Giving up your seat?

Oranage2

So on public transport we often give up our seats, usually to the disabled, pregnant, elderly or someone with a small child.

It got me thinking, how old does a person have to be before you give up your seat, also how young does the child have to be before you give up your seat?

I had recently a mother with a 10-12 year old kid look at me as if I should give up the seat, I gave her a I don't think so look, far too old to need a seat.

I think 60ish for an elderly person and maybe a kid of 6 or under id give up my seat.

What about yourselves after hours.

Toby Take a Bow

Oranage2 wrote: »

It got me thinking, how old does a person have to be before you give up your seat, also how young does the child have to be before you give up your seat?

Over 65 (or frail looking) and if the kid can walk, it stands.

Sunnyisland

If I see a person any person struggling while standing I would offer my seat.

Balmed Out

I find the kid thing very funny, when I was a child you would be forced by youre mother to stand to let any adult sit.

gramar

Oranage2 wrote: »

I think 60ish for an elderly person and maybe a kid of 6 or under id give up my seat.

60 isn't elderly and kids grow up so fast now that 6 year olds are the new teenagers.

Xavi6

The "is she pregnant or just fat" one is where it gets tricky

Skerries

this should help that question

http://www.lolbrary.com/content/510/when-you-should-ask-a-woman-if-she-is-pregnant-46510.jpg

BizzyC

The is she/isn't she pregnant is always a problem.

At least here in London some women wear "baby on board" pins so that other tube users know, dont get that back home.

Kids can stand, if there's nothing wrong with their legs the parents can give up their seats if they want, I'm keeping mine.

whatdoicare

I'm heavily pregnant and noone has ever given up a seat for me - a woman yesterday insisted on smoking on me at the bus stop before pushing me out of the way to get onto the bus in case I managed to get that last seat but alas, it wasn't to be.
In case anyone asks the "could you have been mistaken for a fat girl etc etc" I was in fact wearing a t-shirt at the time with the word "preggers" on it in large pink letters - I made a point of wearing it for a pregnant girl meet up with friends that day and I was also laden down with bags from mothercare.

On a lighter note - my husband happened to be the bus driver that day and I got to sit on the secret fold out seat - yay!:P

corktina

being a gentleman of the old school (stop sniggering) and not far off 60 I'd give up my seat to anyone who looks like they need it more than me. Kids?no, they can sit on Mum's lap (and I can't).

It's a bit of a minefield...some Ladies would be offended if they thought you thought they were old and doddery

Peregrine

Depends on if they need it.

I'd get up for anyone who looks like they can't stand or have a child with them that's small enough.

There is no threshold that they have to reach for me to give up my seat, I don't ask their age and refuse to get up if they're 64 or say your kid is a few days too old for me to get up.

Mr. G

Xavi6 wrote: »

The "is she pregnant or just fat" one is where it gets tricky

I would still give up the seat. She could have problems going down the isle... :eek:

I give it up for elderly people but I rarely ever have to.

jennnn

Only this week, I was in a hospital waiting room with five seats. I was sitting along with two couples- both ladies heavily pregnant. Another pregnant couple arrived- neither man offered the woman their seat, so I did. :rolleyes: They didn't seem to give a cr@p that I was a patient too. Lazy idiots!

The Backwards Man

This is why I never sit down.. Far less chance of offending anybody.

P. Breathnach

A while ago I was standing on a crowded bus, and I noticed an attractive young woman looking at me as if she was appraising me. It was an ego boost that at my age young women might still consider me interesting.

Then she stood up, smiled, and offered me her seat. Clearly she had been appraising my state of decrepitude, and I qualified as decrepit in her eyes.

Menas

It is one of those feel good things, giving up your seat for someone who looks like they need it. Pregnant women, someone with an infant, elderly etc.

When my own Mrs was pregnant I honestly could not believe that she rarely got a seat on the rush hour luas. But that is human nature I suppose.

On the same subject, it does amaze me that some people will sit there with their bags or whatever on the seat beside them whilst others are standing on a bus or train.

corktina

P. Breathnach wrote: »

A while ago I was standing on a crowded bus, and I noticed an attractive young woman looking at me as if she was appraising me. It was an ego boost that at my age young women might still consider me interesting.

