Irish Etiquette

IvySlayer

No matter what the situation is, offer them a cup of tea.

WoollyRedHat

The term Knacker drinking is the Irish solution to not being of the legal drinking age, which usually involves teenages drinking outside on a freezing night with the cheapest beer they could find. Dutch Gold/ Devils Bit is a teenage passage of writ.

In order to buy said drink, if a person is not lucky enough to have an older and sounder brother or sister, then the youth must resort to go fishing, to get their drink. They do not in fact actually go out fishing, instead sending someone to wait outside an off licence and getsomeone who is over 18 and sound to buy drink for them.

dttq

A guide to Irish etiquette, of course it just had to have a reference to boiled potatoes, peppered with references to alcohol.

mikemac1

Majors for young lads wanting the highest strength and old grannies who bought them for decades

Nothing wrong with John Players but if you ask for Johnny Blue you are a skanger

Benson and Hedges for working people

Silk Cut for the wimmins

Marlboro Lights for everyone

Rollies for the sophisticated smokers who know good tobacco and also for poor students who can't afford anything else

Armin_Tamzarian

"Ah, there was worse than us there."
- We were obnoxiously drunk but someone managed to take the attention off us by being even drunker and more obnoxious than us.

"Some yoke".
-You car is nice.

"He'd be fairly tight."
-He's a hard bastard.

"I went in for the cure."
-I'm at best a borderline alcoholic who hit the pub at 1130 to stave off a hangover.

smash

Since this thread made it to the journal website and quoted some of us... Where's our royalties?

suicide_circus

Them kunts at thejournal.ie are gas lads. Kunt being a term of endearment in Ireland.

gobnaitolunacy

dttq wrote: »

A guide to Irish etiquette, of course it just had to have a reference to boiled potatoes, peppered with references to alcohol.

What did you expect? References to skinny lattes or ciabattas?

IncognitoMan

WoollyRedHat wrote: »

After Christmas dinner, the left overs constitute the staple of an Irish persons diet for at least a week " Sure that turkey will do you for your sandwiches for tomorrow" . This probably explains the serving of turkey as a yearly event, as everyone is sick to their stomach after enduring a whole week of dry turkey sandwiches.

Easily my favorite part of Christmas. I fecking love those turkey sandwiches

Boombastic

Perfectly acceptable to drive in the 'fast' lane of the motorway at 60km/h, with a line of cars having to break behind you, sure can't they pass you on the 'slow' lane if they're in that much of a hurry


Also acceptable if you own a BMW/Volvo/merc to just pull straight out of a cross roads in front of traffic or if the person in front is going too slow to drive right behind them leaving no breaking room


Never mind the signs on the motorway that say 'no vehicles under 50cc', just drive in the lay-by

pickarooney

suicide_circus wrote: »

If someone offers you a 'mineral' do not expect to receive any kind of geological deposit.

Would you like some fizzy drinks, Hank?

ViveLaVie

ViveLaVie wrote: »

The appropriate response to ''You'll have a cup?'' is either ''Gasping!'' or ''I'd love a cup''.

"feck off, cup"

Mr Grumpy

If you're going to the shops will ya get me a sliced pan, some red lemonade, brown sauce, scallions and curly kane for the dinner?

Loan us 20 euro will ya - the young one next door will be round in her communion dress in a bit.

Ah sure he's an awful b*llix altogether = That gentleman is a bit of a scoundrel.

Sit down Pat you're on the minerals - I'll get the round in. Are ya sure you won't have a drink?

No self respecting Irishman would put his car in his garage - that's for the lawnmower, bits of wood and the recycling.

Hot press = Airing cupboard

Feck off = I'm serious

Fcuk off = I'm only messing

stoneill

baldbear wrote: »

"what did your parents die from?" ".

He died of a Tuesday

mikemac1

You don't say excuse me

Instead you say sorry to everyone

Trying to get off the bus and some 20 stone blob blocking the corridor?

You apologize to them!

Waiter ignoring you and giving you bad service?
Say sorry to get his attention


Be a good Irish person and never ever complain.
Instead blast the place afterwards to anyone who will listen

DenMan

Asking someone a question and then immediately answering it for them. 9 times out of ten it's always a no. eg "Do you want to watch that programme on tv tonight?" "No!" It really annoys me!

Paully D

If you're with a friend and a nice looking girl walks past, you absolutely must look back at her and then turn to your friend and both say "would" or similar at the same time.

Mogwa89

How about these....Gowlin' Galavantin' or Caflin (I presume this one is about acting like a calf?)....All favorites of my mother " Stop yer gowlin' or I'll get the wooden spoon!!"

"You wouldn't be well when you're sick".....G'way!?

Mr.McLovin

great thread I stumbled across, good few laughs here

could squeeze a few more laughs out of it too i'm sure

John Farmer

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/81222831#Comment_81222831

I always turn my wellies down in warm weather, makes more sense !!