What's the oddest Spam email you're received?

gramar

I've been getting some odd Spam emails for the last week or so that just make no sense. A few examples are below:

Elbert Medrano 'sent' me an email titled 'your aunts been mighty uneasy'
which read:

'CHAPTER XXXI, Not much.
They hadnt stirred'

From Frances Salinas I got one that read

'So on we prowled again, I couldnt, somehow, for thinking.
Yes, a dukes different.'

Orval Perry sent

'No, I know you havent, Po little chap.
Hes dressed, and everythings ready'


Is anyone else getting this kind of stuff and what's the oddest you've received?

galwayrush

One from a 'Maureen Haughey' asking for help to move money into my own account as the Irish Government had seized her beloved husband's millions after he died.

the groutch

"This dress too sexy for my sister?"

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

I have Gmail, so.... no idea.

gramar

Ikky Poo2 wrote: »

I have Gmail, so.... no idea.

I have gmail too and I bulk delete them so I've no idea what crazy shít gets sent there either. The ones I get are at work through Outlook.

MurdyWurdy

Not spam exactly but someone with a similar email address to me (not sure exactly what it is) keeps signing up for websites with my email address. Her surname is the same as mine and the first two letters of her first name are the same. It's driving me mad, how hard is it to get your own email address right?

This girl lives in the states and recently signed up for a website that has no unsubscribe link, they want me to call an American number to get my details removed. The website sends loads of emails as well. It's extremely annoying

sbsquarepants

Not spam exactly, but my girlfriend keeps getting designs for things like water bottles and other sports accesories to approve before manufacture. She's even spoken to the design company (In the USA) and explained that they aren't for her but still every few months comes another design for your urgent approval if we are to meet your deadline!

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

gramar wrote: »

I have gmail too and I bulk delete them so I've no idea what crazy shít gets sent there either. The ones I get are at work through Outlook.

You, sir, have too much free time on your hands!

IceFjoem

MurdyWurdy wrote: »

Not spam exactly but someone with a similar email address to me (not sure exactly what it is) keeps signing up for websites with my email address. Her surname is the same as mine and the first two letters of her first name are the same. It's driving me mad, how hard is it to get your own email address right?

This girl lives in the states and recently signed up for a website that has no unsubscribe link, they want me to call an American number to get my details removed. The website sends loads of emails as well. It's extremely annoying

Sounds like an open invitation for some revenge!

MurdyWurdy

IceFjoem wrote: »

Sounds like an open invitation for some revenge!

I'd love that but I can't figure out what her email address actually is!

IceFjoem

MurdyWurdy wrote: »

I'd love that but I can't figure out what her email address actually is!

Sure screw it, there's only 26 letters in the alphabet, you said you thought she must have been getting the first two initials wrong? That's only 676 possible addresses! There's some really top notch spamming software out there these days too, definitely worth a shot...but hey, maybe revenge isn't your thing? Anyway...it's really more of a Shelbyville idea...

MurdyWurdy

IceFjoem wrote: »

Sure screw it, there's only 26 letters in the alphabet, you said you thought she must have been getting the first two initials wrong? That's only 676 possible addresses! There's some really top notch spamming software out there these days too, definitely worth a shot...but hey, maybe revenge isn't your thing? Anyway...it's really more of a Shelbyville idea...

My email address is my surname followed by the initials of my first and middle names. Presumably hers is the same but with a different letter in place of the initial of middle name. You're right, It prob wouldn't take that much to figure it out!

Revenge is totally my thing

o1s1n

Just had a look at my Outlook spam folder:

This Stock is On Immediate Alert! Get Ready!!! I`m extremely excited about tonight!

Date: Monday, March 25th, 2013
Company: Pengram Gold Corporation
Symbol to buy: PN_GM
Buy at: $.024
5-Day Target: 0.10

It jumps higher after twitter alert. Early Morning Alert!

IceFjoem

MurdyWurdy wrote: »

My email address is my surname followed by the initials of my first and middle names. Presumably hers is the same but with a different letter in place of the initial of middle name. You're right, It prob wouldn't take that much to figure it out!