Then she stood up, smiled, and offered me her seat. Clearly she had been appraising my state of decrepitude, and I qualified as decrepit in her eyes.

choker eh!:(

I always think I'm young-looking and virile until I see a photo of me and have to remind myself that the camera adds 10 pounds...

candy-gal1

Very elderly and frail etc and anyone on crutches etc then yes Il give up my seat if there are none left, but for kids I wouldnt, never really heard of giving up your seat for a child over the age of a toddler.

anncoates

Late 60s upwards. Depends more on how physically able they look too. No use in offering it to somebody in their 60s who is in good shape and offending them.

I'd always give my seat to somebody with a small child or a pile of shopping as well.

Some of the stuff you see on beggars belief. On the Luas: obviously heavily pregnant woman standing beside me a while back in clear view of a load of seated people all pretending not to notice her.

duchalla

My wife is pregnant, had a scan at CUMH yesterday, (everythings goin grand :-)). Anyway, we were in early so got a seat handy enough. As the morning wore on it got busier. Anyway being the gent that I am, I offered my seat to a heavily prengnant woman, when none were available, who gratefully accepted it. I was amazed to see 8 other men sitting down in the waiting area despite pregnant women standing around waiting for a seat!
These fellas piss me off. They're obiviously there with their wives or girlfriends, so they know the score, they wouldnt like their partners standing while the lads are all sitting down playing with ther phones. Fair enough if there were other seats available, but the place was chocabloc!!
An older nurse just happened to be walking past, saw the situation, (pregnant women standing, the lads sitting), she left a roar out of her, "Jesus, Mary & Joseph, would all the men please get up and give their seats to the poor pregnant women". 8 men got up and moved sheepishly away. Cue a few smug looks from me at anyone of them who happend to look up as they past me. The 8 seats were taken by pregnant women in seconds. Some fellas havent a clue....

HurtLocker

Yah if they are are frail or pregnant I may... just may... move my bag off the seat next to me :pac:

NothingMan

I will always offer my seat to an elderly person who looks like they would appreciate it or someone on crutches or a pregnant woman. I've often done this from the inside seat with the person on the outside not even flinching. I've even offered my seat to one half of an elderly couple and the young guy next to me not budging for the other half.

One thing is older people, usually men, who are of an age that I would offer my seat but are satanding straighter and seem in better health than most. I tend to not offer them my seat as I feel it would be insulting to their health.

Toto Wolfcastle

duchalla wrote: »

My wife is pregnant, had a scan at CUMH yesterday, (everythings goin grand :-)). Anyway, we were in early so got a seat handy enough. As the morning wore on it got busier. Anyway being the gent that I am, I offered my seat to a heavily prengnant woman, when none were available, who gratefully accepted it. I was amazed to see 8 other men sitting down in the waiting area despite pregnant women standing around waiting for a seat!
These fellas piss me off. They're obiviously there with their wives or girlfriends, so they know the score, they wouldnt like their partners standing while the lads are all sitting down playing with ther phones. Fair enough if there were other seats available, but the place was chocabloc!!
An older nurse just happened to be walking past, saw the situation, (pregnant women standing, the lads sitting), she left a roar out of her, "Jesus, Mary & Joseph, would all the men please get up and give their seats to the poor pregnant women". 8 men got up and moved sheepishly away. Cue a few smug looks from me at anyone of them who happend to look up as they past me. The 8 seats were taken by pregnant women in seconds. Some fellas havent a clue....

Any of those men could have issues that mean they need to sit down though. She should have asked all the men who didn't need a seat to get up. My husband is waiting to be old enough for 2 knee replacements at the moment and if I was heavily pregnant in a packed waiting room then I'd be standing and he'd be sitting and no amount of screaming and shouting would make a difference. Obviously those who take a seat over someone who clearly needs it is an arse but it's not always obvious.

JohnMarston

An old person who struggles to walk or clearly looks like they need to sit down, a semi-heavy to heavily pregnant woman or a parent with an infant gets my seat

If you are clearly walking and standing without difficulty, then i would consider it an insult to them to offer them a seat if they didnt need it

iDave

The Big 3, Elderly, Disabled and Pregnant.
Stilettos are your own problem

Would generally give up my seat to anyone who looked like they needed it more than me, but I have back problems myself, so find it very painful to stand more than a few minutes. Not sure where I stand (no pun intended :rolleyes:) on pregnant women. Had one bark at me a while back to let her have the seat we were both going for - there were other seats. I didn't really appreciate the sense of entitlement - she chose to get pregnant, I didn't choose to have crippling back pain. Perhaps as well as 'Baby on Board' badges, they should do 'Sciatica' badges and the like.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Generally if someone looks like standing would be too much for them, frail looking.
Unless the child was a baby, I wouldn't give the seat tbh. If the child can walk and talk then it's able to stand.

