Single aged 30 and beyond

Wurly

Hi ladies.

Apologies if this has been done before.

But i'm just wondering how you girls find being single at age 30+. In your 20's its all about pubs and clubs and most of your girlfriends are on the same page. When you hit 30 or even younger, a lot of your friends settle down to get engaged, married and have kids.

What do you do to have a happy life free from a relationship? Where do you go to meet new people when all of your friends have settled? How do you keep your life as vibrant and as interesting as possible? What do you do when the dreaded questions of 'when will you meet someone' crop up from well meaning friends and relatives? How do you quash your fears of ending up alone, if you even have these fears?

I ask these questions because i've been there. And i'm wondering how I would handle things if it happened to me tomorrow. Some of my 20's involved handling a lot of the above quite badly.

I have some gorgeous friends who are single that struggle with the above and wish away their lives wishing they were attached. They feel so out of the loop because their circles are settling down. I'd love it if some single ladies would share their experiences of being fun and fabulous at aged 30 and beyond!

LegacyUser

Most of my friends are married and have had their first kids. It hasn't stopped us being friends or having nights out, I never really understand the mentality that if you're single and your friends are "settled" that the friendship stops. I'm 37 and single. I no longer am interested in going out clubbing every weekend, I think that's just a natural progression. I still have nights out with my friends, they have all partners and /or babysitters so their lives haven't stopped because of children. I also meet them for cinema trips etc mid week.

If someone ask me "when I'm going to meet someone" i'd tell them to F**K off and mind their own business I have a great life, and am happy, I would like to meet someone but it hasn't happened (and indeed may never happen) and I'm ok with that. Wishing you life away is just a waste of time. Life doesn't turn out the way many people think and people need to learn to live in the present and enjoy life instead of wishing for a different life that may never happen. Some people go on about being single likes it's a disease, I never really understand it.

xLexie

One of my close friends is getting married in two months at the ripe ole age of 24. The idea actually fills me with dread. Wouldn't be my cup of tea at all.

If I can get to 30, heart unscathed, ill be a happy woman

Wurly

I feel the same way as you girls. It's so refreshing to hear these viewpoints. The fear that exists around this topic is overwhelming for some. And you're right - wishing your life away is a total waste of time.

I've learned that being single is SO much better than being in the wrong relationship any day of the week. But you're right when you say that some people in our society view being single as some form of a disease!:pac: It's pathetic really.:)

athtrasna

I'm in a slightly different situation - separated about 18 months after a 10 year relationship/marriage. 36 now..and it feels so weird to be single, not in bad way...I'm a happy single. But sometimes I'm out and I see older women throwing themselves at guys in the pub and I have a minor inner panic that some day I may be THAT desperate. I hope not!

mood

Most of my friends are married and hardly ever go out any more. Meeting over Christmas is even an ordeal with them! I still go out with my few single friends but they are few and far between at this stage.

miamee

mood wrote: »

Most of my friends are married and hardly ever go out any more. Meeting over Christmas is even an ordeal with them! I still go out with my few single friends but they are few and far between at this stage.

Same here regarding people I have been friends with a long time, we grew up together but they are all settled, married with kids now. I visit them but we never go out any more and when we do it's a big operation to find times and days that somewhere to suit everyone's budget, etc. More hassle than it's worth!

I do lots of things by myself or with friends I have made in the past few years. Lots of my time outside of work is spent on theatre, museums, galleries, anything fun and different that might be on in the city, visiting my friends and family, eating out, watching movies or tv, reading, hopefully getting back into cooking now too...plenty of things to keep anyone occupied. I'm not thinking too much about being single. I am 35 and have been single for a lot longer than I have ever been in a relationship. I might meet someone and I might not but I think I'll be ok either way. It might be lonely at times but it won't kill me. I've been doing it for long enough and actually I'd rather spend time alone than with 'not the right person' if you know what I mean. Why be miserable when I could just be enjoying my own company?

eviltwin

mood wrote: »

Most of my friends are married and hardly ever go out any more. Meeting over Christmas is even an ordeal with them! I still go out with my few single friends but they are few and far between at this stage.

That annoys me too and I'm married. I have a few friends who married in the past year, no kids and they all live locally. They never go out on their own anymore, if we do meet up its usually with their husbands. In the past year we've met on our own maybe 3/4 times. I don't get it at all, I've always been careful to make time for my friends, my husband and I make sure we still have our own space. You need it.

