Moving in with my boyfriend..

scribbles2013

So I'm moving in with my boyfriend in a weeks time and I'm really excited/nervous about it!

Any advise for the first time living with a smelly boy?!:P

DrumSteve

Yep dont moan at him for playing the xbox and your onto a winner.

Anything about money agree up front (split bills etc.) this may cause hassle down the line.

Dont mammy him.

Thats about all I can think of right now, been living with herself about 4 years and it took me a while to learn how to not be a bachelor. Key word: Compromise.

Rachineire

Start as you mean to go on! Don't take all the housework upon yourself...try and do things 50/50...when my OH and I first lived together he didn't even know how to wash a dish, now the chores are split pretty evenly and I can count on him to make sure the place is kept up when I'm not able! Also what previous poster said, compromise! And have fun!

McChubbin

Establish some ground rules regarding household chores. Trust me, I've been left holding the dishcloth on more than one occasion. A good quote to remember is this:
"A woman slaves all day over a hot stove, the least her man can do is the dishes."
Also, be sure you still have an active social life with your friends outside of the relationship. It's all too easy to get caught up in those inital first weeks of lovey-doveyness and isolate yourself from your mates while you're in your own little love bubble.

harney

When my girlfriend and I moved in together we got a joint account to pay all the bills. It makes life much easier.

You keep you own accounts, and get paid into those. Just set up a direct debit for X into the joint account and put all bills through that. We had debit cards on the account so even small items like bread and milk could be picked up through the joint account.

womandriver

Buy a duvet a size bigger than the bed.

Gee_G

Good suggestion about joint account! It was always on my to do list, 6years later, its still on it ;D
also, talk to each other! Any problems, anything pissin you off(about housework etc) talk about it!

ElleEm

Prepare for a "settling in period". No matter how much you love him, and how much time you spend together now, you WILL fight.
Myself and my boyfriend spent practically all our time together for 9 months before we moved in together but we fought like mad for the first month or so. It takes a while to adjust to it.

Make sure you agree how money and chores should be managed at the start. It is better to address all the "boring" stuff at the start, as they can create HUGE arguments down the line.

I think it's important to still have "alone" time too, even when you are both home. I will often take an evening, and sit in the bedroom reading, listening to music, taking care of girly preening and grooming, etc. It is so self indulgent but I really enjoy it.

Oh, and don't get too cosy on the couch in your pjs! Still go on dates, meet up outside if you are both out. Relationships can go stale so easily if every night is spent watching TV/ Xbox.

Best thing about living with your guy? Cuddles on demand Enjoy!!

Princess Peach

womandriver wrote: »

Buy a duvet a size bigger than the bed.

Ahaha I moved in with my boyfriend lately. I think the house must be on a hill, all the blankets end up on my side

Not sure I have much advice, it's been really easy and fun for us so far plus every couple is different. We never fight and have worked out household things to suit our lifestyle.

CaraMay

If you can afford a cleaner get one!!!

Paddywiggum

harney wrote: »

When my girlfriend and I moved in together we got a joint account to pay all the bills. It makes life much easier.

You keep you own accounts, and get paid into those. Just set up a direct debit for X into the joint account and put all bills through that. We had debit cards on the account so even small items like bread and milk could be picked up through the joint account.

thats a great idea! having a debit card on the joint account for groceries etc! also maybe saving for hols, myself and my OH just use the old coin box, but id recommend that too OP, those coins build up after a few months!

Cerulean Chicken

Lots of great advice so far, we have a king size duvet on our double bed It took me 4 years and lots of fightsdisagreements before he learned how to keep a house habitable, he had a cleaner at home growing up so had no clue how to do anything around here.

ElleEm wrote: »

Best thing about living with your guy? Cuddles on demand Enjoy!!

I wandered out to the garage earlier about 10 minutes after he went out there just because I wanted a hug, you'd swear we hadn't seen each other in ages

eviltwin

Great advice there from everyone else, I can't think of anything to add, I suppose you have both talked about it and your expectations etc. Best advice I can give you is to enjoy it!! Its a great feeling, I can still remember the first time myself and himself went food shopping for "ourselves" as a couple and we were like a pair of giddy kids, those early days were a real learning curve but great fun. Best of luck.

ChippingSodbury

Remember, it's going to be a new venture for him too and he's not consciously going to do things to deliberately annoy you, as I'm sure you wouldn't do to him. It's all about compromise...

compromise

Did I mention compromise!

stanley1

toilet seat up or down ?

CaraMay

Op just make sure you both understand what moving in means to you individually. Some people assume moving in means engagement next, marriage etc and then lots think its just moving in together. So just make sure you are both in the same page as from my experience, it's much harder to finish a relationship where you are living together than not.

fenris

Sometimes chaps are quiet, it doesn't mean that they are in a bad mood or annoyed with you, we do the "cave" thing now and again then we are back to our normal sparkling selves.

Sometimes what people say is what they mean and nothing else, don't read too much into stuff or look for meaning that isn't there.

If you tell a chap about a problem, we will try and fix it or suggest solutions - no matter how many times you try to explain that you just want to talk about something, we try to fix things, it is just the way that we are wired, this is why we get impatient when girls keep talking about something when the solution is obvious and just needs doing.

Don't sleep or part on bad terms - ever.

Enjoy each other.

pwurple

Get a drawer for tampons and the like, that he doesn't share. I decided to keep mine in a random bathroom drawer where his razors were when I first moved in with a guy. He was morto for some reason.

So yeah, get some storage space of your own.

