What to do instead of Communion ?

Rabidlamb

I'm atheist, wife's agnostic, married in a registry office, 3 kids, none baptized.

Ok, oldest lad is now 5 so he's 2 years off the hype building.
He goes to a Catholic primary school so it cannot be avoided.
Originally I was going to face the hypocrisy of the day head on & organise a "Free Money Celebration" for the young lad where he could get dressed up & I'd host a big party.
I've gone off this idea & was just thinking of attending one of his friend's parties instead but that makes us look like a bunch of freeloaders.
I'm now leaning towards just getting out of dodge for the day & bringing him off somewhere as a distraction.

I wonder how other atheist parents have dealt with the same situation.

Genghiz Cohen

Disney Land?

Zombrex

My parents didn't do anything, they explained what the other kids were doing, but for us it was just another day, and I turned out just fine ... Hail Satan!

Seriously though, it's probably no harm for your kids to learn that others get certain things because of there religion (or class, or family etc) that your kids won't. Just my 2 cent

lazygal

Zombrex wrote: »

My parents didn't do anything, they explained what the other kids were doing, but for us it was just another day, and I turned out just fine ... Hail Satan!

Seriously though, it's probably no harm for your kids to learn that others get certain things because of there religion (or class, or family etc) that your kids won't. Just my 2 cent

This is the approach we plan on. We've a place in an educate together but wee lass has cousins who'll get a lot of communion fuss made, but we're hoping our family can deal with it when the time comes.

Tombo2001

I've no suggestion for the day, or more particularly as I havent been in that situation I wont make suggestion for the day, I dont now what would work, but it might also be worth posting in the parenting area if the mods allow it.

Banbh

I had no trouble with the boys as they weren't bothered though they did go to the parties. The daughter was more tricky but we solved it by buying her a new outfit - a real grown-up fashion one and not a silly white dress - and then took her to visit various aunties and friends in the big city, who were told in advance to come up with a few euros.
I agree that we shouldn't try to equate ritual for ritual but teach our kids to accept that we are all different.

kylith

If he's feeling left out a trip to the zoo and a bowl of ice-cream the size of his head should go down well.

Bannasidhe

kylith wrote: »

If he's feeling left out a trip to the zoo and a bowl of ice-cream the size of his head should go down well.

I took my fella bowling (which I completely suck at so he hammered me) and got him a 'Death by Chocolate' ice cream the size of his head... we spent the rest of the day complaining about false advertising...:pac:

robindch

Rabidlamb wrote: »

I wonder how other atheist parents have dealt with the same situation.

I'm involved in a group in South Dublin which is dealing with just this problem:

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=82555418

At the moment, it's likely going to be a school-specific thing, but it looks like we'll do something on Earth Day (April 22nd, or the day before which is a Sunday). There'll probably be something in the school with some element of science to it, then some kind of party somewhere to which all the religiously unaffiliated can pop along. And probably anybody else too, of course.

If we didn't have this, then when my kid's time came, I'd toy seriously with the idea of arriving into class with on the last school day before the communion, with as many people as I could muster, and announce loudly to everybody that my kid's going off to Disney just as everybody else is going off to church.

The out-grouping that goes on is a serious social issue, at least for the few people brave enough to incur it. And from stories here on boards and elsewhere, the response from religiously-controlled schools extends from benign indifference to ostracization.

Rabidlamb

Tombo2001 wrote: »

it might also be worth posting in the parenting area if the mods allow it.

I thought of that but didn't want to risk the jebus heads smelling a conversion & being excused of child abuse.

Morag

I'm not an atheist but my kids are unbaptised and self id as agnostic.

I brought mine to the church to gawk at their classmates and then we headed out for the day and had dinner out.

Did the same for the confirmations, tbh the day itself wasn't a hassle, it was the run up to it the class time spent in preparation and project work which was expected to be done and trips to the church done in school hours were more of a hassle.

It was slight easier with my son then my daughter but that was cos there was a Dress involved,
we just got her a pink one. We ended up with a class photos of the kids on the steps of the altar
the boys at the back the girls in front in the white and herself standing front and center in pink grinning.

Morag

Rabidlamb wrote: »

I thought of that but didn't want to risk the jebus heads smelling a conversion & being excused of child abuse.

That's never been an issue in the parenting forum and tbh that's rather insulting to those who post there.

Rabidlamb

Morag wrote: »

That's never been an issue in the parenting forum and tbh that's rather insulting to those who post there.

I post in the parenting forum aswell & I've never had any trouble.
I just didn't want to risk giving one Helen Lovejoy her soapbox.

Sarky

This "Free Money Day" sounds like an excellent idea.

Dades

Morag wrote: »

It was slight easier with my son then my daughter but that was cos there was a Dress involved,
we just got her a pink one. We ended up with a class photos of the kids on the steps of the altar
the boys at the back the girls in front in the white and herself standing front and center in pink grinning.

That's a lovely image.

My 4 year old loves pink... I see a plan developing.

Cork boy 55

Something to do with nature,

Plant a tree
Kill a deer Listen to John Denver records
Spend a night in the mountains
etc lots of ideas.

coffee_cake

Cork boy 55 wrote: »

Something to do with nature,


Kill a deer

Jaysus!

Cork boy 55

bluewolf wrote: »

Jaysus!

Ya I will withdraw that with hindsight, deer hunting might be extreme for communion more of a confirmation activity LOL.

Plenty of natural outdoor activities can stand in as scientific environmental atheist equivalents to the communion and confirmation
practices/ceremony. Just a matter of designing them and organizing your community in the local area or just do your own thing.

Just Like Heaven

Way to further alienate your child from their class

Imagine the rumour as it spreads "We all went to Church, Michael 'the atheist' and his Dad ritually slaughtered a deer in the forest under a full moon".

Bannasidhe

fewtinsoffroth wrote: »

Way to further alienate your child from their class

Imagine the rumour as it spreads "We all went to Church, Michael 'the atheist' and his Dad ritually slaughtered a deer in the forest under a full moon".

'Cool' say all the boys 'we only went to MacDonalds '

Mark Hamill

Bannasidhe wrote: »

'Cool' say all the boys 'we only went to MacDonalds '

"where all we got to eat was horse burgers "

December2012

Disney, that's my plan.

That and enrolling my child in a multi denominational school.

Brian Shanahan

Cork boy 55 wrote: »

Ya I will withdraw that with hindsight, deer hunting might be extreme for communion more of a confirmation activity LOL.

Just remember, don't bring a Vietnam vet with you when you do take him. Di Di Mao!

the culture of deference

Hand out leaflets in the church when the ceremony is on, that explain the violent history of the church and its rituals, abuse's etc

goose2005

fewtinsoffroth wrote: »

Way to further alienate your child from their class

Imagine the rumour as it spreads "We all went to Church, Michael 'the atheist' and his Dad ritually slaughtered a deer in the forest under a full moon".

Um, it's under a new moon so that God (WHO DOESN'T EXIST) can't see it. Duh