Which bunk is better in prison?

Marsellus Wallace

Bottom bunk seems nice because you can put a sheet up and make a fort, but what if the person on the top bunk pees in his sleep? Top bunk has the pro of feeling less confined but you could get shanked through the mattress from the guy in the bottom bunk...

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Marsellus Wallace wrote: »

Bottom bunk seems nice because you can put a sheet up and make a fort, but what if the person on the top bunk pees in his sleep? Top bunk has the pro of feeling less confined but you could get shanked through the mattress from the guy in the bottom bunk...

Withotu knowing what getting "shaked through the mattress" is, what is so unique abour prison? Same could be said for any bunk beds.

CardBordWindow

It's much easier to wash out pee, than a shank.

conorhal

Marsellus Wallace wrote: »

Bottom bunk seems nice because you can put a sheet up and make a fort, but what if the person on the top bunk pees in his sleep? Top bunk has the pro of feeling less confined but you could get shanked through the mattress from the guy in the bottom bunk...

So to surmise your question, 'when in prison, is it better to be a top or a bottom.....'

I guess the answer lies in how effectively you can handle yourself in the showers. Good luck!

Marsellus Wallace

Ikky Poo2 wrote: »

Withotu knowing what getting "shaked through the mattress" is, what is so unique abour prison? Same could be said for any bunk beds.

Getting stabbed through the mattress with a prison knife "shank"...

MidlandsM

you going in soon OP?

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Marsellus Wallace wrote: »

Getting stabbed through the mattress with a prison knife "shank"...

ah, ok. Bottom bunk, so. Unless the guy in the top bunk is a 7 year old.

FatherLen

shank or be shanked op

Kylo Ren

I'd always be paranoid the bunk would collapse if I was on the bottom.

Here is the best bunk.

Duggy747

Well, you have to assert yourself once you're in prison and you have to show you won't take shìt from your cellmate if you're to survive.

So, first things first, start flinging your poo at your cellmate. That should buy you some time on which bunk you want.

Marsellus Wallace

MidlandsM wrote: »

you going in soon OP?

Maybe, I got caught selling red diesel to motorists...

MidlandsM

Marsellus Wallace wrote: »

Maybe, I got caught selling red diesel to motorists...

.....ahhh, doubt you'll see the joy over that? first offence?

Marsellus Wallace

Keno 92 wrote: »

I'd always be paranoid the bunk would collapse if I was on the bottom.

Here is the best bunk.

Marsellus Wallace

MidlandsM wrote: »

.....ahhh, doubt you'll see the joy over that? first offence?

Yes, first offence that I have been caught for.

Banjo String

Does the op look like a bitch?

Marsellus Wallace

Duggy747 wrote: »

So, first things first, start flinging your poo at your cellmate. That should buy you some time on which bunk you want.

:eek: Thats just soo wrong!

This actually reminds me of a very british gangster 2, Noonan smothered himself and his cell in his own poo.

Marsellus Wallace

SamHall wrote: »

Does the op look like a bitch?

stephen_k

In prison it's always better to be a "top" than a "bottom", OP...

Death and Taxes

Marsellus Wallace wrote: »

Getting stabbed through the mattress with a prison knife "shank"...

Which is about as common in Ireland as purple polka dot penguins!

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CardBordWindow wrote: »

It's much easier to wash out pee, than a shank.

You'd need a lot of wee to get through a mattress (even a prison one).

Marsellus Wallace

WileyCoyote wrote: »

Which is about as common in Ireland as purple polka dot penguins!

I think I have watched too many of those American prison documentaries on youtube.

PirateShampoo

Well if you're going to survive on the inside I recommend that you gt your self the "Oz" dvd box set and watch and learn.

Remember news papers aren't just for reading, it also makes good body armour.

Seachmall

PirateShampoo wrote: »

Well if you're going to survive on the inside I recommend that you gt your self the "Oz" dvd box set and watch and learn.

Day 1: **** on a Neo-Nazi's face.
Day 2: Find a homosexual sociopath to fall in love with.
Day 3: Grow a beard.
Day 4: Shank motherfuckers!

Congratulations, you are now a hardened criminal! May you enjoy your remaining days in prison.

Marsellus Wallace

Seachmall wrote: »

Day 1: **** on a Neo-Nazi's face.
Day 2: Find a homosexual sociopath to fall in love with.
Day 3: Grow a beard.
Day 4: Shank motherfuckers!

Congratulations, you are now a hardened criminal! May you enjoy your remaining days in prison.

:eek:

I was thinking I could just make a lot of toilet wine, get all the other prisoners drunk so we could all be friends and party.

Haveadayoff

Bottom bunk mate, so you can jack off as much as ya like

Seachmall

Marsellus Wallace wrote: »

:eek:

I was thinking I could just make a lot of toilet wine, get all the other prisoners drunk so we could all be friends and party.

If you want to you can do that on Day 5, but no sooner!

Haveadayoff

Seachmall wrote: »

If you want to you can do that on Day 5, but no sooner!

Hes right you know lol.

sbsquarepants

Ikky Poo2 wrote: »

Withotu knowing what getting "shaked through the mattress" is, what is so unique abour prison? Same could be said for any bunk beds.

