Fear Of Death..

MarkyMark22

As an atheist, is it normal to have a fear of death?

I'm quite young but find I have a strong fear of being dead. Not dying.

The thought of not being alive and just nothingness.

The thought of life carrying on without me.

Does anyone else have this fear?

How can an atheist deal with or accept mortality?

Turtwig

Not fearing dying seems odd. If someone told me they were first going to hammer nails through my eyes I'd be terrified.

Once you're dead you'll probably be the same as you were before you were born and that doesn't really scare me at. It's dying a horrendous death that terrifies me. If I die peacefully then dying doesn't scare me. Death doesn't either way.

MarkyMark22

Jernal wrote: »

Not fearing dying seems odd. If someone told me they were first going to hammer nails through my eyes I'd be terrified.

Once you're dead you'll probably be the same as you were before you were born and that doesn't really scare me at. It's dying a horrendous death that terrifies me. If I die peacefully then dying doesn't scare me. Death doesn't either way.

I don't fear the actual dying part. It's the thought of being dead.

I know I'll just go back to the way I was prior to birth. But after experiencing life, the thought of that isn't soothing.

Calibos

I think the answer most of us will give is actually the exact opposite like Jernal. ie. Don't fear being dead but instead fear the 'Dying'. ie. Hope its quick and painless.

Yeah, when I think about 'being dead', it sucks that I'll miss the advances in science and technology. The thought of dying before my time sucks too. The thoughts of my loved ones being very upset when I die sucks. ie. I can think about being dead and it 'sucks' but does it make me feel afraid or do I fear it? No. The only part of it I fear is if I was wrong and the religious were right, that there really is a petty vengeful deity who condemns me to hell for taking the wrong parts of some holy book as literal and the wrong parts as metaphor.

Knasher

Like Jernal, I fear dying but I don't fear being dead. I don't believe in any type of after-life, so what is the point of fearing something you will never actually experience?

Daftendirekt

Best thing to do is just try and occupy your mind with something else. The idea of death is something you'll get used to, but it's really not worth spending too much mental energy on it.

ShooterSF

Every so often it hits me but it passes and I try and not think about it as there is little I can do to stop it. I wouldn't call it fear more like something I'm not all that looking forward to. The best you can do is to catch yourself doing it and remind yourself that you are wasting valuable limited living time on a pointless topic. "You have exactly one life in which to do everything you'll ever do. Act accordingly." - Colin Wright (I think. (But will love the irony if I'm wrong))

Weathering

I believe in god but I ain't a bible basher. I've never given death much thought but I don't feel the hopelessness you do as I 100pc believe in an afterlife. As a believer though,the thought of hell far out weighs a non believers nothingness. I think you'll agree lol.

Sounds to me like maybe you have a spiritual side to your personality as you don't believe in god etc it is coming to surface. I think some meditation like reki or yoga might settle you down on this front

Peregrinus

I don't see any evidence that this is a bigger problem for atheists/agnostics than it is for believers. Most of the time, believers and unbelievers alike deal with this problem by averting their minds from it. When we do focus on the problem our usual response is to reason that what really matters is now how we die but how we live, and a death bringing to an end a well-lived life is not a tragedy.

If anything, at least some believers have a problem that atheists/agnostics don't, since they beleive in the possibililty of eternal damnation, suffering, etc. At least some must believe that this is possible not only for others but for themselves, and therefore death must hold for them at least potential terrors which it cannot have for someone who denies the possiblity of an afterlife of any kind. The worst that faces an atheist is total extinction and that cannot be an unpleasant experience, since it can't be an experience at all.

Artful_Badger

Like the others the thought of being dead doesnt bother me as its something that wont be experienced. The transition from existence to non existence though is a little unnerving to think about as its the point at which you cease to be.

I think most of the fear comes from trying and failing to wrap your head around non existence. So I suppose the logical thing to do is just not think about the aftermath as for you there is no aftermath, you go unconscious and thats the end of it. So all you have to worry about is going unconscious which you do on a regular basis when you go to sleep.

nozzferrahhtoo

MarkyMark22 wrote: »

I don't fear the actual dying part. It's the thought of being dead.

It is the other way around for me. The process of actually dying holds all the terror for me. The actually being dead part... none at all.

Things unknown, unknowable, or unfathomable often terrify our species however. Perhaps some, or even all, of your terror stems from that? Contemplating nothingness... no subjective experience or awareness at all... is intellectually nigh impossible to achieve for many people. It is simply against all our intuitions to be able to consider "nothingness".... especially given there has to be a something considering the nothing which renders the process of contemplating it rocky at best.

That inability to really fathom it and understand it... as with all unknowns.... is terrifying to our species. Perhaps some root of your fear comes from that inability to really fathom the subject at all.

