Nigella Lawsons husband hands around throat in public

Ava_e

lertsnim wrote: »

It is a complete invasion of privacy. Don't believe everything the papers tell you either.

The papers weren't telling me anything, the pictures were painting a thousand words.

EyeSight

it is odd to me that she is considered famous enough to have the papz following her and staking out while she eats

Laneyh

Downlinz wrote: »

It's really a sad state of affairs that people who cause an issue with something like this. Is it any more inappropriate than a girl slapping a guy who she feels wronged him? Because I see that all the time in clubs.
The article even said he walked away looking guilty and ashamed, he probably lost his temper at whatever the issue was and felt regret. She was probably upset at whatever caused the issue and his reaction rather than because her neck hurt.

Saatchi caused the issue, The People reported it and the public are reacting to it.

Girls/ women hitting men at any time is not right either and should not be tolerated. It would be a bit more difficult to see / hear what was happening in a club scenario. I can imagine in a lot of cases the guy will laugh it off but
it would be a safe assumption that those involved were drinking. In that case the best course of action would be to chuck both parties out of the club.

This was in the middle of the day in public and looks pretty one sided to me

There is more than one kind of hurt. He may not have caused actual physical pain by holding her neck but it is an intimidating and agressive action.
If someone did that to me I would feel intimidated, embarassed and shocked

Are you suggesting that we should ignore this and not have any reaction / opinion on it because he looked like he felt guilty?
Does it not worry you in the slightest that he lost his temper in the first place to the point where he got physical to re-inforce his argument ?

If a child did that they'd be penalised never mind to say a 70 year old man

coffee_cake

Downlinz wrote: »

It's really a sad state of affairs that people who cause an issue with something like this. Is it any more inappropriate than a girl slapping a guy who she feels wronged him? Because I see that all the time in clubs.
The article even said he walked away looking guilty and ashamed, he probably lost his temper at whatever the issue was and felt regret. She was probably upset at whatever caused the issue and his reaction rather than because her neck hurt.

Wtf? A woman is possibly getting openly abused in public and your reaction is "so what, what about a man getting slapped sometimes"?
Yes, assault is always wrong. No, it has nothing to do with this

HondaSami

She has previously alluded to a tempestuous relationship with her husband,she kissed him on the cheek after the row, she was upset but that could be because they were fighting over the kids.

I'm not condoning anything but what goes on between couples is their business, if they want to throw punches or whatever it's not up to us to be outraged on either of their behalves.

HondaSami

HondaSami wrote: »

She has previously alluded to a tempestuous relationship with her husband,she kissed him on the cheek after the row, she was upset but that could be because they were fighting over the kids.

I'm not condoning anything but what goes on between couples is their business, if they want to throw punches or whatever it's not up to us to be outraged on either of their behalves.

Seriously? You think people should be allowed abuse one another publicly without judgement?

Odds are she kissed him to placate him, something abused parties do alongside accepting responsibility for provoking their own abuse. She's upset because her husband had her by the neck and humiliated her in public, then tried to pass it off as a playful tiff.

You might not find that outrageous, but I do.

eviltwin

HondaSami wrote: »

She has previously alluded to a tempestuous relationship with her husband,she kissed him on the cheek after the row, she was upset but that could be because they were fighting over the kids.

I'm not condoning anything but what goes on between couples is their business, if they want to throw punches or whatever it's not up to us to be outraged on either of their behalves.

Assault is assault. It shouldn't matter that the person being attacked happens to be in a relationship with their attacker.

HondaSami

Candie wrote: »

Seriously? You think people should be allowed abuse one another publicly without judgement?

Odds are she kissed him to placate him, something abused parties do alongside accepting responsibility for provoking their own abuse. She's upset because her husband had her by the neck and humiliated her in public, then tried to pass it off as a playful tiff.

You might not find that outrageous, but I do.

I don't know them so have no idea what their relationship is like, this might be the relationship they have and one she is happy with.
You are assuming she is an abused wife, do you know this for sure?

eviltwin wrote: »

Assault is assault. It shouldn't matter that the person being attacked happens to be in a relationship with their attacker.

I agree and never said different.

