls if the neighbour is moving his cows on the road when you're running late for the bingo though.

Oh I forgot about the bingo bus!
Sure the driver would know what time the farmer would be moving the cows...sure why wouldn't he know an important thing like that?

keith16

Some people really are idiots tho, the DART is the worst. People always crowd the area near the doors and it can be impossible to get on sometimes. You just need to ask people to move back, and generally they do.

I squeezed on one morning after such a request. The woman standing nearest the door was clearly but out by the fact that I had boarded.

She goes "there should be another train in a minute"

I replied "excellent, why don't you get off and wait for it?"

To which she had no reply. God I hate people on the DART.

Odysseus

Well if you have a stupid face what else can you expect? Stupid face that is a classic one.

I don't know what you mean by "she was not one of those junkie types"? What was that about?

However, I find a strong excuse me, there is a que; generally works, but if the mouth off just tell them to fcuk off.

stoneill

If someone butts in in front of you, you can say something along the lines of "I don't mind you jumping ahead of me but did you ask all those people behind?"

userofbuses

I lived in the UK for six years and I noticed that queuing is much more respected there and that people were much quicker to call people out for littering, making noise in the cinema, skipping queues, etc and that it wouldn't be just one person complaining

userofbuses

Sorry the reference to the junkies may have been a bit degrading - I was just saying that when it comes to those heroin addicts who hang around on the quays, I give them a bye in terms of basic manners and let them be. They have very unfortunate lives and probably were never taught basic social skills by their parents, if they had any parents when they were growing up, or have forgotten them. No, my new friend on the bus was clearly not one of them

Guy:Incognito

People seem to be fine with others cutting queues when in cars for some reason.even to the point of leaving a gap and letting them in. Yet if the same person walked up to the queue in a post office and skipped theyd be whinging.

userofbuses

It's weird, I have only started driving in Ireland in the last two years having learnt elsewhere but drivers are generally really decent. Much to my surprise, I found other drivers are very seldom aggressive - there is a fair bit of rule-bending and rule-not-knowing but in general everyone is well behaved.

The behavious of Public transport users towards one another is a far far worse than how drivers behave towards each other. Passengers on buses seem to be the worst, maybe because of the confined space, LUAS and Darts are generally ok.

userofbuses

Guy:Incognito wrote: »

People seem to be fine with others cutting queues when in cars for some reason.even to the point of leaving a gap and letting them in. Yet if the same person walked up to the queue in a post office and skipped theyd be whinging.

I agree, it is very weird.

Herb Powell

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AjzKKY3GO0k

Paramite Pie

Sounds like you handled it perfectly. Being nice to assholes only pisses them off even more.:D

If you stoop to their level, they'll only use that as justification for their behaviour. They'll convince themselves that they are the victim of the rude person. They are very arrogant/self-centred like that.

Now if your queueing for a service like an atm, or shop queue I would tell them not to skip me and skip them back. Unless they look like they could stab me or something....

AgileMyth

Guy:Incognito wrote: »

People seem to be fine with others cutting queues when in cars for some reason.even to the point of leaving a gap and letting them in. Yet if the same person walked up to the queue in a post office and skipped theyd be whinging.

You'd be surprised at the amount of people who go out of their way to stop motorcyclists from 'skipping' them. Often endangering the motorcyclists life in the process. Not sure what they they achieve by halting my progression or why I should sit in a queue for the sake of it.

Odysseus

AgileMyth wrote: »

You'd be surprised at the amount of people who go out of their way to stop motorcyclists from 'skipping' them. Often endangering the motorcyclists life in the process. Not sure what they they achieve by halting my progression or why I should sit in a queue for the sake of it.

I often wonder what that is about, I also find that those types generally sh!t themselves if you confront them about it, often coming out with apologies and I didn't even know you where there bollocks.

kneemos

AgileMyth wrote: »

You'd be surprised at the amount of people who go out of their way to stop motorcyclists from 'skipping' them. Often endangering the motorcyclists life in the process. Not sure what they they achieve by halting my progression or why I should sit in a queue for the sake of it.

Car drivers don't think about bikes also bikers are paranoid.

starWave

I don't think it was a queue if you were just getting off the bus. She was just being an asshole.

