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05-05-2013 12:20pm#1Hi all ! I'm just reaching out to get people's opinions on my issue ! I've been talking to this guy since January. We met on an app linking in with Facebook called tinder ! There really is some interesting characters on that but I stumbled across this guy and we got chatting ! Swapped phone numbers and have been talking since. He is a lovely, genuine, down to earth guy with a great sense of humour ! Makes me laugh when I need to and lets me rant when I need to blow off steam ! The problem is he works alot and lives 2.5 hours away ! I have a strong feeling that he's into me like I'm into him but I think he's a bit too shy to take the first step ! What do I do ?
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I love I hear of relationships that work out by meeting online so thanks !! 😊 I am most definitely willing to try and I get the feeling he is too but yet again he's shy and won't say it ! Was your family and friends sceptical of you meeting someone online ?
I didn't tell my family initially because in the country, the internet is still a bit scary
my friends in college were very supportive, they helped me break the ice with him and hung out with us at first until I felt safe enough to be alone with him. Some friends were a bit weird about how we met, but it never bothered me. Some people still laugh when I tell them how we met but its certainly a more interesting story then 'I slept with him after the nightclub and he actually called the next day'! 0 -
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boomkatalog wrote: »I didn't tell my family initially because in the country, the internet is still a bit scary my friends in college were very supportive, they helped me break the ice with him and hung out with us at first until I felt safe enough to be alone with him. Some friends were a bit weird about how we met, but it never bothered me. Some people still laugh when I tell them how we met but its certainly a more interesting story then 'I slept with him after the nightclub and he actually called the next day'!
My dad is the only one who doesnt know but I didn't actually tell the rest of my family my brother seen out conversations and told them my best friend is the only one who knows about him and even she doesnt know the full story and I don't really want to tell anyone else until I have something to tell them if you understand me ? It definitely makes for an interesting conversation alright, something different anyway ! 0 -
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I could met him in my local town and then see how things go ? If he comes down he'll more than likely stay over, depending on things going well
Is your house near to neighbours houses? Meet him in a public place as someone already said. I hope it goes well for you but no matter what he's a stranger for now.0 -
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dellas1979 wrote: »What ages are ye.
You sound very young. Is he around the same age?
I'm 21 and he's 20 soon to be 21 aswell ! 0 -
I'm going to guess with her username she's 21.
I wouldn't have a first date come to my house and as a lad some things would always be on my mind if I did have a first date coming to my house.
Meet him somewhere local for a chat and coffee/lunch etc and get to know him. Or somewhere in the middle. He could become very possessive/stalker and if the first date doesn't work out and the last thing you want him knowing is where you live if he is.
Definitely agree to meet up. If you have been chatting for a good while, it won't even feel like some of those awkward first dates. And what's the worst that'll happen? You don't get on? Fair enough. At least you won't be wondering 20 years down the line what if?
He knows where I stand regarding thinks on a lads mind lol ! I am aware that bringing someone to your house without ever meeting them might not be a good idea hence the post ! He's super shy, do I take the lead and suggest it first ? If this works out it will be my first relationship so I'm hoping it will work out 0 -
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Meauldsegosha wrote: »The simple answer is no. Always meet someone you don't know in a public place. Meet him before the weekend and if everything goes well then invite him for the weekend. The changes are he is fine but remember it is very easy to hide behind a computer, you really don't know this person until you meet him.
Very true..When we are going to meet up, I'm going to suggest to meet halfway or else he can come to my hometown to meet and then take things from there
would love to meet him and then for him to stay in my place if things go to plan ? 0 -
He knows where I stand regarding thinks on a lads mind lol ! I am aware that bringing someone to your house without ever meeting them might not be a good idea hence the post ! He's super shy, do I take the lead and suggest it first ? If this works out it will be my first relationship so I'm hoping it will work out
If he hasn't asked I'd ask. Sure what do you have to lose at the end of the day.
Which would you prefer? He doesn't ask, you don't either and a months time you stop talking to each other.
Or you ask you end up getting into a relationship and who knows where that may go...you may regret 20 years down the line not asking but then you might not.
If you don't ask you'll always have the what if? Hanging over your head.
I made the mistake of not asking at 16. It took me 2 years before I had the chance of asking again. 3 years later I'm happy I did!:)0 -
Very true..When we are going to meet up, I'm going to suggest to meet halfway or else he can come to my hometown to meet and then take things from there would love to meet him and then for him to stay in my place if things go to plan ?
