Annoying clingy aunt

stop animal cruelty

l have an aunt, in her fifties, single with no kids. l am her only niece. She lives in a different county to me. l have never been close to this woman & only been to her house twice in my life. She lives on her own, has loads of friends around but no family. (lv a small family on that side)

About 3 years ago, when my nan was sick she was around alot. l got on grand with her. Then she started saying things like me & you are so alike etc etc, sorry but no we are not! l didn't say anything to her cause it didn't really bother me but l guess she was really trying to get this close bond with me or something. She use to ring me often, for no reason & use to text me at 7 am in the morning! This really pissed me off, she then tryed to tell me how shes depressed & stuff....it was as if she was trying to talk to me & again, make this bond thing. This really turned me off her, l barley knew the woman & it was as if shes trying to force me into been there for her & be all "aunty & niece". l know l sound very insensitive, but this woman is trying to cling onto me! Times when l have been around her, out of the blue she'd get very hyper & do stupid things. l'll admit l'm embarressed to say shes my aunt, horrible l know, & l really do regret saying & feeling something like that. One time she was offended l didn't have my pic of her on my phone, when she had one of me!

lm unemployed atm, & shes looking out for jobs for me where she lives, which lm grateful for & l just can;t get anything at home. l sent up a cv last week to her cause she was going to give it to someone she knows. Got a text this morning saying she got my cv & thought it was very good. l was really pissed off. There was no need for her it read my cv, it was none of her business, l even wrote on the back of the envolope, it was from me. My cv is my business, l felt on top of being clingy & hoping l'll move to cork with her, she thinks its alrite for her to read through my cv & tell me its v good! why would someone do that? She then went onto say how theres a day ticket to cork & l should go up & the 2 of us go around handing out cv's together. I don't want to do that with her. l don't want to & never have given her the impression l want this special bond. shes wrecking my head. l don't want her telling me where to apply for jobs & how l need to do this & that. Its my own business, l understand she wants to help but l really just want her to leave me alone. l want to sort out my career myself & not have other people what to do etc......ugh!

l just had to get all that out. l don't know what to do. l'll have to text her back later. Shes a bit sensitve so l don't want to offend her, but l guess what lm saying is, l don't want this relationship shes looking/hoping for. l'v tryed to not be so insensitive, horrible about this but l can't help it. l do feel guilty.

Thoughts?

Neyite

Firstly, stop asking her for help, and politely decline it when she offers. I know you are looking for a job, but you should insist on her passing on the email address of the prospective employer to you and for you to submit your application. Just tell her it looks very unprofessional and childish to have her do it.

Tell whichever parent she is a sister of and they might have a word and drop into conversation - along the lines of Ah, well SAC just hangs out with her friends, y'know what its like, no interest in us auld wans!" then just stop replying to her texts as much. Your parent knows them best of all and knows how to handle her to get her to give you a bit of breathing space.

Koptain Liverpool

I don't understand what your problem is. Your poor aunt sounds like all she's tried to do has to develop a relationship with you. God love you!

You say that your embarrassed that she's your aunt etc but you're happy enough to use her to send your CV to her contacts in order to help you try and get a job. And so what if she had a look at your CV and then complimented you on it!

You sound very immature and I think you need to grow up. Of course you don't have to be best friends with your aunt but would it really hurt you to give a bit of time to a family member who is obviously a bit lonely by the sounds of it. Imagine the cheek of her telling you that she was depressed!
Does the odd phone call and text really put you out so much???

If you don't have time for your aunt at least then stop expecting her to do you any favors when it suits you

Merkin

Over-reacting much?

The woman is evidently a little lonely and is fond of you. You don't have to be her bosom buddy or spend more time with her than you wish but your wholly inappropriate and overly dramatic reaction to the woman reading your CV is bizarre in the extreme. If you really can't stand the woman you shouldn't then turn around and use her for your own gains.

