Concerned by what I'm becoming

Fonzy

I used to be fit, healthy and relatively energetic. I'm a 33 y/o male and slowly but surely its getting worse and worse.

I'm 5'7 and 170lbs and thats about 15lbs more than I was 2 years ago. It might not be much but the huge problem for me is how often I've put the foot down and said thats it. My problem is not with information on how to do it.. how to do it, how to eat etc. Its with the fact that there's two me's in my head.

First me emerges when I've got up and had my porridge and I'm ready for the day. He's seen the expanding, disgusting image in the mirror and he's determined that today's the day.

The second me emerges at 5pm and would walk over his granny for a packet of crisps or a few biscuits or some white bread toast. By the time 8pm or 9pm arrives.. the original me is back in control, looking at the disaster that was eating that day and hates the other guy for it.

I know I should be exercising more. I was a long distance runner (in my head I still am) but the lethargy, tiredness and not wanting to exercise that kicks in each evening seems impossible to overcome. I have 3 young kids and God knows that should be motivation enough.

I need to fix this before it becomes a problem that a doctor has to solve as opposed to me solving it. I have a ridiculous sweet tooth and craving for crap food that I cant get over. The other 'me' is ashamed of it.

I could really do with some help or advice.
Thanks

Katgurl

Ok first off you need to calm down, you're the same person you always were, not a paedophjle or a monster, you're just a bit heavier than you were. Even movie stars and celebrities go through fat phases and it's in their job description to look good.

You said you have all the information but have you read the stickies here?

I was feeling the exact same as you a few months ago, couldn't stick with any plan, one failure after the next, my weight growing steadily all the time, couldn't seem to stop it.

I read all the stickies here and something about them really sank in, particularly the first one in nutrition 101 where he talks about forgetting the self pity, good days and bad days, being prepared. There really is all the info you need there to get motivated.

I'd also wonder why you're so in need of chocolate, white bread - guessing youre hungry so not having enough food with you.

What worked for me was forgetting about my weight, appearance, cals etc temporarily and just focusing on cleaning up my diet, eating whole foods and focusing on nutritional value instead of minimising calories. When I got on top of this the weightloss etc followed.

So my advice is:

1) read the stickies
2) post up your typical diet here and people should advise you

A lifestyle change is the most important. Any other time I've tried to diet I end up feeling deprived and giving up. I never feel deprived now, have banished the sugar cravings and my clothes all fit again. I never thought I wouldn't want cake, bread, pasta, sweets, it's not that I have more willpower but that once i balanced the cravings, i don't have any interest anymore. Sugar is an addiction like smoking, it's not so much that you have a sweet tooth - you've developed one and you can get rid of it.

MicraBoy

My advice to you, particularly since you feel you have all the info, is to just do one thing today that is different and better for you.

Go for that run (hell, go for a walk)
Skip that one bit of junk.

The next day build on the first step. You don't have to start at peak performance to make a difference.

TheBody

Fonzy wrote: »

I used to be fit, healthy and relatively energetic. I'm a 33 y/o male and slowly but surely its getting worse and worse.

I'm 5'7 and 170lbs and thats about 15lbs more than I was 2 years ago. It might not be much but the huge problem for me is how often I've put the foot down and said thats it. My problem is not with information on how to do it.. how to do it, how to eat etc. Its with the fact that there's two me's in my head.

First me emerges when I've got up and had my porridge and I'm ready for the day. He's seen the expanding, disgusting image in the mirror and he's determined that today's the day.

The second me emerges at 5pm and would walk over his granny for a packet of crisps or a few biscuits or some white bread toast. By the time 8pm or 9pm arrives.. the original me is back in control, looking at the disaster that was eating that day and hates the other guy for it.

I know I should be exercising more. I was a long distance runner (in my head I still am) but the lethargy, tiredness and not wanting to exercise that kicks in each evening seems impossible to overcome. I have 3 young kids and God knows that should be motivation enough.

