Guy In The Gym

brokenice

Hey all,

I need some thoughts on a situation, if you'd be so kind. It's regarding a trainer in my gym. He's not my usual trainer and I only used him once in the past when my usual trainer wasn't available. Anyway, since then, I've noticed that he always says hello to me, smiles and is generally friendly. Of course, I know it's part of his job to be courteous but this seems a little different. He is Polish and I remember there was a thread a while back discussing a similar situation is a shop. Some Eastern Europeans can have a very friendly exterior but it's not to be read into too deeply...but still...this seems different.

Let me explain what happened today. I was just starting off my strength training session with some lunges and he walks up to me and asks me how I'm getting on. So I had to take off my headphones and we had a little chat. We must've chatted for about 15 minutes. We discussed diet, training tips, carbs, the usual, but in the middle of it all he drops into the conversation that he's ripped. He also maintained very firm eye focus. He then asked me my name as he said he'd forgotten it and shook my hand. He then let me back to the training session.

Throughout the session, he seemed to be in my vicinity most of the time, helping others, tidying up, etc...Now this guy is very good looking so I have no problem with him being around me while I'm working a sweat!!! Anyway, as I was leaving the gym to head to the pool, he was there at the desk. He was interested in seeing my routine plan (I'm doing some hardcore specific training at the mo) He then advised me on some classes I should go to and told me about one's he coaches himself. So there was more chat with eye contact, smiles, some laughter (we even talked about how club music really helps work out motivation!) and I thought to myself, feck it, so while I was saying goodbye I gave him a cheeky wink.

So I guess I'm looking for some advice. What's the easiest way of determining if someone's gay besides asking them straight out?...Which is what I'll do if I have to because I'm a very direct person. But I don't want to embarrass him. I know I could drop it into the conversation next time we talk. Or maybe I could move the topic of conversation to social life outside the gym? Any advice welcomed boardies....and if you happen to be that guy in the gym and you're reading this....let's head out sometime for a whopper clubbing session!:pac:

bluestar2010

Look him up on facebook.

1ZRed

I don't think there's a very clear cut easy way of telling if somebody is gay but if you see and notice something yourself, that's enough I find that you can build on.

Why not keep going down your route of being more subtle and flirty/suggestive but in a laid back way. Let him think it out then and he'll react similarly or just pull away and you'll know. By the sounds of what you're saying there could be something of interest there anyway.

Couldn't hurt at all to try it out. You've feck all to lose, and a ride to gain.

I wouldn't dismiss it as just being friendly or factor in his nationality either, doesn't mean anything and isn't worth passing up an opportunity imo.

brokenice

bluestar2010 wrote: »

Look him up on facebook.

don't know his surname, i'm sure i can get it out of him some how!

ninty9er

brokenice wrote: »

don't know his surname, i'm sure i can get it out of him some how!

If it's similar to 2 of the 3 Polish guys I work with good luck finding him unless you can get him to write it down. Maybe he could "email you some recipes" for good dietary options.

And, here I come thundering in with a big downer, maybe he is gay, but has a boyfriend/partner.

anotherlostie

Does he offer a personal training service in the gym by any chance? In other words where you pay extra for him as a PT on top of what the gym provides to all clients. If he does, it is possible that he is touting for business and telling you about his ripped abs might be part of the plan. Sorry for being a cynic...

brokenice

all fair points, and i've weighed up the possibilities...let's just see how things pan out...my gut says there's something about him though...and my gut is usually never wrong!

wealthyman

Wow, cool the jets! You have only had the one encounter with him and you have already given him a wink?! Not cool. You need to suss him out more. He could well be trying to get you on board to do some PT with him in an effort to gain extra cash, the majority of polish people are like this, and don't give me the racism card as I'm just stating a fact.

stephen_n

If he makes any reference to his ripped body again, say I bet your girlfriend loves that and see his response.

ambrose21

wealthyman wrote: »

and don't give me the racism card as I'm just stating a fact.

The Polish are not a separate race, but a separate nation and while you may think it is a face, your anecdotal experience makes it no more a fact than an englishman saying "all irish are drunks I'm just stating a fact" is true.