Just stop engaging with her as much if her presence grates on you so much

DeltaWhite

It sounds to me like she's really lonely and probably classes you as the nearest thing to a child she has! I understand you find this clingy and unnecessary but I have to say I find how you speak about her very sad! I'm not in your position so I can't know exactly how you feel but I think you should try get along with her and maybe just accept that she just wants an Aunty/niece relationship with you

Maybe if you make a bit of effort she might even back off a bit! She's probably sensed some rejection from you and that could be what's pushing her to try her best to stay in your life. She's suffering from depression as you said in your post and she must be feeling very low and lonely.

Don't get me wrong I have an aunt who does annoy me sometimes with her constant calls to my house but I still grit my teeth and get on with it as she's family and a very good person
Is there any other reason why you have no time for her, or is it just that she clings to you? Would you ever sit and have a chat with her about how your feeling?

Also have to add OP I completely agree with the 2 previous posters here!

Brego888

You come across as ungrateful, insensitive and lacking in any human empathy.

I suppose if this "horrible" aunt bothers you that much you shouldn't be accepting any help from her and stop replying to her messages.
Maybe then she can go out of her way to help someone who actually appreciates it.

LegacyUser

Ye know, I don't understand your insensitivity. I don't get angry reading posts on here but yours has struck a chord. I don't understand why you wouldn't want to get to know a relaitve.

If someone told me they were a bit "depressed and stuff", I would be inclined to try to help them. Her hyperness might be down to some excitement of seeing you and you letting her hang out with you.

I have an aunt who has no kids and is lonely and an alcoholic. Still, she does her best as an aunt would.

Friend of mine was in the same situation as you. Her aunt and her are the last in the line of their family. She didn't know the woman until she got a letter in the post saying it would be great to meet up / get to know each other.

They met up, and although aren't bosom buddies, they still talk and get on and correspond.

Maybe when you grow up you'll see the value in having the relationship.

As an uncle, if I had a nephew or niece who thought so little of me I'd rather know so I wouldn't have to deal with them anymore. I certainly wouldn't expect them to ask me for anything.

stop animal cruelty

Brego888 wrote: »

You come across as ungrateful, insensitive and lacking in any human empathy.

I suppose if this "horrible" aunt bothers you that much you shouldn't be accepting any help from her and stop replying to her messages.
Maybe then she can go out of her way to help someone who actually appreciates it.

Where did l say she was horrible??

l am grateful & l do not lack human empathy. Read my OP properly. Shes becoming very clingy & its annoying. She offered me help, l didn't ask. I accepted it this time by sending my cv to her, because she asked me to.

stop animal cruelty

Merkin wrote: »

Over-reacting much?

The woman is evidently a little lonely and is fond of you. You don't have to be her bosom buddy or spend more time with her than you wish but your wholly inappropriate and overly dramatic reaction to the woman reading your CV is bizarre in the extreme. If you really can't stand the woman you shouldn't then turn around and use her for your own gains.

Just stop engaging with her as much if her presence grates on you so much

Fine if you think my reaction was inappropriate etc but as l said, she had no need or business to read it. I didn't know she was going to become so clingy, as l said in my OP, l didn't know her growing up.

Merkin

stop animal cruelty wrote: »

Fine if you think my reaction was inappropriate etc but as l said, she had no need or business to read it. I didn't know she was going to become so clingy, as l said in my OP, l didn't know her growing up.

And I'm presuming you still have a lot of growing up to do.

She read it out of interest (mildly grating) and was kind enough to give you positive feedback about it. On the grand scheme of things is that really so horrific? Is the tailspin her actions have precipitated in you really necessary? You sound a little young and insensitive and yes, she may sound a little enthusiastic etc but I wouldn't go being hard on someone who is lonely and depressed. There is no fear of her arriving at your door every day so would a few minutes of kindness here and there (replying to a text etc) really cause you that much upset?

It seems like you've blown this out of all proportion. Showing you a bit of kindness and attention does not really equate with the clingyness.