I need to fix this before it becomes a problem that a doctor has to solve as opposed to me solving it. I have a ridiculous sweet tooth and craving for crap food that I cant get over. The other 'me' is ashamed of it.

I could really do with some help or advice.
Thanks

I could have wrote that whole post to describe myself!! I went for a 10k cycle today. Thought I was gonna die during it but I'm so glad I did it. Going to sign up for a hike at the end of June and use it to try get my act together.

vitani

Is running in the morning a possibility for you? It would take advantage of the time of day when your motivation seems to be strongest. And I generally find that when I run in the morning, my self esteem is high for the day and I'm less likely to undo my good work by eating crap later.

Fonzy

Thanks for all the tips. I've gone through the 101 and there's a lot there that made me think.

I'm going to start recording what I eat on the my fitness app. At least that will give me an awareness of when I've gone over. I think actually typing my OP out will help too because Im going to bookmark the post and read it when I think I'm going off the rails.

I'd love to say that I'll go for a run in the mornings but the truth is that at the moment I'm way down in the willpower scale and maybe a few little successes with the weight will give me the boost I need to prove to myself that its working.

Im going to buy a proper scales so I can hopefully check once a week on how I'm doing. I know not to do it more than that.

5k run done today anyway, even if the diet wasnt great. Its a start. Thanks again!

mossym

Fonzy wrote: »

5k run done today anyway, even if the diet wasnt great. Its a start. Thanks again!

just remember, that's 5k more than the guy who sat on the couch all day.

small steps, everyone a victory

hardCopy

Something is happening between 9am and 5pm to set you off. I'd guess you're just not having a big enough lunch. If you're hungry at the same time each day try to have healthy, filling snacks on hand when the cravings hit. Drink lots of water as well to keep your stomach full and distract from the cravings.

Eat good food to give you energy to train. Not empty sugars that cause you to peak and trough.

Vegetables, all of them. As green and as leafy as possible.

Try get to sleep properly, 8 hours and approximately the same time to bed each night. Get a routine. Building a routine is the easiest way to form good habits.

Exercise is important, but eating correctly certainly helps a lot more with any weight loss goal. Consider that a large potato "too much" per day amounts to roughly a half marathon of exercise per week.

It's certainly easier (in theory) to curb a bad eating habit than to attempt to control it by exercise. The old adage "you can't out-train a bad diet" is not fully true, but in the majority of cases is absolutely spot on.

Try to get the sugar cravings under control by taking a week or two off sugar. That means no breads, biscuits, crossaints, juices, fruits, bars, sweets etc.

Aim to replace these in your diet with fat and protein dense foods (this will help with satiety and keeping you full and the cravings at bay).

How's your cooking? Are you interested in trying new things etc?

If you can make all your own meals (from scratch, nothing you should put into any meal should be a 'product' - only an ingredient) you will have absolutely no problem shifting the excess weight.

Breaking out of your current routine and 'indiscipline' and replacing it with a healthier, more rounded approach to health and nutrition is the hardest part, but consciously acknowledging that something needs to change is the start. Kick on from there and commit to it, and in 4/5 weeks you'll not be looking back.

RobAMerc

As suggested before don't let yourself get too hungry.
I also think you might be having sugar issues, ie something is triggering sugar highs and the lows cause irresistible cravings. Have a real look at your diet and see if you can figure out what.

I read recently that having a grapefruit in the morning really helps the sugar sensitive types fight cravings

Also I would say start with going for a good work out, really fookin hard. If you think you are giving it 100% you are giving it 60%, I mean leave nothing behind you.
Then tell yourself, "I didn't work that hard just to go ruin it with junk" - keep at that for a while and before long if your attitude gets set in that way you are well on your way!
As said before it's not really the training itself that does the good work, but knowing its the penance for bad diet will cause you to clean your diet up fairly quickly !

north_star_33

yea me too...
im 5 foot 9 ....was 19 stone 2 years ago and have slowly dropped to 17 . 5 pounds .....but i still look awful and i hate looking at mirrors and also buying clothes....

