Relationship Finance - what is fair?

Mr. Blank

Hey guys, I really need some advice in a situation I am in. I meet a girl a few months ago. We really like each other and things are going really well. She asked me to move in and i suggested we give it a trail and see how things go?She comes from a well to do family and has money. She is looked after. Me not so much, I come from a working class back ground. I have to rely on myself.

I graduated from college last year and I have got my first job- its part time and it doesn't pay a lot. I drive and I have college loans so what ever I earn goes towards paying bills. I can just about meet my living expenses if i don't spend money on going out. I am currently setting up a small business.

My girlfriend works part-time too, she has a practice. She inherited her house she lives in so she doesn't pay any rent/mortgage.

My question is - what is fair to contribute if i decide to move in?

My judgement tells me that contributing towards the bills 50% is fair. Including all costs of living, food, electricity, internet,phone, bins and TV.

Today she asked me for more than that, saying I was saving money by living with her because I didn't have to pay rent. Which is true, I would save a fair amount of money. I asked her what the money would be going towards considering she wasn't paying rent/mortgage and I am giving 50% towards bills. She replied more money towards her own expenses, i.e. paying for her car etc.

My gut feeling is this is unfair, I have to pay those private expenses also and I do not earn as much as her. But I am saving money by living with her.

What should I do?

I am broke and I want to be able to save some money catch up on my debts, but I don't want to be unfair either. Whats the right thing to do? what is fair?

Mr. Blank

Mr. Blank wrote: »

Today she asked me for more than that,

She is absolutely taking the p!ss.
If you split it any way other than 50/50, it should be based on your relative incomes. Tell her to cop herself on, you're not there to bankroll her lifestyle

tell that ho to sling her hook

stargazer 68

Mr. Blank wrote: »

Today she asked me for more than that, saying I was saving money by living with her because I didn't have to pay rent. Which is true, I would save a fair amount of money. I asked her what the money would be going towards considering she wasn't paying rent/mortgage and I am giving 50% towards bills. She replied more money towards her own expenses, i.e. paying for her car etc.

Shes taking the p*** Op. Thats not a relationship - thats a lodger. If you are moving in with her then its because you want to live together and not because she is saving you money.

You are only together a few months so think very carefully before you do this because I imagine it will only get worse!

Gee_G

Yeah I think this is bull OP.
At the beginning of our relationship before we moved in together,I would have been happy to think I could have saved my partner a lot of money on rent by moving in to my house that I had inherited and wasn't paying a penny for. 50% is plenty to pay towards household bills. I think you should discuss this with your girlfriend again.

Boombastic

50% of bills seems fair. Is she just asking you to move in as an extra stream of income for herself or because she see's the relationship going somewhere?

ElleEm

You only met her a few months ago and she wants you to move in with her so she can make money off you? She should not be making a profit from you.
She is well and truly taking the p!ss.

To be honest, if I was you, I would continue to stay where I am. By the sounds of it, she has gotten so used to being "looked after" (as you say) that she is expecting you to do the same.

It sounds like she is a bit of a spolit princess.

Sadderday

I wonder if she realises how lucky she is!!!!!!

the money you saved on rent could have went towards the odd break away for you both if she used her head...

Sounds like she is stingy and expects cash from you rather than a loving, comfortable live in relationship

Doesnt sound like the moving in idea is for the right reasons. share the bills if one earns more than the other chip in a bit when times are hard

sounds like a disaster waiting to happen

Toto Wolfcastle

Ah jaysus. That's terrible. Even if she agreed to a normal arrangement of bills split in half I'd be thinking twice about moving in with her. If this is happening after a few months it doesn't bode well for the future.

tipptopper

Run a mile op in my opinion, life as been a cosy ride for her so far it seems and she is expecting it to stay that way. If she is like this after a few months I couldn’t imagine it getting any better if she is making demands already.

