Women - what's your aim in life?

Eve_Dublin

Just saw this thread over TGC and thought it was an interesting one but probably impossible to pin down. Sure I'll give it a lash!

I suppose if I think about it, my own life aim would be to grow old (very old) but not invisible. I'd like to be one of those eccentric auld ones who dye their hair purple and wear lots of velvety, brightly-coloured, flowing clothing with a shed load of over-sized jewellery and broaches and not disappearing into the background like many middle-aged and elderly women tend to do (at least in the past).

I know my own granny always resented the life she had and was a definite eccentric underneath it all (artist, singer....psychic!) but had to bring up 7 kids on her own including a son with Down Syndrome as my grandad died young and she lost her identity completely. She'd no time for herself and I suppose in her time it was presumed that she would sleep, eat and breath motherhood. She warned my sister to never let the same thing happen to her. Take from that what you will.

I hope to still be opinionated and not be afraid to speak up and to keep my ideals and stick to my principles 'till my death bed. And I hope to always have a sense of humour and have the ability to have the craic and to never turn into a bitter auld wan who resents young people.

I'd like to write a book as well, even for myself....just to say I've done it. And I'd love to have my own business some day. A small coffee shop/bar somewhere hot.

I hope to keep on travelling and live in a few more countries before "settling down" finally.

I suppose I hope I'll always be true to myself. That would be my main aim in life if I'm honest. To not be dictated by what others expect of me.

Would be interested in hearing other's opinions.

fits

To make a difference. So I'll live on in people's memories.

Both professionally, and personally.

Professionally I'm lucky to work in a job which is very rewarding.

Personally I would love to have a small family sometime. My father died this year and it really brought home to me the importance of family. He is immortal because of his.

and I'd like to do all this while living in rural Ireland where I'm from with enough money to be comfortable. Not asking much eh?

KamiKazeKitten

Great idea OP.

I'm not entirely sure what I want yet, and sometimes that scares me and sometimes it doesn't. So I'm sticking with the short term goals for now I think. I'm very woolly on the longterm ones just yet, 's too early!

I'm in a course that I absolutely love, obviously want to finish it out and then? I don't know, I've picked an area with not many jobs ( ) but I think it's a really rewarding and tough as hell job to do, makes it a great challenge. I've always wanted to go travelling as well so will probably feck off out of the country for a few years, I'll send y'all a postcard. :P

I love kids as well but the idea of having them now scares the bejaysus out of me - give me ten years and the baby hormones will probably kick in, think I would like a few.

But in the long run...be happy, I guess? As cheesy as it sounds and all! We're only here for a very short while anyway and no matter what in time you will be forgotten, so may as well have as much fun as possible while you can.

Morag

"To crush my Enemies
see the driven before me
and hear the lamentations of thier women."

Hey I can aspire to be a Barbarian if I want to.

sam34

Eve, your post reminded me of this poem, which I first saw when working on a geriatric ward.


When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick flowers in other people's gardens
And learn to spit.

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
Or only bread and pickle for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.

But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.


Jenny Joseph

Princess Peach

I have pretty high goals regarding education and career, but really my aim in life is to be happy.

I've had a lot of mental health issues, depression, anxiety, eating disorders. I'd love to just be content in life. Not have to rely on pills to keep me on the ground everyday. Be able to look in the mirror and be ok, and to eat something without worrying. Be easy going about silly things that really weigh me down now, just be able to let things brush over me without caring.

Then I think the rest would sort itself out. I'm not worried about my career, because I know I'm smart and ambitious. And I already found the love of my life.

One thing I'd like is to be a mother, but aside from some health issues, I need to get my head straight before considering that really

Also I want the world's largest teapot collection!!!

Bubblefett

I want to have a house in the country, with a room for each of my kids (whenever I have them) and an animal sanctuary on site.
As for income to pay for this house, sanctuary and life style I'm still figuring that part out...

eviltwin

To be happy whatever that happens to involve. The only specific things I can think about are being able to pay off my mortgage and raising my kids to adulthood without them falling foul to any dangers.

jaffacakesyum

As sad as this sounds, my main aim in life is to find someone I love who loves me back and to share my life with them, grow old with them and have a family and just be happy.

