Problem solving

Pure_Cork

Never ceases to amaze me when people try to solve a problem by doing something that will have no effect on the problem at all.

I work in a place where we have **** all skilled people on the tools.

Solution
- piss off the best skilled people on the tools so they resign
- replace them with fewer people, who are less skilled & experienced
- hire more managers
- piss off the existing managers because of all the above combined with lack of work, so they resign

Simply outstanding.

Where To

Did you hear about the word class farmer?

He was out standing in his field.

kfallon

Are you trying to beat davet82's record for most threads started in a single day?

castletownman

Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?

He worked the log out with a pencil

Where To

Did you hear about the deaf kamikaze pilot?

No? Neither did he.

Ghandee

Did you hear about the magic tractor?


**it turned into a field**

Max Power

Where To wrote: »

Did you hear about the word class farmer?

He was out standing in his field.

Isn't that 2 words?

Dave0301

I opened up the thread expecting some sort of interesting logic challenge.

Instead I opened a thread full of empty promises and disappointment.

Where To

FionnMcCool87 wrote: »

Isn't that 2 words?

No it's one word.

Where To

Dave0301 wrote: »

I opened up the thread expecting some sort of interesting logic challenge.

Instead I opened a thread full of empty promises and disappointment.

Did you hear about the man expecting an interesting logical challenge on AH?

He was shown two shovels and told to take his pick.

Best username ever

Pure_Cork wrote: »

Never ceases to amaze me when people try to solve a problem by doing something that will have no effect on the problem at all.

I work in a place where we have **** all skilled people on the tools.

Solution
- piss off the best skilled people on the tools so they resign
- replace them with fewer people, who are less skilled & experienced
- hire more managers
- piss off the existing managers because of all the above combined with lack of work, so they resign

Simply outstanding.

What's the moral of the story?

The answer is 4 bananas.

Why?

Because elephants don't eat walla chucks for breakfast.

Talk To Frank

I was going to tell you a joke about an electric drill, but it's too boring.

Where To

Best username ever wrote: »

What's the moral of the story?

The answer is 4 bananas.

Why?

Because elephants don't eat walla chucks for breakfast.

Did you hear about the elephant who had bananas for breakfast?

He hadn't a ****ing clue what a walla chuck is.

im invisible

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Where To

Talk To Frank wrote: »

I was going to tell you a joke about an electric drill, but it's too boring.

I'd tell you the one about the 18 year old nymphomaniac virgin supermodel but you wouldn't get it.

Where To

im invisible wrote: »

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

None.

It's a rhetorical question.

Pure_Cork

Where To wrote: »

None.

It's a rhetorical question.

You're wrong. The answer is 17.

Where To

Pure_Cork wrote: »

You're wrong. The answer is 17.

Yes, but what is the question?

Ghandee

Did you hear about the man who lived in a Tyre?

He got a puncture.


Yeah, sad story and all, but he lives in a flat now.

Best username ever

Where To wrote: »

Did you hear about the elephant who had bananas for breakfast?

He hadn't a ****ing clue what a walla chuck is.

It's a bit like a chaz-wazzer, only smaller.

wexie

A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts, "Excuse me. Can you help me? I promised my friend I would meet him half an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man below says, "Yes, you are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 40 feet above this field. You are between 46 & 48 degrees N latitude and between 52 & 56 degrees W. longitude."

"You must be an engineer," says the balloonist.
"I am," replies the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct but I have no idea what to make of your information and the fact is I am still lost."

The man below says, "You must be a Manager"
"I am," replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well," says the man below, "you don't know where you are or where you are going. You have made a promise which you have no idea how to keep and you expect me to solve your problem. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met but now it is somehow my fault."

Where To

wexie wrote: »

A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts, "Excuse me. Can you help me? I promised my friend I would meet him half an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man below says, "Yes, you are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 40 feet above this field. You are between 46 & 48 degrees N latitude and between 52 & 56 degrees W. longitude."

"You must be an engineer," says the balloonist.
"I am," replies the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct but I have no idea what to make of your information and the fact is I am still lost."

The man below says, "You must be a Manager"
"I am," replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well," says the man below, "you don't know where you are or where you are going. You have made a promise which you have no idea how to keep and you expect me to solve your problem. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met but now it is somehow my fault."

Is this a joke for intelligent people?

evolving_doors

Pure_Cork wrote: »

Never ceases to amaze me when people try to solve a problem by doing something that will have no effect on the problem at all.

I work in a place where we have **** all skilled people on the tools.

Solution
- piss off the best skilled people on the tools so they resign
- replace them with fewer people, who are less skilled & experienced
- hire more managers
- piss off the existing managers because of all the above combined with lack of work, so they resign

Simply outstanding.

I' ve noticed that there is either a distinct lack of/ or decrease in the amount of swans in the op's place of employment... Just sayin is all......

Ando's Saggy Bottom

Ghandee wrote: »

Did you hear about the magic tractor?


**it turned into a field**

Did you hear about the magic trailer?

It was attched to the magic tractor.

Best username ever

wexie wrote: »

A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts, "Excuse me. Can you help me? I promised my friend I would meet him half an hour ago, but I don't know where I am?"

See there's your problem right there, peeling sausages in a hot air balloon without the proper equipment is very dangerous.

Always bring the automatic duck machine for long journeys.

TeddyTedson

kfallon wrote: »

Are you trying to beat davet82's record for most threads started in a single day?

I believe that was my record, then I was banned, but a lobotomy cured me. Just like I'm sure it will this fine corconian.

girl2

Pure_Cork wrote: »

Never ceases to amaze me when people try to solve a problem by doing something that will have no effect on the problem at all.

I work in a place where we have **** all skilled people on the tools.

Solution
- piss off the best skilled people on the tools so they resign
- replace them with fewer people, who are less skilled & experienced
- hire more managers
- piss off the existing managers because of all the above combined with lack of work, so they resign

Simply outstanding.

Is this the reason you're angry??

TeddyTedson

I'm going to cause some hysterics now in your other thread by replying to myself, as you
edit - Actually I'm not because it's now locked

Pure_Cork

girl2 wrote: »

Is this the reason you're angry??

One of many reasons. I'm not all that angry though. I'll no doubt end up joining many others in leaving. I've come to accept that the place will be a cluster**** and it won't change anytime soon.

The King of Moo

My workplace also has issues which ought to be resolved.

Discuss!

girl2

The King of Moo wrote: »

My workplace also has issues which ought to be resolved.

Discuss!

Ya wanna spend a week in the place I work :eek:

The King of Moo

girl2 wrote: »

Ya wanna spend a week in the place I work :eek:

At least we can comfort ourselves by remembering that we're not forced to work in the Dickensian utilitarian nightmare the OP has to work in, where laissez-faire capitalism has reduced skilled workers to mere drudges, and all those tools go un...tooled.

Did you hear about the Kerry IRA man who tried to blow up a car?

He burned his lips on the exhaust.

Canis Lupus

I prefer antijokes.

Why did the boy drop his icecream?


Because he was hit by a bus.