So the quick answer to your question "How can an atheist deal with or accept mortality?" is to face that fear. Here I would differ from Daftendirekt above in that he goes to the opposite extreme and brushes thought on it under the carpet.

Think about it often. Meditate on it. Be mindful of it. Explore it, try to understand and fathom it while at the same time recognizing that your entire make up is fighting against you being able to understand it like forcing a square peg into a round hole.

"I have no fear, for fear is the little death that kills me over and over. Without fear, I die but once."

Also when you fear life going on without you then consider the alternative. As Christopher Hitchens pointed out when he was alive: Being told you will die and it will all be over is like being at the best party ever and being told you eventually have to leave and it will go on without you.

The alternative is that during the party you get a tap on the shoulder by someone there to inform you that you can never leave. Ever. And while you are there your hosts _insist_ you have a good time.

Whatever about you, it is the latter scenario not the former that terrifies me. I am glad that, unlike Weathering above I see not an iota of argument, evidence, data or reasoning on offer to lend even a modicum of credence to the idea that that is the scenario on offer before us.

MrPudding

MarkyMark22 wrote: »

As an atheist, is it normal to have a fear of death?

I'm quite young but find I have a strong fear of being dead. Not dying.

The thought of not being alive and just nothingness.

The thought of life carrying on without me.

Does anyone else have this fear?

How can an atheist deal with or accept mortality?

i know what you mean. Like the others I fear a protracted a d painful death, which is one of the reasons I support euthanasia. But I do also fear being dead. Well actually, I don't think fear is quite the correct word.

I will miss my friends and my kids growing up, and all that good stuff. Of course I know that when I am dead I won't miss them, but that does not stop the thought of it from effecting me now.

So, in summary, I fear a painful death and the thought of not being with my family and friends makes me sad when I think about it. The fix? Try not to think about it and enjoy the only life and existence you will ever have.

MrP

MarkyMark22

I do try not to think of it, but every now and again something triggers it and its in my mind. I usually comfort myself by watching some hitchens' videos.

I guess it's the thought of missing out.

Missing out on developments in science. Missing out on developments in technology. Missing out on further evolution of both man and wildlife.

I don't think it's a fear that I will ever lose. I do think its something I will eventually accept. I guess I love life, and all walks of life, so greatly that the thought of not being a part of it saddens me.

MrPudding

MarkyMark22 wrote: »

I do try not to think of it, but every now and again something triggers it and its in my mind. I usually comfort myself by watching some hitchens' videos.

I guess it's the thought of missing out.

Missing out on developments in science. Missing out on developments in technology. Missing out on further evolution of both man and wildlife.

I don't think it's a fear that I will ever lose. I do think its something I will eventually accept. I guess I love life, and all walks of life, so greatly that the thought of not being a part of it saddens me.

That is exactly what it is, a fear of missing out, not a fear of death per se. Perhaps even tinged with a hint of jealously... :P

MrP

Geomy

MrPudding wrote: »

That is exactly what it is, a fear of missing out, not a fear of death per se. Perhaps even tinged with a hint of jealously... :P

MrP

I can identify with the fear of missing out.
Fortunately I have a good laid back life and have many hobbies,outdoor pursuits etc

There's always an adventure to be had somewhere and myself and my kid are always on the go,so I can say I fear missing out on seeing him grow up and enjoy life more than I fear death...

Life is short and I need to enjoy it as much as I can

Lingua Franca

As above, fear dying not death. Although that's negligible now that I live in a country where euthanasia is legal so a long lingering death from cancer or one of those horrific neurological disorders or lying bedridden for years from stroke is not on the cards for me.

MarkyMark22

I think both are directly linked, missing out and death.

As one is the outcome of the other.

You miss out because you're dead.

fatmammycat

Weathering wrote: »

I believe in god but I ain't a bible basher. I've never given death much thought but I don't feel the hopelessness you do as I 100pc believe in an afterlife. As a believer though,the thought of hell far out weighs a non believers nothingness. I think you'll agree lol.

Sounds to me like maybe you have a spiritual side to your personality as you don't believe in god etc it is coming to surface. I think some meditation like reki or yoga might settle you down on this front

I'd stay WELL away from reiki, woo driven garbage.

Dades

Not afraid of death, or even dying really.

But I agree with those who have more a fear, or resentment even, of missing out or leaving people behind. This is what I really don't like. Hopefully if you live to be old enough to know you've had a "good innings" then this, too, will fade away.

In the meantime, your health is your wealth, people!

Peregrinus

Yes. I think it will be a lot easier to die if, by the time that comes, you have done the really important things, like raising your kids to happy and indepenent adulthood, and seeing them settled in life. So perhaps what some of the posts here express is not so much a fear of death as a fear of early death.

