In America 1 in 3 women will be sexually assualted in her lifetime

kiffer

shopaholic01 wrote: »

What would the numbers be for women groping men?

Not high enough! Rable Rable...
but seriously the thing I hate is when women come up behind me and run their hands through my hair to "feel how soft it is"... I don't think I've been groped as such though I was informed one night that the girls behind me were pantomiming grabbing my bum.
And one night I was chatting to the girl on the door of a club and she asked if she could touch my chest but thay doesn't count as she asked...

I can think of a small number incidents in work of "touching that I didnt like", not gropeing but I'm not to happy with touching or being touched in general and you can't really advertise that a head of time... I just grin and bare what appears to be normal levels of touching for other people.

kiffer

kiffer wrote: »

I can think of a small number incidents in work of "touching that I didnt like", not gropeing but I'm not to happy with touching or being touched in general and you can't really advertise that a head of time... I just grin and bare what appears to be normal levels of touching for other people.

If you're not happy with it, then it's not a normal level of touching, it's an intrusion.

jaffacakesyum

kiffer wrote: »

... that would be good.
Why would better more accurate stats be a case of "sadly"? The sad part is that the will still be wrong because of the low report rate...
I'd also like to see the stats broken down by type of rape... but there is a danger there that we'd run into the "legitimate" rape asshattery from some people... though at least we'd get a clearer picture of what's going on as well as identifying the asshats.

Sadly, because it would leave out sexual assault victims. A friend of mine was drugged (her drink was spiked- she doesn't drink alcohol) and led astray by a man outside a sports club event when she was 15. CCTV showed him groping her body, hands down her jeans, trying to kiss her. She was found when the man tried to get her in a taxi home, presumably to have sex with her which would have been rape. This incident can be deemed sexual assault as he did not rape her (maybe there was digital rape or oral rape I don't know the details). She would be excluded from statistics. And no guesses as to whether this man was convicted or not...

Or, maybe she would be included with the current figures of sexual assault but would be passed off as 'ah sure most of those statistics are probably just a pinch on the bum as a guy is passing to get to the bar of a club'. But this wasn't.

I agree there are varying degrees of sexual assault. Getting your ass and tits groped in a club is different to what my friend experienced. There is a huge difference. They're both events of unwanted touching and groping and should be deemed sexual assault. One is mild, one is much more severe.

And yes, female on male groping in clubs/hen parties is sexual assault too.

Also agree about the sad part of unreported rapes, and of course unconvicted rapes.

Doublelime wrote: »

Women just want attention that's why they say they got assaulted

Sadly, this chap probably isn't a troll.

Madam_X

Doublelime wrote: »

Women just want attention that's why they say they got assaulted

You just want attention that's why you post like a dick

eireannBEAR

kiffer wrote: »

Not high enough! Rable Rable...
but seriously the thing I hate is when women come up behind me and run their hands through my hair to "feel how soft it is"... I don't think I've been groped as such though I was informed one night that the girls behind me were pantomiming grabbing my bum.
And one night I was chatting to the girl on the door of a club and she asked if she could touch my chest but thay doesn't count as she asked...

I can think of a small number incidents in work of "touching that I didnt like", not gropeing but I'm not to happy with touching or being touched in general and you can't really advertise that a head of time... I just grin and bare what appears to be normal levels of touching for other people.

all i can say is i never groped a women but i have been groped by 10+ females so that must mean at least 100% of women abuse men lol well it does if we go by these statistics.

Madam_X

Madam_X wrote: »

You just want attention that's why you post like a dick

Well put

eireannBEAR wrote: »

all i can say is i never groped a women but i have been groped by 10+ females so that must mean at least 100% of women abuse men lol well it does if we go by these statistics.

Your grasp of stats needs work.

eireannBEAR

Candie wrote: »

Your grasp of stats needs work.

are you serious...lol

woodoo

abdul 1995 wrote: »

to make things clear although im muslim im not speaking from a religious point of view and ive been in ireland for past 14 years just so people dont think hes one of them guys, im speaking from what i personally saw and what i deduced.
a girl in a mini skirt is inviting men around her to sexually harras her wether verbally or physically compared to a girl more appropriately dressed for example,im not telling girls what to dress like personally i rather see a girl in a mini skirt but were talking about rape here right? so we can safely say it increases chances of bieng raped,now lets say this girl is at a bar at 1 am does and shes drunk and all men around her are also drunk doesnt that increase chances even more?.
now i am of arabic origin but even though i havent set foot on arabic soil in like 5 years i feel inclined to stand up for them, tell me the ranking of the irst arabic country here : http://www.nationmaster.com/graph/cri_rap-crime-rapes

That attitude might be fine where you came from but not here. I suggest you go home to that country.

Stereomaniac

As someone who is very touchy (physically AND emotionally, as it happens), I have to know my boundaries with people. It is common sense. I will always hug people and throw my arms around them, once we become acquainted. But common decency and respect dictates that if someone does not like that, then I don't engage in it with them. It seems so simple when written.

hatrickpatrick

I've said this before, to great controversy, but I'll continue to say it whenever these statistics come up.

