Ladies, would you meet someone for the first time without knowing their phone number?

Honey-ec

Ladies, just out of curiosity, stemming from a bit of debate that's ongoing in another forum: if you were meeting a man for the first time, either from online dating or some other kind of blind date situation, would you insist on getting his phone number before the date? What would your reaction be if he refused to give it to you?

KamiKazeKitten

Ah, I saw that debate, there was a bit of a gender divide on it amirite?Personally, hell no!

Why would I trust someone enough to go on a date with them if they won't even give me their number? And what if one of us is late or something or can't make it, do you stand them up?
I don't understand why not tbh.

coffee_cake

I'd want it out of simple convenience - what if I'm held up or he is or something and we can't contact?
I'd find it very bizarre if they said no

krudler

bluewolf wrote: »

I'd want it out of simple convenience - what if I'm held up or he is or something and we can't contact?
I'd find it very bizarre if they said no

Yeah, its simple manners to give someone a way of contacting you before a date, like what if it was arranged for a week later or something and you had to change the time or place? be an instant reason to not meet them tbh.

hairyprincess

What were the reasons for not giving a number?

Honey-ec

hairyprincess wrote: »

What were the reasons for not giving a number?

They might stalk you afterwards if the date didn't go well :rolleyes:

xDramaxQueenx

Honey-ec wrote: »

They might stalk you afterwards if the date didn't go well :rolleyes:

Yeah, or else he's married.

Ophiopogon

Don't think it would bother me really. I'm not tied to my phone in the first place and I'm a bit old school in that I actually turn up at the appointed time instead of texting to be 10 mins late or such.

I could understand waiting to give out too much personal info, there's a lot of nutcases out there!

Also, I looks to me to be too much over thinking before the first date.

Honey-ec

Ophiopogon wrote: »

I could understand waiting to give out too much personal info, there's a lot of nutcases out there!

I don't consider my phone number to be personal info, tbh.

I think that when you've got to the stage of agreeing to meet someone, you've both made a judgement call that they're more than likely not a nutcase. But, if I had arranged a date with someone and they refused to give me their number, alarm bells would immediately start ringing, tbh - wife or girlfriend would be my first guess.

Larianne

Insisted is a bit strong a word. If I had to demand getting his number then I wouldn't bother meeting up. Getting someone's phone number before meeting up should be a natural progression from either party asking the other person out. If someone said to me "Er, I'd prefer if I didn't give out my number until after the first meeting" I'd be wondering what they were doing meeting up with me in the first place. I'd be a bit insulted actually for them to think I was some sort of weirdo/crazy stalker person.

Scarinae

I’d definitely want to swap numbers beforehand, having said that I’ve never really done dating so I have never actually done this. It would never have occurred to me that it might be dangerous - it’s not like you’re telling them where you live

Ophiopogon

Honey-ec wrote: »

I don't consider my phone number to be personal info, tbh.

I think that when you've got to the stage of agreeing to meet someone, you've both made a judgement call that they're more than likely not a nutcase. But, if I had arranged a date with someone and they refused to give me their number, alarm bells would immediately start ringing, tbh - wife or girlfriend would be my first guess.

I would consider my phone number personal info.

I wouldn't go straight to the "wife/girlfriend" either but as I said I would consider all of this to be overthinking.

OldNotWIse

xDramaxQueenx wrote: »

Yeah, or else he's married.

No, if he's married he'll just give you the tesco mobile number

(runs)

Novella

I would also consider my phone number personal information. Having had a negative experience whereby I gave my number to somebody who was then abusive towards me via text, I am careful about who I give it to now. Therefore, I would meet someone without having their number and I'd be understanding if they were hesitant to provide that information too.

sam34

I definitely consider my phone number to be personal information. if the wrong person has it, they can hassle/harass/stalk me, they can disturb me at my place of work, at home, in my bedroom. rather than having the hassle and inconvenience of changing my number, I try and limit the risk of this happening by being very careful who I give it to in the first place.

similarly, I'd never pass on someone else's phone number without checking with them first, and likewise none of my friends would give out mine without asking me first.

gara

You can't make demands of people you barely know and there is absolutely no way I'd ever insist that somebody gave me their phone number. If they want you to have it, they'll give it to you. If you have to ask, they probably don't or aren't comfortable yet -it isn't always necessarily some dramatic 'other woman' scenario -some people are just a little more discerning than others.

