Healthy Eating and Socialising

doctorwhogirl

This has been on my mind awhile and I've a thing coming up that has made me even more conscious of it all so I thought I'd put it to you fine folks!

Basically I'm wondering how you all deal with making healthy choices while out with friends/visiting friends.

For me, healthy eating is a part of my life as much as if I was a vegetarian. You wouldn't make a vegetarian eat a piece of meat in a restaurant but sometimes I feel like my friends put the same pressure on me and I find myself making excuses for not eating certain things. (Maybe that's a bad analogy but it's the best I can think of!)

For example, when out to dinner I'll make the best choices for me I can from a menu but I'd be genuinely content enough to enjoy the starter and the main and skip the dessert. Sometimes, I obviously have it but most of the time I'm happy enough not to and I don't feel deprived at all or like I'm making a sacrifice. My friends, however, always would query why I wouldn't have one and then imply (sort of jokingly) that they feel bad having one when I'm not having one?! As I said, of course I eat dessert but I eat it when I feel like it.

I have an issue next week in that my friend is having us over for a pizza party thing. To be honest, having read into nutrition and eaten well the thoughts of a big greasy pizza simply do not appeal to me! And I'm delighted they don't! I would much rather cook a lovely dinner for myself that isn't laden in crap. Again, don't get me wrong, there are times when I have fried food or junk but I'm perfectly happy without it.

My question is how do you get out of not eating stuff like that when in a friend's house etc... without feeling like you're a weirdo or being rude!

thegreatiam

doctorwhogirl wrote: »

This has been on my mind awhile and I've a thing coming up that has made me even more conscious of it all so I thought I'd put it to you fine folks!

Basically I'm wondering how you all deal with making healthy choices while out with friends/visiting friends.

For me, healthy eating is a part of my life as much as if I was a vegetarian. You wouldn't make a vegetarian eat a piece of meat in a restaurant but sometimes I feel like my friends put the same pressure on me and I find myself making excuses for not eating certain things. (Maybe that's a bad analogy but it's the best I can think of!)

For example, when out to dinner I'll make the best choices for me I can from a menu but I'd be genuinely content enough to enjoy the starter and the main and skip the dessert. Sometimes, I obviously have it but most of the time I'm happy enough not to and I don't feel deprived at all or like I'm making a sacrifice. My friends, however, always would query why I wouldn't have one and then imply (sort of jokingly) that they feel bad having one when I'm not having one?! As I said, of course I eat dessert but I eat it when I feel like it.

I have an issue next week in that my friend is having us over for a pizza party thing. To be honest, having read into nutrition and eaten well the thoughts of a big greasy pizza simply do not appeal to me! And I'm delighted they don't! I would much rather cook a lovely dinner for myself that isn't laden in crap. Again, don't get me wrong, there are times when I have fried food or junk but I'm perfectly happy without it.

My question is how do you get out of not eating stuff like that when in a friend's house etc... without feeling like you're a weirdo or being rude!

do they know you cook? For the pizza party why not ask if you bring a side dish for everyone to share? something like a large selection of homemade dips and celery/peppers/carrots to dip them and some home made tortillas?. Have a slice of pizza just to be polite then spend the rest of the time eating the dips. they wont notice as they will be stuffing their faces with glorious Pizza.

lots of pizza places are going gluten free, and offer things like naked wings as a side, opt for those type of things.

but tbh, ive never been concerned with what other people choose to eat, and I dont see why people seem to care.

syklops

I never eat dessert. I just dont have a sweet tooth and so at dinners/restaurants/weddings etc, I simply say I don't have a sweet tooth and I don't get dessert. I'm not aware of ever offending anyone. If you are very conscious of being the only one not having anything you could always have something small from the cheese board.

As for the pizza party, it depends where they are sourcing them from. If they are ordering in from Dominos then I doubt they will be counting how many slices you have. If they are home made ones, could you offer to bring your own low fat/calorie one to 'share' and then you basically have that one?

hardCopy

Arrive late or say you've already eaten?