1: Genuine rape and sexual assault are, I think most would agree, the absolute worst crimes with the possible exceptions of murder or torture.

2: The reason these stats, and this entire debate, causes so much controversy is that the definition of sexual assault is far too massively broad and includes a lot of extremely dubious "crimes" such as consensual sex between minors, sex when two people are drunk, etc, which automatically place the burden of responsibility on the man and, if anything goes wrong, absolve the woman of all responsibility.

3: If the latter was not the case, these statistics would probably be a lot lower AND there wouldn't be such huge controversy surrounding the entire subject of sexual assault.

I mean come on, ask yourself if you'd really find these threads as inflammatory as you do now, if you knew for a fact that these statistics were limited to actual non consensual sexual acts, and did not include the above very dubious definitions of assault? I know I wouldn't. When I see a title such as this, my immediate mental reaction is "How many of those were actual non consensual incidents and how many of them included drunken, underage, etc incidents?"

It's in everyone's best interest - no one more so than victims of genuine abuse - that these definitions be clarified and a lot of the radical nonsense be removed from them. Otherwise I think you'll find every such discussion marred by a debate over what actually counts as sexual assault and how that's represented in the statistics being discussed.

the_syco

IzzyWizzy wrote: »

Your ignorance is astounding.

When the survey puts ass-grabbing and rape in the same column, I tend to question their agenda, and how they report their results. It also belittles those who get assaulted in a serious manner!

Also, as most men don't report sexual abuse or get told to "man up" if they confide in friends of abuse, the stats will not be very accurate.

Lou.m wrote: »

And the stats of male rape in prisons are very alarming.

Considering rape is often more about power, if you confine lots of male rapists into a small space, it's obvious they'll continue to rape.

abdul 1995 wrote: »

how is it stopped, i dont think it can, a culture that encourages girls to go out in mini-skirts is gonna have a high rape statistic don you think

Sounds like a prehistoric religion based view. Next you'll be saying we can't draw pictures of random gods...

up for anything wrote: »

There is a big difference between ending up drunk and voluntarily 'riding a friend' and ending up incapacitated by alcohol and discovering 'a friend' has taken advantage of your comatose state

Once one is not classes as rape, but they both are.

stoneill

kiffer wrote: »

Not high enough! Rable Rable...
but seriously the thing I hate is when women come up behind me and run their hands through my hair to "feel how soft it is"... I don't think I've been groped as such though I was informed one night that the girls behind me were pantomiming grabbing my bum.
And one night I was chatting to the girl on the door of a club and she asked if she could touch my chest but thay doesn't count as she asked...

I can think of a small number incidents in work of "touching that I didnt like", not gropeing but I'm not to happy with touching or being touched in general and you can't really advertise that a head of time... I just grin and bare what appears to be normal levels of touching for other people.

Liar! None of this happened, you just saw it in a film.

Tigger

The stas for rape in sweeden are strange
54 rapes per 100,000 per year gives a 0.054% chance of rape per woman per year
Assuming the woman lives 80
Years then the chance of rape is 0.054 x 80 or 4.3%
This is one in 18 ish which is very high and inexcusable but not 1 in 4

The sexual assault thing is different and should be graded
Ie a class 1,2,3 level of sexual assault
With a 4 being in appropriate groping etc

Steve O

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MzDK70zO-Eo

April O Neill

eireannBEAR wrote: »

iv been sexually assaulted by women numerous times and im a man,playful physical contact should not be deemed assault,i have had women grab my privates hit my ass [a lot] and touch me with out my permission yet if i did this to a woman i would be in prison as a sex offender

Was watching the Graham Norton show the other night, and on it Gwyneth Paltrow properly fondled Lee Mack's balls (through his trousers). :eek: Can you imagine if he had grabbed her fanny? Ms. Paltrow wouldn't be too impressed methinks.

up for anything

NIMAN wrote: »

But 1-in-73 doesn't sound as good.

1 in 73 sounds plenty good if by good you mean bad.

the_syco wrote: »

Once one is not classes as rape, but they both are.

That's a difficult one. It's up to a judge and jury to decide which is date rape and which is a change of mind after the event.


Being a teen of the 70s when it was looked on more kindly, I was a victim of tits, ass and crotch groping in social settings. If you made a fuss you were regarded as being that most dreaded of beings, a feminist, or a a bad sport. It certainly doesn't equate to the horror of a full rape or sexual assault but it wasn't a walk in the park and did leave feelings of helplessness and the regret of not having felt strong enough many times to slap someone down either physically or verbally. While the pendulum may have swung too far the other way it is preferable to the way things were.

Madam_X

up for anything wrote: »

Being a teen of the 70s when it was looked on more kindly, I was a victim of tits, ass and crotch groping in social settings. If you made a fuss you were regarded as being that most dreaded of beings, a feminist, or a a bad sport.

Aye. Look at the Savile revelations - it seems it was more acceptable back then.

seenitall

April O Neill wrote: »

Was watching the Graham Norton show the other night, and on it Gwyneth Paltrow properly fondled Lee Mack's balls (through his trousers). :eek: Can you imagine if he had grabbed her fanny? Ms. Paltrow wouldn't be too impressed methinks.

