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Dating sites/Age....

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  • 07-01-2013 8:19pm
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 24


    Anyone know a dating site where you can choose to hide your age? Yeah I know - should not hide it.... but just turned a large one- hate having it out there for the world and his dog to see - Just want to tell it to those I choose to tell it to...


Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 4,264 ✭✭✭mood


    Tizzard wrote: »
    Anyone know a dating site where you can choose to hide your age? Yeah I know - should not hide it.... but just turned a large one- hate having it out there for the world and his dog to see - Just want to tell it to those I choose to tell it to...

    I don't.

    I think it's quite an odd this to want to do. With internet dating things like age, location etc are very important. Not having your age up would be like not having a photo up - seems very dodge and you will probably have little or no success.


  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Music Moderators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 22,360 CMod ✭✭✭✭Dravokivich


    A lot of people would filter by age ranges. It's the simplest way to at least pool a bunch of people who'd be in your peer group and is the second thing people would select on a search, after gender. You're really closing yourself out if you aren't as searchable.

    I've read of some sites which allow you to be unsearchable overall, but once you message someone, they are able to see your details.

    Keep in mind these are details you choose to provide so you can adjust your age any way you wish without any prior verification. Of all the things people can be uneasy about though, I'm surprised to see a little thing as age come into it.

    There's a social group here (http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/group.php?groupid=349) you can join and people might be able to advise of particular sites that'll match some of your needs.


  • Registered Users Posts: 12,385 ✭✭✭✭mariaalice


    Tizzard wrote: »
    Anyone know a dating site where you can choose to hide your age? Yeah I know - should not hide it.... but just turned a large one- hate having it out there for the world and his dog to see - Just want to tell it to those I choose to tell it to...

    I met my husband on a dating site, people not being honest about their age is a big turn off ( at least you are not lying about you age just trying to hide it )...I found if someone is lying or uneasy about their age on a dating site it was usual a big red warning flag about the kind of person they were. The truth will set you free :p whats the worst that can happen if you are honest.


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,264 ✭✭✭mood


    mariaalice wrote: »
    I met my husband on a dating site, people not being honest about their age is a big turn off ( at least you are not lying about you age just trying to hide it )...I found if someone is lying or uneasy about their age on a dating site it was usual a big red warning flag about the kind of person they were. The truth will set you free :p whats the worst that can happen if you are honest.

    Agree.

    Also you need a thick skin for internet dating. If you are that sensitive about your age maybe it's not for you.


  • Registered Users Posts: 18,150 ✭✭✭✭Malari


    Do you have to put your DOB on all sites though? Surely you can do a 25-30 or 35-40 range thing on some without having your exact age showing? I thought that's what the OP meant...


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  • Registered Users Posts: 4,264 ✭✭✭mood


    I think you have to put you age. I've only used one site so can't be 100% sure. But I would see it as being dishonest not putting age on it.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,775 ✭✭✭Death and Taxes


    Met my OH on a dating site 7 years ago, she lied about her age, I did,nt know for 5 months until she woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me.
    Thing is by then it didn't matter, as I told her " I think of you as you, and love you as you, not as a number of years".
    Had forgotten about it until I read this thread.


  • Registered Users Posts: 24 Tizzard


    Thank you all for your interest in my query. But no one has answered my question.

    Of course I understand that one should never try to hide ones age - but the fact is - although I am a very honest person - I have a thing about my age. A lot of women do.

    So if anyone knows a site whereby

    A - I can choose an age range

    or

    B - I can hide it and (as suggested above ) it is revealed once I start
    messaging someone

    Then that would be fabulous. Thank you in advance!


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,264 ✭✭✭mood


    Tizzard wrote: »
    Thank you all for your interest in my query. But no one has answered my question.

    Of course I understand that one should never try to hide ones age - but the fact is - although I am a very honest person - I have a thing about my age. A lot of women do.

    So if anyone knows a site whereby

    A - I can choose an age range

    or

    B - I can hide it and (as suggested above ) it is revealed once I start
    messaging someone

    Then that would be fabulous. Thank you in advance!

    I don't think anyone was come across a site like that or they may not have noticed the option to hide age or something. I would suggest looking at all the dating site and start to create a profile and see if that facility is there. You can always delete the account if it's not what you want.


  • Registered Users Posts: 24 Tizzard


    Thanks - I did think of that - but looks like you have to go past the part where you pay in order to discover that. So I'd have to shell out a lot of money in the course of my research...... I know there are free sites - but the ones I found do not offer either of these facilities.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 4,264 ✭✭✭mood


    Tizzard wrote: »
    Thanks - I did think of that - but looks like you have to go past the part where you pay in order to discover that. So I'd have to shell out a lot of money in the course of my research...... I know there are free sites - but the ones I found do not offer either of these facilities.

    Or you could email and phone the people who run the site i question to find out.


  • Registered Users Posts: 24 Tizzard


    Of course - but really there are so many of them - and I thought someone would know of at least one that meet my "criteira" off-hand.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,390 ✭✭✭The Big Red Button


    Or you could try accepting your age, embracing it, becoming comfortable with it.

    Would you go to meet up with a guy, without knowing whether he was 17, or 37, or 87?


  • Registered Users Posts: 11,465 ✭✭✭✭cantdecide


    You might as well just lie. If you are prepared to skip past all the popular sites and make a beeline for the one that will adapt to your state of mind, then you have to ask yourself how honest you're being with yourself.

    The only person this appears to be a deal breaker to is you. I won't trivialise the fact that you are finding this milestone a painful adjustment but if you can't focus on your positives and simply fixate on one detail you should really reconsider OD. Personally, I won't be doing it ever again because of how tough going the experience was for me. I certainly would never consider it if I were going through some personal issue like this. As above, you need to be thick skinned and there's always a huge amount of getting over yourself when it comes to OD.

    Personally, if it were possible to hide such a critical piece of information and I came across such a profile, I'd think the worst and skip it. It doesn't bode well for anyone who can't be forthcoming about such basic aspects of their life on the issue love and dating when honesty and trust are paramount.


  • Registered Users Posts: 24 Tizzard


    What is OD?
    Seems there is a lot of over-analysis my question here - rather than giving me an answer. Sorry if that sounds ungrateful!


  • Registered Users Posts: 11,465 ✭✭✭✭cantdecide


    Tizzard wrote: »
    What is OD?

    Sorry. Online Dating.
    Tizzard wrote: »
    Seems there is a lot of over-analysis my question here - rather than giving me an answer. Sorry if that sounds ungrateful!

    It's not a question of gratitude. With the greatest of respect, you asked a question that raises concerns. It would have been no less odd if the question were how to lie on your Online Dating profile. There are inherent problems which people are trying to convince you that you should face. Your "question" appears to be only a symptom of a greater problem in my opinion.

    I have nothing else to add, by the way. I'm sorry I can't direct you to an OD site that will allow you to do this and I don't feel it's appropriate to debate...


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,264 ✭✭✭mood


    Tizzard wrote: »
    What is OD?
    Seems there is a lot of over-analysis my question here - rather than giving me an answer. Sorry if that sounds ungrateful!

    I think if people could answer they would. I have never seem the facility as I have never looked for it. I would think others would be the same. You will have very little success with no age on a profile anyway IMO. When doing a search on a dating site you specify think like sex, location, age etc. You most likely wouldn't appear in any search. And what man would contact you without knowing your age anyway? :confused:


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