Why are babies so useless?

Suspicious Dave

Just had a thought, given that we are the most evolved species on the planet, why are our babies so helpless when born compared to most animals? So many animals can walk, feed and communicate either straight from birth or within days, why does it take our babies so much longer? I'm confusing myself even thinking about it.

Ihatecuddles-old

If they could walk around when they're a few days old, I'd never stop laughing. Imagine how stupid that would look.

phasers

there are some animals who eat their parents when they're born. Count your blessings that all ours can do is **** itself.

jesus_thats_gre

Suspicious Dave wrote: »

Just had a thought, given that we are the most evolved species on the planet, why are our babies so helpless when born compared to most animals? So many animals can walk, feed and communicate either straight from birth or within days, why does it take our babies so much longer? I'm confusing myself even thinking about it.

You reckon a baby can't communicate from the second they are born?

SureYWouldntYa

Because they're babies

hatrickpatrick

I read about this once, and I seem to remember it has something to do with brain mass. If human babies brains fully developed in the womb like some other animals, they'd be far too heavy to give birth to, and also it would be far harder for the mother to support them inside with the right amount of food etc.

Not sure if that's correct but it's definitely a theory I've heard.

Agricola

Interesting question. Someone call Richard Dawkins.

PaulieC

In order to facilitate upright stance, the pelvic bone has to be shaped differently than 4-legged animals, meaning the size of the opening for the baby to come through is smaller. Hence the human baby is born in a less developed state than in other mammals.

--Kaiser--

Babies are useless because they are born with such big brains they are more or less born immature (any bigger and they wouldn't fir out the birth canal)

Amirani

They're also unable to pass the mirror test until they're about about 18 months old - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mirror_test

starlings

Being predators might have something to do with it too - unless they're good at hiding their young, like rabbits, prey animals have to be able to run as soon as possible.

davet82

because we're top of the food chain :cool:

My name is URL

'Useless' is an interesting choice of word for it :pac:

omahaid

Stolen from cracked.com, my favourite source of scientific research

At some point way up the evolutionary chain, our babies probably hit the ground running and screwing too. But as we evolved our super large brains, we also had to evolve larger skulls which required a birth canal you could go bowling in. This led to a sort of anatomical arms race between mom's cha-cha and junior's head. If the heads got too big, mom would lose the ability to run (No. 2 on our list of the 6 Abilities You Didn't Want to Lose in a World Filled With Man-Eating Animals). To keep women ambulatory without losing any of that big-brained goodness on the back end, the species began naturally selecting women who gave birth earlier. The species got to keep our big, tool-operating brains and female hips that wouldn't get clogged in a hula hoop.
The trade-off was that our babies came out stupid and helpless, and had to be taken care of for years if you didn't want them to find the only sharp rock in the entire jungle and try to do a headstand on it. While this extended ankle biting phase might seem like nothing but downside at first, the mixture of big brains and more time spent hanging around made us even smarter.


But still vulnerable.

Scientists believe that this delay actually allows us to reach higher cognitive levels, because it prolongs the types of learning that only juveniles are capable of. You can't teach an old dog new tricks, so you keep the dog a puppy longer, thereby allowing him to learn more tricks overall. And considering those "tricks" are language, culture and the ability to solve a Rubik's cube, being born helpless isn't such a bad trade-off.


Read more: http://www.cracked.com/article_19224_6-wuss-behaviors-that-were-once-badass-survival-instincts.html#ixzz2JeV1ikNB

DipStick McSwindler

This post has been deleted.

Duggys Housemate

hatrickpatrick wrote: »

I read about this once, and I seem to remember it has something to do with brain mass. If human babies brains fully developed in the womb like some other animals, they'd be far too heavy to give birth to, and also it would be far harder for the mother to support them inside with the right amount of food etc.

Not sure if that's correct but it's definitely a theory I've heard.

Thats the most accepted case, yes. Human brains and limbs continue to develop outside the womb, we would need to gestate for 18-24 months to be as complete as the average birthed animal ( some of them pop out and walk).

Amirani

Great for picking up women.

DipStick McSwindler

This post has been deleted.

Way back in our evolutionary past we traded off the ability to stand up and run from predators shortly after birth for having big brains but being totally dependent on our parents.

davet82

NiallSparky wrote: »

Great for picking up women.

