Is it taboo to say parenting isn't that bad?

lazygal

People, when they find out we have a wee lass of almost eight months, seem to think we're having a bad time of it. Broken sleep, house in chaos, no social life and obsessed with childrearing. But we've found it fine. Of course there's ups and downs and maybe we just got lucky with an easy baby, but I find with some people, particularly those with children themselves, seem to be all about how hard it is. They almost delight in horror stories, like the colleague who has three kids, 6, 9 and 10, and says he hasn't had a full nights sleep in years. Well we had one last night, and the night before that, and will hopefully keep having them. I can't function in a messy house and I've found life easier all round to be organised, so there's little or no chaos. Then when you say you're finding it grand, other parents pull out the trump card "Wait till you have another! THEN you'll see what its really like'. Does anyone else feel like this? That other parents are all about the martyrdom but parenting really isn't as bad as they might make out?

Neyite

I have found it grand so far, but then our only child is 8 months. So maybe the terrible twos have some horrors I dont know about.

I have had the occasional full night of sleep but more often than not baby wakes at least once. I dont think I am tired - I've adjusted and still take naps, but I'm on maternity leave so of course its nice and easy when I dont have to juggle getting both of us fed and ready in the morning and not being late for work, or wondering how to cope when they are sick and I cant take any more days off work and I've no backup or any of those scenarios.

I might revist this topic when I have a bit more experience in 2030 :pac:

dahamsta

I thought much the same until my fella was around that age, but it gets more disruptive. A head cold (or worse) or a bad dose of teething will kill the sleepy nights off pretty quickly, and as soon as they start exploring properly they start causing havoc. And then more havoc. I'm still batting above average and when he smiles it's easy to forget, but sometimes you just want to ESCAPE! :-)

Number 2 will be here in 3 weeks in our house. I've no idea how we'll manage, and how our house won't melt with the dirt from food and... emanations, but manage we will.

Still though, roll on 2032!

emer_b

I understand you lazygal, my little one is only 4months old but it really hasn't been that bad so far. I'm not naive enough to think it will always be like this but when people told me the first 6 weeks would be hell I was expecting the worst...which didn't happen. When explaining this to other mums they seem to delight in saying "oh don't worry, it won't last" or "wait until she starts teething".
Of course it hasn't been a walk in the park but I've been through tougher experiences.
I find it funny too when people say "oh you look great after just having a baby", I think we're expected to go around with greasy hair and puke stained clothes for a few months

Cavehill Red

Talk to me again when your youngest hits 18! Your parenting has barely begun.

slarkin123

I've 2 boys and a girl, 3 9 & 12. It gets harder as they get more independent and older. Even now my 3 year old, who has been a little dream since he was born, is starting to act up a bit. My sister in law had 3 girls all with 2 years in between, and her house was nothing but arguments 24/7 over the most ridiculous things.

Cavehill Red

By the way, I don't wish to give the impression that it suddenly turns easy once they become legal adults. Far from it! Just that theoretically you're no longer responsible and can disown them if you wish. Have occasionally been tempted!

CaraMay

Op I think that's an Irish thing - people like to moan about how hard they have it but then pat themselves on the back at the same time by demonstrating that they are getting through the hardship... There is also the 'I know more than you' attitud..

Parenting is one subject you get streams of unwanted advice and patronising comments on and often from people you don't know yet.

I think a lot of it is down to attitude - you have a positive one and others don't.

Hannibal Smith

I think its harder for some than others...just because you've had it difficult doesn't mean everyone else will. but also just because you've had it easy doesn't mean every one else does.

all children are different and bring different things to the table. I think the first 3 months of no sleep and constant feeding are tough and its a bit unfair to label it an 'Irish' thing or to remark negatively on those who have found it tricky.

once you pass that stage its a doddle ...until they're fully talking...are completely independent and do nothing you ask

CaraMay

Hannibal I have had a year of hell but would never tell a new mum that it gets harder - it's all relative.

I have lived in a few different countries and have never heard parents go on like they do here so I do think its an Irish martyrdom thing

Wise Old Elf

Funnily enough, I would have thought the opposite. Like one of the posters above, we've had a difficult year with our 4 year old, but I find it difficult to tell people that we find it hard; brave face on and a wry smile.

looksee

I had two children who were so easy I was convinced I was the original earth mother, obviously I was a brilliant parent! Then we had one that was ill from birth, and then one that alternated between angelic in the day and screaming all night for over a year. That was indeed, very hard work!

Enjoy your lovely babies, they are a whole new experience of life, even if they are a bit temperamental they are still gorgeous

Gambas

lazygal wrote: »

THEN you'll see what its really like'. Does anyone else feel like this? That other parents are all about the martyrdom but parenting really isn't as bad as they might make out?

Just tell them you probably don't find it too bad because you love your kids.

It's all relative. Some children are harder than others.
My son was a bad sleeper as a baby and we both found it very hard goIng. My brother's daughter had colic and reflux and that was tough. SIL had the opposite problem in trying to put on a brave face at mother and baby groups while everyone else seemed to be getting along just fine.
She also had post natal depression which is extremely common, more so than people realise.

Eight months is a lovely age. They may not be crawling yet, are not walking but are more interactive with you and happy to be brought places. You can keep your house clutter free easily.
Make the most of it because in a year's time that probably won't be the case!
Toddlers are a very different ball game.
They are far more demanding of your attention and if they don't get it are liable to throw tantrums.
Cleaning up with a toddler around is like shovelling snow during a snowstorm, you're wasting your time! Toddlers are messy and like throwing things around, shoving toys and food into every orifice in the house and climbing on everything.

Enjoy enjoying parenting. I'm not a martyr but it won't always be this easy. If you have another they may be exactly the same and sleep well and be lovely and placid, but they may not ...

Cavehill Red

Cavehill Red wrote: »

Talk to me again when your youngest hits 18! Your parenting has barely begun.

It's these kind of 'trump-card' quotes that I think the OP is referring to.

Das Kitty

You know, I think it's good that parents are open about how difficult they find it when they do.

Imagine if everyone pretended it was easy and then you were hit with it.

Our perceptions are based on what our expectations were, and if you were expecting a total breeze, you might feel worse about how it's going.

kippy

Once you accept a few things about rearing kids things tend to get better.
1. Your house is not your own anymore. It will never be as tidy as it once was. Accept this instead of trying to keep it as tidy as it once was.
2. Mealtimes will never be the same again.
3. Routines are all well and good, and just when you think the "routine" is sorted, something (sickness, teething etc) comes along and messes it up. Don't get too obsessed by it.
4. At some point(right up until they are "old"), you will have sleepless nights.
5. Not every temperature is an A and E issue.
6. Cuts and bruises happen, it's par for the course.
7. Following the "best practices" is all well and good in the books, but in the real world, you sometimes have to deviate.
8. Things MAY get frayed between the parents, especially if sleep is an issue. Try and up your patience levels in general.
9. Almost most importantly, every kid is different - try not to compare/contrast them, just bring them up as best you can.

GeorgeBailey

To be honest I find it annoying and insulting that people are calling it martyrdom. It's great for those who've had an easy time of it, it really is. But for others, for various reasons, it can be anything but easy. And when you're finding things difficult I think it's important that you do talk about it instead of bottling things up and then more than likely making things worse when at home.

pwurple

Meh. It's all relative. I think some peoples lives change more than others. We used to be a very active couple before. Both worked long hours and loved our jobs. Out 6 out of 7 evenings a week doing sports, charity work, clubs, night courses or with friends/family. Those evening activites go for a while when baby comes along. It is a shift, so that took a bit of grtting used to. If you were a chill-at-home kind of person to begin with, maybe with a dog or cat around, then it is not such a big change. And it comes back a bit as they get older and you get babysitters. There is still no way I would go out even 2 evenings a week now though, and she is nearly 2.

There a lot of taboos in parenting. I found it pretty hellish when I was trying to breastfeed, and a piece of cake when I gave that the boot. Not everyone's experience, and I would encourage everyone to try it. Most people find it much easier than I did. When that ended for me, it was lovely for the next 6 months.

Then I found it hard around the weaning time as well. She got those allergic reactions to foods and we were racing to the hospital with a barely breathing child. That was tough, especially with the guilt that it was from something you just fed her.

Once we figured that bit out, we were all good again. It is happy days since. It is always a warning bell when people ask how long she sleeps. That means theirs doesn't! Tread carefully.

We are all very lucky to be getting sleep with our healthy contented children now. Try not to gloat too much over the frazzled ones!

Gambas

Das Kitty wrote: »

You know, I think it's good that parents are open about how difficult they find it when they do.

Imagine if everyone pretended it was easy and then you were hit with it.

Our perceptions are based on what our expectations were, and if you were expecting a total breeze, you might feel worse about how it's going.