Maybe you'll be lucky and they'll have something healthy on. Myself and girlfriend always put on some kind of healthy option, usually carrots and hummous or some kind of salad. Healthy options are surprisingly popular, even among a group of drunken lads.

doctorwhogirl

I think the pizza place is like a chipper.

All valid suggestions above but why should I have to eat a slice of pizza I have no interest in or lie and say that I've already eaten!? This is what frustrates me!!!!

syklops

doctorwhogirl wrote: »

I think the pizza place is like a chipper.

All valid suggestions above but why should I have to eat a slice of pizza I have no interest in or lie and say that I've already eaten!? This is what frustrates me!!!!

So you dont want to have a slice of pizza for appearances sake, and you don't want to lie, and you don't want to appear rude. Have you considered not going? .

thegreatiam

doctorwhogirl wrote: »

I think the pizza place is like a chipper.

All valid suggestions above but why should I have to eat a slice of pizza I have no interest in or lie and say that I've already eaten!? This is what frustrates me!!!!

certainly there are some expectations which are basic manners.
Ive eaten fish at a new acquaintance house because they made dinner for each of us and, tbh, it is rude to turn down the food of your host. (to a lesser degree it is rude to prepare food for someone without checking to see if they think fish is rotten food that I wouldn't give to a dog.)

At a pizza party with mates tho the etiquette will be a bit less strict.
Dont forget that a lot of people will invite you to eat (go on have a dessert) simply to assuage their own guilt of pigging out.

and if the food situation is getting to you this much try to find none food related activities with your friends. at the pizza party suggest going to something you can avoid food at.


Edit:

Thinking about it more I can see another opportunity here.
Suggest that they have a make your own pizza party.

You can easily make a selection of healthy bases to bring. then each person bring a sauce or topping and you each make your own. would be cheaper and healthier than ordering a bunch of pizza. and just as much fun as waiting for a delivery guy.

hardCopy

doctorwhogirl wrote: »

I think the pizza place is like a chipper.

All valid suggestions above but why should I have to eat a slice of pizza I have no interest in or lie and say that I've already eaten!? This is what frustrates me!!!!

You don't have to do anything. Some people would be very understanding if you just said you don't want to eat pizza. Some people can be less understanding, if you think it might cause an issue then a white lie never hurt anybody.

doctorwhogirl

syklops wrote: »

So you dont want to have a slice of pizza for appearances sake, and you don't want to lie, and you don't want to appear rude. Have you considered not going? .

Fair enough, but I do want to see my friends and hang out with them.

To be honest, I'm not too fussed in general about the situation but I just wondered how others deal with similar things? Not to get too hung up on the specifics.

Of course, if someone made food for me I would have some, because I would never be that ignorant/rude!

I like the idea of bringing alternative sides etc...

syklops

thegreatiam wrote: »

Edit:

Thinking about it more I can see another opportunity here.
Suggest that they have a make your own pizza party.

You can easily make a selection of healthy bases to bring. then each person bring a sauce or topping and you each make your own. would be cheaper and healthier than ordering a bunch of pizza. and just as much fun as waiting for a delivery guy.

The OP said the pizza place is like a chipper, Im taking from this that they are going to a pizzaria / greasey spoon type place, so bringing your own pizza / base like my suggestion won't work. Thats why I suggested she not go, because if she is very health conscious she is not going to find much on the menu of a chippers that she will happily have.

jenizzle

Is it possible for you to take a look at the offerings from the pizza place in advance? Perhaps they do some side dishes that may not be as bad that you could avail of? Tbh, your friends shouldn't be put out by the fact you don't want pizza!

I know exactly what you mean though. I'm lucky in that most people around me are very supportive, it's mostly the fact that I don't eat bread or potatoes that sets people off (like when I ask me Da to swap my spuds for his broccoli, he finds it hard to understand this concept ). When I'm eating out, I'll either fill up before I head out, then not eat a lot, or pick what I can from the menu.

syklops

doctorwhogirl wrote: »

Fair enough, but I do want to see my friends and hang out with them.