50% of the bills is a fair split in anyone’s language, you’re not there to fund her lifestyle as well. You’ll need to speak to her again I think but thread carefully before you darken that door with your suitcase.Good luck either way

Sadderday

if she is loaded and wants to milk you........ why dont you go all sweetness on her a'ss, tell her you love her, marry her someday blah blah blah no cash right now.... talk her into letting you move in sharing bills 50% ...... stay a few months, milk it, save a bit on the sly to help towards your own situation, you might come home to a couple of home made dinners enjoy the free gaff for a while and then just leggit

clint_silver

As you can guage from above, she's just wrong on this one.

Are you saving money? well yes, but you didnt move in with her to save money and she didnt ask you in to make money. A fair non marital relationship is one where bills are split. not one where money is made. She may argue that youre making money by not paying rent elsewhere, but it doesn't work that way. it just doesn't.

If you explain this and she still doesnt see it then Id be gone. the relationship is doomed as shes obviously got some mental block on reality.

then again, if you agree to it then ask her for some sort of tenancy agreement. Also, while rent-a-room lodgers have far less rights then full tenants you now have no obligation to fix anything or pay for anything, say a new kettle for example so if she turns round and says lets buy some paint for downstairs hall, sorry love, thats your responsibility, thats what I pay rent for.

Mr. Blank

Thanks Guys, I really appreciate your comments/advice, I really like this girl and i want things to work maybe these are some troubling signs about what is to follow. Thanks for taking the time to write, I have a lot to think about.

Evenstevens

On the surface it looks like she is completely in the wrong but the only thing I could think of from her perspective is that maybe she thinks you're only moving in because it's free essentially. Maybe she's afraid that's your only reason for moving in is that there is no rent and asking you to contribute more is just a way of seeing that there might be more of a commitment from your side. Just my two cents.

If that's not the case then her making a profit from you stinks.

Sadderday

with all due respect OP, this is your side... hers may differ. She may feel that it makes financial sense for you to live together and is making it known to you that your not getting a free ride (no pun intended) she may have had men abusing her financial circumstances previously. She may just want you to show that you intend on making an effort to contribute to building a home together.

If you do really like her, could this be feasible?

Sadderday

Sadderday wrote: »

with all due respect OP, this is your side... hers may differ. She may feel that it makes financial sense for you to live together and is making it known to you that your not getting a free ride (no pun intended) she may have had men abusing her financial circumstances previously. She may just want you to show that you intend on making an effort to contribute to building a home together.

If you do really like her, could this be feasible?

Asking him to move in then demanding more than 50/50 is abusing his circumstances, it's not excusable

wolfpawnat

Exit stage left OP. 50/50 bills is more than fair, but paying for her lifestyle, good luck missis. If she wants a car, the Princess should pay for it herself. As others have said, she is trying to treat you as a lodger if she wants you to pay extra.

Sadderday

bluewolf wrote: »

Asking him to move in then demanding more than 50/50 is abusing his circumstances, it's not excusable

Fair point.... but trying to understand the girl and her way of thinking

wolfpawnat

Sadderday wrote: »

Fair point.... but trying to understand the girl and her way of thinking

Her POV: half the bills paid, plus my own shít, so I have more disposable income ............Score!!!

Yeah, not really worth it IMO.

iba

If she charges you rent you will be able to claim some tax allowance on this.

Also she will have to file a tax return each year for rooms let under the Rent-a-room scheme.

Or if she is saying it is a contribution to the house, you will then have rights on the house if you break-up or the house is sold some time down the line. Actually, I think that you may even get some of these rights even if you dont pay her 'rent' after you have been living together for a certain amount of time.

So you could give her the money but keep an account of everything you give her and then if you break-up you can claim a stake of the house.

The Cool

50% of bills is fair.

If she wants extra money from you, ask her for a rental agreement. You'd essentially be a lodger. Feck that. Moving in together is a big enough adjustment without there being, I suppose, imbalance of authority. You should be moving in together because you are a couple and want to, not to cover her living expenses. This is a life step, not a business/ financial venture.

bbbbb

I'm not sure I agree with most posters here, and I think how you've framed your original post tilts the perspective a little.
- you say she is 'looked after', which suggests she gets money from else where. However I think all you mean is that she has inherited a house?
- you can just about meet expenses. Is this with paying rent now, or will it still be the case when you're living 'rent free'?

