Funny things that have happened you abroad

RATM

A few years back I was going out with a girl from London. Bit of a long distance relationship thing, we'd see each other every two or three weeks. After lots of trips to London and her coming here a good bit we got tired of that and instead took advantage of Ryanairs cheapies to meet in a new city every time. But this one time we were booked to meet up in Barcelona for the weekend but at the last minute she cancelled the whole thing. She worked as a camerawoman for Sky News and the Pope was dying and she got called to work at short notice to go out to Rome. I was a bit pissed off as she was a freelancer and didn't have to go into work. But she loved the thrill of covering news events that would go down in world history and even though not religious herself she wanted to go as she had missed out on covering the French riots a bit before and was annoyed she didn't go. But she was feeling guilty nonetheless.

So a couple of days later she had a word with her boss who gave her the okay for me to go out to Rome and stay with her in their hotel free of charge. I said feck it and took the rest of the week off work and went and enjoyed the comforts of a 5 star hotel and the delights of the mini bar, all courteous of Sky News and Rupert Murdoch (Thanks Rupes, I owe you one:p)

Anyway the Pope died and the news story turned into speculation on who would replace him. The hotel we were staying in hosted all the worlds media, apart from the Sky crew CNN, BBC, CBS, etc were all there so in the evenings in the bar I got to know a good few journalists and inevitably the conversation would come around to speculation on who the next Pope would be. The journalists were interviewing cardinals and senior clergy all day long so they'd be hearing lots of view points and would talk of leading candidates and compromise candidates. But one name came up again and again- Cardinal Joesph Ratizinger.

Anyway I was doing some surfing on the web and discovered that Paddy Power were running a book on who would be next Pope. As the holiday was only costing me the price of a flight I decided to lump on Ratzinger to the tune of €100 at odds of 8/1. It seemed like Paddy Power were just running the book to be controversial and draw publicity as all the odds were between 6-1 and 11-1, they didn't seem to have a clue themselves who it could be.

Whereas I had some inside information from the journalists- Ratzinger was very very close to John Paul and also he wasn't a Jesuit but carried favour with the Jesuits, who have a big vote and influence amongst who becomes the next Pope. Jesuits tend to be academic theologians and Rattzinger was one too so lots of things were clicking into place according to what the journalists were hearing on and off the record. It wasn't long before I mentioned in the bar that evening that I had a bet on Ratzinger being the next Pope, the journalists I was talking to expressed surprise that a bookies were actually taking bets on such an event. Some of the American hacks were religious themselves and were horrified to hear it. But a good few of the CNN and CNBC lads were rushing to set up Paddy Power accounts. Being American they couldn't so they gave me money to lay on Ratzinger for them instead. By the time all was done I had over €900 lying on Ratzinger and had doubled up my own bet to €200 as we got more information as the days went by.

And then we finally had white smoke from the Vatican and Ratzinger was elected Pope Benedict. Score Paddy Power paid out €7,200 winnings and I did a transfer and went down to the bank to withdraw and sort out the journalists who had backed with me. We all went on the piss in the hotel to celebrate and the champagne flowed as the journalists celebrated finishing covering the two events and having a winning bonus to boot. The bill at the bar and restaurant ran over €5,000 with the funny thing being that we still weren't spending the winnings but instead spending Rupert's profits on Sky and CNN expense cards. It was glorious. I had a 7 day holiday in Rome free of charge and came home with €1600 to boot. Happy days

But it didn't end there. Two years later one of my sisters got married in Tuscany and after the wedding my mother (who is a devout Catholic, goes to mass daily, etc) wanted to go down to Rome to see the Vatican. Anyway she knew a teacher in Drogheda whose brother was a priest in the Vatican. We met him on in the morning just outside the gate to St Peter's Square and it turned out he had worked there for over 30 years and was the Vatican equivalent to Ticketmaster- the Pope gives an audience every Wednesday and this priest secured the whole family front row tickets, he was in charge of distributing tickets all around the world to religious congregations coming to Catholic HQ.

He even brought us in the back way and we got to see the Swiss Guards changing rooms with all their jester outfits hanging up ! So there we were sitting in the front row of a crowd of about 30,000 on St.Peters Square and the place is mobbed with nuns from Africa chanting and praying. For an atheist like myself it was completely surreal and I was secretly sniggering to myself about the amount of fuss that was being created for some dude in a big white dress and a hat like the KKK.

So the Pope comes out in his Popemobile (which didn't have bullet proof casing- he had faith in the early days but no longer) and they drove him around the edges of the crowd. Everyone stood up and then next thing I knew a pack of overly enthusiastic nuns had rushed up from the cheap seats and were pushing against me into the barriers as the Pope came closer to us. It was like a rock concert for these African nuns and two of my sisters were also getting crushed up against the barrier but only as hard as nuns crush you, which isn't very hard.

I don't think I've ever been in such a surreal situation. Pope Benny came to us, he was so close to us you could see the detail on his big gold sovereign rings and a massive bushel of white hair growing up inside his nostrils. The nuns went wild and were trying to grab him, touch him, anything to get a bit of extra holiness inside them. Not forgetting that this was the dude who I had won €1600 on a couple of years previously I got just as enthusiastic for him and started throwing my hands out to get a piece of the action, sarcastically behaving identically to the gaggle of nuns surrounding me. His hand briefly brushed against mine and I shouted out 'Good man Benny' as he rolled by at 3 miles per hour.

Afterwards at lunch one of my sisters remarked that for an atheist I was pretty enthusiastic for the Pope and was wondering if some religious intervention had come over me all of a sudden. I laughed and told the family what had happened two years previous and how I had won €1600 on the Pope and had a free holiday to boot. My mother was horrified that I was gambling on the Pope and being a middle man for over €7,000 of winning bets but she could see the funny side at the same time.

Both episodes were completely bizarre as I just found myself put into these situations by accident- I had never intended to be in Rome in the first place and never thought that the Pope would be winning me a wad of cash on a free holiday or that our hands would touch a few years later.

Anyway I know After Hours thinks that Pope Benny is some kind of Nazi who abuses kids. But I think he is a top bloke and I owe him big time. And the previous guy for dying when he did which got me to Rome to begin with.

So After Hours, have you ever had any funny or dam right bizarre things happen you when on holidays ? Do share....

3ndahalfof6

Wow long post, I met someone who could speak Irish.

TheBody

Is there a TL;DR version?

brummytom

Couldn't be arsed reading that.

In Bulgaria in July, fell asleep while having a tommy tank. Mate had to get a spare key from reception to get into the room and was greeted with my pale, hairy arse.
Got chased down a beach by the mafia after one lad decided to go for a piss on it;
and another mate was robbed by a prostitute while getting a blow job ("I didn't know she was one!" he says).

garbanzo

What happened with the booord from London..did you get the ride??

3ndahalfof6

brummytom wrote: »

Couldn't be arsed reading that.

In Bulgaria in July, fell asleep while having a tommy tank. Mate had to get a spare key from reception to get into the room and was greeted with my pale, hairy arse. Got chased down a beach by the mafia after one lad decided to go for a piss on it; and another mate was robbed by a prostitute while getting a blow job ("I didn't know she was one!" he says).

Couldn't be arsed or front reading this.

wp_rathead

tl;dr version:
Guy got free holiday to Rome. Bet money for himself and few american journalists who couldn't bet with PP for Raz to be next Pope.
So he ended up making money from free holiday.


strangest thing to happen to me on hols was I accidentally ordered liver in Tunisia and projectile vomited in a cartoon-esque way when realised what it was

mfceiling

Too much information man...

3ndahalfof6

mfceiling wrote: »

Too much information man...

your over qualified you don't get the job.

Biggins

First time I got married many years ago, the couple that got married before us in the same church, we bumped into at the airport later that day, we separated from them after "best wishes" was said - only to find them on the same plane later - through chatting on the plane (they were sitting across from us!), discovered they were staying in a Blackpool B&B in the same street as was our own based, just a few doors away. We thus shared a taxi.
Kept running into them there after for a fortnight all over the place.

Gospel truth!

If I had of been a betting man I wouldn't have put odds on the chances of it happening.

bleg

Good story. I enjoyed that.

Fr_Dougal

RATM wrote: »

A few years back I was going out with a girl from London. Bit of a long distance relationship thing, we'd see each other every two or three weeks. After lots of trips to London and her coming here a good bit we got tired of that and instead took advantage of Ryanairs cheapies to meet in a new city every time. But this one time we were booked to meet up in Barcelona for the weekend but at the last minute she cancelled the whole thing. She worked as a camerawoman for Sky News and the Pope was dying and she got called to work at short notice to go out to Rome. I was a bit pissed off as she was a freelancer and didn't have to go into work. But she loved the thrill of covering news events that would go down in world history and even though not religious herself she wanted to go as she had missed out on covering the French riots a bit before and was annoyed she didn't go. But she was feeling guilty nonetheless.