To be honest, I'm not too fussed in general about the situation but I just wondered how others deal with similar things? Not to get too hung up on the specifics.

Of course, if someone made food for me I would have some, because I would never be that ignorant/rude!

I like the idea of bringing alternative sides etc...

Do your friends know you are very health conscious? I doubt they would have chosen this for the party if they knew you don't do pizzas and chips. If they did know and went ahead and organised it anyway, then I wouldn't worry too much about offending them by not having any.

All this talk of pizza is making me really hungry

thegreatiam

syklops wrote: »

The OP said the pizza place is like a chipper, Im taking from this that they are going to a pizzaria / greasey spoon type place, so bringing your own pizza / base like my suggestion won't work. Thats why I suggested she not go, because if she is very health conscious she is not going to find much on the menu of a chippers that she will happily have.

I assumed it is a party at home.
going out for pizza or having a pizza party?

syklops

thegreatiam wrote: »

I assumed it is a party at home.
going out for pizza or having a pizza party?

doctorwhogirl wrote:

I think the pizza place is like a chipper.

All valid suggestions above but why should I have to eat a slice of pizza I have no interest in or lie and say that I've already eaten!? This is what frustrates me!!!!

OPs words not mine.

thegreatiam

this pizza talk is reminding me that my girlfriends vegan sister is staying with us for a week. I may have to stop of a domino's and get a double meat feast with 2 sides of franks chicken wings.

thegreatiam

syklops wrote: »

OPs words not mine.

more chippers would deliver to your house than would be able to host parties. Ive only seen one chipper with chairs for more than a couple of people and I wouldn't want a party in there.

syklops

thegreatiam wrote: »

more chippers would deliver to your house than would be able to host parties. Ive only seen one chipper with chairs for more than a couple of people and I wouldn't want a party in there.

Well maybe we can get the OP to clarify then. Further speculation is pointless.

thegreatiam

syklops wrote: »

Well maybe we can get the OP to clarify then. Further speculation is pointless.

I could quite literally not care less, it matters little which is right and changes none of the points made by anyone.

redundant to keep bringing it up tbh

syklops

thegreatiam wrote: »

redundant to keep bringing it up tbh

Indeed.

Piglet85

Without meaning to sound sexist, it seems to be mainly guys addressing this and saying they've not found it to be an issue, and I'm sure that's the case. The thing is, though, I think that in general men are less likely to give each other a hard time about their eating habits than women are. An awful lot of women have insecurities when it comes to food and body image, and as a result they take a significant interest in what those around them are eating. For example, there was a thread in TLL about women comparing themselves to others (body shape and looks-wise), and the amount of girls who said they do this is unreal. I think a similar thing goes on in relation to food. Time and time again I've been/seen other people be hassled about why they're eating healthily, how boring it is, how they should "treat" themselves, as if they couldn't possibly be happy eating well. A lot of women constantly compare what they're eating with what their friends eat, and if they know they're making the wrong choices, they're apt to try and sabotage their friend's weight-loss/maintenance, or encourage them to join them in pigging out so that they don't feel so bad about doing it. Having someone eat crap with you somehow makes it better for some people, I think.

I don't have any answers to this one DWG I'm afraid, but I know exactly how you feel. It must be annoying to have your eating habits pointed in company. I wonder how some of those people doing the nagging would feel if you started saying stuff like, "Wow, are you really going to eat all that? But it's so unhealthy! It'll make you fat!", etc., etc. Don't get me wrong, it doesn't keep me awake at night, but I think that for the guys out there, you may not realise how common it is for girls to pressure each other like this. I'm sure it happens among men too, but I think us ladies have a tendency to be very hard on each other (and ourselves) when it comes to food.

syklops

Piglet85 wrote:

The thing is, though, I think that in general men are less likely to give each other a hard time about their eating habits than women are

Not in my experience. This is why I eat my lunch at my desk everyday. Can't stand people(I work in a predominantly male environment) passing judgement over my salad-box lunch.

Challo

Nothing helpful to add but just to empathize with your situation. It's very much a female group thing. Even in work, it's very hard to turn down cakes/treats without seeming rude. Often, I've no interest in eating a slice of coffee cake at 10am just because we put together a great document but you're right, there is a sense of being rude/ungrateful if you don't go along with everyone. Definitely comments about making others feel bad. Of course it's easy to say just ignore it but it does affect relationships/atmosphere. Almost like the Rachel not smoking episode in friends! My close friends are generally understanding but other friends, not so. To be honest, even my own mother can indirectly force me to eat food I would never eat...

homemadecider

I can empathise with this OP; anytime I go to my sister's house we are presented with huge quantities of food and encouraged to eat, eat, eat. My sister would always be at me to have dessert, but it's not really because she wants me to eat it - it's because she doesn't want to look bad eating dessert on her own!

Honestly the easiest thing is just to be honest and say you're eating healthily and would rather not eat pizza. Bring some of your own food with you or else eat before you go. Undoubtedly some people will be the 'go on, go on' types shoving pizza in your face, but just laugh and smile and say no thanks and then change the subject. Just make sure you don't come across as smug or preachy about your food choices - this is the only thing likely to get backs up.

Hope it goes well - just stick to your guns and you will be fine!

seosamh1980

I will always have a starter or main, and then my dessert I would eat 3 sweet courses if I was let So there have been many times when I've been the only one eating dessert and feeling like a glutton, even though the others might have eaten much more than me with their two savoury courses.

I'd just politely say no thanks to things I didn't want, but I know with a pizza party it would be tough to say no to the main food. In that sort of situation I would often eat a little bit if I can and then leave it, but if it's something I know I'm likely to eat all of once I start I'll just eat something else. I don't drink very much and I don't eat white bread, over the last few years I've gotten used to my friends thinking I'm boring/contrary when I won't "have another" or ask if white bread is the only option. I gloss over it, and after a while they've all realised that I'm not that fussed, so there's no need for them to be.

Sometimes I've felt a bit rude, when I might be starving but don't want to eat what I'm given, but what can you do. I was starving after a long flight one night when I arrived to a relative's in the UK, and they ordered Chinese takeaway. I could've cried, they have no food in the house, and I was faced with a greasy Chinese as my only option. I ate as much as I could stomach, then sulked and went to bed But lookit, it was pretty crap of them to think that would be good food to eat at 10.30pm after my long trip, so if they are going to be thoughtless then I'm going to be cranky!

JessieJames

I can understand this completely. I'm at a stage where I limit the amount of time with friends and social situations because it all centred around food/restaurants/bars/take-aways/sweets/pigging out. it sucks but its a sacrifice. :rolleyes:

Mr. CooL ICE

It's not too bad for me because as eat strictly healthy 6/7 days of the week and make sure I treat myself only one day a week. So assuming I know a bit in advance, I'll make my weekly treat the occasion that I would be at a friends place eating pizza.

On the rare occasions that I have to turn something down, I have told the truth and been met with sarcastic comments like "yeah, you reeeaaaally need to lose weight" (I'm in good shape). Most assume that if you aren't fat, you can eat what you like, but it's not like that. I just know in my head that the next time I go running, I will feel those pints and a pizzas I had at the weekend.

seosamh1980

I also find that when I do eat a load (like when you've planned a treat meal or something and are so looking forward to it and have earned it) I sometimes get the comments of "Fecking hell you eat like that and where do you put it?". One of my biggest treats in life is Christmas dinner (I like to see calories as a challenge on Dec 25th ) and I eat at least two servings of each course, yum yum. I don't drink alcohol or fizzy drinks etc with it at all, and it's all homemade by my mum so in fairness if I'm going to overeat it's not a bad way to do it.

Anyway, every year, without fail, one overweight relative of mine will tut, look shocked, and say in what seems to be genuine awe "How do you eat like that and not get fat". She doesn't seem to grasp that I don't eat like that every day, one day of the year won't make a difference!

We can't win :P

tattykitty

I empathise also, and agree with the poster above that we can't win! I was at a party over the weekend where the hosts cooked a huge Mexican-style spread for us. Everyone started loading up taco shells and wraps, which of course don't look like much on a big dinner plate once assembled. I'm trying to avoid bread, wheat etc. so I just went for a heap of chicken and salad on my plate. As I brought it back to my seat, there were cries of, "go on girl!" "that's the way, get stuck in!", and wide eyes from some of the ladies. I probably didn't have more than anyone else, and there was plenty left for people to go up again, but I immediately felt like a greedy cow (it doesn't help that I have my own food insecurities and have always struggled with my weight). No one was being mean, but it seems that comments always have to be made in these kinds of situations. Similarly, if I'm having a light lunch, I feel like I have to hide it because colleagues will say, "is that ALL you're having?!" (And if they saw how much I eat generally, they'd say the opposite.)

It's all rather tiresome. Still, I'm learning to ignore folk and just eat what I want. I'm getting better at choosing the healthier options, and when I know there's definitely not going to be anything I want, I eat before I go out and then meet friends later in the pub.

Glitter

This is a thing that's been much on my mind lately too.

I am at the stage where I turn down a good few social invitations because of not wanting to eat crap / waste calories on booze that week.

It's tough sometimes and you feel like you're being a spoilsport occasionally.

If I do go out to dinner now I usually go with my wife (who understands) or my foodiest food friend as a planned treat where I know she'd rather split a starter and the cheese plate than gorge on big gooey desserts anyway.

I still go to parties and stuff but always try to have a massive healthy dinner beforehand so I won't be tempted by the snacks when I've had a few drinks.

Dark Phoenix

stop giving into pressure and just speak your mind for once. Im a woman and Ive found myself in this situation loads of times I work on a team of women who are all over weight and who eat junk food non stop. One of them is a self confessed 'feeder' and will offer things all day long. I just say no thank you. if they are getting a take away for lunch I just say no thank you. if we go somewhere together I just eat less.

in a restuarant if you dont want desert just dont eat it simple as - get a herbal tea instead if you need something.

My boyfriends mum is a feeder and I;ve learned to just eat what I want to eat and to say no when she tries to give me more and more. I think sometimes the reason people do this is it validates them eating junk if you do it too. If your sat there being healthy they feel giulty about eating crap - thats their problem not yours

In terms of the pizza thing why not either say you have already eaten, bring a dish you made that everyone can share or see does the pizza place offer other snacks you might prefer (some of them do chicken things etc).

Tayla

doctorwhogirl wrote: »

All valid suggestions above but why should I have to eat a slice of pizza I have no interest in or lie and say that I've already eaten!? This is what frustrates me!!!!

You don't have to eat the pizza or lie about it, just tell them no thanks.
I presume if you were going somewhere and knew you weren't going to eat the food then you would eat in advance anyway so it wouldn't even be a lie to say you've already eaten.

LordChessington wrote: »

It's not too bad for me because as eat strictly healthy 6/7 days of the week and make sure I treat myself only one day a week. So assuming I know a bit in advance, I'll make my weekly treat the occasion that I would be at a friends place eating pizza.

On the rare occasions that I have to turn something down, I have told the truth and been met with sarcastic comments like "yeah, you reeeaaaally need to lose weight" (I'm in good shape). Most assume that if you aren't fat, you can eat what you like, but it's not like that. I just know in my head that the next time I go running, I will feel those pints and a pizzas I had at the weekend.

Completely agree with this, I will eat healthy food most days so sometimes I would eat junk at the weekend, however I don't like pizza or Chinese food so if they were on offer then I wouldn't eat it because I don't like it and it makes me feel like crap so what would be the point?

In general I don't find that people would be embarrassed to turn down salad or healthy food so why should people feel embarrassed when they are turning down junk food?