I think it's reasonable to split bills 50/50 and ask for some rent.
I would expect this to be reduced given that you're living together and that your financial circumstances are tight at the moment (what she does or doesn't pay in a mortgage is irrelevant).

From her perspective she might want to make sure you are not a freeloader (at least in the early stages of the relationship).

I would offer to pay a token rent, given your current financial situation (maybe half what you're paying currently?).
Say the savings you make will be used to pay off your loans earlier, and you can review the rent situation when your finances improve?

Balmed Out

I disagree with all other posters bar one, I dont see anything wrong with paying ones parents rent if living with them and i wouldnt see anything wrong with paying a girlfriend rent if i lived in her house. You have only known her a few months it would be a very different story if ye were going out a few years and were engaged or whatever.

To those who thiink shes been unfair if you paid youre parents rent and they cleared their mortgage would you feel you should no longer pay rent? If you moved in with a friend who owned a property would you feel any necessity in paying rent to them?

Boombastic

There is a different dynamic between your relationship with your parents and friends than there is with your lover

Mr. Blank

I think I have been quite clear and fair in my description of the situation. I certainly wasn't trying to "tilt" the perspective, that wouldn't be productive in seeking advice.

What I meant by "looked after" is pretty much what it say's, my girlfriend is well looked after, I don't feel the need to go into massive detail but she won't have to worry about money ever, she is quite comfortable.

I think both our financial situation are both relavent in this situation because it's a dilemma relating to personal finances, so if she has a solid income with little expenses and I have a small income with more expenses I think this is very relavent in terms of paying rent.

When I say I can just about meet my expenses I mean including rent of course. Right now I am paying rent where I am staying. But my household bills are quite low, my girlfriends are quite high, so even though I would be saving money by moving in, it wouldn't be a huge amount and if I were to pay rent also I would have nothing at all. It would how ever be something if i could save and it would help me out a lot and give me some breathing space. But just about. bbbbb i do think you have a fair point in terms of her perspective. But she has been with me long enough to witness my character and she did ask me to move in knowing my exact financial situation. I don't think she views me as freeloader. But I can certainly agree with your point.

Anyway we both spoke about it and she agreed that 50% was quite fair, but maybe giving her a token rent would be a good idea as a jester of faith. But I should also make the point, my girlfriend is already planning our summer holiday so believe me what ever I save will be going strait back into our relationship.

Thank you everyone for your comments, I really appreciate them all and they have helped me gain some perspective on the situation.

Thud

From another perspective by moving in with her you have 500(or whatever rent was a month) extra disposable income a month, if you offer her half of that you are both 250 a month better off from the arrangement.

In long run if things work out the arrangement might change, if things dont work out neither of ye will feel hard done by

RoseBlossom

Mr. Blank wrote: »

My judgement tells me that contributing towards the bills 50% is fair. Including all costs of living, food, electricity, internet,phone, bins and TV.

Today she asked me for more than that, saying I was saving money by living with her because I didn't have to pay rent. Which is true, I would save a fair amount of money.

...

But I am saving money by living with her.

Don't forget that she is saving money by you moving in with her too.

Okay, there will be an increase in some household expenses (e.g. more hot water being used etc.), but the overall costs won't double, so by splitting the bills with you she will save a fair amount each month, which she would have to pay anyway (e.g. UPC doesn't double just because two people are in the house!).

pwurple

iba wrote: »

If she charges you rent you will be able to claim some tax allowance on this.

Also she will have to file a tax return each year for rooms let under the Rent-a-room scheme.

Or if she is saying it is a contribution to the house, you will then have rights on the house if you break-up or the house is sold some time down the line. Actually, I think that you may even get some of these rights even if you dont pay her 'rent' after you have been living together for a certain amount of time.