Revenge is totally my thing

Excellent! Don't underestimate her though, she's already got the jump on you!

speedboatchase

I received spam as Gaeilge once, which was amazing. Also, in my old job we got sent the strangest Viagra pill spam - one had a subject line of 'Attack her furiously tonight!!!'

IceFjoem

speedboatchase wrote: »

Also, in my old job we got sent the strangest Viagra pill spam - one had a subject line of 'Attack her furiously tonight!!!'

Hmm, I got one saying "Attack them furiously tonight!!!", sounds like someone's trying to sell you an inferior product man.

gramar

Great News! I'll add this to the other 50m odd I've won in various other lotteries from around the world.

'WINNING NOTIFICATION:

We wish to congratulate and inform you on the selection of cash prize
1,000,000.00 (British Pounds) held on Saturday,27th April 2013
in London UK.The selection process was carried out through random
selection in Our computerized email selection system (ss) from a
database of over 250,000 email addresses drawn from which you were
selected. And Your e-mail address attached to ticket number:
56475600545 188 with Serial number 5368/02 drew the lucky numbers:
05, 06, 17, 20, 28, 42 (Bonus 33) ,which subsequently won you the
lottery in the 1st category i.e match 5 plus bonus'

Reamer Fanny

Hello nice meeting you,I am Miss Bellar,i am interested in making friend with you,and i found you, please reply to my email box. bellarjohnson4@yahoo.com and i will introduce my self to you and send you my picture.

Reamer Fanny

Dear Prospective Beneficiary/Partner,

I am Mr. David Bello, an employee of UNION BANK OF NIGERIA PLC, Lagos,
Nigeria. I have urgent and very confidential business proposition for you.
In January 2001, a renowned German oil consultant/contractor Mr. Horst
Lehmann made a numbered-time fixed deposit for twelve calendar months
valued at US$ 28.5million in a domiciliary account in my branch.

Upon maturity, I sent a routine notification of account status to his
forwarding address but got no reply, after two months, we sent a reminder
of same letter. And finally we discovered from his contact employers,
Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation (NNPC), Port-Harcourt Refinery,
Rivers State of Nigeria, that Mr. Horst Lehmann, a German National died in
a Beirut-bound charter jet Plane Crash on Thursday December 25, 2003,
including his wife, and their two children. Thirty-six out of the
fifty-eight occupants of the charter jet Plane unfortunately lost their
lives.

PLEASE VIEW MORE DETAILS ABOUT THE CRASH:
http://edition.cnn.com/2003/WORLD/africa/12/25/benin.crash/index.html?

After further investigation, I found out that he did not leave a will and
all attempts to trace his kin were fruitless. I therefore made further
investigation and discovered that he did not declare any next of kin in
all his official documents, including his bank deposit papers.This sum of
US$28,500,000.00 Twenty Eight Million Five Hundred Thousand United States
Dollars , is still floating in our bank and the interest is being rolled
over with the principal sum at the end of each year.

After these several attempts, I decided to track his last name over the
Internet, to locate any member of his family hence I contacted you.I have
contacted you to assist in securing this money before they are confiscated
or declared unserviceable by my bank.
It is therefore, upon discovery that I decided to make business with you
and release the money to you as next of kin or relation to the deceased
for safekeeping and Subsequent disbursement, since nobody is coming for it
and I do not want this money to go back into Government's account as
unclaimed bill.

Note that it does not necessarily matter, whether you are biologically
related to the deceased or not. As you may bear with me, a next of kin
maybe a parent,sister, brother, close relative, associate, friend or even
a well wisher.

Therefore, whether you are related to him or not is never a barrier to
realizing the transaction.The important thing is that I have every
detailed information regarding the said Account investment and the
deceased also.

This transaction is aimed at investing in a blue chip company in your
country or any other country under a joint business partnership with you.
However, if you want certain percentage of the deposit for your
involvement, please do let me know so that we negotiate on your share.

Once the deposit is secured, thereafter, I will visit your country, for
the investment thereof. Note, that every arrangement has been put in place
for a smooth and successful transaction.