So a couple of days later she had a word with her boss who gave her the okay for me to go out to Rome and stay with her in their hotel free of charge. I said feck it and took the rest of the week off work and went and enjoyed the comforts of a 5 star hotel and the delights of the mini bar, all courteous of Sky News and Rupert Murdoch (Thanks Rupes, I owe you one:p)

Anyway the Pope died and the news story turned into speculation on who would replace him. The hotel we were staying in hosted all the worlds media, apart from the Sky crew CNN, BBC, CBS, etc were all there so in the evenings in the bar I got to know a good few journalists and inevitably the conversation would come around to speculation on who the next Pope would be. The journalists were interviewing cardinals and senior clergy all day long so they'd be hearing lots of view points and would talk of leading candidates and compromise candidates. But one name came up again and again- Cardinal Joesph Ratizinger.

Anyway I was doing some surfing on the web and discovered that Paddy Power were running a book on who would be next Pope. As the holiday was only costing me the price of a flight I decided to lump on Ratzinger to the tune of €100 at odds of 8/1. It seemed like Paddy Power were just running the book to be controversial and draw publicity as all the odds were between 6-1 and 11-1, they didn't seem to have a clue themselves who it could be.

Whereas I had some inside information from the journalists- Ratzinger was very very close to John Paul and also he wasn't a Jesuit but carried favour with the Jesuits, who have a big vote and influence amongst who becomes the next Pope. Jesuits tend to be academic theologians and Rattzinger was one too so lots of things were clicking into place according to what the journalists were hearing on and off the record. It wasn't long before I mentioned in the bar that evening that I had a bet on Ratzinger being the next Pope, the journalists I was talking to expressed surprise that a bookies were actually taking bets on such an event. Some of the American hacks were religious themselves and were horrified to hear it. But a good few of the CNN and CNBC lads were rushing to set up Paddy Power accounts. Being American they couldn't so they gave me money to lay on Ratzinger for them instead. By the time all was done I had over €900 lying on Ratzinger and had doubled up my own bet to €200 as we got more information as the days went by.

And then we finally had white smoke from the Vatican and Ratzinger was elected Pope Benedict. Score Paddy Power paid out €7,200 winnings and I did a transfer and went down to the bank to withdraw and sort out the journalists who had backed with me. We all went on the piss in the hotel to celebrate and the champagne flowed as the journalists celebrated finishing covering the two events and having a winning bonus to boot. The bill at the bar and restaurant ran over €5,000 with the funny thing being that we still weren't spending the winnings but instead spending Rupert's profits on Sky and CNN expense cards. It was glorious. I had a 7 day holiday in Rome free of charge and came home with €1600 to boot. Happy days

But it didn't end there. Two years later one of my sisters got married in Tuscany and after the wedding my mother (who is a devout Catholic, goes to mass daily, etc) wanted to go down to Rome to see the Vatican. Anyway she knew a teacher in Drogheda whose brother was a priest in the Vatican. We met him on in the morning just outside the gate to St Peter's Square and it turned out he had worked there for over 30 years and was the Vatican equivalent to Ticketmaster- the Pope gives an audience every Wednesday and this priest secured the whole family front row tickets, he was in charge of distributing tickets all around the world to religious congregations coming to Catholic HQ.

He even brought us in the back way and we got to see the Swiss Guards changing rooms with all their jester outfits hanging up ! So there we were sitting in the front row of a crowd of about 30,000 on St.Peters Square and the place is mobbed with nuns from Africa chanting and praying. For an atheist like myself it was completely surreal and I was secretly sniggering to myself about the amount of fuss that was being created for some dude in a big white dress and a hat like the KKK.

So the Pope comes out in his Popemobile (which didn't have bullet proof casing- he had faith in the early days but no longer) and they drove him around the edges of the crowd. Everyone stood up and then next thing I knew a pack of overly enthusiastic nuns had rushed up from the cheap seats and were pushing against me into the barriers as the Pope came closer to us. It was like a rock concert for these African nuns and two of my sisters were also getting crushed up against the barrier but only as hard as nuns crush you, which isn't very hard.

I don't think I've ever been in such a surreal situation. Pope Benny came to us, he was so close to us you could see the detail on his big gold sovereign rings and a massive bushel of white hair growing up inside his nostrils. The nuns went wild and were trying to grab him, touch him, anything to get a bit of extra holiness inside them. Not forgetting that this was the dude who I had won €1600 on a couple of years previously I got just as enthusiastic for him and started throwing my hands out to get a piece of the action, sarcastically behaving identically to the gaggle of nuns surrounding me. His hand briefly brushed against mine and I shouted out 'Good man Benny' as he rolled by at 3 miles per hour.

