Sauce for the goose

bettybarlow

Ok will keep problem lighthearted but still a problem.

Have sex 1-2 times per week.
Give my man 1 or 2 blow jobs a week.
He never gives me oral.
Should I

A Dump him
B Give him bj only after he returns favour
C Continue to please my man regardless
D Turn lesbian

Rayne Wooney

I'll have to measure your BJ skills to give an accurate answer.


Meet me in Texaco bathrooms tomorrow at 12.

stefan idiot jones

Increase the blow job ratio.

The Backwards Man

There are three things I hate;

A) People who make lists
People who can't count

orestes

What does a goose have to do with this?

Pervert.

TheBody

Are you any relation to Ken from Coronation Street?

Ihatecuddles-old

Have you asked him?? Just grab the back of his head while you kiss and shove it down there...

Or maybe try showering more :P kidding...

Fr_Dougal

Is that you, Catherine Zeta?

Dave0301

Option E

Make him a steak to go with the blowjobs!

kneemos

Have you got a dog?

Boombastic

This thread needs a poll
b)

Banjo String

I'd go with E OP.

QUIT trolling, and get back to chattin on his mike.

bettybarlow

Rayne Wooney wrote: »

I'll have to measure your BJ skills to give an accurate answer.


Meet me in Texaco bathrooms tomorrow at 12.

yer on

bettybarlow

SamHall wrote: »

I'd go with E OP.

QUIT trolling, abd get back to chattin on the Mike.

not trolling, it's true. We had argument bout it 2day

optimistic_

He clearly doesn't want fanny cancer in his mouth.

Banjo String

bettybarlow wrote: »

not trolling, it's true. We had argument bout it 2day

Run me through the argument.

How'd that go?

bettybarlow

SamHall wrote: »

Run me through the argument.

How'd that go?

You want the script?
Is your tv broke?

Notorious97

Well your relationship is really going to get some sound advice in here

Next time he asks whats for dinner, show him i guess

bettybarlow

Notorious97 wrote: »

Well your relationship is really going to get some sound advice in here

Next time he asks whats for dinner, show him i guess

Yeah but in the middle of the banter ya sometimes get an answer that is spot on.
The Relationship thread might be better option but it gets too heavy.

The Pheasant

Hahaha the first time I read "Give my man 1 or 2 blow jobs a week."
I thought it said "Give my mam 1 or blow jobs a week." - got a fright there :P

and regarding your question just explain you want oral as much as he wants head and that it's a reciprocal thing. The more sushi buffet he eats the more head he gets

bettybarlow

The Pheasant wrote: »

Hahaha the first time I read "Give my man 1 or 2 blow jobs a week."
I thought it said "Give my mam 1 or blow jobs a week." - got a fright there :P

and regarding your question just explain you want oral as much as he wants head and that it's a reciprocal thing. The more sushi buffet he eats the more head he gets

Ok will tell him that now. Will let yez all know how it goes.

Fr_Dougal

bettybarlow wrote: »

Yeah but in the middle of the banter ya sometimes get an answer that is spot on.
The Relationship thread might be better option but it gets too heavy.

Maybe you're just crap at head, I've met a few girls that thought they'd mad skilz at oral and they were absolutely sh1t.

mfceiling

E - marry me

Latchy

Monday nights is perv's night in AH

( two for the price of one on the drinks until 11 pm ...all welcome )

catallus

http://www.galwayartsfestival.com/history/uploads/2004/m-20120302133743_tom_mathews.jpg

Geese and ganders!

Actually OP, your dilemma will only get worse with celebrities coming out and saying oral sex causes cancer! Sad state of affairs....

Son Of A Vidic

bettybarlow wrote: »

not trolling, it's true.

Of course we believe you.

BBDBB

SamHall wrote: »

Run me through the argument.

How'd that go?

something like

her -(*muffled) yooo nebber gib me orab ya fubber

him - yeah keep going

bettybarlow

Corvus Maximus wrote: »

Of course we believe you.

Cos it's unlikely there are men out there who expect something they don't give themselves?

Of course that doesn't happen.

bettybarlow

Ok it seems he doesn't like the idea of it being equally shared.....
......like he doesn't like the housework being shared.
......or the bills being shared.

It seems he thinks I am a nag so he went to the pub.