I expect a positive response from you soonest, contact me via my
alternative e-mail address:[dr.davidbello@qq.com ], so I can advise you on
how to commence.

Yours faithfully,

Dr. David Bello.

gramar

And I thought I was the only one getting those confidential 'business' proposals. I don't feel special anymore.

Auntie Psychotic

"Hi, cowboy!
When my dissolute campus roommate and me went to the shore I was wondering if we could find a quiet place to spend some time and have a good drink.Fortunately, we found a great place - a modest bamboo cafe on the sea shore where we partied out nights away.
See new bikini pics at my profile to appreciate a sultry party that we had.
Be ready to peep at many secret spots and nude curves!"

Lone Stone

I get spam mail from Oprah Winfrey all the time it cracks me up so it does.

Remmy

o1s1n wrote: »

Just had a look at my Outlook spam folder:

This Stock is On Immediate Alert! Get Ready!!! I`m extremely excited about tonight!

Date: Monday, March 25th, 2013
Company: Pengram Gold Corporation
Symbol to buy: PN_GM
Buy at: $.024
5-Day Target: 0.10

It jumps higher after twitter alert. Early Morning Alert!

I dunno man, that seems pretty legit. It's like it was meant for someone else and you got it by accident

sbsquarepants

Got this masterpiece of gibberish today....:D



Make yourr steram of power endelss

http://www.Ulloa.Garlitz.hedacornelia.com/


With arts, with arms, and humanized a world.
To feast all kinds of people.
DUCHESS. I am Duchess of Malfi still.
Lord, let their faith atone.
AN INTEMPERATE HUSBAND SAVED BY PRAYER.
The native land of all the zephyrs.
Nor yield till time yields to eternity.
And fills it with a warmth benign.
Fills Avon and the world with light.
TELEGRAM AND LETTER TO HORACE GREELEY.
Bagration as if to reassure Prince Andrew.
He stopped me, pushing my hand aside.
There was still no answer.
He clasped the stock of the pistol firmly and felt reassured.
Great businesse must be wrought ere Noone.
SCENE IV. The palace yard.
The people stared and wondered though their weeping did not cease.
Contains good Miscellaneous Matter.
Who sent my favorite pipe to me.
Economical Steam Power. By WILLIAM BARNET LE VAN.
And were all got under her before they were up.
Insanity, hereditary.
And let your foot wear out his threshold.
The Princess laughed, a little unpleasantly.
This rhyme is frequently met in mediaeval narrative poems.
With them were many great animals long since passed away.
First. Geography tells us where to find places.
Up to Thy heavenly light, and reap what Thou hast sown.
WHY MEN USUALLY INVITE MANY GUESTS TO A WEDDING SUPPER.
Orsino grew impatient at last and spoke out frankly.
No racks could make the stubborn malady confess.
John Anderson, my jo.
All heaven leaned down to watch the exciting race.
Mr. Coventry had now taken spacious apartments, and furnished them.
Of her I fondly loved.
Half of the Antioch whence I had it.
Memphis, Tennessee. I was born not far from Memphis but on this side.
Grasping, steered into the main.
And we will depart on our errand.
Zehnmaenner fuer den Freiheitsprozess hervor.
XIX. A RACE WITH DREAD.
He sat on a log to examine the blooms.
All. Downe with him, downe with him.
James Brown, Santee Agency, Neb.
European deerskin will alone weigh more than that.
The Man Is The Prayer.
Men upon earth will fly contention.
This etext was produced by Tony Adam.
They examined all the rooms in the somber habitation.
They were out of the great shed in an incredibly short time.
No one knows us, no one heeds us.
So far the answer was conclusive.
And with that word she gan ful sore syke.
First Quality and Designs.
Society cannot exist without wholesome restraints.
Alcinous, and half great uncle to Nausicaa.
Hal considered a few minutes before replying.
The Abbe Dubois burst out laughing, not daring to grow angry.
Even for this charge.
To fly or not to fly.
To a lover, it augurs reciprocation in love, and fidelity.
Sringalika had said in my favour.
A glory to the colony.
AND SPRAGUE OF RHODE ISLAND.
A vessel apt to glory or to shame.
And earth rolls back beneath the flying steed.
So let us still continue peace and love.
Bakkus took a sip of beer, and regarded him with his mocking eyes.
De Vasselot turned the clumsy parcel in his hand.
Then both unknown, and now so fames a twain.
Full fifteen hundred men and mae.
Burton many a time and oft in the course of his Eastern wanderings.
WASHINGTON AND JEFFERSON.
King Armanous what she had said, whereat he rejoiced greatly.
Then the reading of it was continued.
OF THE SMOKE OF A TOWN.
The eyes glaze once, and that is death.
Than if I should deliver it.
Alfred Vargrave perceived, where he paused, his betrothed.
One of those points on which his influence failed, he then mentioned.
The offer of my services being accepted, we set out.
The choicest flowers to hive.
To be kept clean, and not to be scratched or defaced.
MIRROR with Zoology, as one of the most popular studies of the day.
Grandpapa Chandore refused to hear any more.
Chapter II. The Method.
QUEEN. Gone is the evil picture from his neck.
There was no appeal from this verdict, and no evading its execution.
Under the chestnut bloom.
Would draw three thousand of her sons around me.
You must not go. You are a part of me.
For he will do nothing, except I bring money.
Hubert shrugged his shoulders.
Then Sissie herself came very silently into the room.
Quum mihi ab exequiis somnus penderet amaris.
LETTY. No rival attraction, Tommy means.
Philip, this letter is to that effect.
Insubrern in Fehde lagen.
Very few of the Siberian peasants were to be seen in the fields.
In proportion as he drew near, his pace slackened more and more.
Angela turned round again.
The rustle round her feet suggests how laundresses may thrive.
Professor Maxon glanced at him sharply.
The blithesome sounds of wassail gay.
At the crossing of the brook.
STRANGER. One thing only.
It was Peter again who spoke.
W.K. DICKSON, Advocate.
But from their praises turned, and lived a life retired.
He, on the sandhills, watched the great pale coast envelop her.
Time. Exhaustion. Ratio.
Winter set glittering on top of an old yew.
I am to learn what that Italian means.
Shattering that it may reach, and shattering what it reaches.
Dave sat on the raft.
Your Majesty has greater need of Care.
One with all the fire of youth.
Chapter V. The Recitation of Fables.
As he rested there in state.
A step in the hall made Nance scramble to her feet just before Mrs.
Von Deitz turned round sharply.
Or wrath or craft may get him.
Visit, of the ancestor to the ancestral home.
Far out of their sight.
BARBUT, J., on the dogs of Guinea.
Inviting fruit on too sublime a tree.
With surprising docility, the boy rose.
Verrier had sent it, and placed it in my room as a gift.
All wailing with unutterable woes.
PATIOMKIN. Come along, darling.

Plazaman

There are an inordinate number of people out there so concerned about my penis size they email me on a regular basis regards potions, powders and creams.

Don't know why, I'm hung like a donkey.

Freddy Smelly

sbsquarepants wrote: »

Not spam exactly, but my girlfriend keeps getting designs for things like water bottles and other sports accesories to approve before manufacture. She's even spoken to the design company (In the USA) and explained that they aren't for her but still every few months comes another design for your urgent approval if we are to meet your deadline!

patent the next design then sue the company for breaching your patent

sheesh

speedboatchase wrote: »

I received spam as Gaeilge once, which was amazing. Also, in my old job we got sent the strangest Viagra pill spam - one had a subject line of 'Attack her furiously tonight!!!'

Yeah got one in Irish too I was very impressed

short_of_cash

Got a spam from my own email address advertising " I pull my pants to one side"

Don't wear pants actually!

nucker

I had this one today from a person claiming to be from the First Bank of Nigeria saying

"Dear Customer,

We wish to inform you that the upgrade of your internet banking account is 76% completed pending your self online activation to complete the 100% upgrade.
You are required to download and the attach file to upgrade your internet banking account on our safer platform.
This process will also reduce all sms and transaction charges."