Afterwards at lunch one of my sisters remarked that for an atheist I was pretty enthusiastic for the Pope and was wondering if some religious intervention had come over me all of a sudden. I laughed and told the family what had happened two years previous and how I had won €1600 on the Pope and had a free holiday to boot. My mother was horrified that I was gambling on the Pope and being a middle man for over €7,000 of winning bets but she could see the funny side at the same time.

Both episodes were completely bizarre as I just found myself put into these situations by accident- I had never intended to be in Rome in the first place and never thought that the Pope would be winning me a wad of cash on a free holiday or that our hands would touch a few years later.

Anyway I know After Hours thinks that Pope Benny is some kind of Nazi who abuses kids. But I think he is a top bloke and I owe him big time. And the previous guy for dying when he did which got me to Rome to begin with.

So After Hours, have you ever had any funny or dam right bizarre things happen you when on holidays ? Do share....

Thinly veiled "I've been to Rome" thread...

Ghandee

First night, on my first holiday to the canaries.
A fcuking cat found its way into the bungalow i was staying in and gave birth to about 7 scrawny yapping little ugly fcuking kittens all over my towels in my wardrobe.

And the stupid cleaning lady thought it was hilarious when i told her to move the friggin things the next morning!

3ndahalfof6

Biggins wrote: »

First time I got married many years ago, the couple that got married before us in the same church, we bumped into at the airport later that day, we separated from them after "best wishes" was said - only to find them on the same plane later - through chatting on the plane (they were sitting across from us!), discovered they were staying in a Blackpool B&B in the same street as was our own based, just a few doors away. We thus shared a taxi.
Kept running into them there after for a fortnight all over the place.

Gospel truth!

If I had of been a betting man I wouldn't have put odds on the chances of it happening.

Nice story, strange things happen, but if you think about it, there was 4 of yis and from the day you were all born everything had to slot into place for that to happen, it wrecks my head trying to work it out.

I bet you were popeular













sorry....

Einhard

Ok....

Was on the J1 in Boston a few years back. Shared two apartments in a fairly upmarket tower block with about 15 other lads. The main apartment was on the top floor, and while this slept half of us, it was also the base during the day. We watched tv there, hung around, drank before going out, held parties etc. The other was downstairs, and was basically used if you wanted to chill or get to sleep early.

Anyway, one night towards the end we all came back after a night out, and being tired as well as rather drunken, I went down to the lower apartment for a snooze. I woke up the next morning feeling a cold sensation on ym back, and when I looked up there was this Mexican fucker spraying me with a bottle of deodorant. In the midst of a heart attack, I hopped out of bed shouting as him, wanting to know how the fook he got into my apartment. When I noticed that a compatriot was in another bed across the way watching. Problem was...we didn't have another bed across the way!

So there I was, a still half-drunken, red-haried, overwight Irish lad in his boxers looking around in befuddlement at a strange apartment, while two Mexican guys cowered away in fear. I let out a "Fuck boys, I'm sorry" and legged it out the front door. Turns out I had spent the night in the apartment next to mine. Everytime I saw the two Mexican boys after that, they turned in the opposite direction!:pac:

Weirdest part though, was that I found my clothes all neatly folded, and my socks in my shoes, in my own apartment later on...




Totally unrelated...my arse was in bits for days after.

Intensive Care Bear

Biggins wrote: »

First time I got married many years ago, the couple that got married before us in the same church, we bumped into at the airport later that day, we separated from them after "best wishes" was said - only to find them on the same plane later - through chatting on the plane (they were sitting across from us!), discovered they were staying in a Blackpool B&B in the same street as was our own based, just a few doors away. We thus shared a taxi.
Kept running into them there after for a fortnight all over the place.

Gospel truth!

If I had of been a betting man I wouldn't have put odds on the chances of it happening.

When this happens me i always feel the need to say "good luck with the book"

Mint Sauce

Well, there was this one time, at band camp....

pontia

playing connect four with ladyboys in bar in phuket

JustAddWater

TheBody wrote: »

Is there a TL;DR version?

The pope died... OP cashed in

Rupert murdoch

3ndahalfof6

I met an Irish girl in NY, she was only there 3 weeks but I thought she was part of little Italy, I still laugh when I think about it, but it seems to be wide spread,

prob the same as someone going up north and coming back with, bing a bong accent after a couple of months.

Intensive Care Bear

3ndahalfof6 wrote: »

Wow long post, I met someone who could speak Irish.

My sister was in Berlin about about 10 years ago and got talking to this black guy who was selling roses in the street. He was fluent in Irish and my sister spent a half an hour chatting away to him.

gara

Our hotel rather inconveniently burnt down before we got there

Biggins

If waking up in strange places after a good night (or bad night!) out on holiday qualifies as "Funny things...", I'd say a good lot here have a story or two to tell!

