Zapp Brannigan

banquo

The alien mothership is in orbit here. If we can hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate.

http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Futurama

The King of Moo

Discuss.

My name is URL

She's built like a Steakhouse but she handles like a Bistro

banquo

Zapp Brannigan: The key to victory is discipline, and that means a well made bed. You will practice until you can make your bed in your sleep.
Fry: You mean while I'm sleeping in it?
Zapp Brannigan: You won't have time for sleeping, soldier, not with all the bed making you'll be doing.

cantdecide

My name is URL wrote: »

She's built like a Steakhouse but she handles like a Bistro

LOL I was just about to write that!

Glico Man

Brannigan's Law is like Brannigan's love, hard and fast.

keithb93

If I said you had a beautiful body would you take your pants off and dance around a little?

120_Minutes

"once again, we meet at last"

"fry, the way to a womans heart is through her parents, sleep with them and you're in"

"kif, take us down to that uncharted planet" "...its not uncharted sir, YOU LOST THE CHART!"

Borat_Sagdiyev

http://cheezburger.com/6574603264?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+DatingFails+%28Dating+Fails+-+Missed+Connections%2C+Breakups%2C+%26+The+Search+For+True+Love%29

My name is URL

Men, you're lucky men. Soon, you'll all be fighting for your planet.
Many of you will be dying for your planet.
A few of you will be put through a fine mesh screen for your planet. They will be the luckiest of all.

Julez

*Reading all these in his voice in my head*

120_Minutes

"captains log, stardate....ehhhhhhhhhh"

mackg

In the game of chess, you can never let your adversary see your pieces.

folan

you win again, gravity!

My name is URL

One day, a man has everything. Then the next day, he blows up a billion dollar space station. And then the next day, he has nothing.
Makes you think, huh, Kif?

Wise Old Elf

I find the most erotic part of a woman to be the boobies.

Riamfada

Blow in Branigan fans. Look at the avatar and weep

RobbingBandit

Smells like a jockstrap.

jimmyneo1

"My instinct is to hide in this barrel, like the wily fish."

Benny_Cake

"What makes a good man go neutral? Lust for gold? Power? Or were you just born with a heart full of neutrality?"

"We don't know anything about their race, history, or culture, but one thing's for sure. They stand for everything we stand against."

"The quickest way to a girl's bed is through her parents. Have sex with them and you're in."

spitfireIRL

i come swinging the olive branch of peace!

J. Marston

Shampaggin?

RobbingBandit

Zapp: Kif, old friend, I don't know which disgusts me more: Your cowardice or your stupidity! We'll simply set a new course for that empty region over there. Near that black-ish hole-ish thing.

EDDIE WATERS

You'll be negotiating with the balls mysterious leaders, the Brain Balls. They've got a lot of brains, and they've got a lot of chutzpah...

A valid question! We know nothing about them, their language, their history or what they look like. But we can assume this. They stand for everything we don't stand for. Also they told me you guys look like dorks.
Bender: They look like dorks!

stoppress

Well I am out off touch all together here... non the less fair play to the OP and the other posters. Zapp by the way just aint my bag.

nyarlothothep

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QX_4Q6WfZNY

And this one

"That young man fills me with hope. Plus some other emotions which are weird and deeply confusing"

Jimoslimos

Ah Futurama, the show The Simpsons could have been!

donvito99

As you know, the key to victory is the element of surprise. Surprise!
I]pushes button, bay doors open under soldiers[/I


Zapp brannigan is my hero

Quatermain

"I am the man with no name...Zapp Brannigan."

Anyone who has ever played X-Com can deeply appreciate the Zapp Brannigan approach to warfare.

For Forks Sake

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zQgZOfxnXnY

chopperbyrne

"Came crawling back to the Zapper eh!"

"Leela, L-E-E-L-A, LEEEEEELAAAAAAAAAA!"

Jonah42

Lrrr: Surely you know McNeal. She is an unmarried human female struggling to succeed in a human male's world.

Zapp: Maybe that's just her excuse for being incompetent.

Jonah42

We fight this battle not for ourselves, but for our children, and our children's children, which is why I'm forming a children's brigade.

stimpson

How did I defeat the killbots? Simple, I sent wave after wave of my own men knowing full well that eventually the killbots would reach there kill limit and shut down.

derfderf

Zapp: and have the boy lay out my formal shorts.
Kif: the boy sir?
Zapp: You. You lay out my shorts.

derfderf

120_Minutes wrote: »

"captains log, stardate....ehhhhhhhhhh"

"ugh, march 12th"
"yes, march 12th....point two"

tvnutz

Good old Zapp, his greatest achievement was when he defeated the Pacifists of the Gandhi Nebula.

Funglegunk

tvnutz wrote: »

Good old Zapp, his greatest achievement was when he defeated the Pacifists of the Gandhi Nebula.

And the Retiree people of the Assisted Living Nebula.

Dalken

Leela: You know, this might actually work. The Omicronians seem to have trouble telling one person from another.
Zapp: True. At the negotiations, they thought Kif here was the statesman and I was a jabbering mental patient.

suicide_circus

Zapp Brannigan: Now, like all great plans, my strategy is so simple an idiot could have devised it. On my command all ships will line up and file directly into the alien death cannons, clogging them with wreckage.

1ZRed

Leela: You know, Zapp, someone ought to teach you a lesson.

Zapp: If it's a lesson in love, watch out. I suffer from a very sexy learning disability. What did I call it, Kiff?

Kif: Ugh... sexlexia

marcbrophy

I have made it with a woman!

I always thought he said 'mated with a woman'! :pac:

noodler

"So it's mutiny, is it? I never thought I'd see the day".

"Come Kiff, I found a children's Spacesuit you can wear"

*Neutral Planet"

"If I don't make it, tell me wife hello"

Plazaman

Your hand while strong and masculine is soft as a velvet child.

She's a beautiful ship alright. Shapely. Seductive. I'm gonna Fly Her Brains Out

bonerjams03

Ah, yes. Comets, the icebergs of the sky

say_who_now?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qWdGYtqbbHI

"You look like a woman who appreciates the finer things in life. Come over here and feel my velour bedspread."

Quatermain

"But we're defenceless! Like fish in a barrel!"
"What would you suggest?"
"Hide in this barrel...like the wily fish!"

Witcher

'Here lies the greatest soldier I've seen since my mirror got grease on it'

Zapp and Kif turn up at Planet Express after leaving the DOOP;

Professor: Leela, who are you talking to?
Zapp: Just a broken-down hobo who's hit rock-bottom. And his commanding officer

a fat guy

Leela: You know Zapp, once I thought you were a big pompous buffoon. Then I realised that inside, you were just a pitiful child. But now I realise that outside that child is a big pompous buffoon!

Captain Zapp Brannigan: And which one rocked your world?

IvySlayer

Leela: Lift off.
Zapp: I'll roger that.

The Master of Disaster

"Will those cowards stop getting blown to bits out there!"

stimpson wrote: »

How did I defeat the killbots? Simple, I sent wave after wave of my own men knowing full well that eventually the killbots would reach there kill limit and shut down.

"Whatever your cause we're willing to send in wave after wave of men, right men?!"