Mince Pie

Money, you need to have the chat about who contributes what. Its unromantic but my god it can cause so many problems. Its not called the root of all evil for nothing.

The Big Red Button

pwurple wrote: »

Get a drawer for tampons and the like, that he doesn't share. I decided to keep mine in a random bathroom drawer where his razors were when I first moved in with a guy. He was morto for some reason.

So yeah, get some storage space of your own.

I've only just moved in with my boyfriend.

I have to admit, I've had boxes of tampons lying around all over his bedroom and bathroom since we got together a year ago. That's not gonna change, either!

He's not weird about it. I'd find it very weird if he was!

April O Neill

womandriver wrote: »

Buy a duvet a size bigger than the bed.

And make sure the double bed is king-sized.

messymess

When he gets back from work you need to give him some time to eat something and sit down / relax before you tell him about the trials and tribulations of your day.

NeonCookies

Moving in with my boyfriend coincided with both of us moving out of our parents for the first time AND moving country. We live in a 25m squared apartment and have been for the last year. But, it's GREAT!

One huge thing we've really realized - don't keep things in. If you're not happy with something (eg. milk left out of the fridge, towel on the bedroom floor) SAY IT! This has the double benefit of not storing up anger for it all to explode, and your partner knowing what things you don't like so they can change it. It works both ways - don't get annoyed if your bf says you do something he doesn't like (this was a big problem for me, I don't take criticism well :P) Honestly, we have had no big rows since we moved in together, and I credit this approach for that!

Alone time is a big thing too. Despite living in such a small space, we could go a whole evening without talking, we just focus on our own thing. We're in the same room, but we're not together. Having said that, I was out all night last night with my friends and my bf said he was lonely here by himself! :pac:

Decide who'll do what, and play to your strengths. My bf openly admits that he just can't see mess, or when the floor needs sweeping so there's no point giving him that job. So, he does the obvious things that he can see easily - he cooks, and washes the dishes. I do general cleaning, bathroom, floors. We split laundry (cos we both hate it!) Be nice to your partner sometimes and do their job as a surprise! It keeps a good atmosphere in the house

Respect each others feelings, and enjoy it, it's fantastic We're leaving this month and will both be back with our respective parents until we sort ourselves out...dreading it.

pwurple

chatterpillar wrote: »

I've only just moved in with my boyfriend.

I have to admit, I've had boxes of tampons lying around all over his bedroom and bathroom since we got together a year ago. That's not gonna change, either!

He's not weird about it. I'd find it very weird if he was!

Well, it was nearly 20 years ago, he was moving out of his parents and didn't have any sisters. I think he had never seen one before and was genuinely puzzled. He was possibly trying to figure out what it was when it occured to him where it went. Haw.

Either way i think you do need to retain some privacy somewhere. Even if it's just a place to hide his birthday pressie.

The Big Red Button

pwurple wrote: »

Either way i think you do need to retain some privacy somewhere. Even if it's just a place to hide his birthday pressie.

Yeah I definitely agree you need to maintain some privacy and personal space. For example, we will never be one of those couples with an open-door policy for the bathroom!

Roger_007

scribbles2013 wrote: »

So I'm moving in with my boyfriend in a weeks time and I'm really excited/nervous about it!

Any advise for the first time living with a smelly boy?!:P

If ur not joking about the smelly bit, don't do it. It won't last.

dr.bollocko

Sometimes we stay up too late to watch sports we don't understand.

johnayo

womandriver wrote: »

Buy a duvet a size bigger than the bed.

Oh! does that mean your both sleeping in the same bed. The Bishop shall not be happy.:eek:

squod

Where is.........? This is important OP. If your other half asks you where is something never respond with '' I don't know, did you buy some ?''

There's two things men hate.

1. Shopping
2. People who answer a question with a question

wolfpawnat

- The TV is something to be shared. Sometimes sacrifices have to be made. For example, Mondays at 9 I get criminal minds, he gets GAA and soccer events, not equal I know since there is more sports than my 1 hour programme, but still, it works for us.

- Meet the girls by yourself, he doesn't want or need you holding his hand the whole time, same with him, let him off with the lads on a Friday for a few pints or whatever. Nothing is nicer than a good relaxing by yourself from time to time.

- Discuss bill paying immediately.

- Discuss the heating settings, I know this seems weird, but it is something we have argued about more than once (I live with a man that I am convinced is half polar bear!!!)

Enjoy

Supraman

Interesting thread with interesting responses ... what would I advise ?

Definitely sort money as it's very easy for it to be a strain on the relationship .

My partner and I made out what our essential bills were likely to be and we both pay in the same amount each week to a joint acc to cover bins , broadband , sky , electric and gas .

Shopping we both put in 50 a week each , if we've a few quid left over we might get a treat out of it.

Initial period is great , after a while though you'll find days/nights where you need space . He will too . So take it , make sure you have something to get your mind out of the house and expect him to do same .

Don't get too comfy or drift into the friend zone too far otherwise it'll feel like living with a nice housemate . It's very easy for the weeks/months to blend together without noticing the relationship is gone downhill as you've been more concerned by trivial housing matters .

We avoid this by making sure we have one night a week at least by getting out and about , be it a live gig , cinema , dinner etc . If the relationship is good it'll make the other issues easier to deal with when they come along .

Look after him but don't mother him , you shouldn't feel under pressure to take all housework . I do the bins , dishwasher , hang washing , cut the grass , wash the cars , sweep floors (badly) , ironing , breakfasts at weekend. Herself looks after the rest to be fair .

Don't worry about house being so clean you can eat your dinner off the floor , enjoy "living" in your new place and make the best of it