Brego888

stop animal cruelty wrote: »

Where did l say she was horrible??

l am grateful & l do not lack human empathy. Read my OP properly. Shes becoming very clingy & its annoying. She offered me help, l didn't ask. I accepted it this time by sending my cv to her, because she asked me to.

Your attitude makes me angry so ill leave it at this - perhaps try and explain to her that you appreciate her help but as a young adult you want to make it on your own and do things by yourself.
Hopefully she understands.

You can't accept someone's help of passing on your CV and have a hissy fit that they read it. Firstly, getting as many people as possible to read and critique a cv is usually a good thing. Secondly, what if you accidentally passed on your shopping list?! or an old version with typos? Of course she read it before passing it on.
The poor woman is lonely and trying to reach out to you.
If you don't want any kind of relationship, then stop accepting help and let her know. This is not what I would do - I'd more more inclined to suggest social groups in her area or something. She doesn't live near you and is not inclined to drop in uninvited so a bit of kindness and courtesy wouldn't be the end of the world

lukesmom

By the sounds of it she is irritating you a lot. I think she would be better off finding somebody nice to talk to, somebody who has her best interests at heart. Not a spoilt, ungrateful niece who comes onto an Internet forum to slag her off. She says she is depressed, anybody with a SHRED of decency would be helping her out by listening to how she's feeling. You are the one she has come to with this but your not bothered. Shame on you.

tinkerbell

Agree with everyone else. If you send someone your CV, you need to realise that they might read it. People are just nosy and might take a quick glance or read the lot. Also, it's good to get a 2nd pair of eyes to review it. Therefore, if you don't want people reading your CV, then send it directly to the hr person in the company you wish to work for.

It sounds like you aunt is lonely and looks fondly on you. Stop being so ungrateful and a spoiled brat. You seem happy to just use her for her employment contacts but then don't want anything else to do with her.

stop animal cruelty

ok l get what everyone thinks. l wish l wasn;t like that. l need alot of growing up to do & much more. l agree she does derserve much better than me. l feel horrible, as l derserve to feel. l dont derserve an aunt like her.

MissFlitworth

stop animal cruelty wrote: »

lm unemployed atm, & shes looking out for jobs for me where she lives, which lm grateful for & l just can;t get anything at home. l sent up a cv last week to her cause she was going to give it to someone she knows.

I wouldn't pass a CV from a younger relative on to someone I knew without looking at it first, if it was rubbish or full of mistakes I wouldn't pass it on.

Your reaction to your aunt sounds really young & really immature (and I don't mean that in a mean way, it reminds me of how I felt about my Mam & her sisters when I was 14/15 and in the full on throes of being mortified by everything they did) & you'll probably grow out of it. So don't do anything now that might hurt your relationship with her in years to come, like take advantage of her to search for jobs for you and be nasty to or about her in return. Probably best not to get a job based around where she is or with people she knows as well as you'll find yourself around her a lot more than you'd like.

As someone else mentioned, just be kind & courteous and keep a polite distance if you're so annoyed by her. Sounds like she's doing *nothing* wrong bar being interested in having a relationship with you so really do not go saying anything to her you might regret

lukesmom

stop animal cruelty wrote: »

ok l get what everyone thinks. l wish l wasn;t like that. l need alot of growing up to do & much more. l agree she does derserve much better than me. l feel horrible, as l derserve to feel. l dont derserve an aunt like her.

Yeah well at least you can see it now. You can start by being kind to your aunt who obviously needs support at the moment. It's never too late to turn things around. Good luck.

Neyite

I have to agree with the others about your CV. If I was recommending someone, I would quickly scan it before passing it on. I'd let that one go and acknowledge that its because she is bugging you that this particular incident bothered you. Chances are if it were a friend who peeked at it, you wouldnt have batted an eyelid.

Though texts at 7am and being annoyed at you because you dont have her picure on your phone is a bit intrusive and a tad strange so I can see why you want to establish boundaries.