I think the problem is that often parents who are having a genuinely tough time are often the ones that will say 'oh, its fine', and ones who only have themselves to blame, through priorities in lifestyle or other choices who are quick to make out that it is very difficult for everyone.

Gambas

Cavehill Red wrote: »

Talk to me again when your youngest hits 18! Your parenting has barely begun.

Won't you be in a old peoples home by then?

Das Kitty

Gambas wrote: »

I think the problem is that often parents who are having a genuinely tough time are often the ones that will say 'oh, its fine', and ones who only have themselves to blame, through priorities in lifestyle or other choices who are quick to make out that it is very difficult for everyone.

Can you elaborate on this?

Either you're finding it tough or you're not. I don't see what priorities in lifestyle have to do with it.

Hannibal Smith

CaraMay wrote: »

Hannibal I have had a year of hell but would never tell a new mum that it gets harder - it's all relative.

I have lived in a few different countries and have never heard parents go on like they do here so I do think its an Irish martyrdom thing

so you have found it difficult then? you just prefer not to talk about how difficult it is?

I have heard plenty of parents moan about hoe difficult parenting is through lack of sleep....of lots of different nationalities. one of my best friends who is German was frequently reduced to tears she was so tired.

Gee_G

I love every bit of being a parent but my god it can get tough. Like the day when your baby will not sleep and screams the house down but I've no problem telling anyone this But in general, I have To say I don't find it as hard as I thought I wouLd

seamus

All in all, we've actually had a pretty easy time of it. OK, she slept in two hour stints at the very start and for a few nights in a row would wake in the middle of the night absolutely screaming with wind.

The sleep issue always being the killer. I don't think it's possible to have it explained to you until you're there. So for new parents like ourselves, I imagine that's the "Oh sweet Jesus" part. For the subsequent children no doubt the sleep deprivation is just as difficult, but at least you're prepared for it.

I know people who are celebrating 5 hours of continuous sleep for a four-month-old. We've been getting 8 to 9 hours of continuous sleep since she was 9 weeks old*, and we're aware that this is extremely lucky.

We're still having difficulty adjusting to the lack of freedom. Whereas before I would think nothing of coming home from work and going out for a run and my wife would think nothing of getting a phone call during the day to go out to the pub later that night, these things are now gone for the next 20 years. Particularly that my wife is breastfeeding exclusively, she can't just go somewhere on a whim and leave me holding the baby. Likewise I feel bad just swanning off for an hour's run or a few pints because she's already been doing all the baby-related work all day and needs a break.
When she's off the breast for most of her feeds, hopefully this should make personal freedom a lot easier for both of us.

I strongly agree with pwurple on that front - if your days consistent of lots of coming and going, then a newborn will be a dramatic change to your lifestyle that can leave you feeling a little suffocated. But if you tend to spend your evenings chilling out reading or watching TV anyway, then a child will require less adjustment.

There's also a relationship element which I wasn't expecting. Best described by my brother last weekend - "For the first few months, you're no longer a couple. You're just two colleagues working in the same environment towards the same goal".

A child is hard work. I don't think it's "taboo" to say otherwise, it's just plain incorrect. OK, maybe not "hard" work, it's just constant work with little breaks. That said, I've no time for martyrs to it either. People who spend all their time going on about how terrible their life is because now they have a child. 2 seconds looking at her face erases any possible "badness" from the work of looking after her.

*It's six hours for me because she doesn't go down till after midnight, but it's six continuous hours, every night. Which is great.

lazygal

seamus wrote: »

these things are now gone for the next 20 years.[/size]

Seriously? I don't know about your parents but mine were able to have a more spontaneous social life well before I hit 20, and I'm the eldest.

seamus

lazygal wrote: »

Seriously? I don't know about your parents but mine were able to have a more spontaneous social life well before I hit 20, and I'm the eldest.

Well we're on our first, so 20 years being a rough estimate.

I suppose by the time the eldest is 14/15 you can leave them to babysit for a couple of hours while you go out.

Gambas

seamus wrote: »

A child is hard work. I don't think it's "taboo" to say otherwise, it's just plain incorrect. OK, maybe not "hard" work, it's just constant work with little breaks. That said, I've no time for martyrs to it either. People who spend all their time going on about how terrible their life is because now they have a child. 2 seconds looking at her face erases any possible "badness" from the work of looking after her.

Well said. Of course it requires effort. So does anything that is worth doing. But barring illness or other major issues, you should be enjoying it.

Gambas

Das Kitty wrote: »

Can you elaborate on this?