Easier said than done :pac:

molly09

I too, like jaffacakesyum just want to meet someone who will love me. I just want to feel loved even if it was only for a hour. I would love to have children and live in a house in the crountry that I would own (with a partner).

fits

Isnt happiness a by product of your other aims and goals rather than an aim in itself though?

Everyone wants to be happy. But its very intangible what that is. Often you dont know til afterward.

pampootie

fits wrote: »

Isnt happiness a by product of your other aims and goals rather than an aim in itself though?

I think it is but for me, I sometimes need to remind myself that my ultimate goal is happiness when making life decisions. I can bring prone to making choices based on what I feel others might think or say rather than just asking myself what decision will make me happy.

I want a family with my boyfriend, a house near the sea, as many dogs as we can manage and a job where I don't work Sundays. Lately I've also started wanting to get really fit, I want to stay healthy and full of energy for as long as possible. I want to write a book, which I'm going to try and do this year. I think I'd be in my own personal heaven if on a sunday morning in 10 years I'm walking on a nearby beach with my own family and a pack of hounds

SusieBlue

I want to be content with however my life turns out, not to dwell on the bad times and to make the most of the good times. I want to be able to look back in 60 years and say "Yeah, I dealt with that as best I could".

I think that the things I want are simple things that many other men and women aspire to having. I don't want to be famous, or rich, or hugely successful.

I want to get a good degree. I want to get a job in my chosen field that won't take up all my time but will pay well. I want to marry my boyfriend and have more kids and live in the countryside. I want to travel, and learn new things, and live comfortably. I don't think its a lot to ask for, really.

If I'm as happy as my mother is now when I'm her age I'll be doing well.

I want:

- To have a steady job with which I don't have to worry much about affording food or shelter.
- To have people in my life that love me.
- To not outlive the people that I love.
- For my boobs to defy gravity to the last.

The Big Red Button

A lot of people have mentioned falling in love being their big aim - I've been lucky enough to have already been in more than one really happy healthy loving relationship in my life. I'm very happily loved-up right now, and don't think that's going to change anytime soon - but I don't feel that the relationship fulfils something I'd be missing out on otherwise; I'm pretty certain I also could be perfectly happy if I were single for the rest of my life!

Starting a family isn't a massive priority for me either. I'd quite like to have a couple of kids, but right now I wouldn't be too bothered if I knew it was never going to happen for me. That may change as I get alder (I'm 27 now.)

I have good qualifications, I have a job I love, and I have a fair idea of where I want my career to go in the next few years. However, these are really only short-term plans and goals in the grand scheme of things. At the end of the day, I always want to be working to live, rather than the other way round.

I don't know, I wouldn't like to have any big massive aims in life - because what do you do, then, when you've achieved it? What more is there to look forward to? And what if the "big" aims don't happen for you, for whatever reason ... where do you go for there, how would you handle the massive disappointment?

I prefer taking life by the hour, by the day, by the week. Small little manageable chunks. I like to enjoy and take pride in the small successes as they happen. And leaving plenty of flexibility with regard to my future plans.

You know, I actually quite like being aimless!

Sparklygirl

My aim in life is to be happy. I used to have aims like meet a man, get a good job etc etc but in the last few years I aim to be happy.

I have been fortunate. I was rared in a loving family. My folks are in good health. I have a good qualification nd job. I have married a man whom I am crazy about, I enjoy everyday with him. We are blessed with two children. We have negative equity. My baby was seriously ill recently and he survived. My husband is fighting cancer. Life has its ups and downs but I am happy!

Da Shins Kelly

I'm not entirely sure yet about long-term goals, but in the foreseeable future anyway:
- I want to get my head and moods in order and somehow pull myself together so I can push on with studies and hopefully get to the end of this course with a good result and improve my Spanish along the way.
- I want improve my writing too and hopefully get something published.
- I would like to study and live in the UK at some point in the near future.
- Visit my family in California again.
- Bring my mother to Paris for a much-needed holiday.
- Get another couple of tattoos.
- See Morrissey live before he calls it quits.
- Drink a lot of gin along the way.