Sarky

Death is the one thing in life you can utterly depend on not to let you down. I'd prefer not to die any time soon, as I'm still really quite enjoying myself and there's plenty more I want to do, like get that PhD, write a few papers, kick a bishop up the arse, visit Japan, have a threesome with Jessica Alba, and a clone of Jessica Alba...

But it's going to happen at some point. Even the most deluded hardcore bible-thumping zealot will agree that nothing you can do will stop you from dying. They'll tell you that the main event comes after you're dead, but I'm fairly confident that they're talking out of their hoop so I'm going to see what life has to offer before it all catches up, rather than spend my time denying myself most of the fun because some mythological bouncer to some mythological eternal nightclub might not have my name on the mythological list. F*ck you buddy, I'll wear the allegorical runners of tasty, tasty sin if I want to. Your club sounds like a pile of **** anyway. None of the good musicians ever end up there, and the drinks are terrible.

The inevitable isn't to be feared. Try embracing it. I mean if death doesn't scare you, bungee jumping off a bridge, or chatting up that pretty waitress is child's play.

Beruthiel

The thoughts of missing out on warp drive and the holodeck depress me at times.

Also, time is running out when it comes to me getting my hands on at least one of my 'no strings'!
Attempt number two will be instigated next September.

Sarky

In fairness the warp drive is bollocks. Folding space is where it's at.

Turtwig

Sarky wrote: »

In fairness the warp drive is bollocks. Folding space is where it's at.

Is not the folding and warping of spacetime the same thing?
Regardless, if there is a difference, both are obsolete. Infinite probability is where it's at.

Beruthiel

And cloning. If I could clone myself some body parts I might be around for longer.

Sarky

Well we're working on that. Might be some good news in the next decade, if you can hold out that long. A lot of old people I know claim they survive on spite, have you tried it? d:

HHobo

MarkyMark22 wrote: »

I don't fear the actual dying part. It's the thought of being dead.

I know I'll just go back to the way I was prior to birth. But after experiencing life, the thought of that isn't soothing.

I don't understand what there is for you to be afraid of. You definately won't be afraid once it happens. You won't be anything. You won't feel anything.

I'm not wild about the idea of death but it has nothing to do with the actually being dead part. I like experiencing stuff and I don't want that to stop just yet. I know if it happens though, I will vanish on that instant and will N.I.P. (non-exist in peace)

Geomy

Dreamless sleep.....

Kinski

Dades wrote: »

In the meantime, your health is your wealth, people!

Ruminating on death can actually be quite helpful in this respect, as doing so tends to encourage you to take care of yourself, cut out fatty foods, drive safely, stop smoking, etc. On smoking, when quitting, I had to remind myself constantly that I was only ever getting this one set of lungs...

Dades

I actually got a bit paranoid last month and went for a full checkup.

I was told I'd just get a text assuming everything was clear and had a freakin' heart attack when my doctor rang me the following week... fortunately just to tell me to stop taking vitamins as I ingesting more than my body could deal with!

In other good news I discovered nobody needs rubber gloves and KY jelly to check your prostate.

Artful_Badger

Dades wrote: »

In other good news I discovered nobody needs rubber gloves and KY jelly to check your prostate.

...... or a finger up the bum right ? Because if its only the jelly and gloves being removed from the scenario I'm not sure it would be classed as good news.

bnt

Author Iain Banks has recently been diagnosed with terminal cancer, and he's an atheist of long standing. Have a look at his statement on his illness, for an example of how an atheist can face death.

The bottom line, now, I'm afraid, is that as a late stage gall bladder cancer patient, I'm expected to live for 'several months' and it's extremely unlikely I'll live beyond a year. So it looks like my latest novel, The Quarry, will be my last.

As a result, I've withdrawn from all planned public engagements and I've asked my partner Adele if she will do me the honour of becoming my widow (sorry - but we find ghoulish humour helps). By the time this goes out we'll be married and on a short honeymoon. We intend to spend however much quality time I have left seeing friends and relations and visiting places that have meant a lot to us. Meanwhile my heroic publishers are doing all they can to bring the publication date of my new novel forward by as much as four months, to give me a better chance of being around when it hits the shelves.

Gambler

I kind of see death as a finishing line - I've got until then to do as much "right" as I can and then my time is up.

For me my "afterlife" is the consequences of my life here. What effect does my being here have on the world after I'm gone. Will I have raised decent kids who help make things better, have I left the lives of the people I've known better for knowing me or not (That's a tough one and I've not always gotten it right), that kind of thing.

Like everyone else I do think about the things I'm going to miss once I'm gone but I find the focus on what I can do when I'm alive keeps that in check.

MarkyMark22

bnt wrote: »

Author Iain Banks has recently been diagnosed with terminal cancer, and he's an atheist of long standing. Have a look at his statement on his illness, for an example of how an atheist can face death.