Either you're finding it tough or you're not. I don't see what priorities in lifestyle have to do with it.

It's pretty self-explanatory. For example, if the parent or kids is ill that is a genuinely tough situation.

However, if the parent is complaining (or a boast masquerading a a complaint) because they are having to provide a normal healthy kid with the time, energy and patience required, then that is completely different.

Das Kitty

Gambas wrote: »

It's pretty self-explanatory. For example, if the parent or kids is ill that is a genuinely tough situation.

However, if the parent is complaining (or a boast masquerading a a complaint) because they are having to provide a normal healthy kid with the time, energy and patience required, then that is completely different.

That's a pretty judgemental stance. That someone needs to be ill for someone to be allowed to find parenting difficult.

It's okay for anyone to find parenting trying, and to talk about it, IMO.

eviltwin

The older they get the harder it is. Give me a screaming, teething baby over a moody teenager any day.

I'm lucky my 15 yr old is a great kid, works hard, never gives us any grief. I still worry though, about her education, about her career etc. I don't worry half so much about the toddler. Yeah physically he's more demanding but all he needs is food, time, love and he's sorted. As your kids grow and get more independant there are more things to be concerned about and thats when it gets tough.

It is relative as other people say, you can be unlucky and have a tough child or have issues yourself. I had PND with both so I'll hold my hands up and say the early days were hell for me. You might not have support, you might be parenting on your own or under other stress that impacts on how you parent.

But it is early days when you're talking about a young baby, they change so so much so expect your experiences of being a parent to change too as they grow.

movingsucks

My take on this is you never know what's coming next, my 8 month old, sleeps through since she was 10 weeks, has had one cold so far and is generally "good" (Unless you want to give her a bath)
However, when I was a baby I was as good as gold, slept all the time and not a moments trouble .... Then I turned two and I turned into THE ANTICHRIST. Screamy, whingey, clingy, always getting ear infections, terrible tantrums God I don't know how my parents didn't leave me on the side of a road somewhere. That lasted until I was about 9 I'd say.
Some of my mates have had colic and reflux babies, babies who don't sleep they are all different and they can be a bit quick to jump on anything even slightly negative I allude to (eg I was on the phone to one of them and the baby was "talking" and my friend asked "is that her crying?" I said "ah no she's just giving out" and she replied "oh Jesus". If the child was roaring I could understand the reaction but she wasnt.. Anyway)
I think people who have a hard time can feel a bit isolated, like it's the opposite you're not meant to complain about sleepless nights and so on.
So I always say she's good ... For now.

Gambas

Das Kitty wrote: »

That's a pretty judgemental stance. That someone needs to be ill for someone to be allowed to find parenting difficult.

It's okay for anyone to find parenting trying, and to talk about it, IMO.

Nice manipulation there Kitty.

Illness was used as an example, not the only reason.

'Trying' is so mild as to be meaningless in this context.

But you got the dig in that you couldn't justify in the first post. Well done.

eviltwin

movingsucks wrote: »

My take on this is you never know what's coming next, my 8 month old, sleeps through since she was 10 weeks, has had one cold so far and is generally "good" (Unless you want to give her a bath)
However, when I was a baby I was as good as gold, slept all the time and not a moments trouble .... Then I turned two and I turned into THE ANTICHRIST. Screamy, whingey, clingy, always getting ear infections, terrible tantrums God I don't know how my parents didn't leave me on the side of a road somewhere. That lasted until I was about 9 I'd say.
Some of my mates have had colic and reflux babies, babies who don't sleep they are all different and they can be a bit quick to jump on anything even slightly negative I allude to (eg I was on the phone to one of them and the baby was "talking" and my friend asked "is that her crying?" I said "ah no she's just giving out" and she replied "oh Jesus". If the child was roaring I could understand the reaction but she wasnt.. Anyway)
I think people who have a hard time can feel a bit isolated, like it's the opposite you're not meant to complain about sleepless nights and so on.
So I always say she's good ... For now.

My 3 year old was sleeping through the night at 4 weeks, cue the smug mammy here. Fast forward to today and he hasn't slept a full night in nearly six months. Parenting karma ensures you get your fair share somewhere along the line

Moonbeam

I find pregnancy a lot harder then child rearing so far.
I also could do with out child birth.
My 3 are all January so 12 days old,almost 2 and just gone 4.
I find the 1st few weeks of breast feeding torture because well I do not find it easy and it hurts and it i nearly contant also I love my sleep and need it too.
My 1st girl got combined fed and slept through the night from 6 weeks my 2nd slept though the night from about 8/9 weeks. I class though the night a 7/8 hours with out them waking.
Currently I am back to being a zombie for a few weeks.

