Children these days in cars watching DVD players

The Reamer

These day's I often despair at the way todays children are living. I'm 26, no old fogie, but when I were a wee chap or 8 or 10 and on a road trip I'd be glued to the window spotting things or looking at the map to see where we're going or pestering my dad as to what's this or that that we saw as we drove along. At the very least, I think it helped me develop a very good sense of geography and at 11 I actually had a very good knowlege of the country's road network.

I consider that a good, interested, normal way for a child to be.

However, these days an enormous number of children travelling in cars seem to be just consumed in some DVD player stuck to a headrest or foostering with a PSP or some other gimmick while being oblivious to the real world and all the interests it could inspire.

I have no children (nor do I intend to have them, not really my thing) but if I did, I would not be going down the DVD player/ PSP route on car journeys. I think the best thing is for parents to stimulate a child's interest in the natural or real world rather than rely on the DVD player to "keep them quiet".No offence intended, but where "it will keep em quiet" is the motivation, frankly I would consider that lazy parenting. At the very least it would develop the child's knowledge of the general geography of the region by seeing where's where and what's what. I think kids are missing out on something.

Does anyone else feel this way about this issue?

RedXIV

The Reamer wrote: »

These day's I often despair at the way todays children are living. I'm 26, no old fogie, but when I were a wee chap or 8 or 10 and on a road trip I'd be glued to the window spotting things or looking at the map to see where we're going or pestering my dad as to what's this or that that we saw as we drove along. At the very least, I think it helped me develop a very good sense of geography and at 11 I actually had a very good knowlege of the country's road network.

I consider that a good, interested, normal way for a child to be.

However, these days an enormous number of children travelling in cars seem to be just consumed in some DVD player stuck to a headrest or foostering with a PSP or some other gimmick while being oblivious to the real world and all the interests it could inspire.

I have no children (nor do I intend to have them, not really my thing) but if I did, I would not be going down the DVD player/ PSP route on car journeys. I think the best thing is for parents to stimulate a child's interest in the natural or real world. At the very least it would develop the child's knowledge of the general geography of the region by seeing where's where and what's what. I think kids are missing out on something.

Does anyone else feel this way about this issue?

As highlighted above

No being snippy or anything but if you DO every get children, you'll see why parents might decide that putting a game or dvd on for the kids results in blissful silence in a car journey. I love my kids, and my eldest would question everything about anything, so sometimes I just need to give my ears a chance to relax Also, worst thing ever was the simpsons showing kids "are we there yet? are we there yet? are we there yet?" My guy did it for about 2 weeks at one stage all the time.....ALL THE TIME!!!!:eek:

Mr E

Back in "my day" (as a kid traveling on long journeys), I read comics or books, and that kept me quiet. Did that mean my parents were bad because they didn't interact with me? No, it didn't.

Roads are bloody dangerous these days. Traffic is worse, roads are busier, junctions are more complicated. You don't want your kids messing in the back seat in those situations.

I think DVDs, portable consoles etc are just the modern equivalent of books. Leave them at it, and give your full attention to the road. You can interact with them all you want when you aren't driving a 3 tonne metal box at 120kph.

Ash.J.Williams

The Reamer wrote: »

These day's I often despair at the way todays children are living. I'm 26, no old fogie, but when I were a wee chap or 8 or 10 and on a road trip I'd be glued to the window spotting things or looking at the map to see where we're going or pestering my dad as to what's this or that that we saw as we drove along. At the very least, I think it helped me develop a very good sense of geography and at 11 I actually had a very good knowlege of the country's road network.

I consider that a good, interested, normal way for a child to be.

However, these days an enormous number of children travelling in cars seem to be just consumed in some DVD player stuck to a headrest or foostering with a PSP or some other gimmick while being oblivious to the real world and all the interests it could inspire.

I have no children (nor do I intend to have them, not really my thing) but if I did, I would not be going down the DVD player/ PSP route on car journeys. I think the best thing is for parents to stimulate a child's interest in the natural or real world rather than rely on the DVD player to "keep them quiet".No offence intended, but where "it will keep em quiet" is the motivation, frankly I would consider that lazy parenting. At the very least it would develop the child's knowledge of the general geography of the region by seeing where's where and what's what. I think kids are missing out on something.