Fonzy

Ok so I've been relatively good today and tried to take on the advice here. I really really appreciate it.

I live 5k from work so I cycled in and out. I only really get 2 short breaks in work.. 10 mins and 15mins ish and I have time to myself then after 3pm to work in there or at home.

Today I had porridge with super milk for breakfast.
I had just tea for the 10 minute break because I didnt think I'd need anything after breakfast at 8 but I'll bring something small in tomorrow. I think a yoghurt or something would suit because it has to be quick.

2nd break was wholemeal brennans bread x2, with sliced chicken, 1 slice of cheese and extra low fat mayo. I think I could do with adding something else to this too so I might bring in some tuna or a boiled egg to add to it.

I usually end up eating again at 3pm as my lunch tends to be split like that so Ive just finished off 2 boiled eggs and I'll work from home for the evening then.

Dinner is planned out. Mince with 2 small potatoes, carrots, peppers and a meal maker mix thats only about 100kcals.

Ive got some tuna sachets in the press so I'll go for one of them when I get the nibbles at 8 or 9.

Looking at the last month or two, theres been massive amounts of grazing biscuits during the day. Also, I had tended to have 2 slices of brown wholemeal for lunch, 2 when I got home and 2 before bed. Thats crazy.

I really prefer real butter to the spreads. Is it ok to have a third slice of toast with butter between dinner time and bed? I was also thinking of having another half bowl of porridge with honey in that slot as an alternative option.

I didnt do well on drinking water today so I need to fix that.

listermint

Fonzy wrote: »

Ok so I've been relatively good today and tried to take on the advice here. I really really appreciate it.

I live 5k from work so I cycled in and out. I only really get 2 short breaks in work.. 10 mins and 15mins ish and I have time to myself then after 3pm to work in there or at home.

Today I had porridge with super milk for breakfast.
I had just tea for the 10 minute break because I didnt think I'd need anything after breakfast at 8 but I'll bring something small in tomorrow. I think a yoghurt or something would suit because it has to be quick.

2nd break was wholemeal brennans bread x2, with sliced chicken, 1 slice of cheese and extra low fat mayo. I think I could do with adding something else to this too so I might bring in some tuna or a boiled egg to add to it.

I usually end up eating again at 3pm as my lunch tends to be split like that so Ive just finished off 2 boiled eggs and I'll work from home for the evening then.

Dinner is planned out. Mince with 2 small potatoes, carrots, peppers and a meal maker mix thats only about 100kcals.

Ive got some tuna sachets in the press so I'll go for one of them when I get the nibbles at 8 or 9.

Looking at the last month or two, theres been massive amounts of grazing biscuits during the day. Also, I had tended to have 2 slices of brown wholemeal for lunch, 2 when I got home and 2 before bed. Thats crazy.

I really prefer real butter to the spreads. Is it ok to have a third slice of toast with butter between dinner time and bed? I was also thinking of having another half bowl of porridge with honey in that slot as an alternative option.

I didnt do well on drinking water today so I need to fix that.

From reading that your diet seems all over the place. You need to plan ahead more and regularise it. I dont think you will gain anything be keeping this diet as is.

real butter is far better than spreads.

However bread is utter rubbish.

You are eating a lot of it too.

Fonzy

listermint wrote: »

From reading that your diet seems all over the place. You need to plan ahead more and regularise it. I dont think you will gain anything be keeping this diet as is.

I thought today was an improvement.. Ive tried to bring in the eggs and tuna. I have to eat when I can during the day because I can't eat on the job. Whats wrong with today's food do you mind me asking?

Deleted User wrote: »

real butter is far better than spreads.

However bread is utter rubbish.

You are eating a lot of it too.

Yeah I realise that. With only 15-20 mins at a time usually at a max to eat before 3pm, I need to eat something that resembles lunch fast. I can't adjust or extend my lunch unfortunately and eating on the go like that is part of the job really.