Say WHA??

She did it at his invitation. She didn't just up and grabbed him by the balls. No assault.

up for anything

Madam_X wrote: »

Aye. Look at the Savile revelations - it seems it was more acceptable back then.

Yes, it was seen as acceptable even though it was completely unwanted and unlooked for. The people as objects culture.

April O Neill

seenitall wrote: »

Say WHA??

She did it at his invitation. She didn't just up and grabbed him by the balls. No assault.

Of course she didn't just go up and grab him by the balls. She went for it far more than she should have, IMO. Hence me saying "properly fondled". He was clearly a bit taken aback. Can't imagine Mrs. Mack was too pleased either.

IzzyWizzy

the_syco wrote: »

When the survey puts ass-grabbing and rape in the same column, I tend to question their agenda, and how they report their results. It also belittles those who get assaulted in a serious manner!

How does it 'belittle' anything? There are different categories of sexual assault. You can most certainly have a horrendous experience without actually being raped. I was molested in the middle of a crowd at a public event a few years back by several men who groped me, kissed me on the face, etc. I'm sure they would have gone further if they could. Are you really going to try to tell me that was nothing because it was 'just' touching? I'm well aware it's not as bad as rape, but it certainly was sexual assault.

Anynama141

abdul 1995 wrote: »

thousands of women have been raped during arab springs that is true, try not to quote newspapers and tabloids but actuall studies please

This went on before and after the Arab Spring, and it goes on in Arab and Muslim countries with no political upheaval.

I'm not sure why a political revolution excuses mass rape/sexual harrassment though?

Galwayguy35

It's not taken as seroiusly when women grab men by the balls or ass in a pub/nightclub (happened to me in a nightclub years ago), people will deny this but it's true.

If a man gropes a woman he he is grabbed by the bouncers and eats the pavement, vice versa nothing is done.

Anynama141

abdul 1995 wrote: »

now i am of arabic origin but even though i havent set foot on arabic soil in like 5 years i feel inclined to stand up for them, tell me the ranking of the irst arabic country here : http://www.nationmaster.com/graph/cri_rap-crime-rapes

Statistics about rape from Arabic/Islamic countries are a total joke - why would you report a rape in country where YOU go to jail for having sex out of marriage? Don't rapes have to be witness by FOUR MEN or some other bullsh!t liket that under Sharia law?

What I don't understand is why Muslim people are coming to Europe in droves if everything is so great in North Africa and other Muslim areas. You don't see many Europeans going in the other direction.

Three Seasons

Where is the line drawn between sexual assault and non sexual assault?

Is a kiss on the cheek sexual for example? Plenty of people kiss their children on the cheek so in that particular example it is not sexual.

seenitall

April O Neill wrote: »

Of course she didn't just go up and grab him by the balls. She went for it far more than she should have, IMO. Hence me saying "properly fondled". He was clearly a bit taken aback. Can't imagine Mrs. Mack was too pleased either.

Er, he was clearly NOT taken aback one bit. He actually seems to enjoy her attention. (Not to mention that these sort of things are usually pre-scripted anyway.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IPa9lYSFuyc

(at 14:41)

Mrs. Mack can, I imagine, address her potential displeasure with the person it should be directed at, her husband.

April O Neill

seenitall wrote: »

Er, he was clearly NOT taken aback one bit. He actually seems to enjoy her attention. (Not to mention that these sort of things are usually pre-scripted anyway.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IPa9lYSFuyc

(at 14:41)

Mrs. Mack can, I imagine, address her potential displeasure with the person it should be directed at, her husband.

I saw it, I don't need to watch it again.

Anyway, I'm not going to go back and forth on the matter, apart from to say that if the genders were reversed, it most definitely would NOT be considered OK, even if encouraged.

seenitall

April O Neill wrote: »

I saw it, I don't need to watch it again.

Sorry about the misunderstanding, I haven't linked for your benefit.

Edit: If the genders were reversed, it wouldn't have happened, because culturally sexual initiating on women is considered more sensitively than that on men. Due to the discrepancy in the physical strength between the sexes.

kiffer

eireannBEAR wrote: »

all i can say is i never groped a women but i have been groped by 10+ females so that must mean at least 100% of women abuse men lol well it does if we go by these statistics.

Thinly veiled "I'm really attractive" post?

Miss Lockhart

Galwayguy35 wrote: »

It's not taken as seroiusly when women grab men by the balls or ass in a pub/nightclub (happened to me in a nightclub years ago), people will deny this but it's true.

If a man gropes a woman he he is grabbed by the bouncers and eats the pavement, vice versa nothing is done.

Almost every single night out since I was 16 at least one of the women in my group has been groped or molested (I'm not including pinching or slapping bums in this category). Not once has the culprit been thrown out. The usual response is being told to chill out or relax.

On the wider subject of the topic I would like to see further breakdown of sexual assault into different categories.

Of the women I know well (friends and family) it works out at just over 1in 6 have been raped, that I'm aware of. Two scenarios that have happened in more than one case are waking up to someone raping them and being raped by a partner after refusing sex.