Do you always say I love you first?

WittyKitty1

Do other females find that they are the first to say 'I love you' to your partner and then he replies with 'I love you too?".

I think the last time my boyfriend said I love you first was soon after we said I love you for the first time... Now he only says it if I say it first..

I'm not keeping count or anything it's not a competition of who says it the most means it the most or whatever. I know he loves me anyway from his action towards me...

I'm just wondering if it's a female thing to say it often? or are the words thrown about too much and actions speak louder than words?

What are people's opinions on it?

shoos

I'm not one for saying "I love you" all the time, I'd hate if my boyfriend said it every time we hanging up the phone or going to work for example. I think it might be because my family were never big "I love you-ers", it was only ever said when something bad had happened, someone was sick etc so I'm just not used to the words. Doesn't mean I don't feel them though, and he knows that so that's what really matters.

I also just feel that saying it all the time dilutes it a bit for me. I'd rather just say it when I get that random wave of "aw, I really love him" in my head and then say it out loud, and I'd rather hear it from him less often but with more meaning as well.

Completely depends on the person I would imagine, but I don't think there'd be any male/female divide on it. I know lots of male softies when it comes to that kind of thing

WittyKitty1

My family are very similar :P We are not big huggers and i love you-ers :P

To be honest, I personally think the words are thrown about a bit too easily by people without care... When I look at my boyfriend and his actions towards our relationship, I know that he loves me and I get that moment you spoke of "aw i love him" and say it.

Faith

Nope, he almost always says it first.

Das Kitty

I couldn't tell you who says it more or first in my relationship.

We do say it a lot, whenever we feel a rush of love, which is frequent! Our little guy is a big I love you-er too.

candy69

My husband says it all the time he rings me every night on his way home from work and when i say i have to go and check on dinner he always ends with i love you see you in a bit :P

Lia_lia

I never tell anyone I love them. Not even my parents.


(cold hearted)


:pac:

Princess Peach

I think maybe my boyfriend says it first a little more often than me, but not noticeably, just now that I think about it.

We tell each other very often, cause we are made of cheese.

xLexie

Lia_lia wrote: »

I never tell anyone I love them. Not even my parents.


(cold hearted)


:pac:

Usually the same. I tell my dogs though!
Hate the way it's thrown around, I have a friend who always ends our FaceTime chats with the dreaded sentence. I've never said it back, I keep it for special occasions like when my dog gives the paw.

TommieBoy

He always said the words - I never did. So now he says them to someone else. If I could go back, I would do it differently. Tell the ones you love you do... say it first and say it often. Life changes in an instant, permanently.

Lollipops23

My last two bfs said it first- it's not that I didn't know I felt it, I was just too cowardly to say it first (particularly the last bf :P) Turns out in the last case that we had both been about to say it for ages, but too nervous. Was so happy when he finally said it

I tend to not put myself out there on a limb very often, so I can see a pattern

Lola92

My OH said it first, I said it a couple of months later. I think I probably say it more often though. We don't tend to say it much wen we're together but more when I'm away during the week for college.

50SofG

Lia_lia wrote: »

I never tell anyone I love them. Not even my parents.


(cold hearted)


:pac:

you should really look into that Lia, maybe practice the words.;)

tiny_penguin

My boyfriend is a big softie and says it all the time and over the 2 years this has definitely rubbed off on me. Before this relationship if i had over heard a couple say it as much as we do I would have thought it a bit needy but it works for us. I mean it every time I say it and I know he does too. They words havent lost any meaning and I wouldnt change things for the world.

Legs.Eleven

Me fella is big on the I love yous. Must be the latin blood.

wolfpawnat

My partner and I never say it. Can't remember the last time we said it. I think the last time we texted it was about, 4 years ago. But we do love each other, we tend to say it with actions as opposed to words really. Or at least I hope so Otherwise I wasted 6 years of my life :pac: nah we do. We're just not romantic.

Ms.Sunshine

I find that I am the one to say it first A LOT of the time! I don't mind it but i thought that it was rather normal but after reading this forum i seem to be wrong!!!

inlikeflynn86

Ms.Sunshine wrote: »

I find that I am the one to say it first A LOT of the time! I don't mind it but i thought that it was rather normal but after reading this forum i seem to be wrong!!!

My boyfriend first said it, we were together a month. I replied with "thanks" i eventually said it when we were together 5 months.... (I was 15)

Its our thing, he says it and i thank him but he does tend to say it to more than me, i just say it when i feel it or when he does something to cheers me up

RhubarbCrumble

I've been in four long term relationships, and have never said it first.

Legs.Eleven

Ms.Sunshine wrote: »

I find that I am the one to say it first A LOT of the time! I don't mind it but i thought that it was rather normal but after reading this forum i seem to be wrong!!!

There's no norm for this, just outdated opinions that the man should be first. I wouldn't take the opinions of a handful of people then deduce what is the norm from them....

Dortilolma

I couldn't really say who says it first more. We don't say it casually; like some other folks have said here I tend to say it when I get that 'oh man he's so awesome, I love him' feeling and I think it's the same for him.

In all honesty I don't think there is a norm in this instance, everyone has their way of expressing how they feel. For some it's saying it, for others it's doing nice things or showing affection. Maybe the OP is verbally saying it first most but perhaps he is saying it first in his own way.

December2012

We tell each other all the time.

I tell those that I love that I love them, I don't need to hear it back.

But I usually do.

kat.mac

I've only been in one relationship where 'I love yous' were exchanged. I said it first, after a feed of drink, but I was fairly certain at the time that he wanted to say it as well so I just blurted. Sure enough, he'd been dying to say it also. In that situation, I don't think it makes a blind bit who says it first, as both are feeling it.

In terms of my non-romantic relationships, I think I say it a good bit, but only to the select few who deserve it. I'm an open book by nature and just tend to say whet I'm thinking!

Morag

I am usually more inclined to say that I hate them, in a funny teasing way rather then I love them at first.

Ilyana 2.0

My boyfriend said it first initially, but I tend to say it first now. We don't say it everyday, we're not a 'night, love you' couple. Usually once or twice a week perhaps.

I say it to my family all the time though, usually when saying goodnight. They always said it to us as children so it's just second nature now.

misslt

I end every phone call with my sister and parents with I love you.

To himself it's maybe a few times a day if I'm in a good mood, if not he'll be lucky to get a nice word out of me :P

He said it first to me. I replied with 'really?!' in a totally disbelieving tone.

Very nice :pac: