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Is it not a bit early for confirmations?

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  • 31-01-2013 5:15pm
    #1
    kylith
    Registered Users Posts: 17,736 ✭✭✭✭


    Apparently in some parts of the country confirmation season has already started. I was sure that they used to be later in the year, or are they trying to get as much in as close to Christmas as possible?

    Anyway, I'm once more the asshole in my family because I'm not going to my niece's confirmation on Saturday. Apparently 'I'm terribly sorry, but I've put so much stuff off, what with it having been mum's birthday, and with accompanying mum on that trip, that I can't put off what I have to do for myself any longer. I've put a card in the post for the young wan. I hope ye have a lovely day, and I'll be down to see ye in a week or two.' qualifies me for the Selfish Cow of the Year award.

    Should I just go for broke with 'I'm too busy to travel half the length of the fecking country, and put off looking after myself and my own home, to sit in a house full of Holy Joes and pretend that I'm happy that my niece is being further indoctrinated into an paedophile-hiding institution which believes that she is worth less than dirt, and if you keep on at me about it I will show up, and I'll spend the whole time telling all the kids that God isn't real, and that there's no heaven'?


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    #2
    Kidchameleon
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,482 ✭✭✭Kidchameleon


    OP just do it for your niece. What have your beliefs got to do with it?

    Oh and if your going to "spend the whole time telling all the kids that God isn't real, and that there's no heaven", what evidence are you going to give to back up your claims? And what has heaven got to do with anything?


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    #3
    Dades
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,558 Mod ✭✭✭✭Dades


    kylith, would your niece notice or care if you weren't there?

    Or just the *adults*?


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    #4
    docmol
    Closed Accounts Posts: 339 ✭✭docmol


    Send her a T shirt!
    http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Atheist-T-Shirt-Thor-My-God-has-a-hammer-your-God-/190483411255


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    #5
    kylith
    Registered Users Posts: 17,736 ✭✭✭✭kylith


    Kidchameleon wrote: »
    OP just do it for your niece. What have your beliefs got to do with it?

    Oh and if your going to "spend the whole time telling all the kids that God isn't real, and that there's no heaven", what evidence are you going to give to back up your claims? And what has heaven got to do with anything?
    Ah, don't mind the last paragraph, I'm just venting.

    I honestly wouldn't refuse to go, I have been to all the christenings, communions, and confirmations so far, I'm even a godmother ("Ah, sure just do it, he's your brother, tradition, family, why don't you believe in god, blah blah...". It's just that because I've been away every weekend so far this year my house is a tip, the place is still full of crap from Christmas, and various other stuff I just can't put off any more. If I drove it wouldn't be a problem because I could get everything done in the morning then head down, but since I don't what would be a quick job in a car turns into a 90 minute saga on the fecking bus.
    Dades wrote: »
    kylith, would your niece notice or care if you weren't there?

    Or just the *adults*?
    I honestly don't think my niece would mind, especially since I'll be sending her a nice card with some nice money in it.


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    #6
    kylith
    Registered Users Posts: 17,736 ✭✭✭✭kylith


    docmol wrote: »
    Send her a T shirt!
    http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Atheist-T-Shirt-Thor-My-God-has-a-hammer-your-God-/190483411255

    I prefer:
    Odin promised an end to Ice Giants
    Jesus promised an end to evil people

    I don't see any Ice Giants around, do you?


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    #7
    Calibos
    Registered Users Posts: 7,805 ✭✭✭Calibos


    If you go with option 3 can I come and watch!! Or at least can you set up a hidden camera and record it for us ;):D BTW I don't mean the carrying out of the threat but the issuing of the threat to the people giving you grief about not going.


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    #8
    byhookorbycrook
    Moderators, Education Moderators, Regional South East Moderators Posts: 12,483 Mod ✭✭✭✭byhookorbycrook


    Confirmations have indeed started, bishop has a lot of places to cover.


