Dad Overhears Son’s Plans to Come Out

http://gawker.com/5990745/dad-overhears-sons-plans-to-come-out-assuages-his-fears-with-heartwarming-letter-of-acceptance


super dad ?

this was so sweet of him

i was dis-owned by own family for because i am gay but love to hear stories like this it left a lump in my throat

Praetorian Saighdiuir

Pretty cool alright.

Should have got Oreo's and milk though.

Ilik Urgee

I had to google assuages, I thought you meant sausages:pac:

Prodigious

Nobody cares.

Praetorian Saighdiuir

Methememb wrote: »

Nobody cares.

Plenty of people care.

My name is URL

In a letter that was posted this morning to Facebook by the pro-gay clothing and accessory brand FCKH8, the unidentified father writes his ......

The cynic in me is cynical.

starlings

Methememb wrote: »

Nobody cares.

I do.

Madam_X

tajd wrote: »

a lump in my throat

Must... resist... obvious fellatio reference on gay related thread.

steddyeddy

Madam_X wrote: »

Must... resist... obvious fellatio reference on gay related thread.

Choice of words is very important in AHs!

bucketybuck

Thats so fake it was probably bought from a fake store on fake street.

padd b1975

How did a clothing company get their hands on something so private and personal?

And other thing, what the hell is pro gay clothing??

Praetorian Saighdiuir

padd b1975 wrote: »

How did a clothing company get their hands on something so private and personal?

And other thing, what the hell is pro gay clothing??

Assless chaps?

Dildo gimp masks?

I dunno..next question/

monkeypants

padd b1975 wrote: »

And other thing, what the hell is pro gay clothing??

Assless chaps.

Lenin Skynard

What a heartwarming story this gay clothing company has just shown us. It puts me right in the mood to go and buy some gay clothes, from this particular company.

Chucky the tree

Wonder what the kid did at 6 for the dad to figure out he was gay. A wealth of possibilities.

padd b1975

monkeypants wrote: »

Assless chaps.

I was thinking trousers with a zip at the back as well as the front.:cool:

monkeypants

He's known since he was six and still hasn't beaten it out of him? D for effort.

AnonoBoy

monkeypants wrote: »

Assless chaps.

Fellahs with no buttocks?

hightower1

padd b1975 wrote: »

And other thing, what the hell is pro gay clothing??

Skinny jeans.

Czarcasm

I'd imagine it was fairly anti-climatic for the guy when he read this part of his father's letter:

I've known you were gay since you were six

Totally stole his thunder with that one line!

efb

My parents always knew too. They were great too

padd b1975

totally wrote: »

I'd imagine it was fairly anti-climatic for the guy when he read this part of his father's letter:





Totally stole his thunder with that one line!

Oh yeah, totally nipped the usual coming out of the closet drama queen antics right in the bud.

Galwayguy35

How could he have known the kid was gay at 6?

1ZRed

Galwayguy35 wrote: »

How could he have known the kid was gay at 6?

You'd be surprised some parents have a fair idea in their heads from a young age.

Tbh it'd be handy in a way, the shock factor I have to deal with is unreal

Galwayguy35

1ZRed wrote: »

You'd be surprised some parents have a fair idea in their heads from a young age.

Tbh it'd be handy in a way, the shock factor I have to deal with is unreal

Did your father get a shock when you told him?

Logical_Bear

padd b1975 wrote: »

How did a clothing company get their hands on something so private and personal?

did you read the link?has the answer

1ZRed

Galwayguy35 wrote: »

Did your father get a shock when you told him?

I haven't told my parents yet but I have been telling my sisters over the last few months. They took it badly because they were shocked. Completely supportive and it was a non-issue for them, but they couldn't process it because the thought that I was gay never entered their heads.

That's why a parent's intuition can often be a good thing in these cases. It cuts out A LOT of the stress involved.

COYVB

Chucky the tree wrote: »

Wonder what the kid did at 6 for the dad to figure out he was gay. A wealth of possibilities.

You never grew up knowing an incredibly effeminate male child that turned out to be gay when they grew up? I can think of a few off the top of my head from my childhood. I think it's pretty obvious for some kids really

1ZRed

Czarcasm wrote: »

I'd imagine it was fairly anti-climatic for the guy when he read this part of his father's letter:





Totally stole his thunder with that one line!

I'd hate that and would get very uncomfortable if I read that from one of my parents. I'd kind of get a bit self-conscious about my tell

Galwayguy35

1ZRed wrote: »

I haven't told my parents yet but I have been telling my sisters over the last few months. They took it badly because they were shocked. Completely supportive and it was a non-issue for them, but they couldn't process it because the thought that I was gay never entered their heads.

That's why a parent's intuition can often be a good thing in these cases. It cuts out A LOT of the stress involved.

I would imagine most parents these days would be supportive.

Annasopra

Galwayguy35 wrote: »

I would imagine most parents these days would be supportive.

Yes but there are still cases of being thrown out of home etc. Only last month an lgbt resource centre employee spoke at a conference in Dublin about young people becoming homeless as a result of coming out.

starlings

1ZRed wrote: »

I'd hate that and would get very uncomfortable if I read that from one of my parents. I'd kind of get a bit self-conscious about my tell

I knew a teenager who was psyched up to come out to his parents, had glorious speeches of pride at the ready... and they gave him a big hug and offered to take him out on a family dinner to celebrate. Mortified! But if I had to do it, I'd certainly prefer a squishy embarrassment to an angry scene.

Sir Gallagher

Galwayguy35 wrote: »

How could he have known the kid was gay at 6?

My cousin is gay, when he was a kid he used to ask for the girls toy in the Happy Meal. We knew since then. His Da didn't want to accept it so he'd be trying to get him to get the hot wheels, my cousin wouldn't have a bar of it, it was barbie ballerina all the way for him.

When he came out to my Aunty a couple of years ago, he was crying and scared. She just told him, don't be stupid that she knew all along and that she had his 21st booked in the George since he was 10. :pac:

Annasopra

starlings wrote: »

I knew a teenager who was psyched up to come out to his parents, had glorious speeches of pride at the ready... and they gave him a big hug and offered to take him out on a family dinner to celebrate. Mortified! But if I had to do it, I'd certainly prefer a squishy embarrassment to an angry scene.

I heard of several cases where the person was on the front page of a newspaper at a pride parade.

Allyall

Nate wasn't on the phone to Mike, he was pretending... Clever Nate..

Now, if that father had overheard his daughter talking about the sex she was having with Mike, would Pa' be so happy?

Would she be posting a letter of horror filled with death threats on mango's FB page?

starlings

mango salsa wrote: »

I heard of several cases where the person was on the front page of a newspaper at a pride parade.

now that is stylish, and I hope the news was well received.

Annasopra

starlings wrote: »

now that is stylish, and I hope the news was well received.

Not always

starlings

mango salsa wrote: »

Not always

sorry to hear that - which is why the OP is heartening.

3ndahalfof6

life is life we make the best of it , but we all do 1 thing no matter what, die.

Wompa1

Obviously his parents weren't the type to give a sh!t that he was gay. So why was he nervous? Surely he had to know his parents were open minded.

I don't know, I think maybe society is making everyone who wants to come out think it could go badly when in actual fact, if you know your parents, you should know if it would be a big deal to them or not.

LizT

Wompa1 wrote: »

Obviously his parents weren't the type to give a sh!t that he was gay. So why was he nervous? Surely he had to know his parents were open minded.

I don't know, I think maybe society is making everyone who wants to come out think it could go badly when in actual fact, if you know your parents, you should know if it would be a big deal to them or not.

Even if you think you can predict it, I'd imagine there's always going to be some amount of nerves there, it's only natural.

Irish Guitarist

The father disowned him after he forgot to get the orange juice and bread though.

Irish Guitarist

I bet it's a load of rubbish made up by their advertising department. I wouldn't trust any company that dresses five or six year old kids up in t-shirts emblazoned with swear words in the form of txt spk.

1ZRed

Wompa1 wrote: »

Obviously his parents weren't the type to give a sh!t that he was gay. So why was he nervous? Surely he had to know his parents were open minded.

I don't know, I think maybe society is making everyone who wants to come out think it could go badly when in actual fact, if you know your parents, you should know if it would be a big deal to them or not.

I knew my sisters would be perfectly fine and acceptant of me but I still felt very ashamed and that I'd let them down, even though I know that's pure bullshit and they assured me otherwise as well. It's just a remnant of how things used to be and everything that's been drilled into my head over the years, almost exclusively negative things around being gay.

But you've said it, it's society that's done it. Thankfully it's grip in that regard is weakening steadily, though.

It's easy to say "sure what's the problem?" but it's different when it's you yourself. Think of you having to come out to your family, regardless of how welcoming they may be, there are still negative connotations towards you being a gay person and you may be seen and treated differently.
You're bringing all those "what ifs" and negative associations and stereotypes to heed. You kind of become your sexuality initially and all the focus is on that side of you, it's uncomfortable.

I've experienced it sometimes where things are grand until they know I'm gay and suddenly they treat me a bit differently. Like I have to prove my masculinity more than an average guy would, when in reality I've nothing to prove outright.
Though mostly I seem to cause confusion when everything they think 'gay' to be isn't me. That can cause it's own issues as they don't know how to behave around you, as stupid as that sounds, it happens. It's just their insecurity about it though.

So even though his parents didn't give a shit if he was gay as you said, that doesn't do much to ease your nerves when there are so many factors in play that you probably can't see because it's something you have to experience first hand to fully understand.

It's not so straight forward -it's helped along by a supportive family all right, but it's still a complicated and fairly stressful process.

J_E

1ZRed wrote: »

I've experienced it sometimes where things are grand until they know I'm gay and suddenly they treat me a bit differently. Like I have to prove my masculinity more than an average guy would, when in reality I've nothing to prove outright.
Though mostly I seem to cause confusion when everything they think 'gay' to be isn't me. That can cause it's own issues as they don't know how to behave around you, as stupid as that sounds, it happens. It's just their insecurity about it though.

This happens a lot, it can be pretty jarring too. There have been some incidences where I wish I had said no when I was asked, particularly with work colleagues.

Sofiztikated

If my future children came out, would an appropriate response be:

"I really don't care. Clean your fúcking room."

I genuinely don't care if someone is gay or not. It's part of what make you you. If you're sound, you're sound. If you're a cúnt, you're a cúnt.

1ZRed

Cydoniac wrote: »

This happens a lot, it can be pretty jarring too. There have been some incidences where I wish I had said no when I was asked, particularly with work colleagues.

I'm lucky that it very nearly never happens to me, but I know it does and I've yet to tackle the less tolerant side of my family so we'll see. Tbh I wouldn't lie about my sexuality. I understand that's it's just easier to do that in certain situations, but It just seems counter productive to me when along the line they'll know eventually anyway. I just don't like building false images, personally.

I'm a big believer in setting the example for how you get treated. Going about things with confidence and an eagerness to tackle anything instead of being passive and at the mercy of what they think of you really does go a long way in influencing how people react to you.

Just from that attitude I've overcome many people's initial reactions and taken the wind out of their sails so they came to realise quickly that it's not a big deal and I set the tone for how I wanted to get treated -and that's just like any other average lad, no special treatment at all.

dodderangler

Sofiztikated wrote: »

If my future children came out, would an appropriate response be:

"I really don't care. Clean your fúcking room."
.

'I really don't care
It's no excuse to take the last pork chop you little ****'
That'd be my response

hochiquinn

If my son/daughter announced they engage in such behaviour, I'd disinherit them.

December2012

Does it frustrate some people coming out if they have all of these fantastic speeches to say and are prepared for a bigger reaction than "but sure we knew that, make the tea".

I mean when it's so important to you, does it feel a bit odd that its not to the person you're telling?

(I mean in the moment of telling, because of course it's great and should be normal to accept it as if it WAS no big deal).

Love2love

hochiquinn wrote: »

If my son/daughter announced they engage in such behaviour, I'd disinherit them.

Reading your other posts, you seem so lovely! Is it true that those who are openly homophobic are secretly homosexual themselves? Seriously, troll elsewhere