What about suggesting a regular lunch date, say once a month. She would probably love it, and its a small sacrifice if it keeps her from chasing you for a relationship, if you have a regular arrangement. That way, you can be busy the rest of the time, but you cant be accused of being rude or ignoring her either. Once you are chatting to her on a regualr basis, you can suggest hobbies or activities more age appropriate for her to get involved in.

ElleEm

OP, I'm sure you were a bit shocked at all of the posters here having the same opinion, but in your first few posts, you come across as agressive, insensitive and ungrateful. I am glad you followed this up by acknowledging that you need to grow up a bit. You do seem quite immature.

Think of it from her perspective, she is lonely, and may regret not knowing you when you were growing up. She wants to help you and chat with you and develop a relationship with you. Isn't that lovely that someone wants to go through the effort to get to know you? Regardless on whether you have anything in common or not, she is your family and she is depressed and lonely, and seems to want to develop a bond with you.

I have a similar situation in that I have a childless aunt and uncle in their late 60's. They may as well be from another planet due to how different they are from me and my life. They have a boring little life together, but I see how much joy it brings them when I send them cards for birthdays or Christmas. I ring them every now and then to have a chat about nothing, and if I am in their town, will sometimes call in for tea. Giving them a few mins of a phone call, or an hour for a cuppa makes them so happy. It costs me nothing, and sometimes it can be a bit repetitive or draining trying to find something to chat about, but it makes them happy! It is a nice thing to do, and I always feel great afterwards.

If you feel like your aunt is contacting you too much, maybe put a bit of a boundary on it, and next time she rings/ texts, tell her that you're busy and you will call her on X day. If you don't want her involved in your job seeking- then don't talk to her about it. It really costs nothing to be nice though, just a little time, but what is a text or a phone call once a week or so.

a posse ad esse

I am going to have to say that I do agree with some of the responses from other posters but I also find that some are quite harsh to begin with. The poster stated she had no relationship with her aunt whatsoever and only saw her twice in her entire life before what happened in the family. So the aunt never had a relationship with her niece at the very beginning to her own choosing. On my mother's side of the family, I had two uncles that never married or had children who've had plenty of nephews where they were living but they never forgot about their other niece and nephews living over in Ireland. They've always called us on holidays, sent us b-day cards and these uncles lived in a different country not county! And even living in different countries we've got to see them more than twice in our lives growing up. So there really isn't much of an excuse as to why the aunt did not make the effort when the OP was a child to all of a sudden now?

I would almost compare the OP's situation with having an absentee parent that all of a sudden shows up in your life and is trying to make up for lost time and/or contact. I just think the OP is feeling overwhelmed by the attention and calling it "clingy" in her own eyes. I don't blame her perception at all. I am sure many would be confused from having no relationship at all to having someone "in your face" all the time so to speak. I think what has happened is the aunt has gotten old and realised that her niece is all she probably has left in her life and wants to build a relationship that never happened at the beginning without even discussing it with the niece firsthand. The aunt just assumes that the niece wants the same. Unless,there is a good explanation, I personally would not feel comfortable with a relative I have had no relationship with at all growing up then all of a sudden "shows up" and wants to spend so much time with me all of a sudden. This isn't an aunt that has emigrated and lived in Oz for a number of years who has decided to move back to Ireland and patch things up again. She lives in the same country, for goodness sakes! I think the aunt is perhaps doing it in a way that is making the OP uncomfortable and annoyed which I don't blame the OP for being. I am all about family and respect for the elder relatives but I am going to have to side a bit on the OP here.

I also don't like the fact that the aunt comes up to her and tells her she is depressed. That is not making the OP any more comfortable about it and she needs to tell her mother about this pronto, in my opinion.

