Is it ok to fart during sex?

Kenny Gofuk

Is it ok to fart during sex? :mad:

Over a few drinks a mate of mine confessed he got off with a girl after quite a long 'dry spell'
However he went on to inform me that the girl he was with was extremely under the weather.
Things were going well until they attemped to do it 'doggy style'
He told me that she sharted and **** all over him, most of it on his piece.
That was 3 days ago..... I'm still laughing

Seachmall

Farting? Sure.

Defecating on your partner's genitals? Eh, depends I suppose.

MonkstownHoop

she queefs all the time

FatherLen

do you think fart means to shit?

1ZRed

Should've jammed it up there and corked that explosion

gg2

Kenny Gofuk wrote: »

Is it ok to fart during sex? :mad:

Over a few drinks a mate of mine confessed he got off with a girl after quite a long 'dry spell'
However he went on to inform me that the girl he was with was extremely under the weather.
Things were going well until they attemped to do it 'doggy style'
He told me that she sharted and **** all over him, most of it on his piece.

What did he do??

FatherLen

1ZRed wrote: »

Should've jammed it up there and corked that explosion

:eek:

Shreddy Krueger

Did he blast her with piss in retaliation ?

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

As long as there's no followthorough.

markie29

Ikky Poo2 wrote: »

As long as there's no followthorough.

you mean no ikkypoo too :P

1ZRed

That would nearly turn me off sex for good. Nearly

Smidge

That has to be one of the filthiest opening posts on here EVER:eek::D

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

markie29 wrote: »

you mean no ikkypoo too :P

Well, since flutternbuttram or whatever his name was left, someone has to hold the fort.


Oh, and it helps to leave no.... eh.... "markies"...:D

WOCM4

Shreddy Krueger wrote: »

Did he blast her with piss in retaliation ?

Listen once and learn, Blast with piss is dead, tired and very old.

Also


****ting on a penis is not farting on a penis OP.

**** on penis would have been a funnier thread tbh. Nice Fail.

Kids today, got no standards.

Brego888

If it's a fanny fart then yes

Richard Hillman

1ZRed wrote: »

Should've jammed it up there and corked that explosion

A good runny shart is as good a lubricant as any

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Brego888 wrote: »

If it's a fanny fart then yes

All farts are funny!

AngryHippie

Piss blasting is alive and well.

It's just not cool to talk about it anymore.:rolleyes:

It's become an underground movement.

policarp

Kenny Gofuk can you burn sharts?

1ZRed

Richard Hillman wrote: »

A good runny shart is as good a lubricant as any

Awww, now that's my limit of disgusting hit. Well played!

Amprodude

Yes a fart would pollute my valuable possession.

cruais

Why do Irish people only put 239 beans in their chilli?

Well, one more would be two faarrtty.

policarp

Everyone gets a buzz off their own farts.
The trick is to train your partner to get
the same buzz. Try eating mushrooms together.

joetoad

If my partner did that I would tie her up, but a clamp in her mouth so its open nice and wide and take a dump down her throat.

WOCM4

As George Carlin once said, 'Your own farts are fine, its everyone else s that's disgusting'


Except Wimmerns, As, obviously , they do not fart.

WOCM4

joetoad wrote: »

If my partner did that I would tie her up, but a clamp in her mouth so its open nice and wide and take a dump down her throat.

You sound like a nice fella.

Kenny Gofuk

HA HA! She sent him a text today like nothing happened, wondering if they could catch up this weekend - seconds anyone?

General General

I think if she does this, you are allowed to call her a lot of names that you otherwise might not get away with.

DazMarz

I would have thought it was unacceptable.

And After Hours continues to shock, entertain, amuse and disgust in equal measure.

You stay classy, AH.

lufties

WOCM4 wrote: »

As George Carlin once said, 'Your own farts are fine, its everyone else s that's disgusting'


Except Wimmerns, As, obviously , they do not fart.

Exactly, everyone knows pretty girls dont fart!

Smidge

lufties wrote: »

Exactly, everyone knows pretty girls dont fart!

Are you insinuating that the OP's mate was NOT with a "pretty girl"???
:pac:


I was going to say that that could be seen as sh1t stirring but..............

mathepac

Some birds do fanny farts which is disconcerting during genital resuscitation (AKA elimination of dry hole syndrome, bean licking, etc)

lufties

Smidge wrote: »

Are you insinuating that the OP's mate was NOT with a "pretty girl"???
:pac:


I was going to say that that could be seen as sh1t stirring but..............

Haha obviously, I was out in dicey reillys one night and met a lass, she was on the guinness...so we ended up back in her place having a fumble when I got an awful stench and it didn't come from me, neither of us said anything and just carried on...so there must have been someone else in the room lol.

Another time I was with an aussie girl, in the morning she let one rip, I started laughing...she was morto, think I brought it up again the next time I met her.

WOCM4

mathepac wrote: »

Some birds do fanny farts which is disconcerting during genital resuscitation (AKA elimination of dry hole syndrome, bean licking, etc)

You are such a romantic, lol

Alone, 3.00 AM in the morning....

Ihatecuddles-old

Same thing happened to a friend of mine...tis a risky business alright.

mathepac

WOCM4 wrote: »

... Alone, 3.00 AM in the morning....

Well I've never been alone at 3:00 AM in the afternoon ...

Fromthetrees

So this is what After Hours is like when the mods are asleep.

Okay.

Don't go near bum time if you're feeling sick or if you're after too much drink unless you're German.

Grayson

I would have wiped my knob off on the curtains and left.

stoneill

Kenny Gofuk wrote: »

Things were going well until they attemped to do it 'doggy style'
she sharted and **** all over him

I am strangely aroused.

Weathering

Sh1t happens

Weathering

stoneill wrote: »

I am strangely aroused.

Boke

shedweller

Just be thankful you weren't 69ing at the time!

Aglomerado

AngryHippie wrote: »

Piss blasting is alive and well.

It's just not cool to talk about it anymore.:rolleyes:

It's become an underground movement.

Movement.

blade1

Heard a story about a guy before,
Well, he decided it would be funny, when he got home from the pub,to pull down his pants and fart into the wife's face, who was asleep in bed.
Yep, you guessed it!
A big dirty splat right in her face.

Pinklady11

blade1 wrote: »

Heard a story about a guy before,
Well, he decided it would be funny, when he got home from the pub,to pull down his pants and fart into the wife's face, who was asleep in bed.
Yep, you guessed it!
A big dirty splat right in her face.

Thanks, I had just taken a mouthful of tea when I read that and well there's a mess now!!

Hows his divorce going?

blade1

Pinklady11 wrote: »

Thanks, I had just taken a mouthful of tea when I read that and well there's a mess now!!

Hows his divorce going?

It strengthened their bond!
It proved to him how much she really loved him!:pac::pac:

shedweller

I farted on the dogs head once.


Once...

admiralofthefleet

sometimes its unavoidable, especially if you have had a few pints. at the moment of blowing your beans all the muscles relax so if you were holding one on it would just appear then

Seedy Arling

Farting can be laughed off. Taking a sh1t in the bed is a different ball game.

Seedy Arling

shedweller wrote: »

Just be thankful you weren't 69ing at the time!

A meal for two with a terrible view...

My name is URL

Why the fcuk did I click onto this thread just before lunch? =(