McChubbin

My aim is to slay the 3 headed Hydra that is being broke, having crippling writer's block and being ruled my my mental health.
My long term goal is to be medication free in the next two years, hopefully by utilizing some form of cognative behavioral therapy instead of these accursed purple pills.
I'd like to write a short novel and earn enough in royalties to buy my own wee bungalow close to my parent's house.
I'd like a high paying, interesting and rewarding job with a boss who is sympathetic to my mental problems, earning enough money for regular interesting and fufling foreign holidays.

And finally, I want to marry Tom Hiddleston and give birth to his curl haired angel-child.

beks101

I just want to get the most out of every day that I possibly can. Laugh, cry and love a lot.

And I'd like to be at peace with myself.

The rest is all small change really.

star_light

To meet the love of my life and become a mother someday

southsiderosie

My main aim in life - really my main operating principle - is to not have regrets. This doesn't always mean taking the road less travelled, but it does mean that I have made some unconventional decisions, or perhaps made decisions based on emotion rather than some rational calculation, but by and large it has served me well. At the end of the day, you will never make everyone happy, so you may as well be sure that you are.

qualify
be rich
see the world
become a great singer and do some opera sometime
publish a book or short stories or something

Das Kitty

My aim in life is to live it in a way that makes me happy. Whatever that happens to be, because the things that have made me happy thus far have changed over the years and I'm sure they will again.

I suppose I would really like to be able to keep my creativity active throughout my life, to make art out of all the good and bad things, the love and the fears.

meeeeh

house in the country - check
child(ren) - check
partner that I love - check
dog - check

It seems I have exactly what some people here wish to have. That was never on my wish list, neither was living in Ireland (but I do like it). However there are always challenges and the things listed above can become a nightmare if you don't approach your wishes and aims with a bit of realism. I actually don't think the aims should be overly specific, they should be whatever feels right at any given moment. Wanting to have kids is great but they shouldn't be the only thing you want, because something can go wrong and you won't have them. The same goes for partner, career, dog or the house etc. Somebody said that "life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans" and they were right. Sometimes is ok to just try to be happy without the list that needs to be ticked of.

My aim: become a millionaire and travel the world. But if that doesn't happen I'd just like it to be an enjoyable ride.

eviltwin

Das Kitty wrote: »

My aim in life is to live it in a way that makes me happy. Whatever that happens to be, because the things that have made me happy thus far have changed over the years and I'm sure they will again.

This is how I feel. When I was younger I had an idea of what I needed to do to be happy. One of those was the job I was in at the time and I was broken hearted when I was made redundant. I'm now doing something that I never would have thought I'd end up doing and am happier than ever so I'm now very open minded about what the path to happiness is.

Jenneke87

To live abroad at least one more time
To get a degree, by now I don't care in what as long as I've got something to show for.
Travel
Learn to play two more instruments
Learn another languag
Have a stellar career

Daisy78

To be able to live in the moment. Not be bitter about the past or worry about the future. My goals and aspirations for the most part have been fulfilled some years later than I had hoped for. Yet when I do get around to acheiving them all I can do is think of the gaps in my life that I can't fill. For example I have had the opportunity to travel a lot in recent years which I didn't think I could ever do a few years ago. But know all I can dwell on is my muddled career path to date and my long term single status. I'm never at a stage where I'm really one hundred per cent content. So if I could change that well I guess it would be a good start. I guess life isn't the straight path you expect it to be and you gotta learn how to roll with the.punches.

dory

I don't really do long term. So before I'm 30 (2.5 years) I want to:

Speak 5 languages fluently (almost there).
Write a book (Chapter one is done!)
Live abroad again, but this may happen after 30
Finally feel my house is 'done'.
Make my garden look like one of those TV ones (this may never happen....)
Visit at least 10 new countries.

After that, who knows!

shalalala

My main aim in life is to have a family and be happy. I am an only child and I have no father. I would love to have a family and home of my own with the person I love.

On top of that I would like to travel more. I have loved it and I miss it so so much.

I would also like a job that would make me comfortable money-wise, but I know my career won't be the thing that will make me happy in the long run.

FizzleSticks

This post has been deleted.

