Recurring Relationship Dream?

ShaShaBear

At very irregular intervals, I have a partially-recurring dream (the events and content are different, but the subject and a few odd things are very consistant) about my partner leaving me. We're currently engaged, still extremely intimate physically and emotionally, we have never fought and live together. All in all I would say I am completely fulfilled in my relationship, and I know he is too.

The dream ALWAYS consists of:
My OH having already left me, I do not dream of the point where he tells me this, the dream always seems to start at the point where I know I've been dumped.
In all of the dreams, I am not sure how long I have been single, but am always wearing my ring, and at some point in every dream this becomes VERY apparent.
I always try to contact the OH, and he either ignores me or refuses to tell me why he left me. I then always proceed to contact his best friend, and then members of his immediate family, who cannot tell me either, but fully sympathize.
There is always a car in the dream, and I am always in it, but not always driving it (I can't drive, but sometimes in the dream I do).

Other than that, the dream is different every time, my most recent one was last night (and my OH always knows when Ive had them, I'm always in a terribly foul mood the second I wake, and he always holds me and reassures me everything is fine) and to be honest it's really starting to affect me. I can't sleep if OH doesn't come to bed with me, and if I happen to wake up and he's not there, I get extremely distressed (not upset, but very, very anxious) and am convinced the dream was real for about 15 minutes, or less if OH is in the house, despite elements of the dream being very unrealistic. My waking point in the dreams are always different, but the car is usually the last main focus I can recall upon waking.

I know most people would tell me its a subconscious fear of abandonment, but I was just wondering if there is perhaps more to it?

ShaShaBear

Still having it... no thoughts? :rolleyes:

lilium inter Spinas

Are you open to any feedback? Were you looking for a bit of dream insight?

Like the Mod says, everyone has a different interpretation of what a dream can mean, but ultimately the dreamer holds the key. So these are just my own opinions about what stuck out most in your dream.

The car/vehicle: An object used to get from point A to point B. You can also see it as the method of transition between two destinations or states of being in the dream world.
In your case, the car itself can symbolize your relationship with your fiance, and the transition from being in a relationship to being engaged. Is he the dominant one in your relationship? If so, then it may explain the reason why you're not always the one "in control" of the car. If lately you've tried to be a little more assertive in your relationship, it puts you in the driving seat, so to speak. It's basically a shift of power/control of the relationship.

I don't know if you and your fiance have thoroughly talked about your future plans together- housing, children, where you'll live, jobs, etc, but if you haven't, that can often feel like you're being "abandoned" or "left behind". And to be honest, I think it's normal for all brides-to-be to feel this way. If the power balance between a couple is severely lopsided, I think it can leave the more submissive half feeling pretty lost. Almost like their OH is steering the course of their life in a direction that might not always be what they want.

OH's friends & family: People you've come to rely on; given the situation happening in your dream, you'd hope they'd have your back and tell any information. But in essence, they can't come into the intimate aspect of your relationship because only you and your OH can work that out. And it's why they can "sympathize" but not give any other information. You have the answers.

Have you tried talking to your OH about your dreams? I would suggest it if you haven't and maybe you can both come up with your own interpretations that will hopefully give you some peace of mind. If your anxiety is reaching that kind of level, I'd also suggest talking to your GP or consulting a professional. And always involve your OH in every decision you take. If there's no underlying cause for your worry that the professionals can determine, at least it'll help calm your nerves some (and even give you meds for sleep). Then you can leave the stress for something fun... like wedding planning. Good luck and congrats.

ShaShaBear

lilium inter Spinas wrote: »

Are you open to any feedback? Were you looking for a bit of dream insight?

Like the Mod says, everyone has a different interpretation of what a dream can mean, but ultimately the dreamer holds the key. So these are just my own opinions about what stuck out most in your dream.

The car/vehicle: An object used to get from point A to point B. You can also see it as the method of transition between two destinations or states of being in the dream world.
In your case, the car itself can symbolize your relationship with your fiance, and the transition from being in a relationship to being engaged. Is he the dominant one in your relationship? If so, then it may explain the reason why you're not always the one "in control" of the car. If lately you've tried to be a little more assertive in your relationship, it puts you in the driving seat, so to speak. It's basically a shift of power/control of the relationship.

I don't know if you and your fiance have thoroughly talked about your future plans together- housing, children, where you'll live, jobs, etc, but if you haven't, that can often feel like you're being "abandoned" or "left behind". And to be honest, I think it's normal for all brides-to-be to feel this way. If the power balance between a couple is severely lopsided, I think it can leave the more submissive half feeling pretty lost. Almost like their OH is steering the course of their life in a direction that might not always be what they want.

OH's friends & family: People you've come to rely on; given the situation happening in your dream, you'd hope they'd have your back and tell any information. But in essence, they can't come into the intimate aspect of your relationship because only you and your OH can work that out. And it's why they can "sympathize" but not give any other information. You have the answers.

Have you tried talking to your OH about your dreams? I would suggest it if you haven't and maybe you can both come up with your own interpretations that will hopefully give you some peace of mind. If your anxiety is reaching that kind of level, I'd also suggest talking to your GP or consulting a professional. And always involve your OH in every decision you take. If there's no underlying cause for your worry that the professionals can determine, at least it'll help calm your nerves some (and even give you meds for sleep). Then you can leave the stress for something fun... like wedding planning. Good luck and congrats.

I think it was just outside insight we were looking on - OH is very good, he knows all of the dreams I've had. I suppose you are right, I would be the submissive one in a sense - I mean we make decisions together and I know what I want is equally important (and more often than not it becomes more important than what he wants. All the same, if I don't care, his idea/wish is usually what I go with :P
OH actually got the car changed over into my name, got me insured on it and is teaching me to drive. Since then, I haven't had the dream (8 nights) so I'm beginning to think I was worried about how easily he could leave me here and run off without saying a word. I know he wouldn't but I still know he could if that makes any sense. I reckon with learning to drive, I might get some of that power back, since I could just as easily "drive off" (even though I wouldn't). It sounds a bit shallow when I type it, but what you said makes a lot of sense in my head.

Thank you =D

lilium inter Spinas

You're welcome, though you did most of the deciphering by yourself, really. :P
Best of luck to ya.

ShaShaBear

lilium inter Spinas wrote: »

You're welcome, though you did most of the deciphering by yourself, really. :P
Best of luck to ya.

Didn't make any sense to me until I saw what you typed