Does anyone else feel this way about this issue?

i did a lot of driving as a kid and after seeing the same ****e for years would have loved a dvd player!! ...although it would have been a VHS ...and maybe not very practical

The Reamer

I think some of you misunderstand my point - i'm not advocating horseplay, jumping around on the back seat or roaring or shouting or " are we there yet?........" I was not disruptive or boisterois.

I'm simply saying that kids should just look out the window and take an interest in their sorroundings. That can be don't without being a pain in the arse.

I think it is unhealthy for children to be merely mass consumers of media.

syklops

Im not a parent, and a similar age to you OP, but have you tried keeping a child stimulated for an extended period of time with no external assistance? Its exhausting.

The phrase "lazy parenting" gets bandied about a bit too much these days. It has its place, but not for stuff like this.

We did alot of car trips as kids. Usually I wanted to read, but reading usually made me car sick. On very long car journeys my dad would buy a book on tape and we would listen to that. Whats the difference between a book on tape and a DVD from an "interacting with the child and developing their over-developed sense of importance" point of view?

The Reamer

Hang on, I am not saying that the parent must canstantly interact with the child for the whole damn journey.
Basically what I'm saying is this: look out the damn window, you might learn something. I was able to do that for 2 hour+ journeys in perfect silence.

syklops

The Reamer wrote: »

Hang on, I am not saying that the parent must canstantly interact with the child for the whole damn journey.
Basically what I'm saying is this: look out the damn window, you might learn something. I was able to do that for 2 hour+ journeys in perfect silence.

Well aren't you just brilliant?

eviltwin

Not much for a kid to see on a 4 or 5 hour jaunt down a motorway but fields, and more fields and a few cows to break up the endless fields......

I have a portable dvd in the car for anyone who wants to use it, my kids usually just read.

You don't have kids so you might be glad of a dvd or a games console when you do, until then don't rubbish the parenting skills of others who let their kids use those things.

syklops

For all you know they could be watching a nature documentary where they are learning a lot more about geography and nature than you would by looking at the M8.

The Reamer

Fair enough.

Plus the above point of "when i do" is moot. Me and my partner have definitivly decided against it. Not our bag.

CaraMay

Yeah I imagine the conversation while zooming down the motorway 'son, look at the castle.' 'Dad where is it?' 'Oh its behind us now'. Thats a great theory if you are driving around the ring of Kerry but when you are getting from A to Z especially on modern roads there would be very little to see to entertain a kid for 2 hours.

Your free and easy labelling of people as lazy parents is just lazy posting.

The Reamer wrote: »

Me and my partner have definitivly decided against it. Not our bag.

and now you are making sense....

eviltwin

The Reamer wrote: »

Fair enough.

Plus the above point of "when i do" is moot. Me and my partner have definitivly decided against it. Not our bag.

So why come onto the parenting board to put the backs up other parents?

IvyTheTerrible

I don't have a problem with dvd players in cars for kids but how do they not get car sick? I can't even look at a road map for a minute or two without feeling nauseous!

CaraMay

eviltwin wrote: »

So why come onto the parenting board to put the backs up other parents?

He is a back seat driver :D

RedXIV

Ah I think the OP is getting a bit demonised here. As he said himself, he hasn't got kids, its a different bag then. Before I had kids I had plans to do nature adventures every weekend etc.

I do understand OP that it seems like children don't seem to have the capacity to sit still these days, like you, I sat in the car for hours just using my imagination to keep myself quiet so wonder sometimes should I be encouraging this development of my kids, but the reality is, parents are bombarded with what they should and shouldn't be doing and to a parent (at least in my experience) keeping a child quiet and entertained is a success in itself, even if the medium is madagascar 2 for the 65th time in the car

syklops

eviltwin wrote: »

So why come onto the parenting board to put the backs up other parents?

And non-parents.

EireGreg

The Reamer wrote: »

. I was able to do that for 2 hour+ journeys in perfect silence.

WOW

syklops

RedXIV wrote: »

I do understand OP that it seems like children don't seem to have the capacity to sit still these days, like you, I sat in the car for hours just using my imagination to keep myself quiet so wonder sometimes should I be encouraging this development of my kids,

I suspect your looking at your own childhood through rose tinted ray-bans. I remember times as a child when I used my imagination to stay quiet, I also remember times when I was bored sh1tless, and would have loved a DVD or a handheld game. I think sometimes kids these days don't get the credit they deserved. Give the wonderful, imaginative, can stay quiet for hours with no external influences self of yesteryear the choice of another game of the ministers cat, or the ability to watch a movie in the car during a long car journey. I know which I would have picked.

I prefer to keep my kids alive rather than entertained in the car.

The Reamer

eviltwin wrote: »

So why come onto the parenting board to put the backs up other parents?

Because me and the gf were driving from Cork to Mayo yesterday, and despite a very interesting landscape (stone walls, bogs, mountains lakes etc) I kept noticing cars with 2 DVD players on the back of headrests. And that got MY back up.

I always looked out the window and liked quietly looking at the landscape by myself or tracking our progress on the map - a usefull skill too. If complained that I was bored, my mother had told me "well tough" or that i should bring a book next time.

Aside from all that i think it is necessary that kids learn how to be bored from time and be able to deal with it. Constant overstimulation with DVDs PSPs etc etc mean that when they are taken away, the are unable to deal with a bit of boredom. They need to learn that every now and then in life, you will be bore and that you need to be able to accept it.

The Reamer

Deleted User wrote: »

I prefer to keep my kids alive rather than entertained in the car.

Read my above posts. Where did I say to keep them entertained or that you should be singing or dancing for them while driving?

My above posts says that kids should be capable of quietly looking out the window and taking notice of their sorroundings while on a journey.

syklops

The Reamer wrote: »

Because me and the gf were driving from Cork to Mayo yesterday, and despite a very interesting landscape (stone walls, bogs, mountains lakes etc) I kept noticing cars with 2 DVD players on the back of headrests. And that got MY back up.

I always looked out the window and liked quietly looking at the landscape by myself or tracking our progress on the map - a usefull skill too. If complained that I was bored, my mother had told me "well tough" or that i should bring a book next time.

Aside from all that i think it is necessary that kids learn how to be bored from time and be able to deal with it. Constant overstimulation with DVDs PSPs etc etc mean that when they are taken away, the are unable to deal with a bit of boredom. They need to learn that every now and then in life, you will be bore and that you need to be able to accept it.

How did you notice the back of the headrests of passing cars if you were concentrating on the glorious landscapes?

CaraMay

The Reamer wrote: »

I kept noticing cars with 2 DVD players on the back of headrests. And that got MY back up

Why would you let something that doesnt directly affect you get your back up? Thats a waste of stress hormone IMHO

syklops wrote: »

How did you notice the back of the headrests of passing cars if you were concentrating on the glorious landscapes?

Or worse again - why were you looking around you when you were driving?????

The Reamer

CaraMay wrote: »

Why would you let something that doesnt directly affect you get your back up? Thats a waste of stress hormone IMHO



Or worse again - why were you looking around you when you were driving?????

OK, I obvisouly see that there's somewhat of a seige mentality here the way ye all all trying to back one-another up against me.

I will say that another more established poster PM'd me to say they agreed with the sentiment and that they refrained from posting on thread as they knew they'd be demonised as I have been. They were right.

I am done here. Bye.

CaraMay

You are not being demonised, your comments are being rebutted. I happen to agree that kids should be able to entertain themselves but I dont agree with calling people lazy parents for using a dvd player or saying that these kids are not 'good', 'interested' and 'normal' like you were....

The Reamer

CaraMay wrote: »

Why would you let something that doesnt directly affect you get your back up? Thats a waste of stress hormone IMHO



Or worse again - why were you looking around you when you were driving?????

Because I was in the passenger seat on the way home. Happy?

Anyway I just think that for a child to look out the window and take notice of thier sorroundings would arguably be more informative and healthy than consuming some DVD. Like junk food for the brain.
One poster said "well they might be watching some NG documentary". Possibly, but I think that is unlikely.

I was erfectly capable of looking out the window quietly or otherwise occupying myself without being a pest for long periods and generally wasn't interested in video games or videos really.

I honestly think there is something to be said for my reasoning as a recent trip with of my neices (7 & 9) was a nightmare, twas mayhem and they were like to jack in the boxes roaring and thrashing around and my sister saw nothing wrong with it. God when I that age and if I was insomeone elese car I wouldn't dream of acting like that. You would have the fear of god in you in case you annoyed the people.