Not me though, I was always a good boy.

(I was dear ...honest!)

3ndahalfof6

1210m5g wrote: »

My sister was in Berlin about about 10 years ago and got talking to this black guy who was selling roses in the street. He was fluent in Irish and my sister spent a half an hour chatting away to him.

She is one lucky girl she is speaking the best dialect in the world,

I love the Irish language and with so many people leaving Ireland and going to new destinations, they seem to get the jist of, Irish is great and would love to be able to speak it,

but also with so many new different types of people entering Ireland who speak different language, we work with them, while listening to them speak there native language,

it shows me and tells me how important our language is, and I hope it makes a come back,

Einhard

Just read the OP now. Great story. Worth the read. Good ol' Benny!

Intensive Care Bear

3ndahalfof6 wrote: »

She is one lucky girl she is speaking the best dialect in the world,

I love the Irish language and with so many people leaving Ireland and going to new destinations, they seem to get the jist of, Irish is great and would love to be able to speak it,

but also with so many new different types of people entering Ireland who speak different language, we work with them, while listening to them speak there native language,

it shows me and tells me how important our language is, and I hope it makes a come back,

If i had met him i would have presumed he was speaking some African language:D luckily she is fluent.

cantdecide

In Nepal there are all kinds of names for your close friend, your best friend, your oldest friend and all kinds of respectful terms for an older woman.

The stock term for a guy younger than you is Bai. Imagine the hilarity when myself and my mate, two boys from Cork did a highly illegal U-turn on main st Birgunj on our motorbikes only to be confronted by a middle aged policeman shouting incredulously after my mate "WHERE ARE YOU GOING, BAI".

RATM

Biggins wrote: »

If waking up in strange places after a good night (or bad night!) out on holiday qualifies as "Funny things...", I'd say a good lot here have a story or two to tell!

Not me though, I was always a good boy.

(I was dear ...honest!)

yeah right :rolleyes:

Fromthetrees

Thinly vieled I've been abroad thread.

admiralofthefleet

Fromthetrees wrote: »

Thinly vieled I've been abroad thread.

thinly veiled 'stop with the shite replies' post

humbert

Great story. A bit depressing that it's over the 200 word limit for a lot of users.

Inspires me to remember all the crazy interesting adventures that lie in wait for someone with a light heart and a little enthusiasm.

DazMarz

6th year holiday abroad. 5 of us staying in a dingy apartment block in Ibiza. The place was deserted. We were the only ones in the place and had the run of it. The block was a square that had a swimming pool in the middle of it, overlooked by the apartments.

Last night there, and we were all having a dip in the pool, drinking cans and trying to avoid drowning. One of the lads, however, has gone on the pull in a local nightclub. He has a girlfriend back home too. The rest of us were either not bothered or were too pathetic to pull girls.

Anyway, we see him sneaking into our apartment with this absolute stunner of a bird. We all are delighted for him.

About five minutes later we hear shouting and shrieking coming from inside the apartment. The door is flung open and the stunner comes flying out, hits the railing of the balcony and turns and legs it, handbag flying out behind her. Our mate comes steaming out the apartment in his boxers, hyperventilating and with a face of pure murder. He flings a high-heeled shoe in the general direction of the fleeing girl.

We, in the pool, have no fúcking idea what's going on. We're looking up in confusion at the whole scene.

For reasons best known to himself, our mate cleared it up. In his fury, he screamed out, "FÚCK SAKE... ALL THESE GIRLS ARE BLOKES!!!"

It seemed the stunner was a pre-op transsexual. We all broke our bollix laughing.

Our friend has recently completed over 5 years of therapy.

TerryTibbs!

Isn't really a funny story but I know this lad who always makes up stories trying to be funny.

It is hilarious.

I was in San Diego visiting my brother and one day we were walking down the road with us and his housemate, when we came across the stalled car at the side of the road. So us, being the good Samaritans ventured to give him some help. We were pushing for a few minutes, when we reached a slope and it started to gain up speed. It was only then that we realized that there was nobody in steering the car, as it veered across the quiet road and into a ditch.

It took us ages to get the car out and we kept walking.

MaxSteele

Blacked out 3 nights in a row in Tenerife in July. Had to wake up to endless stories of manginas, helicopter swinging, chasing lucky lucky's completely naked for no reason.

Was bargaining with an asian women for those strobe light toys, when she put her hand out to receive payment, she received an Irish willy perched on her palm.

Twas all innocent fun. :pac: