Is anyone really happy? Is it all a facade?

Yes. No.

BBDBB

depends what you think happiness is

is it a feeling soley dervived from external experiences that make us feel good

or

an internal feeling, generated by endorphine release that we use to then measure and react to our external world creating a perception of happiness


or is it getting the roide?

Dwork

Ruudi_Mentari wrote: »

Did you not say you tried I top yerself once but your folks pulled you out of it?

Well, I certainly don't know happiness but I like a laugh to stave off those feelings - certainly been close to there, the majority of my life but when mam suggested I follow through I did what I do best and thwarted her by staying alive there are people in this life who disgust me, but you're not one and neither is anyone I don't know enough to be disgusted by - certain cultures, absolutely but I am learning to try not judge the person just because.

Contentedness is attainable, and if we close ourselves off enough to our boxed in day to day routines where nothing can remind us of our shortcomings then it might be (mis)taken for happiness one day.

Dibble.:) :cool: :pac:

Ruudi_Mentari

Agricola wrote: »

It's mostly down to the person and the amount of serotonin they produce

i seem to be lacking in that right now. Can't even get a hard-on! think it's down to malnutrition.. think everything is down to that. or this! limpness.. was the very opposite this time last month, strange. Maybe I'll bounce back with a vengeance

space_man

i've long since learnt that the secret to life is to have low(ish) expectations.

if you expect too much of life, disappointment and unhappiness are inevitable.

Scruffles

am someone who has always been described by SALTs,pyschs etc as 'always happy and easy going no matter what have had to deal with',however all of that changed due to very long term severe cyber bullying,identity theft-gained all life,disability & family information of mine to use as their own for pity on parent/disability forums whilst pyschologicaly projecting their life onto mine so was ganged up on for their faults and weaknesses-though they didnt know the name of the person they were ganging up on it was all designed to hurt one person only, threatening,'gas lighting' [look it up],stalking and intentionaly using triggers they had learned to bring on mental distress,this was every day and as someone who lacks the communication to report it to others or the ability to process the situation and deal with it on own,it had triggered [diagnosed] severe major depressive disorder and pyschosis;the experience and having severe mental illness has completely changed life and outlook.
-had found out was the target of the person exactly because was a positive minded person,and also because he envied the fact am on high rate mobility/had a motability car
and was in a lot of disability support services.

this is a concept will never understand,why do so many people hate the fact some people can be at peace and positive within themselves,and why do those of a toxic jealous mentality feel we have to be brought down to their level when we have done nothing to them?

Kerrigooney

I'm as miserable as fuck about 95% of the time.

FullblownRose

Lord_Cat wrote: »

Is anyone really happy? Or is it all a facade? Are happy emotions real? Or is happiness like a hospital IV fluid that has to be constantly pumped into you to ward off misery, sadness and negativity?

Are those who claim to be happy simply "pumping" themselves with positive emotions and thoughts constantly everyday (like fuel in a car) in order to "feel happy" and function well, lest the "dark side" of themselves take over and fill them with sadness, negativity and depression? If so, is it all authentic? Do these positive folks know that negative emotions are waiting around the corner for them?

Why is it that one has to "work at it" to keep positive, whereas to be negative, you don't have to "work at it" at all. It's like a natural disposition you automatically slide into unless you do something to prevent it. Why is that?

Questions:

Do most people you know who have good jobs look genuinely happy and joyful when you see them?

Do most people you know who are "happily married" and raising "wonderful families" look genuinely happy and joyful when you see them?

Do most people you know who are successful look genuinely happy and joyful when you see them?

Do most people you know who are well off look genuinely happy and joyful when you see them?

Is someone who has a "normal life" - work, has family to raise, owns a home, is settled down - happier than someone who is an independent wanderer with no roots planted?

What do you think?

What a great question, yes I'm sure plenty of people are happy- I'm happy, despite reasons to worry, I accept that I have to worry sometimes too, that's actually part of the makeup of happiness, being a full human being and accepting that I have ''negative'' or ''dark'' emotions that some people seem to be uncomfortable with!
There are so many reasons to be happy, if you need a reason. Just the things that you might be taking for granted are sources of joy for some people. What's this 'dark side' about? Human beings aren't only made of sunshine and daisies, contentment is made up of acceptance and gratitude for everything that we are made of and everything that surrounds us in the natural world..happy people know how to just 'be' and live in the moment and appreciate everything..it's not hard really..(and no I don't have an extrememly easy, stress free or priveledged life )

When you wake up and you draw breath you have that to be thankful for, the fact that your eyesight is there, that you can (presumeably) put two feet to the ground , there are so many wonderous things about us to be happy about.

FullblownRose

Some people have said things like that they have given up on the human race, probably because they care and they don't like to see the hurtful actions of some of our race? (I'm guessing)

The fact that some of us care should also make you happy even if we can only make a little difference
why was the OP banned btw?

Da Shins Kelly

I'm up and down a lot. I have periods where I feel pretty content, and then periods where I feel terribly sad and lonely and have trouble functioning. At the moment, I'm coping.

I think a lot of people put on a front of constant happiness because for some reason it seems to be considered "weird" to feel sad. Everyone gets the blues, everyone has periods of sadness from time to time, but it seems to get treated as something that's not "normal", when in fact it's very normal. I think the fear of being treated as "unusual" or something is why people tend to pretend there's nothing wrong, when really they don't feel entirely happy.

FullblownRose

It seems to be considered ''weird'' to be ''sad'' and it's often described as ''negative'' but it's withing our normal range of emotions.

Not sure I get the OP. He seems to think that people have to "look" happy all the time or they are not.

I myself am very happy with my life and where it is at right now. Got a house, job, wolf, 2 girlfriends, the first of 4 planned children, my own space, friends, hobbies, animals I keep for food, garden, herbs and veg and much more and enough sports and things in my life that I am really fit and healthy mentally and physically.

But I do not go around grinning manically all the time so the world knows I am happy. I am sure to the casual observer I look emotionally the same today as I did 1 year ago or 10 years ago.

Certainly though the one thing that improved my happiness above all else was the decision to stop judging myself against the standards of others - their salaries, their looks, their fitness, their life or whatever. Instead I now judge myself today by the standards of myself yesterday and each day I try to improve myself in some small way - knowledge, health, skills, emotionally or whatever.

That small shift in outlook and targets has to be the single largest reason I am as happy with my life as I am today.

Mr Benevolent

I'm happy.

Zillah

No, God. There's loads of things I enjoy and even though I have a fairly good job (it doesn't pay very well but the hours are sweet and it's fairly pleasant work) I hate hate hate have to spend so much of my time at it. My alarm clock is a thing that evokes horror and I never go to bed on time and there are so many things I want to be off doing but I'm barely able to do a fraction of them. People call me lazy if I complain about it - but is it really all that unreasonable to want more time to spend doing things I like? It's not like this is the practice life or anything.

I think most classically successful people are utterly miserable, the happy ones have usually found a niche where they are comfortable and have found something they enjoy even if it doesn't make them rich. It baffles me how much of society has accepted this insane notion that it is right and proper to spend the vast majority of your life doing something you loathe.

Zombienosh

what happened there? he posted and got banned,

There's a fierce bang of a Scientology stress test type thing goin on with those questions.

ashers222

Yeah, reasonably happy. I'm happy this morning anyway, not sure why I just am.

Fizzlesque

Zillah wrote: »

No, God. There's loads of things I enjoy and even though I have a fairly good job (it doesn't pay very well but the hours are sweet and it's fairly pleasant work) I hate hate hate have to spend so much of my time at it. My alarm clock is a thing that evokes horror and I never go to bed on time and there are so many things I want to be off doing but I'm barely able to do a fraction of them. People call me lazy if I complain about it - but is it really all that unreasonable to want more time to spend doing things I like? It's not like this is the practice life or anything.

I think most classically successful people are utterly miserable, the happy ones have usually found a niche where they are comfortable and have found something they enjoy even if it doesn't make them rich. It baffles me how much of society has accepted this insane notion that it is right and proper to spend the vast majority of your life doing something you loathe.

Snap. My happiness levels fluctuate all the time. I might have a really good week where I'm filled with positivity and feel like life is a truly wonderful experience and then I'll have the total opposite where I feel listless, bored and full of apathy; during those times I occasionally catch myself looking forward to day my time to leave the planet will finally arrive. The alarm clock going off in the morning is a particularly nasty experience for me - my dreams are so entertaining, and at the time I think they're reality, despite being absolutely ridiculous a lot of the time - so every morning I have the same shock reminder that I'm a human being living a life on planet earth and it's usually a great disappointment compared to the insane entertainment of dreams. It's not so bad in summertime, when the brightness wakes me slowly and naturally, as opposed to the shock of the alarm clock aggressively dragging me back.

Working full time depresses the hell out of me, any time I've had to work part time (or been able to choose to work part time) my happiness level increases tenfold. I'd always prefer to be time rich and cash poor than the other way round.

As for the happiness facade element of the OP's question, I have often found other people's company and the effort I make to be 'sunny side out' in other people's company can take me from feeling glum and negative to genuinely feeling happier and positive again. Sometimes simply saying a smiley hello to someone as you pass them on the street can result in the smile remaining in place long after we've gone our separate ways. In fact, that's always amazed me, how smiling can actually have a tangible effect on my mood. Admittedly, I'm quite a smiley sort anyway, even when I'm not feeling too happy, I can make myself laugh listening to my own internal whinge and telling myself to shut up and stop being so miserable. When I am happy, I'm that person that people look suspiciously at in the street because I find it difficult to keep my Cheshire Cat grin from beaming brightly. Happiness fluctuates a lot for me, so I dunno if that constitutes being happy or makes it all a facade. A bit of both, I suppose.

1777

Anyone else living life in constant envy of rich people?

I work my menial 9-5 while hardly even having enough left over after bills to wipe me own hole. All I can think about day in day out is the lucky bastards who're sitting in their mansions at any given time sipping on champagne, not to mention getting laid at any given time (while I can't even get my hole off the munteriest munter in muntsville with my level of income.)

Life indeed sucks for those of us who're monetarily challenged. And I'm talking about those of us on minimum wage in an affluent country. It always baffles me why those in the third world even bother with living. Aren't we all basically just animals who only want to survive because of our instincts, even though life is demonstratively miserable?

ashers222

Can honestly say I don't envy anyone. There's plenty of people I admire but thankfully none I feel in any way bitter about. I really am happy with my lot in life.

I Heart Internet

I have a good job, live in a nice place, have a lovely wife and beautiful young kids. Things have never really gone drastically wrong for me in any sense. Had one or two upsets but that's it.

I'm a strange fish I think. In the big picture, I'm very opptimistic about life, the future, the world, etc. But I can/do get bogged down in the little things (worries at work, feeling that I have a busy, stressful life, etc). So sometimes, I'm not a happy person to be around. 90% of the time though, I'm in good form.

I guess, if I was honest, I'd say there is a part of me thinking that, at some stage in the future, I'll win the lotto or get a pile of money some other way and that'll allow me to do anything I want and relax and be REALLY happy.

That's probably not a very helpful way of thinking. I guess I should focus more on enjoying life as it comes - not in some lotto winning future scenario.

So, in summary, while generally happy, opptimistic (and even joyous) sometimes, like a lot of people....putting bread on the table, etc wears me down.

I should say (and don't want to open a debate on it) that I'm a person of religious faith and I find that some of my most joyous moments are moments associated with that. Each their own.

tdv123

Opiates make people happy.

1777

I Heart Internet wrote: »

I guess, if I was honest, I'd say there is a part of me thinking that, at some stage in the future, I'll win the lotto or get a pile of money some other way and that'll allow me to do anything I want and relax and be REALLY happy.

...

I should say (and don't want to open a debate on it) that I'm a person of religious faith and I find that some of my most joyous moments are moments associated with that. Each their own.

What I don't get is, you believe when you die you're going to a place of ever-lasting bliss surpassing anything possible in this fallen world, don't you? Then why dream about the (extremely) off-chance of you winning the lotto here on earth, when you are eventually going to end up in heaven anyway? It just strikes me as odd when I so often see this sort of thing from Christians/other religious people.

castletownman

All I know is that if Jay Z had a red balloon for each one of his problems, he'd be a lot happier

I Heart Internet

1777 wrote: »

What I don't get is, you believe when you die you're going to a place of ever-lasting bliss surpassing anything possible in this fallen world, don't you? Then why dream about the (extremely) off-chance of you winning the lotto here on earth, when you are eventually going to end up in heaven anyway? It just strikes me as odd when I so often see this sort of thing from Christians/other religious people.

Because I'm I Heart Internet - human being. Trying to get along. I believe great things are to come but I'd love to win the lotto and await those great things on a sunny beach somewhere.

Sorry I don't fit the high standards you have for religious people - seriously, just being human. I'd love to tell you I've found happiness in a cave, eating berries and praying 22 hours a day but that hasn't happened

Wibbs

I'm happy enough TBH. Sure I get bogged down at times, stressed at others and that can be a drag, but other times I'm really smiling so that balances out.

candy-gal1

People make and keep themselves happy from a lot of very different things imho from my own experience of hearing/seeing people do things and then just say "sure its just having a laugh/its life/at least im happy.

Each to their own on that I say, I think as long as your doing pretty much if not everything you want to do and are just being you and not pretending, to yourself or others, and take the happy times, the perfect days, and the little things in life and make them part of your whole life as much as possable with very little/no regrets, keep healthy, dont be a bitch, and have a little nestegg where possable then I think anyone can be happy.

H3llR4iser

The issue here is if one can actually be "happy" in the proper sense while living within the restrictions of an hyper-commercial society. Come to think of it, what makes people happy? Earning a lot of money? Getting married? having children? Buying an expensive BMW? A 4 bedroom house? Wear designer clothes? These are all artificial "goals" that have been imposed on us by religious organizations and commercial ventures. They were carefully engineered through the ages to keep people enslaved for the penny, sexually repressed and ready to shed their hard-earned cash as soon as the next big thing becomes a "must have". An individual can be content with all of the above, and that's fair enough, but I doubt anyone can say "I'm happy!" without the shadow of a doubt and in the full meaning of it.

When somebody asks "are you happy?" nowadays, it really means "do you think you conform enough with social expectations?".

As for me, to be honest, as somebody already said I absolutely despise having to spend so much of my life at work; There are tons of things I'd like to do and would want to do, but hardly get any time for them. It's an absurd situation, really: when you're out of work you have all the time in the world but no means to do what you want; When you work, you have (sometimes) the means but not the time. Really exposes how fckued up the modern world is.

Micky Dolenz

Confab wrote: »

I'm happy.

Tell the other six dwarfs I said hi.

space_man

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

Tell the other six dwarfs I said hi.

where have you been dopey? we thought you were lost!:D

NIMAN

I am generally fairly happy with life. If I could keep my current standard of living without having to go to work every day then I'd be a lot happier, but unfortunately that ain't going to happen.