Elderly Parents - care

Inspector Dhar

Hi. Could anybody direct me where to turn. Parents both in their 80's, both very challenged mobility wise. 24 hour care is currently being provided by one of the dedicated companies, but this is costing in the region of €1,800 a week, which is totally unsustainable. Ideally would love source direct home help - (ideally 2 helpers, who would job-share) but I have no idea where to start looking. Any ideas? Raheny area...

The Hill Billy

Hi OP - I expect that you will get a more informed response to your query in this forum.

Moved from Dublin City.

tHB

Catkins407

Not in Dublin but I'm sure that if you advertised privately for people you would have no bother getting qualified people . Home help hours from the state have been cut to ribbons and are hard to get but if you wanted to go down that route you would start with your patents public health nurse I'd say. You could ask any of the charities that provide care or respite if they could recommend someone for you.

Frito

Was thinking along same lines as Catkin. You could approach any of the existing carers if you felt they were suitable, but that would mean poaching staff from the company! Failing that you would have to advertise privately and perhaps age action.ie or the carers association might have some advice on privately hiring carers.

Inspector Dhar

Thanks guys. Yup- the HSE have acknowledged that the folks are in dire need of care, but we have to wait for somebody already in receipt of home-care hours to die, so we can avail of their 'recycled' hours. Its ghastly.
I was sort of hoping that somebody would be able to point me in the direction of, perhaps, a contact in the Philippino community here, or another ethnic group, who are known for their caring.

By the way, a Geratrician I spoke to recently informed me that I was part of the 'squeezed generation'. Late forties- dependant kids - dependant parents. We are being squeezed from both sides. An accurate description, I thought!:rolleyes:

Catkins407

Inspector Dhar wrote: »

Thanks guys. Yup- the HSE have acknowledged that the folks are in dire need of care, but we have to wait for somebody already in receipt of home-care hours to die, so we can avail of their 'recycled' hours. Its ghastly.
I was sort of hoping that somebody would be able to point me in the direction of, perhaps, a contact in the Philippino community here, or another ethnic group, who are known for their caring.

By the way, a Geratrician I spoke to recently informed me that I was part of the 'squeezed generation'. Late forties- dependant kids - dependant parents. We are being squeezed from both sides. An accurate description, I thought!:rolleyes:

Yeah I am in the much the same position as you with my elderly father. I already care for my disable teenager so had to give up work last year as looking after both and my sons medical needs escalating and my fathers brain bleed was just too much.n

I am trying to do it alone but have to navigate the mire of family politics . All of whom want to talk a lot but actually do nothing.

Regrading getting cares from specific communities I would suggest you try local nursing homes who tend to employ a lot of these people for the reasons you suggest. There was one very kind and gentle man who look after my mother and always kept me in the loop when her care in the home was slipping any bit at all.

Anyway they often have to make people redundant or employ people with family members who are looking for work too so may be able to help. Another good resource is church groups. Loads of them are devout Catholics and you could up a note in a church bulletin board.

I can't afford to pay for outside care for my father and my siblings won't stump up any either. I couldn't even try to claim carers for him as there would be uproar in the family even though I am washing him cutting his nails hair cooking meals doing laundry and cleaning his home and looking after his bills and banking.

janmaree

I couldn't even try to claim carers for him as there would be uproar in the family even though I am washing him cutting his nails hair cooking meals doing laundry and cleaning his home and looking after his bills and banking.

Please forgive me for sticking my oar in here but if you are the one providing hands on care to your father, why on earth would anyone in your family cause an uproar? If they all just talk a lot and do nothing, then it's hardly anything to do with them - unless someone is desperate to change places with you and get their own hands dirty for a change.

I cared full-time, 24/7 for my Dad when my Mum died and continued to work full-time from my home office without any help at all. Admittedly, my brothers kept on top of the garden but everything else fell to me. 2.5 years later I was ready for the funny farm so we bought in 2 hrs per day of personal care for Dad so someone else showered and dressed him and changed the bed and then helped him to bed in the evening. That was cut back to 1 hour per day by Dad because he was feeling better but all it really meant was that he saved half the charge and I picked up the evening shift!!! As I was working full-time, I wasn't entitled to carer's allowance but then, lo and behold, the business I worked for folded and I could then apply. It's not going to make anyone rich but when it's your only income, it's vitally important. From what you say, it seems to me that you should get the allowance for caring for two people, I'm not overly familiar with the details but a quick call or visit to Citizen's Information should put you on the right path. And unless you know of some legitimate reason why your family SHOULD object, I think you should suggest sex and travel to them; if they WON'T help and they WON'T pay and you HAVE to do it all, it's simply none of their business. I seriously suggest that you go ahead and apply, it may be the only real help that you can get and on the face of it, you certainly deserve it.

Sorry, I'm still mad about your family objecting; if they don't help then it's not as if they can claim it for themselves so it has nothing to do with them. It's about you. So, imho, you should do it because you're going to be waiting long enough as it is. Good luck to you.

P.S. I'm sounding cross here and I'm sorry for that but I'm angry on your behalf; I know when my own allowance came through, some of the family said it was alright with them that I got this payment and I had to zip it before I said anything I'd regret. Because it had nothing to do with them either!!! I hope you'll do it and let us know how you get on. Best of luck.

Inspector Dhar

'Sex and travel'.... I love it!

Joey the lips

I would not do private home help.mi would go through an agency or the local health centre. Alter have ou considered putting them in a caring home