Raging_Ninja

Ah sure it was only a playful tiff

HondaSami

HondaSami wrote: »

I don't know them so have no idea what their relationship is like, this might be the relationship they have and one she is happy with.
You are assuming she is an abused wife, do you know this for sure?
.

I've seen the photos. In them a man is holding a tearful woman by the neck and she looks terrified.

This may not be abuse, but it certainly looks like it. One thing she definitely doesn't look is happy with the situation.

I don't know for sure that she's an abused wife. What I can surmise from the photos is that she is. Or at least, a tearful, frightened and humiliated wife, not a happy one.

HondaSami

Candie wrote: »

I've seen the photos. In them a man is holding a tearful woman by the neck and she looks terrified.

This may not be abuse, but it certainly looks like it. One thing she definitely doesn't look is happy with the situation.

I don't know for sure that she's an abused wife. What I can surmise from the photos is that she is. Or at least, a tearful, frightened and humiliated wife, not a happy one.

I don't think she looks terrified tbh, she looks uncomfortable and yes of course she is humiliated, she is under pressure now to say if she is an abused wife, will people think she is regardless of what she says?

Laneyh

HondaSami wrote: »

She has previously alluded to a tempestuous relationship with her husband,she kissed him on the cheek after the row, she was upset but that could be because they were fighting over the kids.

I'm not condoning anything but what goes on between couples is their business, if they want to throw punches or whatever it's not up to us to be outraged on either of their behalves.

It's reasonable to assume she was upset to begin with because they were arguing. It's not pleasant to witness people arguing and someone getting upset but of course it does happen.

We have no idea about the dynamics of their relationship and she has not made a formal complaint / report.

If he is doing this or worse behind closed doors we won't know about it and it would really be up to her to make a complaint.
Even then if neighbours heard sounds of violence taking place you'd like to think they'd report it.


However, what goes on between anyone when played out in public is not just their business.

Eyewitness accounts said they were shocked and disturbed by what they saw and they have every right to be.

He was publicly being physically abusive - playful my arse.
The same laws and moral standards apply to him as to everyone else so what he was doing was inappropriate and possibly illegal.

Laneyh

HondaSami wrote: »

I don't think she looks terrified tbh, she looks uncomfortable and yes of course she is humiliated, she is under pressure now to say if she is an abused wife, will people think she is regardless of what she says?

People will think he is abusive because he has done nothing to disprove it.
Whether she is or isn't an abused wife is an issue she will have to deal with.

I'm not a body language expert, nor a psychologist and I don't know the woman so have no idea what her face looks like when terrified.

However, it really is quite disturbing that her level of upset / pain is what is under scrutiny and not Saatchi's loss of control

I totally understand why people don't want to get involved and didn't on the day. I sort of understand why people would encourage a measured response rather than a total witchhunt but I cannot understand anyone who says we should just ignore it and it's the couple's business.

I really hope that if I'm ever the victim of a crime the sole witness isn't someone who is waiting to see whether I'm terrified or not. Sometimes people laugh when hysterical , in shock or extremely nervous this does not mean they are happy.

St.Spodo

You'd have to be a bit of a bastard to put your hand around your crying wife's neck, no? Assault is not an issue to be dealt with in an internal domestic fashion. The police are right to look into this.

Ava_e

Got a caution for assault http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/crime/10126441/Charles-Saatchi-accepts-caution-for-assault.html

SafeSurfer

This is modern art. It is an giant real life installation. Look at the actors invloved. Brilliant is all I can say!

Cookie_Monster

it's ok, we all just got it wrong:

But Saatchi said: "About a week ago, we were sitting outside a restaurant having an intense debate about the children, and I held Nigella's neck repeatedly while attempting to emphasise my point.

"There was no grip, it was a playful tiff. The pictures are horrific but give a far more drastic and violent impression of what took place. Nigella's tears were because we both hate arguing, not because she had been hurt.

"We had made up by the time we were home. The paparazzi were congregated outside our house after the story broke yesterday morning, so I told Nigella to take the kids off till the dust settled."

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/lifestyle/news/article.cfm?c_id=6&objectid=10891232

Ava_e

Ava_e wrote: »

Got a caution for assault http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/crime/10126441/Charles-Saatchi-accepts-caution-for-assault.html

Well at least he accepts it was an assault now, and not a 'playful tiff'.