Whatsernamex33

To become a journalist. No matter how many years it takes. Been the job I wanted for years.
Become fluent in a few languages.
To be able to play guitar and violin at a super high standard. I'm suckish atm. xD
Fall in love a few times. <3

After that I'm not too sure. I don't want to get married, children or anything. Well, actually haven't really thought about it. I want a great career and big salary more.

Stheno

I think I'd like to be content, to look back on what I've done, and be happy with it, what I've achieved, the people I value, and to generally just have few regrets.

I'm happy pretty much with my life now, I've a job I enjoy and feel respected in, a partner whom I adore and a good relationship with my family.

joysabroad

dory wrote: »

I don't really do long term. So before I'm 30 (2.5 years) I want to:

Speak 5 languages fluently (almost there).
Write a book (Chapter one is done!)
Live abroad again, but this may happen after 30
Finally feel my house is 'done'.
Make my garden look like one of those TV ones (this may never happen....)
Visit at least 10 new countries.

After that, who knows!

Good ones!!!

joysabroad

My goals have really changed since I turned 30. Before 30 I was all about my career. I also thought love but no, I was deeply buried in my career. When I realized I wasn't fulfilled by my career I thought long and hard about what I wanted from life. I decided to move to China to teach English. Though it's been really tough it was the best decision.

Current goals:
-Live in the moment - appreciate the NOW.
-Learn Chinese
-Allow myself to be happy (especially without a man)
-Write more
-Learn as much as I can about people and other cultures
-Do things that I enjoy

joysabroad

Do it! It's nice to be a wanderer and still have a goal to keep you moving forward that would probably stop the wandering lifestyle. :-) I also think a coffee shop business would be amazing. I love to spend time in coffee shops - why not open one? You can do it!

Twee.

Work hard at a job I enjoy.
Be able to live comfortably.
Be proud of myself.
Fall in love and get married.
Have a family.

Eve_Dublin

joysabroad wrote: »

Do it! It's nice to be a wanderer and still have a goal to keep you moving forward that would probably stop the wandering lifestyle. :-) I also think a coffee shop business would be amazing. I love to spend time in coffee shops - why not open one? You can do it!

Is this for me? Thank you! I plan to some day when I get the $$$ to fund it. Will hopefully get myself sorted with a steady career in the next 3-4 years and then I'll get saving.

daenerysstormborn3

I don't really have an aim other than to just remain as happy as I am with my life now. Obviously there are things I'd like to change and that will happen but I never stop being happy with my life so my aim is to remain this way.

Ah_Yeah

I can't figure out what my long term goals are as I feel I'm too young to think about them. My aim in life would be the type of person I would become, not the type of life I led. I think the type of person I evolve into as I am growing into a young woman will be indicative of the type of life I lead.

Honestly, my aim in life is to be even a fraction of the person my mother is - kind, caring, compassionate, selfless, and the strongest woman I know. She always has a smile on her face, had the courage to leave a volatile household in London at 22 with a 3 year old child, and move back to Ireland. She raised me alone, worked 2 jobs, did night courses, and got herself to a really high paying job because of her determination.

The friendships she has are lifelong ones because she nurtures them, and she is so generous, she would rather spend her last tenner on someone else than herself if she thought it would make them happy.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, I want to be that person. Determined, hard working, knows the value of money and doesn't squander it foolishly, and nurtures relationships.

After that, everything will fall into place.

Oh, and I really want ponies. No lie. I'd love lots of land for horses

Cerulean Chicken

Stheno wrote: »

I think I'd like to be content, to look back on what I've done, and be happy with it, what I've achieved, the people I value, and to generally just have few regrets.

I'm happy pretty much with my life now, I've a job I enjoy and feel respected in, a partner whom I adore and a good relationship with my family.

This is pretty much mine, just to be happy

Narsil

Coming up to 30 now and definitely know what I want from my life. Freedom is the most important thing to me.

I'm lucky in that I have already found the 'one' and we are together nearly 7 years and engaged. It's scary how alike we are, especially on the important things. I have never wanted to have children so I'm looking forward to:

- Having the freedom to do what I want when I want
- A life of travelling to as many places on our list as possible
- Hopefully having enough disposable income to live comfortably and perhaps retire early
- Having lots of animals!
- Maybe getting married at some point, maybe not!
- Learn the piano
- Be happy

CathyMoran

I am married to the man of my dreams and have two wonderful children that I have wanted all of my life - I would like to be a good parent, for my children to be healthy and would love to grow old with my husband (we both have very poor health). I was very ill a few years ago so I know what I want - even being alive and having my childrenand husband is amazing.