I share personal information when an element of trust has been established and that takes time. I'd also consider it unreasonable and a little diva-ish to be demanding things from somebody you haven't even met.

I've seen the thread in question and if the quantity of first dates is anything to go by, it seems half the country would have acquired your phone number in a matter of weeks

riveratom

Honey-ec wrote: »

They might stalk you afterwards if the date didn't go well :rolleyes:

You say it like it's outside the bounds of possibility!

mariaalice

I recently got a phone call from some one I met on a dating site 5 years ago!! I though it was a bit odd/creepy that they still had my number we has gone out about 3 times. I have had people get in touch a year after I met them asking me if I would like to met again so I can see why people would be a concerned about giving out there number before meting someone.

Reganio 2

gara wrote: »

You can't make demands of people you barely know and there is absolutely no way I'd ever insist that somebody gave me their phone number. If they want you to have it, they'll give it to you. If you have to ask, they probably don't or aren't comfortable yet -it isn't always necessarily some dramatic 'other woman' scenario -some people are just a little more discerning than others.

I share personal information when an element of trust has been established and that takes time. I'd also consider it unreasonable and a little diva-ish to be demanding things from somebody you haven't even met.

I've seen the thread in question and if the quantity of first dates is anything to go by, it seems half the country would have acquired your phone number in a matter of weeks

I would personally need a number as well I don't know why it would be a comfort thing for me personally I guess. But if you's didn't share numbers before the date and then trade numbers when you are saying good bye. I guess its a good way to know if the date went well.

@Mariaalice. Consider it a good thing, you obviously have a lasting effect on these people. Id love to have a date like that.... Although I would never be that creepy... Its a bit much .

eviltwin

I'd want to get to know someone before agreeing to meet them, I would need to have a few conversations because I don't think talking online would be enough for me. So I would expect that by the time we get to a face to face meeting I will already have his number. I would find it strange if he refused to give it to me and my first thought would be he's not single

Stench Blossoms

Not in a million years.

It's very easy to block numbers on smart phones these days. If they did turn out to be a nutter I'd just block them.

sam34

Stench Blossoms wrote: »

Not in a million years.

It's very easy to block numbers on smart phones these days. If they did turn out to be a nutter I'd just block them.

not on all phones and not on all networks.

I actually ended up leaving Vodafone because they didn't offer this. anytime I rang them about it I was met with unhelpful wishy washy answers.

Stench Blossoms

sam34 wrote: »

not on all phones and not on all networks.

I actually ended up leaving Vodafone because they didn't offer this. anytime I rang them about it I was met with unhelpful wishy washy answers.

I said smart phones, not all phones.

sam34

Stench Blossoms wrote: »

I said smart phones, not all phones.

it's not possible on all smart phones.

Mc Kenzie

I think on anormal occasion to meet someone i would assume we would exchange numbers or have already done so. I think that if a guy didnt want to give me his number aready, that would set me thinking, something seems odd.

I dont think id go for it

The Big Red Button

Honey-ec wrote: »

Ladies, just out of curiosity, stemming from a bit of debate that's ongoing in another forum: if you were meeting a man for the first time, either from online dating or some other kind of blind date situation, would you insist on getting his phone number before the date? What would your reaction be if he refused to give it to you?

I wouldn't insist on getting it from him. If he didn't/wouldn't give it to me, I'd just not meet with him.

If a guy is that paranoid, chances are he's got issues that I wouldn't really want to become involved with.

I mean, if you're going to meet up with someone, you have to trust your own personal judgement as to whether you like them. If he thinks it's OK to meet you, but doesn't trust you enough to give you his number - you're clearly not on the same page, like!

Honey-ec

Ophiopogon wrote: »

I would consider my phone number personal info.

Novella wrote: »

I would also consider my phone number personal information.

I'm obviously in the minority there, so. I've had the same number since I was 17 and it was originally a work number in a mobile phone company, so I'm well used to it not being strictly for personal use, if that makes any sense.

Anyway, I've never "demanded" anyone's number, I don't know how that became an assumption. It's never actually been an issue for me; I've always naturally swapped numbers with anyone I've arranged a date with. I was just genuinely surprised at the number of people who seemed horrified at the very idea.

Larianne

The poll question says insist, which can mean demand. That's why I used it in my post.

I'm with you though on swapping numbers before meeting, but for posters like Novella, I can see why she would be wary in swapping hers with someone.