Skipping queues really pisses me off, and people should be called out more for it. What's even worse is when you have a choice of a few queues, and you end up in the slow one.

On the other hand, if it's a badly formed a queue, like a crowd going through a door or something, or those crowds people form at the gates in airports, then I have no problem pushing in at the side. There's usually an advantageous spot and a disadvantageous spot to pick in such a 'crowd', and people who don't take the most advantageous spot, well thats their own fault.

Hownowcow

kneemos wrote: »

Car drivers don't think about bikes also bikers are paranoid.

I think bikers may need to be a bit paranoid about car drivers in order to stay alive.

Odysseus

kneemos wrote: »

Car drivers don't think about bikes also bikers are paranoid.

I think I can assess my own paranoia;)

However, seriously there is a point in viewing all cars as being out to get you; as you said a lot of drivers don't think about bikes. The amount of times I have got the I didn't see you, I have lights on in daylight and I'm quite visible.


We all make mistakes, it is when someone puts out to block you from filtering on purpose that I have issue with. As I said we all make mistakes, but deliberately trying to stop a person fro making progress, just because you are stuck in traffic is totally different.

kneemos

Odysseus wrote: »

I think I can assess my own paranoia;)

However, seriously there is a point in viewing all cars as being out to get you; as you said a lot of drivers don't think about bikes. The amount of times I have got the I didn't see you, I have lights on in daylight and I'm quite visible.


We all make mistakes, it is when someone puts out to block you from filtering on purpose that I have issue with. As I said we all make mistakes, but deliberately trying to stop a person fro making progress, just because you are stuck in traffic is totally different.

Seriously nobody gives bikes a second thought,even if they do see them.

Pumpkinseeds

I just don't put up with anyone trying to skip a queue anymore. The ones that annoy me most are the ones who come into a gp's busy waiting room and ask if anyone minds if they just run in quickly cause they just want a prescription/cert/(insert lie of choice here). My answer is yes I do mind. I don't care what they're at the doctor for, they can wait there bloody turn like the rest of us.

That being said if somebody who looks to be in a lot of pain or someone with a very stressed out child comes in after me I would offer to let them go ahead. It's usually the elderly who try to skip ahead in shops, to that I just nudge my way back in front and say I don't frigging think so dear, you look old enough to know better.

Odysseus

kneemos wrote: »

Seriously nobody gives bikes a second thought,even if they do see them.

Yep that is what we are all saying

No Pants

userofbuses wrote: »

I felt someone push into me from behind.

This is where you take action next time.

Bluegrass1

userofbuses wrote: »

Hi folks,


This got her more riled up. "F**K YOU AND YOUR STUPID FACE"

.

You should say, "if I had a face like yours i'd teach my arse how to talk".

NuckingFacker

Op, you need to buy a taser. Next time someone skips you in a queue, zap the fecker. That'll learn em.















this may or may not be bad advice/legal/wise/humane.

userofbuses

So I think most people agree that it's good to call people on queues. It's really annoying though if nobody else in the queue helps out.

For 99% of people if it's pointed out that they were skipping a queue, they are shamed or embarrassed and would apologise or give an "oops, sorry" but what to do about that 1% who go absolutely crazy like this woman did?
APart from "have a nice day" , I couldn't think of anything else to say that wouldn't have been stooping to her level.

- just to be clear, people had started to queue to get off the bus while we were stuck in traffic, she just wanted to be the first person off the bus, and push past us to be that person - which is why she asked the driver to leave her off immediately while still in traffic, something the bus drivers were told years ago to stop doing. When she did get off, she absolutely legged it down Dawson St.

Myself and the bus driver shared a knowing laugh together.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Was in a que one night in abrakebabra after a hefty night out in college, got up near the front and these asshole guys pushed their way in in front of me. I said loudly, "the back of the que is actually back there" but they ignored me. A few mins later this bitch pushed in in front of me, behind them just as it was my turn to order. I was like sorry get out of my way, this is the front not the back. I could tell she didn't want to make a scene so she said she was with the boys and they held her place for her while she was in the bathroom, which was bull**** since they skipped the queue as well she turned her back on me and I was raging, so I tapped her on the shoulder and she turned around, and I said "here I thought it was only pretty girls that got to skip queues." OH LORD! Even the guy behind the counter laughed, and the girl just left.

Funk It

userofbuses wrote: »

I lived in the UK for six years and I noticed that queuing is much more respected there and that people were much quicker to call people out for littering, making noise in the cinema, skipping queues, etc and that it wouldn't be just one person complaining

Have to agree with you, it does get called out a lot more elsewhere. As much as I dearly love Ireland, it seems to be built into a lot of folks heads that they are all the exception, then they detail this in a range of ignorant ways such as jumping queues. Not saying that queue jumpers are a breed solely to be found in Ireland, but lets just say it was seemingly more widespread/apparent in my eyes.

In my younger years I did get chucked out of a nightclub due to the fact that I wasn't going let a fella skip me in the queue for the jackets at the end of the night. It worked out for the best though as the bouncer had to go fetch my jacket for me after leading me out of the building, the would-be skipper apologised to me outside afterwards strangely enough.

beks101

Oh Jesus.

I'm in Toronto, where strangers smile at you on the subway, hold doors open for you, and apologize for everything, including if YOU bump into THEM.

Just this evening on a packed subway a guy tapped me on the shoulder and asked me if it was ok for him to hold onto the same rail as me.

These stories of absolute arseholery in public spaces make me not want to come home, ever.

az2wp0sye65487

Ah, we love a good queue here! Was at the cinema last night and the screen we were going into was still closed for cleaning. This massive queue formed outside the door waiting for it to open. It was assigned seating, so it's not as if there was any advantage to getting in first!

Then, after the film was over everyone jumps up at the same time and tries to get to the door as quick as possible, causing another queue. Where have you got to be at 11.30pm that's so important??

Just queuing for the sake of it!

Another one is the self service tills in some supermarkets (depending on the layout). If there are tills on 2 sides, and only 1 queue you'll sometimes get peoe tryin to form a second que for one set of tills. They have to be put back in their place fairly quickly.

Anyway OP, best bet is just to be firm and say "excuse me, there's a queue here. You'll have to go to the back" - but I wouldn't consider waiting to get off the bus a queue as such. She just sounds like an ignorant bitch!

seb65

beks101 wrote: »

Oh Jesus.

I'm in Toronto, where strangers smile at you on the subway, hold doors open for you, and apologize for everything, including if YOU bump into THEM.

Just this evening on a packed subway a guy tapped me on the shoulder and asked me if it was ok for him to hold onto the same rail as me.

These stories of absolute arseholery in public spaces make me not want to come home, ever.

I agree. As a Torontonian living in Ireland there is a bit of irritation. People will practically knock you over here without so much as an acknowledgment. That would be considered rude in Canada. Women with these giant, mini-suv prams just expect you to jump out of their way - never saying, excuse me or thank you when you give them the right of way in teeny tiny shop aisles.

I remind myself that it's a cultural thing and that people don't mean to offend. I don't get the pram obsession though.

I do find Irish people are generally more friendly and nicer than Torontonians - and quick to help out a stranger in difficulty. If someone fell on the street here people would help, in Toronto they'd just step over you.

I don't find there's more incidents of line-butting here than at home. There's idiots everywhere.

userofbuses

The thing with the prams along pavements is very true. It also really annoys me when pedestrians make very risky decisions to cross the road in really unsafe situations by shoving their pram out onto the road. Taking a risk with their own safety is one thing but to do the same with their children is really bad.

Cinema's are funny. Most are too cheap to have an usher checking tickets in the actual theatre. Then you get people sitting in other people's seats, who aren't challenged by the people who had tickets for those seats, who in turn end up sitting in someone else's seats and then .... the whole thing turns into a mess. THis wouldn't happen as much in the UK especially in England. I think we Irish people have problems following and enforcing rules.

It also really annoys me in shops and other public places when counter staff allow people to skip queues.

I guess all of these rude and ignorant people make me appreciate the 99% of people who are nice, respectful and polite.

Anyway thanks for all of the replies.

beks101

seb65 wrote: »

I do find Irish people are generally more friendly and nicer than Torontonians - and quick to help out a stranger in difficulty. If someone fell on the street here people would help, in Toronto they'd just step over you.