I wouldn't call the OP immature probably disillusioned. I do agree with the posters who don't think it's nice to use this aunt for work contacts. I also don't think there was anything wrong for her to look over your CV. She is the one putting in the good word for you and if your CV has errors that is not going to look good on the aunt. However, the OP needs to realise what kind of relationship she wants with this aunt and set up some healthy boundaries. Maybe speaking with her aunt about how she feels overwhelmed by it all, the aunt may learn to step back a bit and perhaps this can help build their relationship if the OP chooses to do so.

stop animal cruelty

stop animal cruelty wrote: »

ok l get what everyone thinks. l wish l wasn;t like that. l need alot of growing up to do & much more. l agree she does derserve much better than me. l feel horrible, as l derserve to feel. l dont derserve an aunt like her.

For what it's worth I disagree with most of the other posters. You're not horrible. You have a life, you're busy, you're looking for a job. And all of a sudden someone comes along who clearly isn't content with a polite small-talk situation, expecting things of you because their circumstances have changed. Someone demanding your time and interest, pretending that a certain kind of relationship exists between you when it's clearly a different situation.

Whatever about the CV. You shouldn't be surprised that she read it, but she shouldn't have commented on it. If you do want to take a step back from her you will have to stop accepting help from her. But that's only a small detail of the problems you've described with her.

She's not your responsibility. She can't just suddenly expect a deep relationship with you without putting in the groundwork first. If I were you I'd be as courteous and polite as you can while keeping contact to a minimum. Only speak when spoken to and don't accept any help off her. You can't expect her to get the message unless you make it clear you're sending one.

ElleEm

a posse ad esse wrote: »

The poster stated she had no relationship with her aunt whatsoever and only saw her twice in her entire life before what happened in the family.

The poster actually said this;

stop animal cruelty wrote: »

l have an aunt, in her fifties, single with no kids. l am her only niece. She lives in a different county to me. l have never been close to this woman & only been to her house twice in my life.

There could be many reasons why the aunt has only stepped up contact in the last few years, maybe she was trying to make up for lost time.

Joe Hart

stop animal cruelty wrote: »

ok l get what everyone thinks. l wish l wasn;t like that. l need alot of growing up to do & much more. l agree she does derserve much better than me. l feel horrible, as l derserve to feel. l dont derserve an aunt like her.

hold on a second.... Don't feel ashamed for feeling this way. You said you barely knew her when you were younger so yes it is a bit weird that she is trying to build this relationship. Family counts for a bit but its not everything. I'd relax on the contact as she is clearly going through her own problems.

a posse ad esse

ElleEm wrote: »

The poster actually said this;



There could be many reasons why the aunt has only stepped up contact in the last few years, maybe she was trying to make up for lost time.

Sorry I do not know how to add the other quotes.

I do see the point you are making. But we do not know how old the OP was when she went to her aunt's place twice. She could have been a child and if this were the case the aunt is still very much responsible. It is the adult's responsibility to take the initiative to make contact and to form the bond and relationship with child family member not the child.

Maybe the OP's mother and aunt did not have a close sibling relationship which perhaps made it difficult for the aunt to have one with her niece. However, despite the reasons this doesn't mean things are going to be hunky-dory that she is now in the life of the OP. It takes time to build a relationship not something immediate regardless if she is family or not.

Toots

Neyite wrote: »

I have to agree with the others about your CV. If I was recommending someone, I would quickly scan it before passing it on. I'd let that one go and acknowledge that its because she is bugging you that this particular incident bothered you. Chances are if it were a friend who peeked at it, you wouldnt have batted an eyelid.

I have to agree about the CV thing. Even if she didn't directly say it to the place you were applying, her handing in the CV on your behalf could be perceived as her recommending you. If the thing was terrible or full of mistakes, it could reflect badly on her. Another thing I would add is that it's a bit unfair of you to use her for job contacts when the reality is that you're not too fond of her at the minute. It's just another thing for the two of you to be in touch over, also if you got a job near her and had to move down you'd be seeing a lot more of her.

Though texts at 7am and being annoyed at you because you dont have her picure on your phone is a bit intrusive and a tad strange so I can see why you want to establish boundaries.

Just out of interest, how did she find out you had no pictures of her on your phone? Was she looking through your phone?