What really bugs me is that their husbands have great social lives, they are out at least once a month with the boys so it seems very unfair their wives don't make the same effort.

cantdecide

eviltwin wrote: »

What really bugs me is that their husbands have great social lives, they are out at least once a month with the boys so it seems very unfair their wives don't make the same effort.

+1

Speaking as a single guy, I think it's your duty in a relationship to make sure neither yourself or partner end up in the rut of neglecting your own interests and life outside the relationship. I'm at an age where I might often see relationships end leaving both parties struggling to regain the lives they had before the relationship.

eviltwin

miamee wrote: »

Same here regarding people I have been friends with a long time, we grew up together but they are all settled, married with kids now. I visit them but we never go out any more and when we do it's a big operation to find times and days that somewhere to suit everyone's budget, etc. More hassle than it's worth!

We can't ignore the recession, thats a big part of it too. I certainly wouldn't have the funds I used to have to go out so I'm home a lot more than I used to be. I would guess more people are staying in because going out, taxis, babysitters are just out of their price range at the moment.

Legs.Eleven

I'm not single and nearly all my friends are in relationships here except one. I'm very conscious to make an effort to head out with her (it's not a chore - it's always good fun) because you can get lazy in a relationship and just decide to stay in as you have each other for company. I've never been that way personally and have always had my life separate from my partner but many people don't.

I've been dropped completely by friends in relationships over the years, which is fine initially but not when their relationship is approaching a year. I get the distinct impression I was used as someone to go out with to find someone and was never valued as a friend in the first place (although they've dropped all their friendships, not just me). I also think to myself, "what the fook are they doing?!". It's just a huuuuuge mistake to drop your friends like that and the height of disrespect. So many people are stuck without friends after a breakdown of a relationship because they never bothered their arses to maintain them. Serves them right tbh.

jaja321

I’m in a relationship and sometimes wish more of my friends were around for regular nights out…. it’s so important to have a life outside your relationship. I have a single friend and another friend who is in a relationship but has no kids who I meet up with quite regularly for nights out, but apart from that it can be hard. Most of my friends have kids so finding the time and money to have nights out can be tough for them. Everything has to be very much planned and pre-arranged.

I have started to host more dinners and drinks in my apartment though as I think it’s more affordable for people and it’s a good way to catch up and that’s improving things. I also try and plan ahead now a bit so I can make sure I see people although I definitely miss the spontaneity. Apart from that I have my own interests and hobbies outside of work that keep be busy and I love to travel so I try (where funds allow) to plan somewhere fun to go each year.

um7y1h83ge06nx

I echo pretty much everything said as a guy.

I'm 30 and in a relationship, so are most of my friends. I'd like to head out more with the lads but they've gotten lazy and I think it's due to being in a relationship.

We used to head out and about at least once a week, now it's gone to once a month.

As people have said it's important to maintain your own independence and social life when in a relationship. I love heading out with the girlfriend, either on our own or with our friends. Sometimes though, it's just nice to be with the lads, whether it's some quiet ones on a high stool or being in more lively places.

I wonder is it down to learning the importance of friendships from previous relationships? The guy I hang out with most is also in a relationship currently and also was previously in a long term relationship, just like me. The others are in their first long term and maybe they don't see the importance of keeping the friendship links strong, unlike me who felt a bit adrift after the previous relationship ended?

Just a thought.

Honey-ec

Sawyer Unkempt Wish wrote: »

I wonder is it down to learning the importance of friendships from previosu relationships? The guy I hang out with most is also in a relationship currently and also was previously in a long term relationship, just like me. The others are in their first long term and maybe they don't see the importance of keeping the friendship links strong, unlike me who felt a bit adrift after the previous relationship ended as I?

Just a thought.

I'd say a large part of it is that part of the reason they used to go out so much was in order to meet women and now that they're in relationships, they don't need to do that anymore.

Not saying that it's right to give up socialising with your friends; but I would suspect that there's an element of "Sure I have a mot now, I don't need to go out anymore."

um7y1h83ge06nx

Honey-ec wrote: »

I'd say a large part of it is that part of the reason they used to go out so much was in order to meet women and now that they're in relationships, they don't need to do that anymore.

Not saying that it's right to give up socialising with your friends; but I would suspect that there's an element of "Sure I have a mot now, I don't need to go out anymore."

Yeah there would be that of course, it's the same for most of us I think. I just wonder if some don't realise that meeting up with friends is something more than just a way to head out and meet the opposite sex?

