Good parenting or over-protective wench...

full_irish

An american 13-year-old got an iPhone5 for Christmas. Before he claimed his new iPhone, his mother, made him agree to a number of “rules and regulations” in a contract.


Terms of the contract

Dear Gregory
Merry Christmas! You are now the proud owner of an iPhone. Hot Damn! You are a good & responsible 13 year old boy and you deserve this gift. But with the acceptance of this present comes rules and regulations. Please read through the following contract. I hope that you understand it is my job to raise you into a well rounded, healthy young man that can function in the world and coexist with technology, not be ruled by it. Failure to comply with the following list will result in termination of your iPhone ownership.
I love you madly & look forward to sharing several million text messages with you in the days to come.
1. It is my phone. I bought it. I pay for it. I am loaning it to you. Aren’t I the greatest?
2. I will always know the password.
3. If it rings, answer it. It is a phone. Say hello, use your manners. Do not ever ignore a phone call if the screen reads “Mom” or “Dad”. Not ever.
4. Hand the phone to one of your parents promptly at 7:30pm every school night & every weekend night at 9:00pm. It will be shut off for the night and turned on again at 7:30am. If you would not make a call to someone’s land line, wherein their parents may answer first, then do not call or text. Listen to those instincts and respect other families like we would like to be respected.
5. It does not go to school with you. Have a conversation with the people you text in person. It’s a life skill. *Half days, field trips and after school activities will require special consideration.
6. If it falls into the toilet, smashes on the ground, or vanishes into thin air, you are responsible for the replacement costs or repairs. Mow a lawn, babysit, stash some birthday money. It will happen, you should be prepared.
7. Do not use this technology to lie, fool, or deceive another human being. Do not involve yourself in conversations that are hurtful to others. Be a good friend first or stay the hell out of the crossfire.
8. Do not text, email, or say anything through this device you would not say in person.
9. Do not text, email, or say anything to someone that you would not say out loud with their parents in the room. Censor yourself.
10. No porn. Search the web for information you would openly share with me. If you have a question about anything, ask a person – preferably me or your father.
11. Turn it off, silence it, put it away in public. Especially in a restaurant, at the movies, or while speaking with another human being. You are not a rude person; do not allow the iPhone to change that.
12. Do not send or receive pictures of your private parts or anyone else’s private parts. Don’t laugh. Someday you will be tempted to do this despite your high intelligence. It is risky and could ruin your teenage/college/adult life. It is always a bad idea. Cyberspace is vast and more powerful than you. And it is hard to make anything of this magnitude disappear – including a bad reputation.
13. Don’t take a zillion pictures and videos. There is no need to document everything. Live your experiences. They will be stored in your memory for eternity.
14. Leave your phone home sometimes and feel safe and secure in that decision. It is not alive or an extension of you. Learn to live without it. Be bigger and more powerful than FOMO – fear of missing out.
15. Download music that is new or classic or different than the millions of your peers that listen to the same exact stuff. Your generation has access to music like never before in history. Take advantage of that gift. Expand your horizons.
16. Play a game with words or puzzles or brain teasers every now and then.
17. Keep your eyes up. See the world happening around you. Stare out a window. Listen to the birds. Take a walk. Talk to a stranger. Wonder without googling.
18. You will mess up. I will take away your phone. We will sit down and talk about it. We will start over again. You & I, we are always learning. I am on your team. We are in this together.
It is my hope that you can agree to these terms. Most of the lessons listed here do not just apply to the iPhone, but to life. You are growing up in a fast and ever changing world. It is exciting and enticing. Keep it simple every chance you get. Trust your powerful mind and giant heart above any machine. I love you. I hope you enjoy your awesome new iPhone. Merry Christmas!
xoxoxo
Mom

Good parenting or over-protective wench... Discuss.

I'll go with the former.

starviewadams

Pretty bang on in fairness.

If only more parents could be arsed doing things like this.

Biggins

A good way to start out, setting ground rules.

The parents in their rules try to evoke their child to have an open and fair mind.
I see nothing wrong in the above really.

My name is URL

I bet she never thought that would end up on the internet /s

Valetta

Shouldn't have bought an iphone5 for a 13 year old.

Terrible parenting.

Owen_S

I assume he just said 'I agree' like everybody else does when they encounter a user agreement.

full_irish

starviewadams wrote: »

If only more parents could be arsed doing things like this.

12. Do not send or receive pictures of your private parts or anyone else’s private parts. Don’t laugh. Someday you will be tempted to do this despite your high intelligence. It is risky and could ruin your teenage/college/adult life. It is always a bad idea. Cyberspace is vast and more powerful than you. And it is hard to make anything of this magnitude disappear – including a bad reputation.

Why was I never taught this when I was younger!! :pac:

geeky

I'm in the 'good parent' camp. I might not go as far as she did, but think I'll follow her lead when the young fellah looks for one.

Biggins

full_irish wrote: »

12. Do not send or receive pictures of your private parts or anyone else’s private parts...
Why was I never taught this when I was younger!! :pac:

There was no mobile phones in the Stone Age?

Foxhound38

Proper order I think - if you're going to entrust something as powerful as this device (and we adults who grew up around this stuff often forget just how powerful things like smartphones can be, especially in the wrong hands) to a young teenager, ground rules need to be placed down to ensure he respects it. More parents should be arsed doing this - perhaps if they where, we wouldn't see as many problems with cyberbullying, internet predators, teenagers booming ****e ringtones out of their phones on the bus etc.

Where To

Reminds me of a Tammy Wynnette song.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JYE9qpa0GT0

Clarehobo

She is spot on with the rules: Number 4 is a great one. He is a kid - he needs guidance from his parents until he is old enough to make his own decisions...

El Guapo!

Seems kind of fair enough. But the parent tried to be too insightful and clever with the rules. They probably wanted it to end up online. Probably on Facebook fishing for likes.
They could have covered all those rules with 4 words when giving him the phone.........."Don't act the bollox"

full_irish

Biggins wrote: »

There was no mobile phones in the Stone Age?

I'm only 23, although with the equipment that I started my mobular telephonic journey with was definitely incapable of taking 'junk pictures'.

The best I could do was dial '5318008' on it and hold it upside down!

Pottler

Sounds great. Personally, I'd forget I bought the kid the phone after a week or two, let alone the fact I got a bit drunk and made up a big eulogy about all the rules of its use. I wonder would an Irish kid follow all that crap or does it just apply to Californian kids??

Biggins

Dean09 wrote: »

...They could have covered all those rules with 4 words when giving him the phone.........."Don't act the bollox"

They could - but then a smart kid might find a way around just those four words!

Nonoperational

Meh, in a few weeks she'll be sick of this contract and it'll be forgotten about...

Czarcasm

starviewadams wrote: »

Pretty bang on in fairness.

If only more parents could be arsed doing things like this.

Makes a great template. Printed out and saved. Nice find OP.

expelliarmus

'Talk to a stranger'

Aren't kids usually encouraged not to talk to strangers??

Biggins

Valetta wrote: »

Shouldn't have bought an iphone5 for a 13 year old.

Terrible parenting.

Thats nothing.

Brought my youngest child (age 3) to her cresh one day and saw a four tear old in it play with its iPad, showing it around and letting others have a go on it.

Mentioned it (and the cost of the item) to the person running the place. She was not up on the I.T. end of things - she had a near heart attack.
First chance she got, she removed the 'toy' from the child till the parents could collect both later.
(Had the item got dropped or broke alone in anyone's hands - who would be possibly claimed against!)

My name is URL

Czarcasm wrote: »

Makes a great template. Printed out and saved. Nice find OP.

It's probably copyrighted.. she's a professional writer.

Damn my cynical nature

Lisha

Am I the only one who read the contract to the tune of 'wear sunscreen'

Royal Legend

Biggins wrote: »

There was no mobile phones in the Stone Age?

there was no zoom out on mine

LiamMc

It is not a Contract under law as one of the parties is not showing any performance. It is only a List of Instructions.
Confidentiality doesn't appear to be part of the List of Instructions.

I have Bank Cards that remain the property of the Financial Institution, I don't value them as highly as other items I own fully and have far more control over.
The List of Instructions is about embarrassing the Receiver. In time the child should see that it is a poor value product.

Media-Whores embarrassing their own children to further their career.

Neeson

May as well have an old brick if he can hardly use the thing. Why pay so much for such a phone and then have it kept out of use for so long.

Does she really think her son hasn't seen a cun t before?

Biggins

POINT OF ORDER

Legally in a lot of modern countries (inc Ireland by the way), under-age children can't enter into legally binding contracts.

Sh1tbag OToole

Chroist almighty tis helicopter parenting at it's best I'd say. A last distch attempt to keep a child innocent (13 is when they're likely to go rogue if they havn't already). If I got a phone with such a long list of rules attached Id say 'No thx, I'll keep my Nokia 100'

Skill Magill

The kid could just buy a second hand smart phone on adverts for $20 circumnavigating these draconian measures.

MaxSteele

Only an american would go that far over a phone. What was the purpose of it for anyway ? Come next year he'll be off looking for the ride and having Tom Hanks over PornHub.

Naive parenting if she thinks she can enforce this for more than a year. Should have waited till he was 14/15 and let him off the leash.

darced

This post has been deleted.

Pottler

Biggins wrote: »

POINT OF ORDER

Legally in a lot of modern countries (inc Ireland by the way), under-age children can't enter into legally binding contracts.

Thanks Biggs, I was really worried about that one. Now I can sleep. Go You, ya wild thing.

Pat Mustard

That set of rules is making me regress to my teenage years. I call wench.

I'd be p1ssed, get in a big silent huff and tell her to keep it.

Custardpi

If she has to explicitly lay down a list of rules this detailed with the thing it probably means he's not mature enough for the phone yet. Wait a few more years until he knows & properly understands these rules without having to be told them. Until then get him a basic phone or none at all.