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    #9
    Wibbly Wobbly Wonder
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 65 ✭✭Wibbly Wobbly Wonder


    kylith wrote: »
    Should I just go for broke with 'I'm too busy to travel half the length of the fecking country, and put off looking after myself and my own home, to sit in a house full of Holy Joes and pretend that I'm happy that my niece is being further indoctrinated into an paedophile-hiding institution which believes that she is worth less than dirt, and if you keep on at me about it I will show up, and I'll spend the whole time telling all the kids that God isn't real, and that there's no heaven'?

    This. Bout time people put their money where their mouths are.


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    #10
    feargale
    Registered Users Posts: 8,636 ✭✭✭feargale


    Will you adopt the same position re her wedding ?


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    #11
    docmol
    Closed Accounts Posts: 339 ✭✭docmol


    Will you adopt the same position re her wedding or civil partnership?

    FYP

    :rolleyes:


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    #12
    kylith
    Registered Users Posts: 17,736 ✭✭✭✭kylith


    feargale wrote: »
    Will you adopt the same position re her wedding ?

    You mean the thing that she'll be able to make an informed, adult decision about rather than the 'keeping up with the Jones'' thing that she's only doing for money?


    I spoke to my parents last night, and apparently this is classed as a Really Frakking Big Deal. To the point where my dad was threatening to come get me. So I guess I'll be putting off the things I need to do so that I can go there instead.

    This is what being an atheist gets you, apparently; the assumption that you're not going to an event because it's religious and you can't be arsed rather than, y'know, actually having a frigging life of your own to lead. I tell you what, every single other member of the family had better be there or I'm going to be very annoyed. I swear, sometimes I hear so much about doing things 'for the family' that it feels like I'm in the Mafia.


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    #13
    Wibbly Wobbly Wonder
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 65 ✭✭Wibbly Wobbly Wonder


    kylith wrote: »
    You mean the thing that she'll be able to make an informed, adult decision about rather than the 'keeping up with the Jones'' thing that she's only doing for money?


    I spoke to my parents last night, and apparently this is classed as a Really Frakking Big Deal. To the point where my dad was threatening to come get me. So I guess I'll be putting off the things I need to do so that I can go there instead.

    This is what being an atheist gets you, apparently; the assumption that you're not going to an event because it's religious and you can't be arsed rather than, y'know, actually having a frigging life of your own to lead. I tell you what, every single other member of the family had better be there or I'm going to be very annoyed. I swear, sometimes I hear so much about doing things 'for the family' that it feels like I'm in the Mafia.

    You can't be arsed going to a family event in some teenage style strop, or you have actual convictions , which is it ?

    I think you should mean what you say and put your money where your mouth was, too many don't :
    'I'm too busy to travel half the length of the fecking country, and put off looking after myself and my own home, to sit in a house full of Holy Joes and pretend that I'm happy that my niece is being further indoctrinated into an paedophile-hiding institution which believes that she is worth less than dirt, and if you keep on at me about it I will show up, and I'll spend the whole time telling all the kids that God isn't real, and that there's no heaven'?


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    #14
    Fortyniner
    Registered Users Posts: 79 ✭✭Fortyniner


    Don't despair - hopefully your reaction will prompt others to question the lazy acceptance of the status quo.

    The world will have moved on by the time your niece is old enough to make her own decisions. Then you'll be able to enthral the youngsters with tales of life in the old days..


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    #15
    kylith
    Registered Users Posts: 17,736 ✭✭✭✭kylith


    Wibbly Wobbly Wonder wrote: »
    You can't be arsed going to a family event in some teenage style strop, or you have actual convictions , which is it ?

    I think you should mean what you say and put your money where your mouth was, too many don't :

    I said that it seems to have been assumed that I can't be arsed, whereas the reality is that I have been putting off since New Year things I need to do for myself so that I can do things for my parents and siblings and now it has gotten to the stage where I can't put them off any more I am being lambasted for my 'selfishness'. My comments about telling the kids that there's no heaven I have already clarified as words written in the heat of frustration.


