is masturbation better than sex?

Lionel Messy

In my opinion, yeah. No pressure. It also feels better than sticking it.

1ZRed

Hi virgin

PrettyBoy

You're doing it wrong.

Celly Smunt

Only when i'm in dominos screaming for a batter sausage.

Mr Cumulonimbus

Didn't you score 91 times last year?

PirateShampoo

Did your mum give you your nick name?

sfwcork

Sticking it?

Max Power

And that's enough internet for me.

*logs off*

Cavehill Red

It's definitely handier.

sfwcork

Near 10 posts and no ma joke yet

Well done AH

Vicar in a tutu

You do realise everyone here is a virgin..

Yamanoto

Pros & Cons

I imagine I'd struggle to have sex AND watch Homes Under the Hammer at the same time

kneemos

sfwcork wrote: »

Near 10 posts and no ma joke yet

Well done AH

Well if it's sex with his mother I'd prefer the wrist.

Celly Smunt

Yamanoto wrote: »

Pros & Cons

I imagine I'd struggle to have sex AND watch Homes Under the Hammer at the same time

you wouldn't struggle watching holmes on homes,trust me.

Merkin

Lionel Messy wrote: »

In my opinion, yeah. No pressure. It also feels better than sticking it.

Sticking it where? To a wall or your nearest notice board? Do you know how sex works OP?

1ZRed

On a side note is anyone else getting vesectomy ads at the top of the page as well?


Must be a testament to how much I don't think masturbation is better than sex :pac:

Tar.Aldarion

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush?!

Yamanoto

Tar.Aldarion wrote: »

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush?!

Or one with the hand's worth two in Kate Bush?

kneemos

I think the op may be twelve.

JonEBGud

Lionel Messy wrote: »

In my opinion, yeah. No pressure. It also feels better than sticking it.

Footballers these days, getting too much sex and can't handle it. . .

Fromthetrees

Lionel Messy wrote: »

In my opinion, yeah. No pressure. It also feels better than sticking it.

Pressure?

The only pressure you should feel should be in your penis just before you blow your load, role off, fall asleep, piss the bed, wake up to the women screaming and hitting you hysterically, run out of her house with your clothes in your hands, get home and shower, smoke a joint and play the Ps3 until the pubs open before you can begin drinking again. ****ing pressure me arse. :rolleyes:

sfwcork

I knew a guy in college that was obsessed with danger ****

bluecode

1ZRed wrote: »

On a side note is anyone else getting vesectomy ads at the top of the page as well?


Must be a testament to how much I don't think masturbation is better than sex :pac:

No Western union and Sky TV.

But to answer the OP, no.

wardy2

op must like pam and her five friends

demanufactured

Sorry what???
You've had some really bad sex op.

Tiddlypeeps

demanufactured wrote: »

Sorry what???
You've had some really bad sex op.

Or maybe he is just really really good at masturbating

demanufactured

Tiddlypeeps wrote: »

Or maybe he is just really really good at masturbating

Some w.anker.

Lionel Messy

Fromthetrees wrote: »

Pressure?

The only pressure you should feel should be in your penis just before you blow your load, role off, fall asleep, piss the bed, wake up to the women screaming and hitting you hysterically, run out of her house with your clothes in your hands, get home and shower, smoke a joint and play the Ps3 until the pubs open before you can begin drinking again. ****ing pressure me arse. :rolleyes:

No, I will not pressure your arse. Great piece though. Joyce like... Or not.

full_irish

1ZRed wrote: »

On a side note is anyone else getting vesectomy ads at the top of the page as well?


Must be a testament to how much I don't think masturbation is better than sex :pac:

Sure you're one of those 'homosexuals' 1ZRed... why in the hell are you getting 'vasectomy ads'??

I'm pretty sure your swimmers won't be fertilising any eggs where they're going

although i stand to be corrected

Mongfinder General

Who cares? Either way you can still wipe your micky in the curtains.

Wade in the Sea

I'm gonna give you the benefit of the doubt and guess you might be serious.

Answer: Yes, if you have intimacy issues. My tip would be stop pulling the guts out of yourself for a few days, and spend more "quality" time with your partner.