True, but your little brother is less likely to stab you death in your sleep for snoring than some random rapist / murderer is.

Conall Cernach

Fletcher had the top bunk in Porridge and he was an old lag so he must have had the best one.

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Conall Cernach wrote: »

Fletcher had the top bunk in Porridge and he was an old lag so he must have had the best one.

Ah.... Porridge....
Just like real prison without the intimidation, loss of self image, power & rape

CrazyRabbit

Kill your cell mate and then you can alternate between top and bottom bunks each night.

Holsten

I know you usually have to fight to see which bunk you get.

If you're a "playa" you get a bottom bunk, if you're a "mark" you get a top bunk.

Capt'n Midnight

Marsellus Wallace wrote: »

I think I have watched too many of those American prison documentaries on youtube.

Watch Oz instead.

Boombastic

If prisoner cell block H is anything to go by, if you get on ironing duties, you get the respect

dd972

Read an article about Norwegian prisons, they actually look better than being free over here ! For all the banter here about Prisons being some testosterone crazed cross between Scum and Shawshank, most people in there probably sit around drinking tea and playing scrabble all day.

charlemont

The bottom bunk is actually the best as climbing up and down a ladder in the night to take a slash is annoying, Normally the prisoner who has been in the cell the longest will choose so most newcomers gotta go top..

Ruudi_Mentari

dd972 wrote: »

Read an article about Norwegian prisons, they actually look better than being free over here ! For all the banter here about Prisons being some testosterone crazed cross between Scum and Shawshank, most people in there probably sit around drinking tea and playing scrabble all day.

did Anders look particularly rattled? that twee place.. where you can massacre a load of children only to be denied face balm

I don't care what bunk; you won't sleep well with a 3 man gang in a cell regardless. Where is option to drag mattress out onto landing

Wacker The Attacker

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yZyTRiHT8IA

morlock_

charlemont wrote: »

The bottom bunk is actually the best as climbing up and down a ladder in the night to take a slash is annoying, Normally the prisoner who has been in the cell the longest will choose so most newcomers gotta go top..

Not directly at you charlemont but what you say reminded me of interviews Louis Theroux had with inmates of a Miami Correction Facility.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZVqbAUMM9A

At around the 28 minute mark, Louis goes into one of the cells where they discuss bunk privileges and who gets top or bottom.

Ghost Buster

Marsellus Wallace wrote: »

Bottom bunk seems nice because you can put a sheet up and make a fort, but what if the person on the top bunk pees in his sleep? Top bunk has the pro of feeling less confined but you could get shanked through the mattress from the guy in the bottom bunk...

Which ever one youre in bitch

Marsellus Wallace

dd972 wrote: »

Read an article about Norwegian prisons, they actually look better than being free over here ! For all the banter here about Prisons being some testosterone crazed cross between Scum and Shawshank, most people in there probably sit around drinking tea and playing scrabble all day.

http://www.time.com/time/photogallery/0,29307,1989083,00.html

Holy moly...:eek: The prison cells look like they are straight out of an Ikea catalogue. If I lived in Norway, I would become a career criminal/serial offender or just commit a crime every time I want a free holiday. This is unbelievable.

Marsellus Wallace

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

Watch Oz instead.

I remember watching Oz years ago on TV... I may order the boxset.

cock robin

Which bunk is better in prison ?

The Governors

Marsellus Wallace

cock robin wrote: »

Which bunk is better in prison ?

The Governors

As long as you get to play with his wife!

RobbieTheRobber

Marsellus Wallace wrote: »

http://www.time.com/time/photogallery/0,29307,1989083,00.html

Holy moly...:eek: The prison cells look like they are straight out of an Ikea catalogue. If I lived in Norway, I would become a career criminal/serial offender or just commit a crime every time I want a free holiday. This is unbelievable.

Thats the type of Prison I want my kids to go to! :eek:

mewithoutyou

The Top Bunk - Great name for a shit band

Lawrence1895

I'm here for 2 years and 3 months, and this is the most hillarious post I ever saw

Marsellus Wallace

mewithoutyou wrote: »

The Top Bunk - Great name for a shit band

rofl... I hope Louis Walsh doesn't read this site.

MadsL

Marsellus Wallace wrote: »

l...

Cool username. Tell me, do you look like a bitch?

Marsellus Wallace

SamHall wrote: »

Does the op look like a bitch?

Marsellus Wallace wrote: »

MadsL wrote: »

Cool username. Tell me, do you look like a bitch?

Go back a few pages and tell me!

long range shooter

dd972 wrote: »

Read an article about Norwegian prisons, they actually look better than being free over here ! For all the banter here about Prisons being some testosterone crazed cross between Scum and Shawshank, most people in there probably sit around drinking tea and playing scrabble all day.

Wrong all inmates in Norway have to work every day,so they can give something back to society.
And the point of being nice inside,is because its easier to get back into society when they are released.
In other prisons in Europe and the US the criminals become even more criminal because of the conditions in the prisons.
The hole point of going to prison is not to be locked up and throw away the key,it's about rehabilitation.;)
Norways prisons have the best rehabilitation in the world.