So you could give her the money but keep an account of everything you give her and then if you break-up you can claim a stake of the house.

You're out of date on these. No tax allowance for renting since it was abolished in 2008. There is a tax return, but she will be exempt.

ahnowbrowncow

pwurple wrote: »

You're out of date on these. No tax allowance for renting since it was abolished in 2008. There is a tax return, but she will be exempt.

Tax credits for rent haven't been abolished since 2008, they've been reducing with the aim of abolishing it in 2018.

Gatica

agree with most posters that bills have to be split 50/50. Maybe she just phrased it badly, i.e. wants you to contribute a rent-like payment towards living there in addition to 50% of the bills. That makes more sense than telling someone to pay, say, 70% of the bills, even if the overall total amount is the same.
I'm glad you've talked about this, but make sure that you're both on the same page as to what represents what.
Remember though that if you're moving in without any written rental agreement, or tax credit for yourself/her paying a rental income tax, that you're basically at her mercy. If you break-up down the line, she could throw you out on your ear and you'd have no recourse (correct me if I'm wrong), unless you can prove you were a tenant. If you're a tenant then she'd be obliged to give you certain amount of notice to move out.
It wouldn't be unfair of her to ask you for rent, even if you are in a relationship, but she should be up-front about it and just call a spade a spade, rather than trying to spin this into "you'll be saving money" (even if that's the case). She doesn't need to tell you what she'll be using the extra rental income for, and to be honest if I were you, I'd rather not know than her telling me it's to subsidise her car repayments. That just reeks of profiteering-off-your-friends.
On the other hand if you're living together as a couple, i.e. basically sharing the same bed and paying the same bills, you'd also have rights as a cohabiting partner some years down the line.

tatli_lokma

OP - if you really like her and potentially see a future with her, why not compromise? As another poster pointed out, she is also better off in having you there as overall the bills she once paid on her own are now being shared with another person.

It might be as others said, she does want you to move in, but after the first flush of romance and excitement, someone might have put the idean in her head that you are perhaps only moving in cos it's financially a better deal for you.

You are both saving a few quid by living together, so why not open a joint account, agree on a set amount each month, and from the money you each save, you EACH put that amount into the joint account. Get an account without laser/debit cards, and maybe even get an account which requires both signatories for withdrawals so that you can both feel confident about it. Each put the same amount in each month. Then use the saved money for things you do together (i.e. not on home improvements, but maybe holidays, meals out, concerts etc). In a few years if you are still together this money could be used towards your wedding.


In fairness to the girl, she is getting slated here and criticised, but to be honest, I worry about this relationship - not due to her, but due to the fact that you are moving in with someone and at the first instance where an adult discussion needs to be had, you run to a forum, insinuate that your GF is a tight b!tch and a pampered princess and ask for strangers advice on how to handle the situation. I'd be more inclined to tell her to run a mile, rather than you. It makes me wonder myself what your motivations are for moving in with her if you are not comfortable having a conversation with her about these kinds of matters???

Aye Bosun

Really, you think you can move in somewhere and not pay rent, regardless of who you are moving in with? The word freeloader comes to mind here OP

Your girlfriend is protecting her assets, if she does not charge you rent and you co-habit after a certain period of time you have a claim to that property under the family home act and as such she cannot remove you or sell the place without your permission as it is regarded as you family home also. It's none of your business what she is going to use the money for, there is plenty of expenses involved in owning a house.

I'm a single girl, who owns my own house and there is zero chance i would allow a boyfriend move in and not contribute to rent and bills.

My view on this would change if you guys had a shared bank account and where engaged and planning a shared future together, up until that point 'what's hers is hers and what's yours is yours'.

westies4ever

Mr. Blank wrote: »

Hey guys, I really need some advice in a situation I am in. I meet a girl a few months ago. We really like each other and things are going really well. She asked me to move in and i suggested we give it a trail and see how things go?She comes from a well to do family and has money. She is looked after. Me not so much, I come from a working class back ground. I have to rely on myself.