Wow I seem to have come over all Dr Ruth :eek:

CrazyRabbit

Depends on who you would be having sex with, how many they are, and how slutty they are.

JonEBGud

Don't try frying bacon and **** at the same time. . .:D

dan185

demanufactured wrote: »

Sorry what???
You've had some really bad sex op.

I had a really bad sex op once, left with half a vagina.

Sofiztikated

1ZRed wrote: »

On a side note is anyone else getting vesectomy ads at the top of the page as well?


Must be a testament to how much I don't think masturbation is better than sex :pac:

Nope. I was getting VW ads. So porn for the majority of Irish motorists.

Do I like some self loving? Course I do. Great way to pass the time, release stress, fall asleep, cure blue balls, increase your electricity bill, and so on. Some times I'm in the mood for a fast and furious speed ****, some times it's an hour long self love session. I can dictate what I want.

Is it better than sex? No. It's different.

Does anyone else find that the more sex you have, the more hand shandies you knock out?

I will say that there is nothing like the disappointment you feel when prematurely ejaculate when you're down for a good long bollock bashing.

BillyMitchel

OP I'm going to give you a hand here but not in the sense you are talking about.

Maybe you just worded it wrong but no it's not 98% of the time but I've had one night stands were I would of been better of going home for a hand shandy and a pot noodle.

Now if you think it's better all the time then try leave yourself alone for a few days and go chase some women, any women. Just get that sexual frustration out of you.

Sofiztikated

Wade in the Sea wrote: »

I'm gonna give you the benefit of the doubt and guess you might be serious.

Answer: Yes, if you have intimacy issues. My tip would be stop pulling the guts out of yourself for a few days, and spend more "quality" time with your partner.

Wow I seem to have come over all Dr Ruth :eek:

I've done that once or twice as well. It's ok, everyone knocks one out to day time TV.

AG2R

1ZRed wrote: »

On a side note is anyone else getting vesectomy ads at the top of the page as well?


Must be a testament to how much I don't think masturbation is better than sex :pac:

laser eye surgery for me....

Itwasntme.

AH answer: No, it causes blindness.

Serious answer: If we are talking about only the physical sensations, then yes, it's waaaaaaaaaay better. Mere mortals cannot compete with battery operated toyfriends.

efb

no- but wank him off while he's giving you head, its only polite.

Akarinn

No! go home OP, your drunk!

Lionel Messy

BillyMitchel wrote: »

OP I'm going to give you a hand here but not in the sense you are talking about.

Maybe you just worded it wrong but no it's not 98% of the time but I've had one night stands were I would of been better of going home for a hand shandy and a pot noodle.

Now if you think it's better all the time then try leave yourself alone for a few days and go chase some women, any women. Just get that sexual frustration out of you.

I've had loads of good sex but a good army tank just feels better. There's no BS chat for ages beforehand. It's just good and even if your locked its still rock hard.

I've had sex with some of the most beautiful women in the world but drink is drink. Some of it was incredible though

1ZRed

full_irish wrote: »

Sure you're one of those 'homosexuals' 1ZRed... why in the hell are you getting 'vasectomy ads'??

I'm pretty sure your swimmers won't be fertilising any eggs where they're going

although i stand to be corrected

Fucked if I know why but I suppose it would be handy if ever I did wander off to try the girls every now and then.

But then again how else do you expect me to get my kid?? Being snipped isn't gonna help that :pac:

admiralofthefleet

how hairy are your palms op?

Lionel Messy

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

how hairy are your palms op?

Yer ma's gee might be a decent indication.

admiralofthefleet

Lionel Messy wrote: »

Yer ma's gee might be a decent indication.

ooohhhhhhhhhh controversial

mud

Masturbation is better than BAD sex :pac:

Bad Santa

Only if you lay on your arm for for a good while first, so it's completely numb.

La_Gordy

mud wrote: »

Masturbation is better than BAD sex :pac:

Agreed!!

Lionel Messy

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

ooohhhhhhhhhh controversial

AH banter. Your a ledge here. You know it.

admiralofthefleet

Lionel Messy wrote: »

AH banter. Your a ledge here. You know it.

so's yer oul one

/AH banter