I think I just learned that from experience. When the ex and I broke up I regretted not keeping the links with my friends stronger and realised that it wasn't healthy to neglect my friends too much. Thankfully it didn't affect our friendship much and I was able to strengthen the bonds again.

4MeRuca

I agree with sonic, I think his mates in the first time serious buzz may be risking a lot.
I think learning how to maintain your friendships and the people you actually have in your life is ten times more important that any relationship that may come along. I've made the mistake meself of becoming infatuated with someone and spending loads of time with them and neglecting my friends. After two really bad break ups, I'd definitely say that I appreciate my friends more than I ever did. I'm glad I had them to fall back on. It's simple logic if you think about it, if you can't maintain a friendship how are you supposed to make your life completely devoted to one person forever? Some people really think they live in a mills and boon's novel. Where they snag the perfect man/woman at 30 odd or under and live in co-dependent harmony forever. Bull****. Relationships are great and all I don't regret any of mine, you always love someone a little bit blah blah blah but they come and go ninety percent of the time. You can only stay with one person for the rest of your life once like ha. Having kids or getting married isn't even the fail safe that it was years ago and that something that's more and more common. There's plenty of divorced people and people with kids from ex partners out there. The world doesn't owe you happy ever after, but you can give a go and if not at least have one person who can put up with your ****e for more than 5 minutes to get pissed with.

LegacyUser

Well I am in my early 40's and single.
Some of my friends live a distance away from me - some of them are single and the others are in relationships/are married/have families. I keep in contact with the majority of them but they make the effort with me also. I try to meet up with them every few weeks.
Meanwhile I have another friend who lives near me. Since Christmas I have got one text message as I decided that I was not going to contact them for a while.
One of my male friends was engaged to a woman who cheated on him. There relationship ended and he was glad that he did not dump his friends when she came along.
I know some couples who are like each others shadow's and have no life except him or her.
Other couples I know enjoy different things. They keep up there own interests and friends which benefits them long term.
I know several woman who marriages broke up. They were lucky that they keep up there friendships after they got married as there friends helped them out at the time.

April O Neill

cantdecide wrote: »

+1

Speaking as a single guy, I think it's your duty in a relationship to make sure neither yourself or partner end up in the rut of neglecting your own interests and life outside the relationship.

I totally agree.

It's not healthy, and ya know what else? It's not fair on your friends. I've seen it happen that people get out of relationships and all of a sudden they're trying to organise nights out all the time with the very friends they neglected when in a relationship. This is with both sexes too. It's not on.

puppieperson

Hey I am single and just touching 50, recently divorced i have never been happier, a small house and complete control of my life its total bliss. marriage and big relationships are soo over rated by those in them that they try to make the singles feel inadequate. I have lived both side s and being happy, single, able to afford a few luxuries and a few nice friends to have food or a movie ,play or concert with is just heaven.

Dont feel bad about you r single lives they are the best you will ever have enjoy them and dont waste them looking for mr right of mr right now or worst still mr he'll do. Stop allowing the smug married to affect you there are many many days when they wish they were you .....

panda100

I'm 30,and have been single for quite a while now. I enjoy doing things by myself, and enjoy my own company, and can't really envisage myself getting married.Most, if not all of my friends are paired off now, and having weddings and making babies. I would say I am very happily single though.

The only time I am uncomfortable with my singledness is when I go to weddings by myself. The singles table gets smaller every year at weddings, and it can be bit embarrasing not having a partner at them.

I think what annoys me the most is the double standars that exist for men who are single at 30, and women that are single at 30. My brother is 33 and single, and my parents never ask him about when he plans to settle down. With me, my parents are always telling me the importancce of meeting a husband and having children. It's sooo annoying especially when marriage and kids aren't even on your radar.

sassyj

panda100 wrote: »

I'm 30,and have been single for quite a while now. I enjoy doing things by myself, and enjoy my own company, and can't really envisage myself getting married.Most, if not all of my friends are paired off now, and having weddings and making babies. I would say I am very happily single though.

The only time I am uncomfortable with my singledness is when I go to weddings by myself. The singles table gets smaller every year at weddings, and it can be bit embarrasing not having a partner at them.

I think what annoys me the most is the double standars that exist for men who are single at 30, and women that are single at 30. My brother is 33 and single, and my parents never ask him about when he plans to settle down. With me, my parents are always telling me the importancce of meeting a husband and having children. It's sooo annoying especially when marriage and kids aren't even on your radar.