Generally I think kids these days are much less well behaved and often parents (my sister included) couldn't care less.

pwurple

I don't have one yet, but was considering getting one for a 10 hour drive we are doing in May. Would that be allowed? It's over the two hours.

Anyway, OP may be lacking some empathy here. Plenty of people live 45 mins commute from their homes. I used to. The odd trip I'd be able to time for a nap, but we were 1 1/2 hours crawling along the road in rush hour traffic, in the dark, every single day. Mostly it was pelting rain as well. It was a frikken nightmare.

Had she been older, damn right i would be whipping out the ipad or the dvd player. Solitary confinement for 1 1/2 hours strapped in a dark car is torture in my eyes.

dark crystal

OP, I think you may have posted this in the wrong forum....parents get enough of a kicking in AH and the likes, so here it's a bit of an oasis from that sort of attitude.

I agree with some of your sentiments, but I wouldn't agree that it's lazy parenting. Kids do tend to get bored very easily on car journeys and as others have said, these DVD players tend to have replaced books, comics etc. as a way of keeping children occupied.

To be honest, I haven't noticed very many of them in cars at all, but I don't tend to take long journeys very much. There's a few times I could have done with a portable DVD player in my car on the way to the airport though!

ezra_pound

As a parent I have to agree with op. I find it disturbing how pro media, TV and led screens many parents are. So many seem to buy tvs for their young kids to put in their bedroom. I just find that wrong. TV in bedroom, TV in living room. TV in car.

Shankly88

i agree with the op in some situations ie driving by the coast or through the countryside by farms and fields and what not.. but believe me sometimes you just want to put on a dvd and keep them quite on 45 min plus journeys. i'm sure people who don't have children will understand this feeling in the future. driving with children is a stressful enough experience without them shouting look at that!!.. whats this.. i like keeping my eyes and mind on the road.

CaraMay

The Reamer wrote: »

Generally I think kids these days are much less well behaved and often parents (my sister included) couldn't care less.

Indeed.

ezra_pound

Remember the film walle!

Edit: one in five children in Ireland is overweight or obese.

The Reamer

ezra_pound wrote: »

As a parent I have to agree with op. I find it disturbing how pro media, TV and led screens many parents are. So many seem to buy tvs for their young kids to put in their bedroom. I just find that wrong. TV in bedroom, TV in living room. TV in car.

I agree 100%. My sister relies hugely on the TV to keep the kids entertained. If it's turned off there is a right ruccus. Even yesterday I was over at hers and had her 5 year old pounding on my laptop keyboard going "peppa peppa peppa". I think it's wrong altogether.

And my mother said it to her yesterday evening and suddenly she was labelled the biggest bitch ever!

I find that today's reliance on media devices to keep kids entertained could be resulting in an inability to deal with boredom and short attention spans.

As for TVs and computers in bedrooms, well when I was 10 or 12 a goof few of my peer would have had them but if I had suggested to my folks that I wanted a private TV in my room I'd have been laughed at.

Now as for those posters who chastised me for noticing DVD payers in cars and taking notice of "glorious landscapes" and not concentrating on the road, the answer is I wasn't looking at the road at all really - I was in the passenger seat on the way home. Happy?

zef

I am a parent, and I agree that kids should learn to amuse themselves or read, because from what I see many seem to be dependent on hand held gaming consoles, ipads, etc.
At least with a book you know what your child is reading. Many video games are violent/ misogynistic in nature, and I see some parents allowing 11 yr old kids to buy 18 cert gaming titles. Same with video rentals - the staff know the video/ game is for the kid as she/he has picked it, but dad or older brother is paying and business isn't great so they turn a blind eye I guess.
As a kid I endured weekly car journeys to Kilkenny (2 hours), ok there wern't as many motorways then, or cars on the road probably, (showing my age haha) and I used sing in the back of the car out of boredom. Getting a bag of chips out of a chipper in Kildare halfway home was the highlight of the journey.

ezra_pound

The Reamer wrote: »

I agree 100%. My sister relies hugely on the TV to keep the kids entertained. If it's turned off there is a right ruccus. Even yesterday I was over at hers and had her 5 year old pounding on my laptop keyboard going "peppa peppa peppa". I think it's wrong altogether.

And my mother said it to her yesterday evening and suddenly she was labelled the biggest bitch ever!

I find that today's reliance on media devices to keep kids entertained could be resulting in an inability to deal with boredom and short attention spans.

As for TVs and computers in bedrooms, well when I was 10 or 12 a goof few of my peer would have had them but if I had suggested to my folks that I wanted a private TV in my room I'd have been laughed at.

Now as for those posters who chastised me for noticing DVD payers in cars and taking notice of "glorious landscapes" and not concentrating on the road, the answer is I wasn't looking at the road at all really - I was in the passenger seat on the way home. Happy?

Thanks for supporting my view!

We let our eldest daughter watch telly but we try to keep it low because its not good for children and it's addictive. We find it hard sometimes to wean her off it but thats what parents should do... Intervene and make responsible decisions that children simply cannot make for themselves. I'm sure you agree with your mothers decision not to allow you to have TV in your room. I'm just from a different planet to parents who get TV for their kids in the car and I'm story but I do think that it's bad parenting.

?Cee?view

OP,

Of course you're right. Not popular, but definitely correct.

pwurple

churchview wrote: »

OP,

Of course you're right. Not popular, but definitely correct.

He's not right. In an ideal world we wouldn't have our children in cars at all. We would be playing all day long outside.

But we don't live in an ideal world.

?Cee?view

pwurple wrote: »

He's not right. In an ideal world we wouldn't have our children in cars at all. We would be playing all day long outside.

But we don't live in an ideal world.

"These day's I often despair at the way todays children are living. I'm 26, no old fogie, but when I were a wee chap or 8 or 10 and on a road trip I'd be glued to the window spotting things or looking at the map to see where we're going or pestering my dad as to what's this or that that we saw as we drove along. At the very least, I think it helped me develop a very good sense of geography and at 11 I actually had a very good knowlege of the country's road network.

I consider that a good, interested, normal way for a child to be.

However, these days an enormous number of children travelling in cars seem to be just consumed in some DVD player stuck to a headrest or foostering with a PSP or some other gimmick while being oblivious to the real world and all the interests it could inspire."

I think the best thing is for parents to stimulate a child's interest in the natural or real world rather than rely on the DVD player to "keep them quiet".No offence intended, but where "it will keep em quiet" is the motivation, frankly I would consider that lazy parenting. At the very least it would develop the child's knowledge of the general geography of the region by seeing where's where and what's what. I think kids are missing out on something."


So that's just a portion of what he said in the OP. Can you point out specifically what he has said that is wrong?

ezra_pound

pwurple wrote: »

He's not right. In an ideal world we wouldn't have our children in cars at all. We would be playing all day long outside.

But we don't live in an ideal world.

Now if that treatise on moral philosophy doesn't get me buying two dvd sets for my car I don't know what will!

BostonB

The Reamer wrote: »

....At the very least it would develop the child's knowledge of the general geography of the region by seeing where's where and what's what. I think kids are missing out on something....

You might have had some point before we had motorways. But these big motorways are just bland concrete expanses with an earth bank. Make some generic trees. Quite often you don't see the countryside. Its got like the US, where all roads look the name. You don't go through towns, there can often be nothing to see for ages. You actually have no sense of direction on these roads, and often no sense of speed or travelling. They are boring to drive on, I can only imagine how boring they are for kids.

dark crystal

ezra_pound wrote: »

I'm just from a different planet to parents who get TV for their kids in the car and I'm story but I do think that it's bad parenting.

Just because other people do or view things differently to you, doesn't make them bad parents.

jaykay74

As a parent I find common sense and moderation go a long way. I trust my own judgement. Everything has its place from books, dvd players, pcs, board games etc.

The Reamer

Oh yeah, I fully support my mother criticism of my sisters reliance on the TV to keep the kids happy. I was thinking the same thing but I didn't want to say it to her.
I also now agree with my mothers decision to not give a TV in my room, Well i didn't ask for or want it anyway, but hypothetically.

I guess my thread is not only based around DVDs in cars - it's moreso the general tendency to rely on media devices these days to keep kids occupied.
Im 26, but in my day we had the playstation but were only allowed it for a few hours a week or if it was raining and were expected to occupy ourselves outside playing football or walking in the fields or otherwise occupying ourselves at other times. We accepted it and TBH didn't really want to spend all day in front of a screen.