I graduated from college last year and I have got my first job- its part time and it doesn't pay a lot. I drive and I have college loans so what ever I earn goes towards paying bills. I can just about meet my living expenses if i don't spend money on going out. I am currently setting up a small business.

My girlfriend works part-time too, she has a practice. She inherited her house she lives in so she doesn't pay any rent/mortgage.

My question is - what is fair to contribute if i decide to move in?

My judgement tells me that contributing towards the bills 50% is fair. Including all costs of living, food, electricity, internet,phone, bins and TV.

Today she asked me for more than that, saying I was saving money by living with her because I didn't have to pay rent. Which is true, I would save a fair amount of money. I asked her what the money would be going towards considering she wasn't paying rent/mortgage and I am giving 50% towards bills. She replied more money towards her own expenses, i.e. paying for her car etc.

My gut feeling is this is unfair, I have to pay those private expenses also and I do not earn as much as her. But I am saving money by living with her.

What should I do?

I am broke and I want to be able to save some money catch up on my debts, but I don't want to be unfair either. Whats the right thing to do? what is fair?

run. run far away as fast as your legs will carry you. imagine what it will be like further down the line. 50% of bills and expenses is fair and nothing else.

D3PO

Gatica wrote: »

Remember though that if you're moving in without any written rental agreement, or tax credit for yourself/her paying a rental income tax, that you're basically at her mercy. If you break-up down the line, she could throw you out on your ear and you'd have no recourse (correct me if I'm wrong), .

wrong under the civil partnerships bill the OP would be better not to sign a rental agreement becasue if they end up splitting after living together for 5 years he will have certain financial entitlements including a possible claim on part of the property.

this might be why his girlfriend wants some kind of rent payment. Yes its a bit much given nobody should enter a relationship thinking it will fail etc but by her getting some level of rent it insulates her in some way.

Aye Bosun

Aye Bosun wrote: »

I'm a single girl, who owns my own house and there is zero chance i would allow a boyfriend move in and not contribute to rent and bills.

He's already said he would pay 50% of bills
I am not sure what you mean by "contribute to rent" considering you have no rent, so it's more like "if he didn't pay me rent" which would make him a tenant/lodger

D3PO

Aye Bosun wrote: »

Really, you think you can move in somewhere and not pay rent, regardless of who you are moving in with? The word freeloader comes to mind here OP

Your girlfriend is protecting her assets, if she does not charge you rent and you co-habit after a certain period of time you have a claim to that property under the family home act and as such she cannot remove you or sell the place without your permission as it is regarded as you family home also. It's none of your business what she is going to use the money for, there is plenty of expenses involved in owning a house.

I'm a single girl, who owns my own house and there is zero chance i would allow a boyfriend move in and not contribute to rent and bills.

My view on this would change if you guys had a shared bank account and where engaged and planning a shared future together, up until that point 'what's hers is hers and what's yours is yours'.

totally agree with this (although calling the op a freeloader is a bit OTT) apart from the fact its the civil partnership act not the family home act

sounds serile and very unromantic but in fairness she is entitled to protect her assets. Im sure that with discussion said rent and bills would still leave the OP in a better financial situation.

Merkin

She's bloody right asking you for rent. Do you just expect to live there rent free? I suggest that you offer to pay her half rent you currently pay.Not to do so suggests you are a freeloader.You actually sound resentful that she's from a comfortable background.

Aye Bosun

bluewolf wrote: »

He's already said he would pay 50% of bills
I am not sure what you mean by "contribute to rent" considering you have no rent, so it's more like "if he didn't pay me rent" which would make him a tenant/lodger

Her financial situation is none of the OP's business, as I said that changes once they have a shared bank account or are engaged but up until that point he needs to pay his way just like if he lived anywhere else, 50/50 bills and rent, it's simple really!