What about suggesting a regular lunch date, say once a month. She would probably love it, and its a small sacrifice if it keeps her from chasing you for a relationship, if you have a regular arrangement. That way, you can be busy the rest of the time, but you cant be accused of being rude or ignoring her either.

If she's really annoying you, I'd say stretch out the time between lunch dates or outings, but it's definitely an idea to consider. Ok, you'd have to put up with her for a couple of hours every few weeks, but if it stops her constantly ringing and texting you etc then I'd chalk that up as a win. You never know, you might actually enjoy spending some time with her when she's not being all up in your face all the time.

a posse ad esse wrote: »

I also don't like the fact that the aunt comes up to her and tells her she is depressed. That is not making the OP any more comfortable about it and she needs to tell her mother about this pronto, in my opinion.

Sounds to me like it might be a cry for help in some ways. If the aunt was sort of isolated from the rest of the family (maybe due to some past disagreement), she may have 'latched on' to the niece because she doesn't have any history with her - she's a clean slate for want of a better expression.

OP, what is your mother's relationship with your aunt like? Do they keep in touch? If not are they on speaking terms? I agree that she (or another adult relative) definitely needs to be told about the depression, for your aunt's health and safety if nothing else, but also you sound like your fairly young (late teens/early 20s?) and that's a lot to have to deal with on your own. I also think you should ask your mum to gently suggest that your aunt backs off a little bit because the current level of contact is not doing anything to improve or build a relationship between you both.

LegacyUser

Dear god OP, you are hopefully coming across far harsher than you mean to. I think you need to relax about this and learn a lot of human empathy. I genuinely cant understand the strength of your reaction. It seems way OTT and childishly petulant, and very ungrateful. Is there something that you havent mentioned, about your aunt and family not getting on?

Immature

Immature wrote: »

I think you need to relax about this and learn a lot of human empathy.

Human empathy? Yeah sure, the OP is a psychopath because she doesn't want to be BFFs with a much older woman she barely knows, who wants her to have pictures of her on her phone.

You're the one calling the OP names and having an "OTT" reaction. Human empathy indeed.

seven_eleven

Some really condescending and high-horse replies in this thread.
The OP clearly wants nothing to do with somebody annoying them, which I can totally understand.

Even if the person was lonely, and suffering from depression etc I still wouldn't want to improve our relationship unless I specifically liked this person and wanted to help.

First of all, the OP should not be sending her aunt CV's and asking for her help like that because its only going to make her contact you more, and its selfish availing of her help while feeling angry about having to return the favour.

We all come across these people in life, and as mean as it sounds the best way to get rid of them is to slowly cut off contact with them.
This may just be ignoring her texts at first, just don't respond to them. Over time distance yourself more and more until you're comfortable. This may upset her a bit but at the end of the day you shouldn't have to force yourself to feel uncomfortable and angry because there's somebody in your own life you don't want to have contact with.

This may upset her a bit for a few months but she will eventually move on and find somebody else. It's better than just outright saying "I don't want anything to do with you", in my opinion.
Other posters mentioned talking to your mother about her, she will understand her best and hopefully will be able to give you some advice.

Ridiculous that some of the other posters here immediately set out to do nothing but ridicule & belittle the OP, telling her to grow up. So much for helping people with their personal issues, and giving some constructive criticism.

Ask yourself this. If somebody you got a bit friendly with is constantly irritating you on boards.ie, sending you PM's, friend requests, and just generally being a clingy nuisance, but not in a way that warrants reporting them. What would you do?
BLOCK THEM.

They're not an important part of your life. They're not somebody you NEED to be in contact with. You don't have to deal with their annoyances. Maybe you would if it was somebody more important in life such as a work colleague, in which case its a complete different story.

Joe Hart

Plenty of future needy aunts in this thread.

Big Bag of Chips

Joe Hart, warned for Breach of Forum Charter.

Read it and stick to it, or lose your posting rights to the forum.