I once had a woman with a young one on the luas ask me to let the child sit down. The child was about 8. I said no.

jester77

In the modern PC age I don't want to come across as ageist or sexist, so out of fear I don't give up my seat.

duchalla

Bobblehead Panda wrote: »

Any of those men could have issues that mean they need to sit down though. She should have asked all the men who didn't need a seat to get up. My husband is waiting to be old enough for 2 knee replacements at the moment and if I was heavily pregnant in a packed waiting room then I'd be standing and he'd be sitting and no amount of screaming and shouting would make a difference. Obviously those who take a seat over someone who clearly needs it is an arse but it's not always obvious.

Fair enough, but any of these guys didnt seem to have any ailment, they all hopped up fairly sharpish.

Legs.Eleven

I live in a city with an old population and I spend a lot of time travelling on public transport daily. I'm up and down like a yo-yo because of this. Old men here can get a bit stroppy when you offer them the seat as they'd be old-fashioned thinking that a woman shouldn't offer a seat to a man. I've had a few old man bite my head off on occasion, which was gas...

Anyone who looks like they're struggling at all I offer the seat. Kids can feck off tbh unless they're very young and can't balance themselves. I've seen people here offer kids seats before older people! Ehhhhh....

People who pretend they can't see someone struggling boil my piss and I usually give them the stink eye and shame them into getting up.

Oink

Legs.Eleven wrote: »

People who pretend they can't see someone struggling boil my piss and I usually give them the stink eye and shame them into getting up.

Yeah that's too subtle for me. If there's an old lady standing and a young'un sitting, I ask them nicely and firmly to offer their seat. If they don't hear because of their headphones I ask even more nicely and more firmly. It's worked so far.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Bobblehead Panda wrote: »

Any of those men could have issues that mean they need to sit down though. She should have asked all the men who didn't need a seat to get up. My husband is waiting to be old enough for 2 knee replacements at the moment and if I was heavily pregnant in a packed waiting room then I'd be standing and he'd be sitting and no amount of screaming and shouting would make a difference. Obviously those who take a seat over someone who clearly needs it is an arse but it's not always obvious.

But to be fair, attending an ante natal clinic, the patients of that clinic should have priority when it comes to those seats. If someone is not in a position to be able to stand then they shouldn't be there, tbh.

Legs.Eleven

Oink wrote: »

Yeah that's too subtle for me. If there's an old lady standing and a young'un sitting, I ask them nicely and firmly to offer their seat. If they don't hear because of their headphones I ask even more nicely and more firmly. It's worked so far.

Good in ye!

Legs.Eleven

Legs.Eleven wrote: »

I live in a city with an old population and I spend a lot of time travelling on public transport daily. I'm up and down like a yo-yo because of this. Old men here can get a bit stroppy when you offer them the seat as they'd be old-fashioned thinking that a woman shouldn't offer a seat to a man. I've had a few old man bite my head off on occasion, which was gas...

Anyone who looks like they're struggling at all I offer the seat. Kids can feck off tbh unless they're very young and can't balance themselves. I've seen people here offer kids seats before older people! Ehhhhh....

People who pretend they can't see someone struggling boil my piss and I usually give them the stink eye and shame them into getting up.

What's with offering kids seats? They're the last people who should have to sit down, unless they're ill or too young to stand properly. I spent my whole childhood standing up for adults and now I'm an adult, I'm meant to let kids sit down? Feck that.

Legs.Eleven

Julius Sparse Crown wrote: »

What's with offering kids seats? They're the last people who should have to sit down, unless they're ill or too young to stand properly. I spent my whole childhood standing up for adults and now I'm an adult, I'm meant to let kids sit down? Feck that.

Did you notice that here too? Kids are Little Royalty here and I can't buy into it at all.

tin79

duchalla wrote: »

My wife is pregnant, had a scan at CUM

Heh heh

Sorry stopped reading after that

Big C

I don't give up my seat for anyone, nobody seems to want to sit in a wheelchair for the rest of their lives ?????

Capt'n Midnight

This hot and flustered young wan gets on a bus and asked for a seat because she's pregnant.