Contessa Raven

I want to see more of the world. Have travelled and seen a fairly large chunk of Europe and now I want to go and see Africa, Asia and South America. Need lotsa monies though.

I'd love to learn Japanese and live in Japan for a couple of years.

I would LOVE if my brain did enough work for me to get a book published. I have lots of ideas and stories to tell and yet when I sit in front of the blank screen/page my brain just crashes. I need a serious dose of inspiration and perseverance.

I want to get married and have a large family. :pac:

I would love to find a career that gives me great joy as well as a nice wage.

I want to learn how to play my guitar properly. And perhaps the piano. And maybe the violin.

I also want to learn how to speak German.

Better get crackin' on these! It's gonna take AAAAAAAGES! :eek:

baby and crumble

I have an overall aim to be able to die knowing I was the best person I could be. I want to know I didn't compromise on my morals or ethics for personal gain. I want to be able to look back and be proud of the life I lived.

It's funny, I'm coming up to a bit of a choice in the near future that could take me down a specific path, and I wanted to really try and figure out what was important to me. So I sat down with a pen and paper and wrote out what I feel I need to be happy in life.

- Make life better for people; not necessarily people I even know.

- Have enough money as a couple to be able to have a nice house, a couple of kids, one family holiday (probably camping) each year and maybe a weekend away with the missus every now and again.

- have a dog. This is crucial. I will know I am settled when I feel comfortable to commit to a dog. For some reason committing to dog ownership feel bigger than kids. You can move country with kids. Not so with dogs, really.

- Own my own social enterprise business. I have an idea, I just need to finalise it.

- Be able to be a stay at home Mum, and indeed to be as good a Mum to my children as mine was for my brothers and I.

NeonCookies

Luckily I have a great partner. We're both quite young, but we have similar ideas on what we want from life which is great - hopefully build a house, have a few kids, live comfortably, generally be happy

Career wise I want to be an Educational Psychologist which is a really long career path. With the current situation, it's looking like a few years of volunteer work are ahead of me before I get on to the course which leads to my current, biggest aim - to be independent.

I'm teaching abroad at the moment so I'm pretty much independent now, although my back-up fund does consist of money my parents gave me as a gift before I left along with a few hundred of my own money I haven't gone through yet. When I go home, I'll be living in the family home again and as much as I miss them, I'm dreading losing this independence (this is my first time living away from home) So, as tough as it will be because of the lack of paid work in my area my aim is to live independently in Ireland within the next 2 years.

Daisies

baby and crumble wrote: »

I want to be able to look back and be proud of the life I lived.

I think for me this is what it really boils down to. I want to be proud of what I have done and the person that I am. I want to look back on my life and have little/no regrets.

-Work wise: I want to continue to be challenged by my work, I want to feel like I am using my brain and constantly improving myself. I took a leap 3 months ago and moved to Africa for a job, something that 6 months ago I hadn't even considered. But, I'm loving it, I feel like I'm finally enjoying my career and it's renewing my faith in my work.

-Life: like most people have said, I want to be happy. How I will achieve that I am unsure of. All I know is at this moment, I am happy. I like my job, I have a good group of friends, I have just started a relationship that makes me smile all the time. Will this make me happy forever? Who knows but at the moment I am smiling.

ash23

All I want is that when I am on my deathbed, that I am surrounded by people who genuinely love me but who I amn't worried about leaving because I know they'll be ok.


So I guess I want a husband, more kids, to stay as close to my family as I am now, good friends and to be at a place in my life where they are all going to be ok without me. I don't want to be a tragedy or a massive loss that people would struggle to recover from. I want to live a long, contented and happy life with the people I love and who love me back.

Fiona

My aim in life is just to be happy, and to maybe be able to walk in high heels someday.

syjg18

I want to have a stable job. I want to help my parents. I want to live my life to the fullest.