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    #16
    robindch
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 24,401 Mod ✭✭✭✭robindch


    Wibbly Wobbly Wonder wrote: »
    You can't be arsed going to a family event in some teenage style strop, or you have actual convictions, which is it?
    Not the kindest, most thoughtful or most sympathetic response I've seen.

    Chill out wibbly, or there'll be cards handed out for posts unbecoming.


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    #17
    Wibbly Wobbly Wonder
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 65 ✭✭Wibbly Wobbly Wonder


    kylith wrote: »
    I said that it seems to have been assumed that I can't be arsed, whereas the reality is that I have been putting off since New Year things I need to do for myself so that I can do things for my parents and siblings and now it has gotten to the stage where I can't put them off any more I am being lambasted for my 'selfishness'. My comments about telling the kids that there's no heaven I have already clarified as words written in the heat of frustration.

    So now we find this has nothing really to do with standing up for your atheist convictions, its about not having the time to attend ? :rolleyes:


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    #18
    Wibbly Wobbly Wonder
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 65 ✭✭Wibbly Wobbly Wonder


    robindch wrote: »
    Not the kindest, most thoughtful or most sympathetic response I've seen.

    Chill out wibbly, or there'll be cards handed out for posts unbecoming.

    Grand, just seen you post. Atheists or Theists who are not willing to follow through practicing what they come on here preaching annoy me. I can't understand that hypocritical mentality.


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    #19
    robindch
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 24,401 Mod ✭✭✭✭robindch


    Wibbly Wobbly Wonder wrote: »
    Atheists or Theists who are not willing to follow through practicing what they come on here preaching annoy me.
    Are you suggesting that kylith should value her beliefs about religion more than her family?

    That's what the religious do and you'll find very few atheists going down the same bone-headed route.


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    #20
    Dades
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,558 Mod ✭✭✭✭Dades


    Wibbly Wobbly Wonder wrote: »
    Grand, just seen you post. Atheists or Theists who are not willing to follow through practicing what they come on here preaching annoy me. I can't understand that hypocritical mentality.
    What are you talking about? The OP is someone musing/ranting on Boards looking for thoughts, not a lecture.

    And why can't it be a bit of Box A (need some time to myself after a month of doing things for other people) and a bit of Box B (annoyed by indoctrination)? Life's dilemmas aren't always black and white.


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    #21
    krudler
    Registered Users Posts: 34,788 ✭✭✭✭krudler


    Wibbly Wobbly Wonder wrote: »
    Grand, just seen you post. Atheists or Theists who are not willing to follow through practicing what they come on here preaching annoy me. I can't understand that hypocritical mentality.

    Thats the Catholic left in us acting out


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    #22
    krudler
    Registered Users Posts: 34,788 ✭✭✭✭krudler


    feargale wrote: »
    Will you adopt the same position re her wedding ?

    Totally the same thing. Yup, totally.


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    #23
    kylith
    Registered Users Posts: 17,736 ✭✭✭✭kylith


    Wibbly Wobbly Wonder wrote: »
    So now we find this has nothing really to do with standing up for your atheist convictions, its about not having the time to attend ? :rolleyes:

    Did you even read my first post where I said:
    'I'm terribly sorry, but I've put so much stuff off, what with it having been mum's birthday, and with accompanying mum on that trip, that I can't put off what I have to do for myself any longer. I've put a card in the post for the young wan. I hope ye have a lovely day, and I'll be down to see ye in a week or two.'


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    #24
    Gbear
    Registered Users Posts: 12,775 ✭✭✭✭Gbear


    Considering how utterly trivial an event it is I'd tell your family to **** off in no uncertain terms. But then I am a bit of a contrarian.


    From what you're describing they're blowing things completely out of proportion and I can only assume it's not because they actually give a **** whether you go to the confirmation or not but rather because they're pissed at you for being an atheist and are playing silly-buggers political manoeuvering ****ology that people do when they can't face actually coming out and saying what they really think.