Most gyms have strict rules about their staff fraternising with their customers, and it's easy to misunderstand friendliness for romantic interest. If you are unsure a good way to find out is to flirt back to him and guage his response. Flirting is a great way of separating the wheat from the chaff, and quite fun too;)

floggg

When talking to him starting talking about plans for the weekend etc and then drop into the conversation that you went to the George or something. Or tell him you went on a disaster of a date and the guy was a psycho. See how he reacts.

toexpress

floggg wrote: »

When talking to him starting talking about plans for the weekend etc and then drop into the conversation that you went to the George or something. Or tell him you went on a disaster of a date and the guy was a psycho. See how he reacts.

Alternatively lash it out on the basis of suck it and see ...

brownej

I'm not sure OP but it sounds like you could be reading too much into it.

As you've had 1 training session with him maybe he wants to poach you from your other trainer. The whole recommending classes that he teaches could just be about boosting the numbers at the class to make him look good.

If he told you he's ripped in the same conversation as giving you diet and exercise tips that could just be an advertisment for his services, in a "I'm ripped and if you train with me you could be too" kinda way.

I know from my own experience with my trainer, he's always flexing his biceps, asking me what I think about the size of his muscles, getting me to punch his rock hrad abs, he calls me brown bear etc etc..., but he is not flirting with me even though I could definitely read into it that he is if I wanted to. He knows I'm gay too and he still does it.
So he might only be flirting with you to get your business. Just be mindful of this.

brokenice

wealthyman wrote: »

Wow, cool the jets! You have only had the one encounter with him and you have already given him a wink?! Not cool. You need to suss him out more. He could well be trying to get you on board to do some PT with him in an effort to gain extra cash, the majority of polish people are like this, and don't give me the racism card as I'm just stating a fact.

It wasn't my only encounter and I wouldn't describe giving him a wink as 'not cool'. What's he going to do? Go home and tell his Mammy? Life's too short for beating around the bush. I live by the saying 'If you don't try, then you'll never know'. I don't waste time, too many people do that...anyway, I'll be going back today so if he's there, we'll continue our chat! I'll let y'all know how things go...cheers for the insight y'all!

toexpress

brokenice wrote: »

It wasn't my only encounter and I wouldn't describe giving him a wink as 'not cool'. What's he going to do? Go home and tell his Mammy? Life's too short for beating around the bush. I live by the saying 'If you don't try, then you'll never know'. I don't waste time, too many people do that...anyway, I'll be going back today so if he's there, we'll continue our chat! I'll let y'all know how things go...cheers for the insight y'all!

Offer him a manly soap up in the showers after a work out!!

A genuine word of caution here I copped off with someone from my gym earlier this year we met a few times had a bit of fun (he is bi and engaged) text him one night looking to meet he text me back saying "you only ever text me when you're horny" I text him back saying "well we don't get together to discuss European Fiscal Policy are fcukin or not bud?" ... I changed gyms a few weeks later :-(

brokenice

toexpress wrote: »

Offer him a manly soap up in the showers after a work out!!

A genuine word of caution here I copped off with someone from my gym earlier this year we met a few times had a bit of fun (he is bi and engaged) text him one night looking to meet he text me back saying "you only ever text me when you're horny" I text him back saying "well we don't get together to discuss European Fiscal Policy are fcukin or not bud?" ... I changed gyms a few weeks later :-(

love it!

Annasopra

toexpress wrote: »

Alternatively lash it out on the basis of suck it and see ...

Yeah... very mature response

Annasopra

toexpress wrote: »

Offer him a manly soap up in the showers after a work out!!

A genuine word of caution here I copped off with someone from my gym earlier this year we met a few times had a bit of fun (he is bi and engaged) text him one night looking to meet he text me back saying "you only ever text me when you're horny" I text him back saying "well we don't get together to discuss European Fiscal Policy are fcukin or not bud?" ... I changed gyms a few weeks later :-(

I'd change gyms if some weirdo that I don't know made presumptions about my sexual orientation, dropped his trousers to see if I would suck him off and then started coming onto me by saying - "do you want a soap up in the showers afterwards"

BuffyBot

Why does this come to mind? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-4tIs00NvM

Seriously, it's way to easy to read more into these scenarios then is actually there. Proceed with caution.

toexpress

mango salsa wrote: »

Yeah... very mature response

Yeah I was just trying to bring a bit of humor to the situation I did offer some genuine advice as well like apologies if it was a bit to glib

1ZRed

toexpress wrote: »

Yeah I was just trying to bring a bit of humor to the situation I did offer some genuine advice as well like apologies if it was a bit to glib

Ah here, you know you're not allowed a sense of humour under any circumstances around this place.

jaffacakesyum

OP, unfortunately you may be seeing something that's not there. I've done it myself and I've learnt that by pure statistics, the chances are he's not gay.