Well if she is living in a house with no mortgage or rent, then asking him to pay her rent IS treating him like a tenant
Especially if you ask him to move in so you can charge him rent!!

tatli_lokma

As Aye Bosun & D3PO point out - regardless of her having no mortgage/rent to pay, it would be wise for her to still get OP to pay some form of rent in order for her to protect her assets, and I can't blame her for doing this. If OP feels it unfair that he 'pay rent' when she has no mortgage, what I said earlier stands - put the money in an account and in a few years if you are still together and the relationship is solid, use that money towards getting married/go on holiday/etc.

clint_silver

Aye Bosun wrote: »

It's none of your business what she is going to use the money for, there is plenty of expenses involved in owning a house.

I'm a single girl, who owns my own house and there is zero chance i would allow a boyfriend move in and not contribute to rent and bills.

My view on this would change if you guys had a shared bank account and where engaged and planning a shared future together, up until that point 'what's hers is hers and what's yours is yours'.

I think youre missing this somewhat. break out bills as to whats fair or not
Food, halved.
bins, halved
water rates when they come in, halved.
electricity? halved
TV? halved
broadband? halved

But If rent being paid:
what about housing tax? If Im paying rent, Im not paying housing tax
what about house insurance? sorry, Im paying rent, nothign to do with me
someone breaks in and door is broken? sorry, Im paying rent, nothing to do with me.
New Lawnmower needed? sorry, I pay rent, nothing to do with me.

now go the other way. Every bill is halved. no matter what it is.

So whats actually fair? a nominal amount of rent so the girl (in this instance) can adequately cover the expenses? sure, for arguments sake, say 200e a month, but ground rules have to be laid out as to what each are responsible for if rent is being paid out, she doesnt get to get the house taxed halved for example.

she may have put this wrong to OP, if she said "an amount to cover my expenses like tax/insurance/maintenance" that would be fair. Lifestyle was the wrong selling point.

Gatica

agree with the above. Probably most reasonable post on split of expenses.

D3PO wrote: »

wrong under the civil partnerships bill the OP would be better not to sign a rental agreement becasue if they end up splitting after living together for 5 years he will have certain financial entitlements including a possible claim on part of the property.

for this to be true, he'd have to have proof that he lived there with her I imagine. At least one bill would have to be in his name for example.

D3PO wrote: »

this might be why his girlfriend wants some kind of rent payment. Yes its a bit much given nobody should enter a relationship thinking it will fail etc but by her getting some level of rent it insulates her in some way.

I'm assuming you're taking the stance from his and then from her point of view.
If from her point of view she wants to get rental income from the property (which will also protect her from him having a claim to it), then she'll have to declare the income and he can claim tax credits for it (assuming he's in a taxable bracket, and he obviously could do with this extra money). Hope she's willing to go down the legal route in that case...

Aye Bosun wrote: »

if she does not charge you rent and you co-habit after a certain period of time you have a claim to that property under the family home act and as such she cannot remove you or sell the place without your permission as it is regarded as you family home also.

I don't think it can be called a family home unless you're married (or at the very least have children together, I'd imagine). Principle of what you're saying is probably true though (as I've said in a previous post).

It's none of your business what she is going to use the money for, there is plenty of expenses involved in owning a house.
I'm a single girl, who owns my own house and there is zero chance i would allow a boyfriend move in and not contribute to rent and bills.

You're right, there's other expenses, which I admit I wouldn't have thought of, Clint has mentioned a few already. But as his breakdown shows, they can be split 50/50 as well, or otherwise an up-front rental agreement should be done which should cover those expenses already.

D3PO

lifestyle was the wrong selling point. There are agruments for both sides that you can make ranging from the OP is a freeloader to the OP's girlfirned is a sterile unfromantic selfish wench.

the reality is that the truth probably lies somewhere in between. Look at the positives the OP can have a very candid upfront discussion with her and thats the key to any successful relationship. Her reasons for wanting rent may vary from selfish to her trying to protect her assests until the OP has a chat with her about it then he wont know.

if it is just a case of her protecting her assets OP you can sign away your rights under the civil partnership act so if thats all it is you could go down that route.I forgot to mention this earlier.