    But that's only a reading based on a tiny window into your life so I apologise if I'm wrong.:pac:

    Edit: I do get quite animated about this sort of thing because family (in general, my whole family are atheists so it doesn't really apply to us) try to pull this sort of emotional blackmail bull**** all the time and it really gets my goat.


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    #25
    kylith
    Registered Users Posts: 17,736 ✭✭✭✭kylith


    Gbear wrote: »
    Considering how utterly trivial an event it is I'd tell your family to **** off in no uncertain terms. But then I am a bit of a contrarian.


    From what you're describing they're blowing things completely out of proportion and I can only assume it's not because they actually give a **** whether you go to the confirmation or not but rather because they're pissed at you for being an atheist and are playing silly-buggers political manoeuvering ****ology that people do when they can't face actually coming out and saying what they really think.

    But that's only a reading based on a tiny window into your life so I apologise if I'm wrong.:pac:

    Edit: I do get quite animated about this sort of thing because family (in general, my whole family are atheists so it doesn't really apply to us) try to pull this sort of emotional blackmail bull**** all the time and it really gets my goat.

    I think that my parents are blowing this so out of proportion because 4 of their 6 children are avowed atheists who refuse to baptise their children (well, 3 refuse, I haven't got any kids yet), so they've decided that the religious upbringing of the other two's kids is A Huge Deal. They can't force me to be religious, but they can surely make my life hell if I don't go along with the familial religious events.

    I haven't even said that I don't see what the big deal is. Apparently it's the child's 'big day' and that's that. Jebus knows what they'll be like if she ever does something important.


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    #26
    Sarky
    Closed Accounts Posts: 31,967 ✭✭✭✭Sarky


    They'll give all the credit to some saint or other. :pac:


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    #27
    GRMA
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,417 ✭✭✭GRMA


    Is this your goddaughters confirmation and the stuff you need to do is clean your house?

    I imagine there is a reception type thing afterwards where the family all go out to a meal etc, you could skip the religious event which you have a problem with and just go to the afters?

    A confirmation is a big deal to a child and is a major family event I would go unless something else really important needs to be done


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    #28
    Kidchameleon
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,482 ✭✭✭Kidchameleon


    kylith wrote: »
    You mean the thing that she'll be able to make an informed, adult decision about rather than the 'keeping up with the Jones'' thing that she's only doing for money?

    Did ya put money in the card you sent her? Just curious


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    #29
    krudler
    Registered Users Posts: 34,788 ✭✭✭✭krudler


    GRMA wrote: »
    Is this your goddaughters confirmation and the stuff you need to do is clean your house?

    I imagine there is a reception type thing afterwards where the family all go out to a meal etc, you could skip the religious event which you have a problem with and just go to the afters?

    A confirmation is a big deal to a child and is a major family event I would go unless something else really important needs to be done

    Not for the reasons its meant to be most of the time though. One of my cousins was more concerned with what ipad she was getting than anything to do with the religious aspect.


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    #30
    GRMA
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,417 ✭✭✭GRMA


    krudler wrote: »
    Not for the reasons its meant to be most of the time though. One of my cousins was more concerned with what ipad she was getting than anything to do with the religious aspect.
    Does it matter?

    The fact is its still a big deal, kid is the centre of attention etc


    So the OPS parents are right in saying that its the childs "big day"

    Saying it shouldnt be wont change anything.


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    #31
    krudler
    Registered Users Posts: 34,788 ✭✭✭✭krudler


    GRMA wrote: »
    Does it matter?

    The fact is its still a big deal, kid is the centre of attention etc


    So the OPS parents are right in saying that its the childs "big day"

    Saying it shouldnt be wont change anything.

    Yes? I didnt give two sh1tes about my confirmation other than the fact I was getting some money for new video games. Same as nearly everyone I made it with, wear nice clothes and get cash for attending a mass, how bad.


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