Das Kitty

Gambas wrote: »

Nice manipulation there Kitty.

Illness was used as an example, not the only reason.

'Trying' is so mild as to be meaningless in this context.

But you got the dig in that you couldn't justify in the first post. Well done.

My intention wasn't to manipulate or have a dig. I still don't understand how a parent can only have themselves to blame for finding parenting difficult.

I often find parenting difficult, and we have no major issues. Sometimes being a parent is just a pain in the arse. And I think it's fine to say that aloud and not expect to be judged over it.

Moonbeam

Gambas and Das Kitty less of the bickering please

Hannibal Smith

our first is a great sleeper....the second one not so great....but having said that...they're both in their beds asleep by 7.30. and all we do is tuck them in read a story...bottle for the youngest and off they go to sleep by themselves. its great now.

this time last year we were in hell with the two of them...the youngest wasn't sleeping and when he did the eldest was running round in the middle of the night like forrest gump . we have no family near by and it was blooming tough. I don't see why I should have to apologise for saying that?

it is all so so worth it and I wouldn't change a minute of it...but it was hard.

congratulations moonbeams ! what did you
have?

Moonbeam

A little boy to go with my 2 girl:)

Hannibal Smith

Moonbeam wrote: »

A little boy to go with my 2 girl:)

aww brilliant! congrats again xxx

I'd agree that the adjustment to parenting depends on the life you had pre-baby.
Like others here my husband and I had a lot of hobbies and interests outside work and weren't the type to sit in front of the telly in the evenings. So I flounder the initial adjustment difficult. I was bored stupid on maternity leave.

I take my son to a couple of mother and toddler groups and having struck up friendships with other mums we're honest with each other. Not one of us has had an easy ride in parenting. Whether it's because the child was harder work, PND, subsequent children upending a previously smooth family life or combining work with home life, we have all had rough times.

If parenting is genuinely easy for someone I'm delighted for them. I'm a little smug at the moment because life with my son is relatively easy at the moment, but I am not naive to believe it will always be like this. We are one bout of sickness, teething, developmental stages, general life change away from another rough patch.

Cavehill Red

Deleted User wrote: »

It's these kind of 'trump-card' quotes that I think the OP is referring to.

What 'trump card'? How can the OP reasonably be considered to have found parenting easy when they've barely started doing it?

Cavehill Red

Gambas wrote: »

Won't you be in a old peoples home by then?

Unless they're still having more kids in a few decades time, no.

lounakin

I agree that it's different for everybody. I find it very difficult. My baby is 8 months and she doesn't sleep. Everyday it gets harder and harder to function with lack of sleep, I do think it influences my parenting because most of the time I don't know what to do. Since she was born she has slept more than 3 hours at a time 3 or 4 times only, but I remember all of them because of the feeling of hope I got from a few hours of sleep! My mind was clear for the next few days!

kippy

lounakin wrote: »

I agree that it's different for everybody. I find it very difficult. My baby is 8 months and she doesn't sleep. Everyday it gets harder and harder to function with lack of sleep, I do think it influences my parenting because most of the time I don't know what to do. Since she was born she has slept more than 3 hours at a time 3 or 4 times only, but I remember all of them because of the feeling of hope I got from a few hours of sleep! My mind was clear for the next few days!

Can you alternate the sleep with your partner?

Squ

It's different for every body. Even with similar kids to us (age/behaviour) my brother is finding it very difficult, where we are not.

Himself and his wife are obviously at the end of their tether, with even the smallest thing setting them off. (You could cut the atmosphere with a knife when they had a fight about who's turn it was to change the nappy)

Last week, he looked like he was about to faint when we offered to take his three overnight. Yeah it was chaos with 6 wee 'uns in the house, but sure wont the house be clean and tidy for long enough when they're all grown up.

Each time the baby screams with the teething at 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 in the morning, i put myself in her shoes and think how frightening it must be to be going through the pain, with no idea why.

Oh, and to answer your question, yes, no one wants to hear you don't mind it. So I've learnt to just say we're taking it one day at a time. Which isn't lying!