If its not so be it but once you are going to be better off financially with the bonus of living with the person you care about, I dont see why you would be resentful of her having the same benefits.

Win Win as I see it.

D3PO

Gatica wrote: »

agree with the above. Probably most reasonable post on split of expenses.




for this to be true, he'd have to have proof that he lived there with her I imagine. At least one bill would have to be in his name for example.

No not exactly you just have to prove you were living together as a couple. Which would be pretty easy to do without having a bill in your name. (Now obviously everything ive written re this is at a very high level nothing legal is every as simplistic iykwim)



I'm assuming you're taking the stance from his and then from her point of view.
If from her point of view she wants to get rental income from the property (which will also protect her from him having a claim to it), then she'll have to declare the income and he can claim tax credits for it (assuming he's in a taxable bracket, and he obviously could do with this extra money). Hope she's willing to go down the legal route in that case...

Im actually not taking a stance either way to be honest. Im just trying to work out the though process of the OP's girlfriend. Re declaring the income thats not really a big deal, she would have no tax liability so its one very very simple form to fill in once and year to file the "rent a room" income to the revenue



I don't think it can be called a family home unless you're married (or at the very least have children together, I'd imagine). Principle of what you're saying is probably true though (as I've said in a previous post).

.

Ive answered in bold

pwurple

ahnowbrowncow wrote: »

Tax credits for rent haven't been abolished since 2008, they've been reducing with the aim of abolishing it in 2018.

Read the back of form ITF. The phasing out only applies to existing tenancies. New tenancies get 0 tax relief.

jackofalltrades

D3PO wrote:

if it is just a case of her protecting her assets OP you can sign away your rights under the civil partnership act so if thats all it is you could go down that route.I forgot to mention this earlier.

You can sign an agreement, but if it gets to court and the judge thinks it unfair on either parties then he can throw the agreement out quite easily.

clint_silver wrote: »

if she said "an amount to cover my expenses like tax/insurance/maintenance" that would be fair.

I thinks this would be fair too.

If I rented with a girlfriend I would pay half the rent. If they owned the house and wanted money towards the mortgage, then I would be looking for some kind of equity in the house in return. I guess if they owned the house I'd be looking for some kind of equity in return too, although I haven't given it much though because it's a rarer scenario.

Toots

This thread is probably better suited to Relationship Issues, so I'm moving it there. Posters please be aware of the rules of the Relationship Issues forum before posting in the thread.

CaraMay

As others have said There have been cases in this messed up country where a man / woman have move into a partners home and when they have moved out forced the house owner to sell to buy them out. No sh1t. She is covering off this issue by treating you as a tenant as such and rightly so. She is protecting her asset but should be clearer about it with you.

I think you are being tight and shouldn't move in with her.

a posse ad esse

Don't move in with her OP. It is not about the money or what she expects from you, it's because you met her a few months ago. Don't you think this relationship is going a little too fast? Get to know her more first and then move in together. The relationship has just started, what's the rush?

fits

I actually cant believe the response in this thread. Do people really expect the girlfriend to give him free accommodation? There are expenses associated with keeping a property, whether she has a mortgage or not.

I think 50% of bills plus a nominal amount of rent is absolutely fair.

limnam

fits wrote: »

I actually cant believe the response in this thread. Do people really expect the girlfriend to give him free accommodation? There are expenses associated with keeping a property, whether she has a mortgage or not.

I think 50% of bills plus a nominal amount of rent is absolutely fair.

I agree with you. Some of the responses are astonishing. OP you're not been treated like a tenant you're been treated like an adult.

The financial status of the mortgage or lack of is completely irrelevant to you paying your way as is the financial situation of their parents or up-bringing.

50% of bills and if she see's fit, a small % reduction on the market rate for a share in similar accommodation I would see as a fair contribution.

You may not want to be treated like a tenant but I put it to you that you also don't want to act like a sponge.