On another note I'm always a bit sceptical about these viral things & their authenticity. I'll be checking Snopes in the coming days to see if it's outed as a rewrite of something written decades ago ("Happy Birthday Samuel! You're now the proud owner of your very own telegraph machine!, etc...")

cml387

Custardpi wrote: »

On another note I'm always a bit sceptical about these viral things & their authenticity. I'll be checking Snopes in the coming days to see if it's outed as a rewrite of something written decades ago ("Happy Birthday Samuel! You're now the proud owner of your very own telegraph machine!, etc...")

Keep a lookout on Snopes because as sure as anything this is an invention.

hatrickpatrick

I have never read anything quite so hilariously moronic in my life.
Give it just 2 or 3 years and that kid is going to turn into a rebellious monster

Biggins

Pottler wrote: »

...Go You, ya wild thing.

Yeeee Haaaaa!

Meangadh

When I started reading it first i was thinking "God, stereotypical American B.S., going totally OTT, all smacks of Nanny 911 crap" but then I thought, you know what, fair play. Not enough parents take into account the power of the technology that is in their children's hands these days.

I'm usually the first to knock a lot of modern parenting stuff, in that I think parents try too hard now to be friends with their children and not disciplinarians. But in fairness, this has a nice combination of both- yeah it's a bit long-winded, but overall it's basically saying "I love you, I'm here for you, and I trust you to a point- but I'm not naive enough to think that a teenager isn't going to push boundaries, so these rules are here so that you know I'll kick your ass if you betray me". Fair enough I think.

T-K-O

Great advice for everyone

8. Do not text, email, or say anything through this device you would not say in person.
9. Do not text, email, or say anything to someone that you would not say out loud with their parents in the room.

Herb Powell

Most of her stuff makes sense, and is fairly on point, but as a whole it comes off as very condescending. Maybe that is just me being cynical, but as a 13 year-old I know I would have been stifling laughter reading this (if I even fuccking read it!). Especially about the music comment (WTF?).

The fact that this is all written out kind of says to me that she doesn't think her 13 year old son should really have the phone. Keep it brief, leave him off, and when he ****s up reprimand him and explain why.

However her heart/head is in the right place, can't fault her for that, and she is definitely making an effort.

Custardpi

T-K-O wrote: »

Great advice for everyone

8. Do not text, email, or say anything through this device you would not say in person.
9. Do not text, email, or say anything to someone that you would not say out loud with their parents in the room.

Can you imagine such rules were applied to Boards users? Twould be a pretty quiet place.

Miss Lockhart

I think it's good that she is attempting to establish some rules and precautions for the use of the phone but the cringeworthy self-applauding style of writing just makes her come across as an attention seeking idiot.

Meangadh

Miss Lockhart wrote: »

I think it's good that she is attempting to establish some rules and precautions for the use of the phone but the cringeworthy self-applauding style of writing just makes her come across as an attention seeking idiot.

Yeah I'd definitely re-phrase things if I was her- particularly for an Irish teenager. I like the general vibe of what she's trying to get across, but as I said, it's a bit long-winded and could be more to the point. And the bits about music and talking to strangers and all that is total waffle, not necessary. Overall a good set of rules though.

T-K-O

Custardpi wrote: »

Can you imagine such rules were applied to Boards users? Twould be a pretty quiet place.

No I can't

But people seem to think they can say and do what ever they want online without fear of any consequence

wexie

hmmmm.....

I guess we could argue about how it's written.

But if you ask me the spirit of the whole thing contains a lot of advice many 'grownups' I know would do well listening to.

matthew8

Sounds like a right bítch tbh. Doesn't seem to get the concept of the word gift.

Pottler

Mine would be a bit shorter, somwhere along the lines of "Here's a phone, don't sell it, and if you do, I want half".

Meangadh

wexie wrote: »

hmmmm.....

I guess we could argue about how it's written.

But if you ask me the spirit of the whole thing contains a lot of advice many 'grownups' I know would do well listening to.

+100000000

Whatever about how teenagers behave online, the crap some adults come out with sometimes makes me weep for humanity.

areyawell

I smell bull shi*t!

CuriousG

At that age, way more than fair. I wish more parents were like this, children need things like this, it's a dangerous world.

meoklmrk91

Maybe if Irish parents were half as consciencious regarding their kids and technology as this American mother then we wouldnt have 13 year old kids killing themselves because they are being bullied online.

As someone who is loves tech and has every gadget imaginable it drives me mad to see kids being handed phones, iPads, laptops etc with minimal parental involvement, the only thing that they are usually warned about is predators and after that they don't care about or want to know about their daughter dressing provocatively and taking pictures and posting them on Facebook or their son who is bullying people online, through text message or whatever. This mother is giving her kid a set of guidelines to follow, all good in my opinion, except for the music one, seems a little off, to keep him safe, to keep him in line. She is taking it seriously, and it should be, so good on her she sounds like a great parent who put a lot of thought into this which is what is needed.

SureYWouldntYa

She's the grinch. If you buy a present, thats what it is a present, not "my phone" as she calls it.