Tldr; different for everyone, depends on how you handle stress

Ginny

It's different for everyone and different for every baby, sure you'd get a different response from me on how I'm finding it on 2 consecutive days. Our little one is nearly 6 months old, from 6-15 weeks he slept straight through 9-7ish, a bomb could have gone off in the room and he wouldn't wake up. I could handle mostly anything those days, once you're getting a good amount of sleep things seem easier. Now it's hit and miss with him sleep wise. Last night he was awake at least once every hour, I am shattered today and so is he and he still won't nap. People do need to be a bit more honest with how they're getting on,that is not all lollipops and rainbows, there were days at the start where I felt overwhelmed and out of my depth thank god for my mother and baby group I found out I wasn't the only one and everything I was feeling and going through was normal, but not really talked about indepth by a lot of parents.
What I do hate is scenarios like when our little one was sleeping through the nigh and we'd answer honestly when asked only to be told " oh wait until they start teething, you'll be in for it then, you know all about lack of sleep then" almost gleefully wishing a lack of sleep on us. Myself I'd tell new parents or parents to be (in my limited experience so far) that it is tough, but that you will get through it, you'll amaze yourself in what you can get done during a 20 minute nap time...:) that it is ok to feel crap at times, to look after yourself and make sure you do get some you time regularly, even getting out and going for a walk on your own.

pwurple

Moonbeam wrote: »

I find pregnancy a lot harder then child rearing so far.
I also could do with out child birth.

+1 to that. Those last few weeks of pregnancy are especially tough, I vividly remember the first week thinking, wow, this is way easier than being pregnant.

Congrats on new arrival Moonbeam, fun in your house I'd say at the moment!

lounakin

kippy wrote: »

Can you alternate the sleep with your partner?

Not really, we live in a very small apartment so when the baby cries you can hear from everywhere. But obviously when he's up with her I try to sleep and vice versa, just not working too well.

Squ

lounakin wrote: »

I agree that it's different for everybody. I find it very difficult. My baby is 8 months and she doesn't sleep. Everyday it gets harder and harder to function with lack of sleep, I do think it influences my parenting because most of the time I don't know what to do. Since she was born she has slept more than 3 hours at a time 3 or 4 times only, but I remember all of them because of the feeling of hope I got from a few hours of sleep! My mind was clear for the next few days!

My sister went through something similar. Turned out she was tip toeing around hoping for 30mins peace if the baby napped.

She was advised to stop being quiet around the baby. Hoovering, telly on all day, cleaning, talking at normal level etc..

The baby now only sleeps when knackered for 3 or 4 hrs at a time, still not great, but to her it was heaven!

littlemissfixit

Moonbeam wrote: »

I find pregnancy a lot harder then child rearing so far.
I also could do with out child birth.
My 3 are all January so 12 days old,almost 2 and just gone 4.
I find the 1st few weeks of breast feeding torture because well I do not find it easy and it hurts and it i nearly contant also I love my sleep and need it too.
My 1st girl got combined fed and slept through the night from 6 weeks my 2nd slept though the night from about 8/9 weeks. I class though the night a 7/8 hours with out them waking.
Currently I am back to being a zombie for a few weeks.

I found pregnancy so easy, and I dont know if anyone will believe this but since my last was really my last (or so is the decision at the moment) I will miss the fact that I will not give birth again...

But the point is that I think everyone will agree, everyone is different, every child is different, and every combination parent-child is different and so is their interraction. Some people have a tendancy to exagerate in everything in life, same will apply when they are talking about their experience of parenting. Some people are just honnest and tell it like it is when its hard, some people just prefer keeping it to themselves, and some people are just lucky b******s for whom it really is a breeze :P

My first slept through at round 6 months (an eternity to me, she was breastfed, the task couldnt be shared), but has barely ever woken up at night since, through teething and everything the tough cookie! She was an easy baby, I know this now that I've had the second who 8 months on still wakes up once or twice a night. My lovely little girl has also entered the terrible 2s, but although there are several screaming tantrums a day I find that if I am rested enough, I can sail through it all.
When I found it hard with my first, I still wasnt saying much about it, cause a friend's baby was still waking up nearly every night and staying awake for 2-3 hours at 16 months. The same baby who had colics for 3-4 months solid.
The support you have available to you also plays a big part. My partner and I have no family here, and moved city when s was only couple weeks old, knew nobody, there was no way for us to have any respite for several months. Oh how I wish my mother had been there, so I could have dumped the baby with her some nights!

A good moan can do the world of good though, and an exagerated one can be more entertaining. I'd never tell someone expecting, I dont think anything can prepare you until you have kids to the bad and all the great stuff too.