Chronic Button

I'd say the hysterical response to the OP is about Ireland's fetishization of family. The responses would be the polar opposite if she was not related to the woman. People would urge the OP to have good boundaries and just freeze the person out. Because they are related, everyone seems to have lost sense. As someone who comes from a difficult family, my family members have caused me more stress than any friends ever have, and I don't consider my relationship to someone to be special just because we are related. The people I am related to are not very nice. My friends on the other hand are lovely, caring etc., and I choose to have them in my life.

OP, nurturing compassion is always good. But you do not owe anything to your aunt. Decide within yourself what boundaries you want to put in place. Maybe there is room in your life to see her occasionally, but maybe not. It is your life, your choice. Don't be guilted by people who don't care about you or your aunt. Best of luck.

Ceiteach

If you don't want a relationship with this woman, that is your prerogative. This doesn't make you a bad person. The fact that she is your Aunt matters little, not everyone is super close with their extended family.

I agree if she wasn't a relative, most of these responses would have an entirely different tone.

will.i.am

OP, She is your aunt. She seems like a lonely woman who just wants a but of company. She was trying her best for you when she handed in your CV and she probably only read it to make sure that you had no mistakes on it or if she was handing it into a business and they asked where did your niece last work/attend college she would look like a fool if she didn't know.
Loads of people ave an annoying clingy aunt they mean no farm to be honest with you. It wouldn't kill you to meet up with her a couple of times a year for simple things such as a little shopping trip in Cork or a lunch. Its not like it's going to break the bank. You don't even have to buy her anything. Give the poor woman a gifts set from boots for Christmas even she sounds like a lady that would give you something in return.
Just remember you might be the clingy aunt someday and wouldn't you like to have a nice niece?

December2012

Maybe you are like her and that's why you hate her and don't want to end up like her? But hey, talk it out with somebody in real life.

December2012

December2012 wrote: »

Maybe you are like her and that's why you hate her and don't want to end up like her? But hey, talk it out with somebody in real life.

She never said she hates her. Not wanting to spend all your energy on someone doesn't mean you hate them. It just means you have normal boundaries and are shocked by some oul' wan suddenly trying to cuddle up to you.

Forever Hopeful

If I am going to use my contacts to help someone with getting a job, I would certainly make sure I was familiar with their CV and to make sure there were no mistakes in it. However, the CV is not the issue here, it's a symptom of the OP's discomfort with her Aunt encroaching on her.
Best thing to do is to talk to your parent who is related to her and discuss the situation with them. Only you and they know how close (or not) your family is and the inter relationships between them all.
Only thing I say is, don't burn any bridges as though you may not think so now but your Aunt could be the only person who you may need to turn to in the future for help.
As the same in your career, don't make enemies on your way up as you could meet them again on the way down.

Hoochiemama

The "she's got depression and stuff" comment is something that struck a chord for me.

If your aunt came and said to you "I have cancer" or "I have MS" ... would you be so quick to write her off as irritating??

Please don't forget that depression is a disease as well. Nothing to be scoffed at. It's just that its an invisible disease to outsiders, but a disease no doubt.

Xxxx

Meller

I think there's definitely two sides to this story. Yes, the OP sounds extremely harsh, and paints the aunt out as a very sympathetic character. The aunt's behaviour does sound quite irritating and clingy, but that certainly doesn't justify treating her horribly.

Most of us have an annoying family member (or somebody else in our life) who just grates on us for whatever reason, and who we'll often lose patience with. The best thing to do? Be civil, grin and bear it. She clearly has good intentions, as well as serious issues that you don't want to exacerbate.

I remember feeling like this with various family members when I was younger, who I just felt like I wanted space from despite them being nothing but kind to me. I grew out of it for the most part, but of course there are still some people who, despite being perfectly 'nice', just really piss me off sometimes. It happens, but you just have to put up with it and not do anything nasty. She really does seem to want to help, but is just going about it in the wrong way!