IrishFeeney92 wrote: »

Nah Puppys are better

so my rugged good looks, six pack and big penis are useless...

Gambas

Suspicious Dave wrote: »

Just had a thought, given that we are the most evolved species on the planet, why are our babies so helpless when born compared to most animals? So many animals can walk, feed and communicate either straight from birth or within days, why does it take our babies so much longer? I'm confusing myself even thinking about it.

well, baby animals that can run, swim etc within a very short time of being born inherited that trait from their ancestors. The baby deer that couldn't got eaten before it could pass on the trait to offspring. In a nutshell, they can do that because they have to.

Why ours are so useless is another matter. One factor is the brain growth. At least prior to say the last 50 years, problems in child birth killed mothers and babies. Big heads like our babies have cause problems, so there is a limit to the size of head that could develop. But outside the womb, that limitation is removed and the cranium can grow larger and provide room for a bigger brain. Unlike other animals, huge amount of brain development in humans takes place after birth. The ones that aren't are the 'smartest' ones.

wikipedia wrote:

The majority of mammals are born with a brain close to 90% of the adult weight,[21] while Humans are born with 28%,[21] bottlenose dolphins with 42.5%,[22] chimpanzees with 54%,[21] and elephants with 35%

And if you think our lot are useless, checkout baby pandas or kangaroos.

gallag

My wee fella is eating solid foods I.e what ever we are eating mashed up and can stand holding just one finger and he is 4months old. They are not that bad.

Defiler Of The Coffin

This thread turned out to be interesting :eek:

ScumLord

If the heads got too big, mom would lose the ability to run (No. 2 on our list of the 6 Abilities You Didn't Want to Lose in a World Filled With Man-Eating Animals)

Ironically standing still and staring at the predator is a much better way of avoiding an attack.

Chuck Stone

Suspicious Dave wrote: »

Just had a thought, given that we are the most evolved species on the planet, why are our babies so helpless when born compared to most animals? So many animals can walk, feed and communicate either straight from birth or within days, why does it take our babies so much longer? I'm confusing myself even thinking about it.

Hmmmm.....

SEPT 23 1989

Name a creature that is not "useless" when they come into the world

c_man

SEPT 23 1989 wrote: »

Name a creature that is not "useless" when they come into the world

Xenomorph.

summerskin

Suspicious Dave wrote: »

Why are babies so useless?

To prepare the parents for when they become teenagers/students.

SEPT 23 1989

c_man wrote: »

Xenomorph.

Apart from biblical creatures

c_man

SEPT 23 1989 wrote: »

Apart from biblical creatures

I want your copy of the Bible :eek:

Chuck Stone

SEPT 23 1989 wrote: »

Name a creature that is not "useless" when they come into the world

Turtles.
Crocodiles.

ScumLord

SEPT 23 1989 wrote: »

Name a creature that is not "useless" when they come into the world

Many reptiles and insects are basically born as miniature versions of adults. They have all the tools and abilities just lack the size.

SEPT 23 1989

I stand corrected:D

seamus

Babies are completely helpless at birth because we've evolved that way, not in spite of it.

Thread fail.

Boombastic

Has no one explained to these babies how much they owe to the banks? It's about time they became more productive members of society instead of lying around whinging all day

aw babies

Lollipops23

I like babies- not the brand new ones, they're just a lump of skin really.

But the ones who are smiley and gurgly. They annoy me significantly less than most grown ups and make me smile a whole lot more.

CreepingDeath

Suspicious Dave wrote: »

Why are babies so useless?

They're not useless, they make great hostages, at least for a short period of time.

Capt'n Midnight

ScumLord wrote: »

Ironically standing still and staring at the predator is a much better way of avoiding an attack.

Very few invertebrates give parental support apart form the social insects

most vertebrates like fish, frogs, amphibians and many reptiles are on their own from when the egg is laid.

Love the way that some turtles lay their eggs in/near crocs nests. The motherly instincts of the croc mean that some of the turtles get carried down to the water edge

But that motherly instinct only lasts a short time. For many species offspring can be food.

Or those desert frogs where some of the tadpoles are vegetarian and some carnivorous. They'll eat their sibblings, but prefer to eat other families vegetarian tadpoles.

Or the sharks that have live births, starts off with two embryos and then it's thunderdome