Do you care?

hairyprincess

I have two sisters living abroad, they live around 30 minutes from each other. I would be much closer to one than the other and would be in contact with the one I get on well with on an hourly basis almost, thanks to Viber and Whatsapp!
However one day a few weeks back I didn't hear from her for about 36 hours, despite sending her various messages, emails and phoning; she has given us reason to be concerned for her safety in the past. So this lack of contact was a very big deal. I texted the other sister and she wasn't concerned and told me I shouldn't be either for the fact that she has her husband, so if anything has happened then it's his concern.
I was completely taken aback. And I'm wondering is it just her, or are there others like this?

pwurple

I don't text or hear from anyone on an hourly basis. Seems a bit much. Give the girl some space.

Das Kitty

Jaysus. The thoughts of being in that close contact with anyone would make me itch.

Even my husband, whom I see every day, I would not want hourly contact.

I reckon your other sister might have put it a bit coldly, but she's right. If there was anything wrong you would hear from her husband.

Lia_lia

Wtf. My siblings live abroad and I contact them maybe once every 3 months.



She's a grown adult, can take care of herself. But I guess every situation is different.

Legs.Eleven

Did your other sister mean that if anything happened to her, you'd hear from your husband? If that's the case, that makes perfect sense to me....

eviltwin

Its a bit worrying when someone goes off radar out of character but she probably had her reasons. I wouldn't worry about it and I wouldn't automatically think its a cause for concern, as your other sister said she has a husband so if something wasn't right he'd be the one to know. I think hourly contact is a bit excessive, it would be for me anyway.

Chattastrophe!

Sometimes people just need a bit of space. I know that, if I wanted a bit of time to myself, it would be seriously irritating to get a load of calls and texts and emails from the same person, even when I wasn't replying. I'd feel suffocated.

It would be different, perhaps, if she lived alone, where there might be a genuine risk of something happening and no one finding her. But she's got her husband there.

To me, it seems that you totally overreacted. And it seems your other sister was correct - she was fine in the end. So maybe don't worry so much next time it happens.

username123

Was your other sister saying that your concern was misplaced, that its her husbands place to be concerned for her safety? I think anyone can be concerned for anyone, although hourly contact does seem excessive, but dropping off the radar for 36 hours seems a reasonable thing, it's not a long time.

I wouldn't be too worried, maybe just take it as a gentle reminder that your sister has a life and a husband and isn't free for continual contact via social media?

GalwayGuy2

I texted the other sister and she wasn't concerned and told me I shouldn't be either for the fact that she has her husband, so if anything has happened then it's his concern.

Strange way to phrase it :S Did she mean that if anything happened he would contact you, or whatever happened was literally his concern?

Any key?

I wish I was that close to my sisters!
Maybe your other sister said it so bluntly because she feels a little left out of your closeness and doesn't get hourly updates from you both.It might be hard for her to understand?

beks101

I have a good friend back home who I'd be in regular contact with in a similar way. We gchat back and forth all day.

However, sometimes one or the other of us will "take a break" for a few days. It's sort of unspoken between us that we're otherwise occupied or just not in the mood - too much contact can be as detrimental as too little sometimes. We'll always resume again after a few days and pick up from where we left off.

I'd say a similar thing happened with your sister. In a nutshell, life happened. She got busy or she needed space. She's human, allow her that.

I think your concern is understandable, given that she's your sister and your post suggests she's had her issues in the past. But she's an adult woman and you have to allow a bit of trust and respect, as well as space.

MugMugs

beks101 wrote: »

I have a good friend back home who I'd be in regular contact with in a similar way. We gchat back and forth all day.

However, sometimes one or the other of us will "take a break" for a few days. It's sort of unspoken between us that we're otherwise occupied or just not in the mood - too much contact can be as detrimental as too little sometimes. We'll always resume again after a few days and pick up from where we left off.

I'd say a similar thing happened with your sister. In a nutshell, life happened. She got busy or she needed space. She's human, allow her that.

I think your concern is understandable, given that she's your sister and your post suggests she's had her issues in the past. But she's an adult woman and you have to allow a bit of trust and respect, as well as space.

This sums it up nicely imo.

I've two brothers. I'd speak to one daily if not more and the other maybe weekly.

But like above, myself the other brother might take a breather for a few days (busy doing other stuff)

But we'll always take off from where we left at some stage with no issue.

She's a grown girl OP. If you message her, she'll respond when she can