However, no harm in doing a bit of investigating! Next time you're chatting maybe mention going out at the weekend. For example if it's early on in the week say something like "yeah I really need the workout today after last weekend!" and he will probably say something like "oh yeah, did you head out?" and you can menion The George. That might get something out of him or you can judge his reaction!

brokenice

mango salsa wrote: »

I'd change gyms if some weirdo that I don't know made presumptions about my sexual orientation, dropped his trousers to see if I would suck him off and then started coming onto me by saying - "do you want a soap up in the showers afterwards"

Do you honestly think that would happen?...Chill, it's a joke! toxpress is only having some fun...and you always should express yourself....so you can respect yourself!!!

toexpress

brokenice wrote: »

Do you honestly think that would happen?...Chill, it's a joke! toxpress is only having some fun...and you always should express yourself....so you can respect yourself!!!

Was that like an OMG Madonna moment??

So did you score or not yet?? Is he a gayer??

brokenice

toexpress wrote: »

Was that like an OMG Madonna moment??

So did you score or not yet?? Is he a gayer??

well spotted, you must be a true aficionado! well he wasn't working yesterday, so hopefully i'll see him later...i'll keep you posted!

Hobbit101

Get an attractive female friend of yours to try and seduce him.

brokenice

Hobbit101 wrote: »

Get an attractive female friend of yours to try and seduce him.

yeah, i could invite him to a party because there's a really hot girl i think he would like...who happens to be a man....and me!:pac:

oisindoyle

brokenice wrote: »

yeah, i could invite him to a party because there's a really hot girl i think he would like...who happens to be a man....and me!:pac:

So tell us ,what gym are you in

brokenice

oisindoyle wrote: »

So tell us ,what gym are you in

i don't think it wise to divulge that info on boards

ongarboy

brokenice wrote: »

well spotted, you must be a true aficionado! well he wasn't working yesterday, so hopefully i'll see him later...i'll keep you posted!

At least you're getting fit and toned with all these visits to the gym so there is one positive outcome at least!

I would suggest the next time you are having a "friendly" chat with him, do a bit more gauging of the situation. Emphasize (via a white lie if needs be...so what!...) that you are doing extra work outs that week because of all the booze you consumed the last weekend at the Dragon/George etc and want to get rid of those unwanted calories. (I'm assuming you socialise in Dublin)

This could be a cue for him to ask how you got on in those places and allow you to steer the conversation further down the path you want. I know if I fancied someone but was too shy to make the first move, I think I'd at least latch on to something like that if they brought it up so as to bring it to the next level so maybe he may/could do the same? The mention of those bars/clubs may go over his head which may suggest he is not gay.

Bear in mind that he could be just as equally friendly/nice to you even if you didn't fancy him or he didn't fancy you. Sometimes, we colour our impressions in the hope there is a mutual attraction. I hope this works in your favour though - good luck!

oisindoyle

brokenice wrote: »

i don't think it wise to divulge that info on boards

Oh pm me then :-)

stephen_n

There seems to be a massive assumption that if he is gay he will automatically know of the George, despite not being Irish!

Annasopra

1ZRed wrote: »

Ah here, you know you're not allowed a sense of humour under any circumstances around this place.

All posts from me in this thread were my opinion as a poster not moderation. If it was moderation it would have been bolded.

apache

keep us informed of the exciting saga brokenice.
its only a bit of a laugh anyway. you're not gonna cry if he turns you down are you?

sense of humour bypass indeed :P

1ZRed

mango salsa wrote: »

All posts from me in this thread were my opinion as a poster not moderation. If it was moderation it would have been bolded.