There's me thinking, "Yeah, I'm stupid I'm going to download that attachment, oh how did they know I had an account with them in the first place"

Toby Take a Bow

From Dick Manuel:

My newest pick - Best Income Generating Sector Eliminating the Oil Leakage: Who is Getting Profit? NY analysts estimated that BP will allocate $10 billion to $21 billion on cleanup. Clean Harbors of Norwell, Mass., is estimated to generate $323 million from the Gulf spill in 2014. S C XN IDS Oil-Spill Response Solution brings a novel and crucial tool for oil spill response. Buy S C XN till it jumps a buck. It soared 40 cent in just one day! Grab shares below buck on Apr 23rd!

I have no idea what any of that means.

paddy147

My 1 ton order of steel pipes from China is waiting for me at my local UPS collection office......:pac::D

C.K Dexter Haven

nucker wrote: »

I had this one today from a person claiming to be from the First Bank of Nigeria saying

"Dear Customer,

We wish to inform you that the upgrade of your internet banking account is 76% completed pending your self online activation to complete the 100% upgrade.
You are required to download and the attach file to upgrade your internet banking account on our safer platform.
This process will also reduce all sms and transaction charges."

There's me thinking, "Yeah, I'm stupid I'm going to download that attachment, oh how did they know I had an account with them in the first place"

The ones from "AIB" are similar but of course have caught out some people as a result.

spiritcrusher

I used to get emails from some American woman's husband constantly, she had the same last name as me and first initial. They seemed to be separate from each other quite a lot, think he was a marine or something. Never really paid much attention to them cos I thought it was some kinda weird spam, until last December...
Got a couple emails from a Chicago lawyer (completely legit, scans of headed paper and I googled him to make sure) stating the husband had begun divorce proceedings... Three days before Christmas. Grim enough.
Got a few strange emails from the lawyer after that wondering about lack of replies and such. Sure didn't I want the goss

gramar

Looks like I've been a bold boy........

Anti-Terrorist and Monetary Crimes Division
Fbi Headquarters In Washington, D.C.
Federal Bureau Of Investigation
J. Edgar Hoover Building
935 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW Washington, D.C. 20535-0001 Website: www.fbi.gov


Attention, this is the final warning you are going to receive from me do you get me? I hope youre understand how many times this message has been sent to you?. We have warned you so many times and you have decided to ignore our e-mails or because you believe we have not been instructed to get you arrested, and today if you fail to respond back to us with the payment then, we would first send a letter to the mayor of the city where you reside and direct them to close your bank account until you have been jailed and all your properties will be confiscated by the fbi. We would also send a letter to the company/agency that you are working for so that they could get you fired until we are through with our investigations because a suspect is not suppose to be working for the government or any private organization.

The email goes on. It looks like that instead of telling me to help them take millions out of the country they'll set the FBI on me for already doing that and there is a fine of 98$ to be sent through western union to:


NAME: UZOUKWU CLETUS
ADDRESS: LAGOS NIGERIA
TEXT QUESTION:FOR
ANSWER: YOU
AMOUNT: $98

Oryx

Uzoukwu Cletus needs to go back to spammer school.

AndyMc

Its only 98$ for a terrorist charge? Thats a steel.

Davidth88

get these sort of things all the time

Weird.....often it's fencing or suchlike


Dear Sir:

Good day.

I am glad to contact with you. This is Unique chemicals co.,ltd, from internet I know that maybe you are interested in our products, so write to contact you.
Our product include: STPP, SLES, SLS, Sodium Sulfate, Sodium Alkyl Benzene Sulfonate, Sodium Stearate etc.

If you in charge of purchasing these products please contact me freely.
Hope we can cooperate with your esteemed company.
Waiting for your early reply.

Best regards

AzN

This adrianna bitch has been spamming my email for a few months with the subject "HEY YOU!!!" on the message it goes on to tell that it knows me from school, has broken up with it's boyfriend, is moving near me and want's to meet up sometime. But wait it get's better towards the end of the lenghtly spam message it turns to saying "I've set up a new account on "Insert virus porn site here" and would love if you came by"

Also got a few viagra ones but who hasn't got them at this stage?

Oryx

Equality at last! The enlargement emails now refer to BOOBS!