These days' kids are content to spend a whole day vegetating in front of a playstation or a TV and worse altogether, the parents are even more content to let them at it if it keeps them quiet.

No wonder there is so much child obesity and ADHD type things in the last 10 years. An obese child or ADHD was unheard of when I was in school and that was only 14 years ago.

?Cee?view

jaykay74 wrote: »

As a parent I find common sense and moderation go a long way. I trust my own judgement. Everything has its place from books, dvd players, pcs, board games etc.

Agreed, but unfortunately for many children it has become the norm to have DVD players in cars. The effect on their cognitive development is ignored.

dzer2

We have a set for long journeys abroad, we rarely use them in Ireland as the trip wouldnt be long enough. We have 5 kids and they have no problem keeping themselves entertained but the noise level in the car would drive you to distraction. even on the long trips we take the kids would ask where we are, what town or city are we close to and even know the road numbers. If there was something of interest that we think they should see we would point it out to them. When you are on unfamiliar roads a bit of quiet helps the concentration

?Cee?view

dzer2 wrote: »

We have a set for long journeys abroad, we rarely use them in Ireland as the trip wouldnt be long enough. We have 5 kids and they have no problem keeping themselves entertained but the noise level in the car would drive you to distraction. even on the long trips we take the kids would ask where we are, what town or city are we close to and even know the road numbers. If there was something of interest that we think they should see we would point it out to them. When you are on unfamiliar roads a bit of quiet helps the concentration

...and the situation you describe is in stark contrast to the people who can't be bothered interacting with their young ones when they're commuting to and from work, school etc. I used to ride a scooter in Dublin. When filtering or at lights you could see into cars more clearly than you would if in another car. The amount of kids on the "schoolrun" staring zombie like into screens was horrifying.

ezra_pound

jaykay74 wrote: »

As a parent I find common sense and moderation go a long way. I trust my own judgement. Everything has its place from books, dvd players, pcs, board games etc.

Absolutely. Is moderation getting a dvd for the back of car?

ezra_pound

dark crystal wrote: »

Just because other people do or view things differently to you, doesn't make them bad parents.

Absolutely. I have no authority on determining what bad parenting is.



But as I explained my philosophy is that good parents make responsible decisions for their children when those children simply can't make that decision. That is why children need parents. Furthermore I believe that putting a TV screen in a car in front of your child leaves them no choice but to watch it and is the antithesis of a readiness to intervene and make the call for your child that they have had enough TV.

ezra_pound

dzer2 wrote: »

We have a set for long journeys abroad, we rarely use them in Ireland as the trip wouldnt be long enough. We have 5 kids and they have no problem keeping themselves entertained but the noise level in the car would drive you to distraction. even on the long trips we take the kids would ask where we are, what town or city are we close to and even know the road numbers. If there was something of interest that we think they should see we would point it out to them. When you are on unfamiliar roads a bit of quiet helps the concentration

This sounds completely reasonable to me! I would use one myself on the same circumstances.

Bishop_Donal

The Reamer wrote: »

These day's I often despair at the way todays children are living. I'm 26, no old fogie, but when I were a wee chap or 8 or 10 and on a road trip I'd be glued to the window spotting things or looking at the map to see where we're going or pestering my dad as to what's this or that that we saw as we drove along. At the very least, I think it helped me develop a very good sense of geography and at 11 I actually had a very good knowlege of the country's road network.

I consider that a good, interested, normal way for a child to be.

However, these days an enormous number of children travelling in cars seem to be just consumed in some DVD player stuck to a headrest or foostering with a PSP or some other gimmick while being oblivious to the real world and all the interests it could inspire.

I have no children (nor do I intend to have them, not really my thing) but if I did, I would not be going down the DVD player/ PSP route on car journeys. I think the best thing is for parents to stimulate a child's interest in the natural or real world rather than rely on the DVD player to "keep them quiet".No offence intended, but where "it will keep em quiet" is the motivation, frankly I would consider that lazy parenting. At the very least it would develop the child's knowledge of the general geography of the region by seeing where's where and what's what. I think kids are missing out on something.

Does anyone else feel this way about this issue?

These days lots of people in their 70's and 80's can't get their heads around the idea of 26 year olds spending their lives in front of computers posting their opinions on Social Media sites, but there ya go (maybe they are missing out on something good even though they don't know it).