Don't have him stay in your place if things go to plan! You have to make us work for that kinda thing.0 -
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Eh no OP!!!
Do not tell him he can stay in your house. Have you spoken to him on webcam or is it all mails? What about phone calls? Anyway if you meet him and he turns your stomach (you don't know!) you don't want to have committed in advance to letting him stay.
I think you shoul suggest he comes for day round trip or stays in b&b. You can always change your mind if it's going well. Seriously I think you would be mad to tell someone youve never met that they can stay in your house.
It's all texting and they're have been a few phone calls but only when I'm extremely drunk !!
Well I do know what he looks like and I do know his personality so don't think he'll turn my stomach ! A b&b sounds like a good idea and considering there is one close by is better again 0 -
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I appreciate
your advice !! It's true that you really don't know a person until
you've met them but in a weird way it feels like we have met ! I know it
sounds strange but I feel like I've known him longer than I actually
have !
The reason for that is because you can be more open through messages than you would generally be if you met the guy in person for the first time, you're behind a screen so there's no embarrassment if you say something you wouldn't normally say.
I've met plenty of people online, friends and boyfriends, and honestly I'd never let them stay over on the first night. Much as you know them online, you don't know them in person. Anyone who has met me in person will say I'm completely different in person to how I am online, even though I think I'm the same.
Aside from that, you seem to be hoping for a relationship with this guy. If you are, take it slowly, it's your first one. Enjoy each step instead of rushing through them all in one date! 0 -
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The reason for that is because you can be more open through messages than you would generally be if you met the guy in person for the first time, you're behind a screen so there's no embarrassment if you say something you wouldn't normally say.
I've met plenty of people online, friends and boyfriends, and honestly I'd never let them stay over on the first night. Much as you know them online, you don't know them in person. Anyone who has met me in person will say I'm completely different in person to how I am online, even though I think I'm the same.
Aside from that, you seem to be hoping for a relationship with this guy. If you are, take it slowly, it's your first one. Enjoy each step instead of rushing through them all in one date!
As I've said in previous posts, I am hoping for a relationship with him ! By letting him stay I'm not letting him stay for any reason other than for us to get to know each other, no other reason at all ! He knows that if a relationship is something we are going to do, he knows I want to take things easy & not rush ahead !0 -
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It's not about sex, really. If you want to sleep with him on the first date I wouldn't judge you for that, it's not like i haven't done it myself.
It's genuinely just the safety aspect. What I mean about taking each step slowly is more that when you want a relationship, generally you don't have the guy stay over at first, you take it a bit slower, keep an air of mystery and all that. I'd never let a bloke see me in my pjs or without make up on a first date because I want to give the very best impression possible on a first date.
Since your folks go away every weekend, ye have loads of time for staying over and getting to know each other better.0 -
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It's not about sex, really. If you want to sleep with him on the first date I wouldn't judge you for that, it's not like i haven't done it myself.
It's genuinely just the safety aspect. What I mean about taking each step slowly is more that when you want a relationship, generally you don't have the guy stay over at first, you take it a bit slower, keep an air of mystery and all that. I'd never let a bloke see me in my pjs or without make up on a first date because I want to give the very best impression possible on a first date.
Since your folks go away every weekend, ye have loads of time for staying over and getting to know each other better.
An air of mystery sounds like a good plan, I've never heard of things going wrong but taking things easy anyway ! if he's interested in me like I'm interested in him he'll want to stick around and get to know me 0 -
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ShaShaBear wrote: »Be oh so very careful. If you have not physically seen him, then of course you don't know what he looks like - whether you have seen pictures or not! I suggest a coffee Skype date or two leading up to when he is meant to come visit. Then, if you are confident that he appeals to you as he speaks (you like the way he looks, and he sounds honest) you can arrange to meet him. I definitely would ABSOLUTELY NOT take him back to your house, no matter how well things go! He is still a complete stranger, and once you find yourself in the countryside alone with him, things could change completely. As one poster said, though dramatic it sounds, worst case scenario he could be very, very dangerous, and your suggested arrangement could be disastrous! If you absolutely feel you want him to stay, suggest a B&B and if things go very well, spend the night with him there, in a public and monitered place where you can feel safe.
I've changed my mind as regards him staying, if he's interested enough he'll be happy to go on a few dates before things progress to staying over in each others houses I'm not saying that I think he's dangerous but there is creepy people out there so a public place is best, somewhere were its safe and there's people around ! 0 -
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