Esoteric_

If you're not trolling, then why are you doing more than your share of the housework, paying more than your share of the bills and still giving him oral when he won't do it for you?

Self respect, get some.

jugger0

Sounds like a case of smelly minge if you ask me.

mad turnip

make it fun, get the ice cream out, you can always use flavored liquids and the likes, I found vanilla ice cream and oral very enjoyable

quasimoron

The guy is obviously a selfish, immature eejit who is useless in bed, around the house and stingey with paying the bills.

Stop all BJ's before you get lock jaw or cheese related rashes.
Do only your share of the housework.
Pay only your share of the bills.
If he objects get rid. Get rid anyway, you can do better.

quasimoron

jugger0 wrote: »

Sounds like a case of smelly minge if you ask me.

Or selfish, useless git-itis.

srm23

Blame Michael Douglas OP

Wattle

It should be give a little get a little so option B.

Czarcasm

bettybarlow wrote: »

Ok will keep problem lighthearted but still a problem.

bettybarlow wrote: »

......like he doesn't like the housework being shared.
......or the bills being shared.

It seems he thinks I am a nag so he went to the pub.

I think I see the root of your problem OP:

You're being passive aggressive - start off with a "lighthearted" thread, that suddenly turns out there's a whole host of other shìt going on behind it!

"Lighthearted" my ass! :pac:

TheLastMohican

How come all posts go off on a sex tangent. While I like Morillo Cherry with Wine sauce, Apple and Cinnamon go nicely and complement the goose/gander.

Sofiztikated

Here's a fúcking mad idea. Talk to him. Not argue, but actually talk to him.

He might not feel comfortable with his oral skills, he might not like the taste, he might not like the thought, he might just be a selfish person.

General General

Thanks winning post employing phrase: his goose is cooked!

SeanW

D.

And get a webcam.

hatrickpatrick

Dave0301 wrote: »

Option E

Make him a steak to go with the blowjobs!

Just occurred to me, try lining the whole area with bacon rinds?

Cody Pomeray

Ride me sideways was another one.

corktina

i should invite his best mate round for a threesome and to do the biz for you....

...signed...Hisbestmate

2 stroke

I sugest option e. Cheat on him. If your technique is good, I'll give 2 for 1.

Hoop66

I'm guessing from the other statements (housework/bills) that you have a "traditional" relationship and you probably do the cooking?

So stop. And tell him there'll be no more eating in until he starts eating out.

bettybarlow

mad turnip wrote: »

make it fun, get the ice cream out, you can always use flavored liquids and the likes, I found vanilla ice cream and oral very enjoyable

Could I take advice from someone called Mad Turnip?:D

bettybarlow

Czarcasm wrote: »

I think I see the root of your problem OP:

You're being passive aggressive - start off with a "lighthearted" thread, that suddenly turns out there's a whole host of other shìt going on behind it!

"Lighthearted" my ass! :pac:

He is the one brought up the rest when he mentioned nagging, but yeah I see what you mean.
Passive aggressive would describe how I have been.
Ta for pointing it out.

Banjo

If raising children has taught me anything relevant to this thread, and I have to stress in the strongest legal terms that it hasn't, it's that it takes 15 tries to acquire a taste, and positive association is everything

So basically whenever his team win a match, ju-jitsu him to the ground and wriggle your business on his face like a drunk slug on a dancefloor. By the end of the season you will be the taste of victory. Unless he supports QPR.

A happy side effect : by the time it rolls around cup final day will have you dribbling downstairs like Pavlov's dog in an alarm clock shop.

jaffacakesyum

I don't understand men like that...going down on a woman is one of the greatest pleasures in life

bettybarlow

Banjo wrote: »

If raising children has taught me anything relevant to this thread, and I have to stress in the strongest legal terms that it hasn't, it's that it takes 15 tries to acquire a taste, and positive association is everything

So basically whenever his team win a match, ju-jitsu him to the ground and wriggle your business on his face like a drunk slug on a dancefloor. By the end of the season you will be the taste of victory. Unless he supports QPR.

A happy side effect : by the time it rolls around cup final day will have you dribbling downstairs like Pavlov's dog in an alarm clock shop.

This post made me laugh so much. Ok he is not a Man U fan so victory won't be that regular but thankfully not QPR either. Good idea Banjo!