Sngles table ???? Please tell me this American tradition hasn't crept into Ireland.

molly09

my friends dropped me like a hot plate as they met up with their respective partners. i try so hard to meet new friends/or partners, joing new clubs, through work, online dating sites etc, but it is really difficult.
I would love to meet someone, I find life terrible lonely, I worry I will never have children , I know I could go out and get pregnant or get sperm somehow but that is not whta I would want for my offspring, if possible.
I go on holidays alone, go to the cinema alone, its all very difficult o be honest. My friends that did not drop me are either saving for a wedding, pregnant or after having a baby. I find weddings totally impossible. I know some people has no problem with been single but for me I am finding it very difficult.

Addle

I'm single and in my early 30s. I'm not long out of a long term relationship.

Couples are great, until they break up or something goes wrong and then you hear the unbelievable **** a lot of people put up with.

I don't know of one relationship I 100% admire.
I'm really happy and so glad i only have myself to look after. I don't care if others think me selfish for feeling like that.

I really believe if you're not independently happy, a relationship won't make you so.

wandatowell

Addle wrote: »

I really believe if you're not independently happy, a relationship won't make you so.

+1

Its a matter of confidence imo. Being confident to be on your own while friends settle down and do their own thing. There is no need to be worried about being single in your 30's in this day and age.

I made the decision not to get into relationships during my 20's and I swear it was the making of me (being honest I lasted till I was 28 before meeting my lady). I had so much fun going away with mates for weekends, holidays, nice cars, getting my own house and being independant as best I could. Not being tied down was a big thing for me. I was selfish to a point but my whole point was having as much as possible. If it wasn't fun I didn't do it. End of.

Myself and two single mates decided over hangover beers on a Monday that we would go to a Champions League game in London the next day and off we went. My tied down mates wouldnt even consider it, with their usual excuse "Sure I wouldnt be allowed"

Jesus man!!!

I've had mates who have been in relationships for years and tbh a lot of the time they just bitched and moan about the OH, then after a few drinks there would often be a verbal arguement within one couple. Who the hells wants that hassle when their out?

Some people have some ingrained idea that they have to be with somebody.

I guess what Im trying to say is that I waited before meeting somebody and I think its the best decision I've made.

Each to their own .


Thanks for reading my 2 cents

eviltwin

puppieperson wrote: »

Hey I am single and just touching 50, recently divorced i have never been happier, a small house and complete control of my life its total bliss. marriage and big relationships are soo over rated by those in them that they try to make the singles feel inadequate. I have lived both side s and being happy, single, able to afford a few luxuries and a few nice friends to have food or a movie ,play or concert with is just heaven.

Dont feel bad about you r single lives they are the best you will ever have enjoy them and dont waste them looking for mr right of mr right now or worst still mr he'll do. Stop allowing the smug married to affect you there are many many days when they wish they were you .....

You're post reads like there is a competition out there between the singles and the couples. Do people really see it like this? I'm glad you feel you are in a better place post divorce but there is nothing wrong with wanting to be in a relationship either.

Addle

There's nothing wrong with wanting to be in a relationship, but there is something wrong if your happiness is dependent on finding a relationship.

Legs.Eleven

Ah hear! Lots of posters making it out like being in a relationship is hell on Earth or those that are married are automatically smug and it's inevitable you're going to meet someone controlling who won't let you do what you want to do. Some people ARE happy in relationships you know. Some people aren't. Some people are happy single, some people aren't. There's a whole load of grey area too.


Convincing yourself that relatonships are like some kind of death sentence is just as bad as me thinking that being single is sad, pathetic lonely and something to be pitied when I know that that is not the case at all having been single and been happy.


Happiness doesn't depend on if you're single or not. It depends on yourself.

krudler

April O Neill wrote: »

I totally agree.

It's not healthy, and ya know what else? It's not fair on your friends. I've seen it happen that people get out of relationships and all of a sudden they're trying to organise nights out all the time with the very friends they neglected when in a relationship. This is with both sexes too. It's not on.

That drive me nuts, nowhere to be seen while in relationships then once they're single they're Mr/Ms social lives, trying to get you out every weekend cos they're on the hunt again. Whereas before you'd struggle to get them to go to the cinema or have a night doing nothing more than beers and tv cos the other had something to say about it.