Scratch that...

bnt

MarkyMark22 wrote: »

Scratch that...

Scratch what?

MarkyMark22

bnt wrote: »

Scratch what?

I posted some wrong information about Iain Banks.

GCU Flexible Demeanour

MarkyMark22 wrote: »

As an atheist, is it normal to have a fear of death?

I'm quite young but find I have a strong fear of being dead. Not dying.

The thought of not being alive and just nothingness.

The thought of life carrying on without me.

Does anyone else have this fear?

How can an atheist deal with or accept mortality?

It's perfectly normal and, in my experience, it wears off over time. Buddha put a name on it when he said "all the unhappiness in the world is caused by the belief that impermanent things are permanent". Once you discover what you can give to other people, and feel you are giving them that as far as you are capable, I expect your fear will diminish.

bnt

Oh well. He's well-known as an atheist, in case that was what that was about. Quote from Celebrity Atheists:

Banks calls himself an 'evangelical atheist'. He talks of wanting 'to proselytise about the badness of religion, and to say that faith is wrong, belief without reason and question is just evil'.

Doesn't mince his words, then. I sincerely doubt he's going turn to religion in his last year, any more than Christopher Hitchens did - but I also imagine he has more important things on his mind than atheism.

MarkyMark22

GCU Flexible Demeanour wrote: »

It's perfectly normal and, in my experience, it wears off over time. Buddha put a name on it when he said "all the unhappiness in the world is caused by the belief that impermanent things are permanent". Once you discover what you can give to other people, and feel you are giving them that as far as you are capable, I expect your fear will diminish.

One hopes so.

With my current mentality, I somehow doubt it.

Seeing a psychologist is something I've considered to help with it, it's not that I think about death 24/7. I probably just think about it more than I should.

I'm a 22 year old, relatively healthy male. The thought of death shouldn't really be on my mind so much, but my unshakeable atheism leads it to be.

I think it's brought about through a love of life, science, nature and wildlife.

Its also lead me to become a vegetarian. The thought of an animal losing its life for my pleasure brings a sense of guilt to me.

Cork Boy

Ah we all have weird thoughts at 22, it'll pass and you'll become a much more cynical bastard and the thought of leaving the world won't be overly upsetting (says the 29 year old!!!).

For those religious lurkers out there, fear not eternal damnation... as Jim Jeffries said:

"Now as far as I know the devil hasn't written any book, we don't get his side of the story...maybe god is talking all this poopoo about him and he's just being the bigger man..."

Undergod

Death is flat-out terrifying.

Brian Shanahan

MarkyMark22 wrote: »

As an atheist, is it normal to have a fear of death?

I'm quite young but find I have a strong fear of being dead. Not dying.

The thought of not being alive and just nothingness.

The thought of life carrying on without me.

Does anyone else have this fear?

How can an atheist deal with or accept mortality?

Fear of death and what doesn't come after is one of the leading causes of religion IMO. If you look at many religions a big part of their mythology centres around the good afterlife true believers will get and the eternal damnation nonbelievers will receive.

Myself I don't really think about death, it's something that will happen so why worry? I'm actually kind of looking forward to finding out if I'm wrong on the whole god angle, if I'm right I'll never know;)

Kidchameleon

MarkyMark22 wrote: »

The thought of not being alive and just nothingness.

Why do you believe there is nothingness?

lukesmom

MarkyMark22 wrote: »

I don't fear the actual dying part. It's the thought of being dead.

I know I'll just go back to the way I was prior to birth. But after experiencing life, the thought of that isn't soothing.

You said you 'know' you'll go back to the way you were prior to birth. How do you know that?

Lingua Franca

Kidchameleon wrote: »

Why do you believe there is nothingness?

Because we're in the atheism and agnosticism forum.

Brian Shanahan

Kidchameleon wrote: »

Why do you believe there is nothingness?

Because that is what the evidence suggests, maybe?

Sarky

Going by what it was like before I was born, it seems logical to assume that being dead will be much the same.

Turtwig

Brian Shanahan wrote: »

Myself I don't really think about death, it's something that will happen so why worry? I'm actually kind of looking forward to finding out if I'm wrong on the whole god angle, if I'm right I'll never know;)

And if you're wrong, how'll you know it's not just that some insidious folk trapped you inside a virtual reality machine and feed the fake post death experiences to you?

Brian Shanahan

Jernal wrote: »

And if you're wrong, how'll you know it's not just that some insidious folk trapped you inside a virtual reality machine and feed the fake post death experiences to you?

I always take the red pill.:pac:

lukesmom

Brian Shanahan wrote: »

Because that is what the evidence suggests, maybe?

What is your evidence please?

MickFleetwood

You'll never even know about it, though. All you will experience is life.