I find Torontonians pretty helpful and generous as a whole actually. I've had a huge amount of pleasant subway interactions.

When I first got here and couldn't make head or tail of the TTC system, I remember stopping a few people for directions and they went out of their way to walk me to the right entry or help me to figure out which stop I needed to get to. Once a woman stopped me to tell me my lace was open and about to trip me up; a few people have handed me free subway passes that they no longer had use for; one random guy who was doodling on some paper mindlessly ripped it out of his notebook and handed it to me once, just because I happened to be standing beside him (it was a pic of a flower )

I find too that if you happen to make eye contact with someone, they'll generally smile, which is lovely. I like your people

I get what you're saying about friendliness though in a way, IME Torontonians will be less likely to banter with randomers at a bus stop than Irish people will.

April O Neill

beks101 wrote: »

hold doors open for you, and apologize for everything, including if YOU bump into THEM.

This happens in Ireland ALL the time, and I HATE it!

April O Neill

beks101 wrote: »

Once a woman stopped me to tell me my lace was open and about to trip me up;

This has also happened to me in Ireland.

PizzamanIRL

I can just imagine OP with cue cards or something, waiting for someone to skip ahead of her and she whips them out and proudly says 'I'm queuing too, is there some reason why you need to skip the queue?'

Just say 'Hey, ho, whoa, there's a queue'

Ruudi_Mentari

When you mention cutting how do you mean.

listen don't, be losing the head in a queue you'll only draw attention to yourselves..... we'd all like to just break out a machete, and start clearing a path but those people are in the same predicament too.

LizT

I've called people out on it before. I was queueing for tickets for a match in Dublin a few months ago and a middle aged couple came up to me and stood in front of me and the woman said
"You don't mind us standing here, do you, the queue is too long and I don't want to have to stand there for ages, we want to go have lunch"
and I just replied "Yes, I do mind, I've been queueing for 15 minutes" so they left and repeated that all down the queue until someone was stupid enough to let them skip in front of them.

The thing is, if she was maybe a bit more polite about it, I would have felt sorry for her but she was just rude and her sense of entitlement pissed me off.

JD DABA

Pumpkinseeds wrote: »

... to that I just nudge my way back in front and say I don't frigging think so.

And you assume she knew she had skipped the queue why?

Ive almost got into an altercation cause one fktard halfwit who believed physical assault was fine and dandy for him, thought I had skipped a queue and rather than simply say something, which would be the first port of call for anyone with half a fcking brain, he proceeded to shove me, which led to all manners of fun.

In centra's especially, theres usually a couple of tills or even three, with no established rules. People lined left and right and in front of tills, tills opening and closing...absolutely no way to tell whos next.
Which is when shtheads decide 'hey ive been wronged by the world, this man appears to have blatently violated my rights, rather than simply ask, ill resort to chimpanzee mode'. Because I perceive everything correctly always.

EazyD

People who skip queue's are generally entitled, moronic and fairly dense. Anything you do say will have practically zero effect. If you are paying for a beverage or liquid of some sort, it is very possible that it could unexplainably combust on said person(hotter the better). Do apologise and if challenged explain how it's such a pity given that they could have been at the back of the queue, away from harms way.

I accidentally skipped one before because nobody was queuing at the till, they were all queueing perpendicular to it at some distance away. I still don't get that. Lady at the counter told me there was a queue, pointed, I apologised to everyone and went at the back
Some person skipped the whole queue of a bus one morning, we'd been queueing forever because the last one hadn't shown up, so we weren't inclined to let it pass. Told him there's a queue, we've all been queueing since whatever time, and put our arms up "casually" to block him getting on

DubGF

Next time someone is cheeky enough to skip a queue ask them what letter comes after P in the alphabet, worked for me a few times

Caliden

userofbuses wrote: »

I lived in the UK for six years and I noticed that queuing is much more respected there and that people were much quicker to call people out for littering, making noise in the cinema, skipping queues, etc and that it wouldn't be just one person complaining

Case in point, try standing on the left on an escalator. You will find out quite quickly what side you should be standing on.

hardCopy

Try queuing for a ski lift on the continent. Absolute bedlam.

Irish people are very good queuers (sp?) in my experience.