Did I ever mention moderation? It's the general tone of the place that you can't even feck around and have a laugh even if the OP isn't all serious but light hearted in the post.

Personally I can't wait for the forum to be divided into gay personal issues and more general talk. At least then there's some hope of everything not being so serious, strictly on-topic and restricted.

oisindoyle

1ZRed wrote: »

Did I ever mention moderation? It's the general tone of the place that you can't even feck around and have a laugh even if the OP isn't all serious but light hearted in the post.

Personally I can't wait for the forum to be divided into gay personal issues and more general talk. At least then there's some hope of everything not being so serious, strictly on-topic and restricted.

Well said 1ZRed.
It is not the first time that someone has mentioned the lack of sense of humour amongst "some",we cant all be wrong

L.Jenkins

Mod Note: Guys, have some fun, but stick to the topic at hand. Thank you!

floggg

stephen_n wrote: »

There seems to be a massive assumption that if he is gay he will automatically know of the George, despite not being Irish!

If he's gay in Dublin he almost certainly knows this.

If 'm going away anywhere I tend to google gay bars there in advance, even if I have little intention of going.

I would be highly surprised if anybody but the most closeted and repressed of gay men in Dublin hadnt at least googled the place

stephen_n

floggg wrote: »

If he's gay in Dublin he almost certainly knows this.

If 'm going away anywhere I tend to google gay bars there in advance, even if I have little intention of going.

I would be highly surprised if anybody but the most closeted and repressed of gay men in Dublin hadnt at least googled the place

I was just thinking, more so because he's not Irish, the reference may not have the same resonence!

brokenice

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! He's straight. He mentioned the girlfriend today! Que teenage hearbreak mode Roger style!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fpXGFXXdjkU

1ZRed

brokenice wrote: »

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! He's straight. He mentioned the girlfriend today! Que teenage hearbreak mode Roger style!

Ah, it's not all over yet. Become mates, head out one of the nights, throw the shots his way and flip him

apache

Oh no brokenice. Don't cry. Keep the chin up
At least you had a bit of fun. Thats what lifes all about - ducking and diving and checking out opportunities. Well played detective.

toexpress

brokenice wrote: »

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! He's straight. He mentioned the girlfriend today! Que teenage hearbreak mode Roger style!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fpXGFXXdjkU

To every problem there is an answer ... alcohol get him drunk and see how straight he is

CdeC

brokenice wrote: »

Do you honestly think that would happen?...Chill, it's a joke! toxpress is only having some fun...and you always should express yourself....so you can respect yourself!!!

Oh Dear lord : (

stephen_n

CdeC wrote: »

Oh Dear lord : (

You love it CdeC I can picture you vougeing to the computer screen ;-)

Rick_

brokenice wrote: »

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! He's straight. He mentioned the girlfriend today! Que teenage hearbreak mode Roger style!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fpXGFXXdjkU

Funny, I was watching this episode of American Dad last night on 3E!

At least now you know. Move on, no point wasting time and emotions over something that's not meant to be.

brokenice

stephen_n wrote: »

You love it CdeC I can picture you vougeing to the computer screen ;-)

C'MON BOYS! DO YOU BELIEVE IN GAY POLISH TRAINERS? 'COS I'VE GOT SOMETHING TO SAY ABOUT IT!....AND IT GOES A LITTLE SOMETHING LIKE THIS!!!!.........Don't go for straight gym bunnies, put that Pole to the test, you know you know you've got to, make him dish out about the girlfriend, and then you know if you're wasting time......EXPRESS YOURSELF........OOH THERE AIN'T NO OTHER WAY, RIGHT TRACK BABY, I WAS BORN THIS WAY!!!:cool:

unusuality

You do lunges you say? Msg me

brokenice

He came up to me yesterday while working out, pats me on the back...I take off my headphones and we have a little chat...precious!

toexpress

brokenice wrote: »

He came up to me yesterday while working out, pats me on the back...I take off my headphones and we have a little chat...precious!

Maybe he is curious. ....

brokenice

maybe...it's gone from express yourself to this......

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=snsTmi9N9Gs

'I see you in the gym and you walk on by, you make me wanna hang my head down and cry!'