I'm a big believer that time apart in a relationship is as important as time together, you need seperate lives with your own friends, if friends become mutual ones to both of you through each other then hey, great, bigger social circles and all that, but this idea that all your free time should be spent together isn't healthy.
I dont want a relationship where I'm resented for wanting to head out with the lads or even just do something on my own for an evening, and likewise I wouldnt want a partner ditching her friends for me, balance and all that.

solerina

I am in a relationship, I still go out once or twice a month (same amount as when I was single) and with the same gang I used to go out with as they are all still single the only difference is my OH comes along too....I was feb up of being dropped by every friend as they got into relationships that I made a decision to not do the same thing (the friends I do go out with are new ones I made after 6 months of sitting in having noone to go out with.....its because of them that I met my OH so I will keep going out with them and not let them down)

OnTheCouch

Many responses to this thread have pleasantly surprised me. My own experience was that one of the saddest things about successful relationships was the tendency of about 70-80% of these people (both men and women), to slowly but surely, yet very obviously, reduce the time they spent with their previous friends. Similar to other posters, I tended to feel slightly used, especially when children weren't involved, as it felt like I was only useful for drinking company until someone better came along. Granted, if I suggest something many of them will still meet up, but it is always me who initiates things and more often than not the experience feels oh so brief, transient and rushed, as if it's a chore for them to endure for a few hours before frantically returning to the other half. So to see other people say that this does not happen to them is encouraging.

Actually now that I think about it a bit more, my female friends tend to be much better at keeping up contact even when in a loving relationship. I wonder is this biological, the man feeling a subconscious need to play the hunter-gatherer role for his mate above everything else?

Goldenlady

I am really enjoying this thread. I am 34 single, 6 months out of an 8 year relationship and I just find it so funny that people are feeling sorry for me. I had a great relationship, a lot better than some of my friends current relationships but we wanted different things. I made the decision to be single, I fear that too many people stay in relationships as they are afraid to be on their own. All my friends are married and either pregnant or have kids so yes at times I miss the company and spend a lot of week ends in front of the telly (like tonight!) BUT I dont need any ones pity. I have a good job, good salary, my own place etc and most of all I am happy. Yes I still have the things in my life I would like to change, like weight, fitness etc, but I had these when in a relationship. I always find when reading some threads on here that people believe that a realtionship will bring happiness, but it wont unless you bring it with you. I am happy to be on my own, if I meet someone so be and I certainly wouldnt be with someone for the sake of it. I hate the comments i get from friends at times - saying they cant go out every week end with me, I am like , Hello, Im 34 the last thing I want to do it go out every week end. Its all about attitude, I am not ready to meet anyone yet and I dont know how long it will be before I am but I am very happy in my life and dont need sympathy from anyone. As someone said earlier, being single is not a disease, and for me at the moment its a choice!

Addle

Goldenlady wrote: »

I just find it so funny that people are feeling sorry for me.

Agree with all you said. People are often comically patronising.

blackbelted

Got married at the age of 27. Lived in both single life and married life. Its great to be free to do anything you want at anytime. But you can still do this when you have an easygoing partner and no kids. It's also more fun and reliable to have someone beside you in any stage of your life. Have an aunt who is still single and 55 years old. She is totally fine and enjoying her life. My mum who is 2 years younger then her has much more to enjoy about her kids graduations, jobs, grandchildren and a husband who companies her. At the end of the day, I think everyone needs someone to share a senior life together and have kids to be proud of when they look at past.

Honey-ec

blackbelted wrote: »

. At the end of the day, I think everyone needs someone to share a senior life together and have kids to be proud of when they look at past.

Well we'll agree to disagree there, because I don't think anyone needs kids in order to feel proud.

How utterly insulting to people who are child-free by choice.

Addle

Honey-ec wrote: »

Well we'll agree to disagree there, because I don't think anyone needs kids in order to feel proud.

How utterly insulting to people who are child-free by choice.

Agree.

And there's no certainty you'll have kids that merit being proud of!
Depending on your kids/a partner to get you through your senior years is very foolish.
No guarantees in life.

blackbelted

My post has nothing close to insulting.
I didnt say you wont be proud in your life if you dont have kid.
It's your own choice to get it that way.

Honey-ec

blackbelted wrote: »

My post has nothing close to insulting.
I didnt say you wont be proud in your life if you dont have kid.
It's your own choice to get it that way.

I quoted you directly. You came right out and said that everyone needs kids to be proud of when they look at their past.

There's really only one way people can take that, tbh.

Nymeria

blackbelted wrote: »

My post has nothing close to insulting.
I didnt say you wont be proud in your life if you dont have kid.
It's your own choice to get it that way.

I think they were referring to this little gem: At the end of the day, I think everyone needs someone to share a senior life together and have kids to be proud of when they look at past.

Fair enough if that's your opinion, but blanket statements like 'everyone needs' or everyone should is always gonna piss somebody off. It's not up to you or me to determine what 'everyone needs' in their life.

ladysarah

i have turned 40 and LOVING my own space, i am single by choice and not in a relationship for the sake of been seen to been in one

lisasimpson

yes thirty seems to be an adjusting time of your life, I have/had one friends who I saw every week and now since the ring appeared I haven't seen her gave up making a effort. she is still out loads but with engaged or married people. its like she thinks id be off on the pull and shes not into that. but that's not what nights out are for me. I like going out having a drink or two in a pub while having a chat up. im not big into night clubs. then over Christmas not one of my home friends bothered getting in contact to see how long was I home for. if I hadn't been sick I would have been the one texting them all to make arrangements to met
like a previous poster said I also feel a bit lonely at times, the same group isn't there for concerts, cinema etc and id love to share experiences with.

ash23

A friend and I were chatting over the weekend. She is in a LTR, living with her partner and they have a gaggle of kids.
I have been living alone for 6 years and have had relationships but am currently single. I was slightly lamenting my single status and she was saying she would love to be me.

Herself and her dp aren't getting on, she never gets a minute to herself and basically she thinks my life is great. Just me and one (older) child, my own space, I can work (she stays at home because childcare would be too dear).

I've been envying her life and she's been envying mine. I think sometimes we focus too much on what we don't have.
I'm going to try seeing my life in a more positive way.

seenitall

^^ Yup, I've also started getting the same vibe off a long-time married friend recently (I'm in a similar enough position to yourself). I think her marriage is still happy and all, but I do have a lot more freedom than her (she has a good few kids), and at some point some folks with very busy lives start missing that I guess, it's only natural.

I have to admit, her attitude did perk me up a bit, I just thought: "Oh hey, look, the person who I have always thought of as sorted, feels that my life is great - there must be something to it then!"

ash23

Lol, exactly seenitall.

I was thinking about never having a minute to myself, never getting a lie in or being able to watch tv in peace. Always having mountains of washing and cooking and cleaning.........that's the plus side to a quiet household I guess.

Obviously her life has it's advantages too but I suppose I need to see that my life also has it's perks and focus more on that than on the negatives.

um7y1h83ge06nx

ash23 wrote: »

A friend and I were chatting over the weekend. She is in a LTR, living with her partner and they have a gaggle of kids.
I have been living alone for 6 years and have had relationships but am currently single. I was slightly lamenting my single status and she was saying she would love to be me.

Herself and her dp aren't getting on, she never gets a minute to herself and basically she thinks my life is great. Just me and one (older) child, my own space, I can work (she stays at home because childcare would be too dear).

I've been envying her life and she's been envying mine. I think sometimes we focus too much on what we don't have.
I'm going to try seeing my life in a more positive way.

This made me think of the movie The Change-Up!

The Change-Up IMDB

Growing up together, Mitch (Ryan Reynolds) and Dave (Jason Bateman) were inseparable best friends, but as the years have passed they've slowly drifted apart. While Dave is an overworked lawyer, husband and father of three, Mitch has remained a single, quasi-employed man-child who has never met a responsibility he liked. To Mitch, Dave has it all: beautiful wife Jamie (Leslie Mann), kids who adore him and a high-paying job at a prestigious law firm. To Dave, living Mitch's stress-free life without obligation or consequence would be a dream come true.

Far away hills look greener sometimes. Most of the time I'm completely happy to be in a great, chilled out LTR. Sometimes though I think back to the single lads nights out and all that.

illuma

Wurly wrote: »

What do you do to have a happy life free from a relationship? Where do you go to meet new people when all of your friends have settled? How do you keep your life as vibrant and as interesting as possible? What do you do when the dreaded questions of 'when will you meet someone' crop up from well meaning friends and relatives? How do you quash your fears of ending up alone, if you even have these fears?

Tbh I find that women usually get the auld, "ahh the right guy will come along," and I think women can fall back on that old excuse, "I just haven't met the right guy yet." That's not an excuse men can make as they usually need to do the chasing.

As for what makes you happy outside of a relationship? That could be anything. Everyone has something they enjoy. I think people get too obsessed with trying to find someone and stop enjoying themselves. You need to be happy with yourself first and foremost.