Stench Blossoms

Fonzy wrote: »

I thought today was an improvement.. Ive tried to bring in the eggs and tuna. I have to eat when I can during the day because I can't eat on the job. Whats wrong with today's food do you mind me asking?




Yeah I realise that. With only 15-20 mins at a time usually at a max to eat before 3pm, I need to eat something that resembles lunch fast. I can't adjust or extend my lunch unfortunately and eating on the go like that is part of the job really.

Have a pre-prepared salad?

Katgurl

I think you're making it hard on yourself. Bread always makes me hungry. You really need to strip down what you're eating, not just deny yourself.

All you really need are meat, eggs and loads of veggies (replace potatoes with sweet potatoes), use coconut oil when cooking, olive oil and balsamic for salads, real butter fine too. I wouldnt worry about portion sizes for the moment just concentrate on building your meal plans around these items. Snacks of cheese, plain nuts, seeds, fruit all in moderation, but again I would not worry too much about portion size until you have your food choices under control. Apparently greek yogurt is fine but i have yet to find the real stuff. I eat porridge oats, pulses (kidney beans lentils) about every second day, some people don't think they add anything but I find they work for me. Get rid of all, ALL the other processed stuff.

If I were you, I would buy Tupperware holders and start bringing while load of food to work to just get you out of junk food habit. I wouldn't even worry about scales for next few weeks, I'd focus on 4 weeks of developing new eating habits and then tweak it with portion sizes etc after that.

Gummy Panda

Katgurl wrote: »

I think you're making it hard on yourself. Bread always makes me hungry. You really need to strip down what you're eating, not just deny yourself.

All you really need are meat, eggs and loads of veggies (replace potatoes with sweet potatoes), use coconut oil when cooking, olive oil and balsamic for salads, real butter fine too. I wouldnt worry about portion sizes for the moment just concentrate on building your meal plans around these items. Snacks of cheese, plain nuts, seeds, fruit all in moderation, but again I would not worry too much about portion size until you have your food choices under control. Apparently greek yogurt is fine but i have yet to find the real stuff. I eat porridge oats, pulses (kidney beans lentils) about every second day, some people don't think they add anything but I find they work for me. Get rid of all, ALL the other processed stuff.

If I were you, I would buy Tupperware holders and start bringing while load of food to work to just get you out of junk food habit. I wouldn't even worry about scales for next few weeks, I'd focus on 4 weeks of developing new eating habits and then tweak it with portion sizes etc after that.

HERESY!

Fonzy

Fonzy wrote: »

I thought today was an improvement.. Ive tried to bring in the eggs and tuna. I have to eat when I can during the day because I can't eat on the job. Whats wrong with today's food do you mind me asking?




Yeah I realise that. With only 15-20 mins at a time usually at a max to eat before 3pm, I need to eat something that resembles lunch fast. I can't adjust or extend my lunch unfortunately and eating on the go like that is part of the job really.

I'm the same, I eat at my desk.

I've just cooked dinner for tonight, two portions. One is for now, one goes in a lunchbox and is eaten for lunch tomorrow.

It takes about 1minute extra a day to prep the extra few pieces of cabbage / brocolli / kale / cauliflower / spinach / peppers/ asparagus and a good big portion of meat, but it means I don't need bread.

Fonzy

Just to update you all considering you took the time to help! I'm down to 163 this morning. Ive reduced my bread intake from about 35 slices a week to 4 or 5 max. Ive starting drinking more water and running again about 3 times a week. Im loading up on things like tuna and boiled eggs, salad leaves, sweet peppers, chicken etc during the day, and just having a proper dinner then at night. Im having porridge every morning with an apple or grapes thrown in around mid morning.

Im feeling a lot better about it and starting to see the results!

Fonzy

Hi all, just to update and ask a few questions! (again!)

I managed to get down to 160 and then joined the gym in June. Since July I've been going regularly. Ive kept up the running, doing around 30-40 mins at least twice a week and then going to the gym around twice a week too for mainly a general scoot around the weights. (I got a program that I follow).

However.. My weight is stuck. As soon as I started in the gym I noticed I had a huge appetite every night, even though I'm still eating porridge every morning and trying to eat healthily during the day. Im still at 163 but I feel a lot fitter and running is much easier. I had hoped the weight would fall a lot faster though.

Today in the gym I couldnt even manage the treadmill for 15 mins and instead of 4 sets, I only managed 2. I felt wrecked! Hopefully everyone gets days where the gym just doesnt work!?

I'll keep at it and hope for the best!

runawaybishop

Fonzy wrote: »

Hi all, just to update and ask a few questions! (again!)

I managed to get down to 160 and then joined the gym in June. Since July I've been going regularly. Ive kept up the running, doing around 30-40 mins at least twice a week and then going to the gym around twice a week too for mainly a general scoot around the weights. (I got a program that I follow).

However.. My weight is stuck. As soon as I started in the gym I noticed I had a huge appetite every night, even though I'm still eating porridge every morning and trying to eat healthily during the day. Im still at 163 but I feel a lot fitter and running is much easier. I had hoped the weight would fall a lot faster though.

Today in the gym I couldnt even manage the treadmill for 15 mins and instead of 4 sets, I only managed 2. I felt wrecked! Hopefully everyone gets days where the gym just doesnt work!?

I'll keep at it and hope for the best!

If you are lifting heavy you might find your weight goes up (its water first and muscle later) but dont stress about it -you should find that while your weight might not drop as much/increase slightly your clothes fit a lot better.

Everyone has rough days occasionally, how is your macro intake now? Are you getting enough protein etc

edit: dropping 5kg is good going btw.

RobAMerc

Fonzy wrote: »

Hi all, just to update and ask a few questions! (again!)

I managed to get down to 160 and then joined the gym in June. Since July I've been going regularly. Ive kept up the running, doing around 30-40 mins at least twice a week and then going to the gym around twice a week too for mainly a general scoot around the weights. (I got a program that I follow).

However.. My weight is stuck. As soon as I started in the gym I noticed I had a huge appetite every night, even though I'm still eating porridge every morning and trying to eat healthily during the day. Im still at 163 but I feel a lot fitter and running is much easier. I had hoped the weight would fall a lot faster though.

Today in the gym I couldnt even manage the treadmill for 15 mins and instead of 4 sets, I only managed 2. I felt wrecked! Hopefully everyone gets days where the gym just doesnt work!?

I'll keep at it and hope for the best!

Well done fonzy on getting fitter at least.
As for the weight loss...
Do you feel / look trimmer ? Do your clothes fit differently ?
You may be adding muscle and therefore not losing lbs on the scale.

Lastly I would say, you need to track your calories for weight loss.
I see you have changed your diet for the better but eating too much of the right stuff is still eating too much. Tracking what goes in vs what goes out will give you a pointer in the right direction if you aren't seeing it on the scales.

Fonzy

Thanks for the tips again. I had a good think about it again this morning and maybe I'm thinking I'm doing better than I am. I certainly am exercising a lot more and the fitness is certainly improving. I ran 12k today in just over an hour so the stamina is improving.

But.. I think when I look at the list of what I'm eating, theres probably still too much stuff sneaking through thats not ideal. If I was maintaining my weight, there'd be no bother but I need to work harder on what was suggested there and record what I'm eating more to be more aware of it, and if I'm going out for lunch with friends etc, I can go to the gym or run that day knowing I need to work hard for X time to even the day back out.

Im not sure that my shape or look is changing at all really because I'm only getting to the gym a few times a week for 45 mins or so. I'll stick at it anyway. I feel better and I suppose thats the main thing.

Could probably do with humbly asking the mods to change the title of this. I suppose its a good thing that even though I'm not seeing the changes on the scale as much as I'd like, I am making progress and I am seeing it on the running/fitness log and I feel less lazy.