"if you don't mind me asking, you aren't showing yet, how far are you along ?"

"oh about 15 minutes"

Jester252

Would never give up my seat to a kid. I stood as a child now they can stand
I once offered my seat to an old man and as soon as I left it this 8 year old kid had ran over and taken it. He had the biggest sh1t eating grin on him until his mum pulled him off the seat by his ear.

MurdyWurdy

The pregnant one is funny. I'm heavily pregnant now, (and very obviously so to anyone that looks at me - due in 3 weeks) and feel well enough that if I had to stand on the bus/dart I'd be grand.

However, I spent the first 4 months of my pregnancy vomiting non-stop, not eating and feeling like absolute ****. That's when I needed the seat but sure I didn't look pregnant then so I would never expect anyone to read my mind and give me a seat. Luckily I was driving myself to work so could vomit on myself in peace in the car (yes, it happened more than once) but not sure what I would have done if I'd been getting public transport the whole time.

I like the baby on board pin things they use in London but if you look not pregnant at all would people think you are taking the piss?

In New Zealand school kids are not allowed to take seats on the buses;/trains if adults are standing as they only pay half the fare - the seats are for adults and they regularly get kicked out of them by conductors/bus drivers. I hate when you get on the bus/train and every seat is taken up with kids in school uniforms who have no intention on standing up for anyone.

UnawareCaesar

Oink wrote: »

Yeah that's too subtle for me. If there's an old lady standing and a young'un sitting, I ask them nicely and firmly to offer their seat. If they don't hear because of their headphones I ask even more nicely and more firmly. It's worked so far.

Really don't get this attitude. A "young'un" could be sick, injured or any other thing but you can judge just by looking at them that they don't deserve a seat and its your job to remove them from the seat?

Up to each individual to decide themselves to get up for somebody else and most of the time they will. Just really annoys me the way some people feel that they've the right to move people on public transport because they've adjudged that they shouldn't have a seat over someone else.

livinsane

MurdyWurdy wrote: »

The pregnant one is funny. I'm heavily pregnant now, (and very obviously so to anyone that looks at me - due in 3 weeks) and feel well enough that if I had to stand on the bus/dart I'd be grand.

However, I spent the first 4 months of my pregnancy vomiting non-stop, not eating and feeling like absolute ****. That's when I needed the seat but sure I didn't look pregnant then so I would never expect anyone to read my mind and give me a seat.

I was going to post the same thing. I'm five months pregnant and would be okay standing for the half hour journey but for the first few months, I would have passed out due to low blood pressure and exhaustion! Was terrified of not getting a seat so used to walk to an earlier stop to avoid it.

Feel kinda guilty not offering old people seats now but I would normally be the first to do it.

Oh and relating to the other posts, I was also in the CUMH yesterday - 5 hours wait - and I made my partner take a seat because he had come off a 12 hour night shift. He stood up when the nurse requested men to stand but after ten minutes and still empty seats around the place, I told him to sit back down. Even at the busiest times, there were seats free that people were not taking.

anncoates

Bobblehead Panda wrote: »

Any of those men could have issues that mean they need to sit down though. She should have asked all the men who didn't need a seat to get up. My husband is waiting to be old enough for 2 knee replacements at the moment and if I was heavily pregnant in a packed waiting room then I'd be standing and he'd be sitting and no amount of screaming and shouting would make a difference. Obviously those who take a seat over someone who clearly needs it is an arse but it's not always obvious.

Kind of a silly example although I'm sure it's a genuine case.

The probability of a accompanying man having banjaxed knees is hardly higher than the probability of pregnant women in an antenatal waiting room.

BrokenArrows

I don't do it based on age. If someone looks like they need a seat then ill give up mine.

LoonyLovegood

I give up seats if I'm able to. I've been on crutches the last while, and I've seen elderly women offering me a seat - I refuse and I'll take one down the back, I'm not gonna make them give up their seats! In Dublin it was ridiculous though, I was regularly standing on the bus from town to Blanchardstown, trying to lean on the crutches to make it easier. There was once that I got offered a seat, but it was (again) by an elderly woman, so I refused and told her to sit, that I'd be grand.

Legs.Eleven

UnawareCaesar wrote: »

Really don't get this attitude. A "young'un" could be sick, injured or any other thing but you can judge just by looking at them that they don't deserve a seat and its your job to remove them from the seat?