I'm just glad he's had the chance to experience humiliation too.

Duggy747

Cookie_Monster wrote: »

I held Nigella's neck repeatedly while attempting to emphasise my point.

Hmm, you're not doing a good job in expressing your point if you have to put your hands around someone's neck.

MadsL

jaffacakesyum wrote: »

Eh how are you getting that from my post? I specifically said if he is being abusive I hope she leaves him.

It certainly does not look like "joking" in the pictures and I can't see how that would even cross your mind when looking at the photos. As for bondage, it could be but if it looks like a duck, swims like a duck...etc. In my limited knowledge of bondage, the submissive tends to get enjoyment out of it. Do those photos look like Nigella is enjoying herself?

Not gonna comment on Nigella, but I would have thought that if your sub looks as though she is enjoying herself, you are doing it wrong.

General General

What kind of idiot do you have to be at 70 to respond to claims that you had your hand 'round your wife's throat in an argument with: it was a playful tiff?

70 years of age. Educated. FFS.

Merkin

http://www.irishtimes.com/news/world/uk/charles-saatchi-admits-nigella-lawson-assault-1.1433060

up for anything

I'm not sure why the various women's groups are so pleased that the fact that domestic violence exists in all levels of society has been highlighted. It seems a pointless when the victim has so far not held her hand up and admitted the fact. If somebody who has a career in her own right and the finances behind her to get out of it instead sits tight how does it help all those people in abusive relationships who don't have tools to get themselves out of their own traps.

I read that he never eats her 'fancy' cooking and insists he prefers nursery food. I wonder if that was a tool he used to put her in her place and keep her there by destroying her confidence in her talent at home.

JJJJNR

Be very surprised if the divorce lawyers don’t move in now.

P. Breathnach

up for anything wrote: »

I'm not sure why the various women's groups are so pleased that the fact that domestic violence exists in all levels of society has been highlighted. It seems a pointless when the victim has so far not held her hand up and admitted the fact. If somebody who has a career in her own right and the finances behind her to get out of it instead sits tight how does it help all those people in abusive relationships who don't have tools to get themselves out of their own traps.

I read that he never eats her 'fancy' cooking and insists he prefers nursery food. I wonder if that was a tool he used to put her in her place and keep her there by destroying her confidence in her talent at home.

There is a useful and important lesson to be learned[*] from this event: victims of family violence, spousal abuse, or domestic assault are disempowered to an astonishing degree. This can happen even with an apparently-strong person like Nigella Lawson who has sufficient resources to be capable of walking away and organising a life for herself without her husband. Anybody who suggests that a victim should walk away from an abusive relationship is right in one sense, but wrong in thinking that it is easy to do it.


[*] When I say that there is a lesson to be learned, I say so with some heaviness of heart. The phenomenon is very well known among people who have worked with victims of abuse. It is very disappointing that so many people have no understanding of the disempowering effect of assault, abuse, or violence.

Son Of A Vidic

As a man I deplore some men who are so threatened by a successful women. The type who must bully and need to dominate their partners, to make up for their own pathetic little inadequacies. What's most worrying of all is, if this chicken shít is prepared to behave like a beast in such a public location. God forbid what he would be capable of in the privacy of their own home. So I can only hope Nigella dumps this piece of shít into the thrash where he belongs.

tigger123

Corvus Maximus wrote: »

As man I deplore some men who are so threatened by a successful women. The type who must bully and need to dominate their partners, to make up for their own pathetic little inadequacies. What's most worrying of all is, if this chicken shít is prepared to behave like a beast in such a public location. God forbid what he would be capable of in the privacy of their own home. So I can only hope Nigella dumps this piece of shít into the thrash where he belongs.

I'd be inclined to agree, any man that's intimidated by a successful partner really needs their head examined, it reeks of insecurity.

Jiggers77

Yakult wrote: »

Woman being choked, lets take photos!!
Why didn't any one call the cops? Surely that's not acceptable, famous or not..

Yeah whats the deal with the other peeps in the restaurant! Surely somebody would intervene if they seen this going on, if not a customer then a member of staff! I herad on Matt Cooper yesterday that they claimed to know nowt about it. How convenient!

JP Liz V1

Dump him Nigella she could do so much better

anto9

She is a slag .He could do much better .