Up to each individual to decide themselves to get up for somebody else and most of the time they will. Just really annoys me the way some people feel that they've the right to move people on public transport because they've adjudged that they shouldn't have a seat over someone else.

Yeah fair enough but I don't think people do this very often though, do they?


I'd say if you've a physical problem and need to sit down and you asked someone, most people would move. I'd be a bit more proactive about this if it were me. I'd a problem with my foot 3 years ago and couldn't stand for long, so I asked people nicely would they mind if I sat down and showed them the bandage. And when I lived in Ireland, I'd get the jam-packed Drogheda to Dublin train and would sometimes feel faint and I'd have no choice but to ask.


I think of someone is obviously having problems, you should give them a seat. It's basic manners. Everyone else needs to make it known that they're struggling.

Gongoozler

I don't get why the women in the waiting room couldn't have said something themselves. They're not ****ing invalids, if they needed a seatthey should've requested one.

john the one

whatdoicare wrote: »

I'm heavily pregnant and noone has ever given up a seat for me - a woman yesterday insisted on smoking on me at the bus stop before pushing me out of the way to get onto the bus in case I managed to get that last seat but alas, it wasn't to be.
In case anyone asks the "could you have been mistaken for a fat girl etc etc" I was in fact wearing a t-shirt at the time with the word "preggers" on it in large pink letters - I made a point of wearing it for a pregnant girl meet up with friends that day and I was also laden down with bags from mothercare.

On a lighter note - my husband happened to be the bus driver that day and I got to sit on the secret fold out seat - yay!:P

Wow, hang on here a minute,what secret fold down seat woman??

UnawareCaesar

Legs.Eleven wrote: »

Yeah fair enough but I don't think people do this very often though, do they?


I'd say if you've a physical problem and need to sit down and you asked someone, most people would move. I'd be a bit more proactive about this if it were me. I'd a problem with my foot 3 years ago and couldn't stand for long, so I asked people nicely would they mind if I sat down and showed them the bandage. And when I lived in Ireland, I'd get the jam-packed Drogheda to Dublin train and would sometimes feel faint and I'd have no choice but to ask.


I think of someone is obviously having problems, you should give them a seat. It's basic manners. Everyone else needs to make it known that they're struggling.

Its not so much getting a seat when you have a problem that I'm on about its the guilt-trippers giving you the death stare or telling you you should move for somebody else when you have a problem yourself requiring you to sit.

I just find it odd that people think they're the authority on who's the best candidate on a train/bus full of people to try force into moving for somebody else who needs a seat.

tatli_lokma

Mr. G wrote: »

I give it up for elderly people but I rarely ever have to.

Ok, so I have a juvenile sense of humour, but this gave me a right tickle!!! :P I only give it up if my husband is a good boy! lol

As for the kids thing, I too don't get it. A mother with a very young child who wouldn't be able to stand and hold the child safely is fair enough. But other than that no way would I give a child a seat, and in fact would expect the child to be told to give their seat to someone more in need. In addition, most of the buses now have areas where you wheel the pram/buggy on and you don't need to fold it, so the kid can stay in it's own buggy.

It's funny, cos in Turkey on the small local buses which are privately run minibuses, you will quite often be given a strangers baby to hold! If you get on with a small child and there are no seats, then you would literally just hand the baby to someone to sit on their knee while you stand. I have often had the honour of holding some strangers baby bestowed upon me. Personally I usually actually give them back the kid and let them have my seat - I'd rather stand than hold some stranger's baby! This is usually met with 'no no, you sit, just hold the baby'! They don't get that I would rather stand with no baby and think they are being polite to me! lol Its very funny though because as the bus fills, sometimes by the time mammy is ready to get off the bus, they have to have the baby literally passed up the bus to them, from passenger to passenger. Can't see it catching on in Dublin though!

PucaMama

Oink wrote: »

Yeah that's too subtle for me. If there's an old lady standing and a young'un sitting, I ask them nicely and firmly to offer their seat. If they don't hear because of their headphones I ask even more nicely and more firmly. It's worked so far.

i had a woman go to me in front of the whole bus and lecture me loudly on not giving up my seat (even tho she hadnt given up hers). Cue a nice quiet journey after i told her about my disability (not too obvious but believe me i feel it after standing 30 minutes waiting on a bus) and told her where to go with the same tone she spoke to me.