Half eleven, out of cigarette papers and no store open.

Bipolar Joe

Fuck. What do I do apart from take it as an opportunity to quit?

Oranage2

Garage?

Walk around the pubs and try bum some.

Augmerson

No point living. Drink the Kool Aid.

The King of Moo

Don't smoke.

PseudoFamous

surely there's a 24 hour tesco nearby

Bipolar Joe

Like I said, nowhere open, they all shut in this tiny town.

Tigerbaby

roll up newspaper . insert tealeaves. it may help.

best of luck

ps.. I've got 60 B&H here right now..... sorry

can I email one to you?

Agent Smith

I'd run around screaming "I need some papers papers papers are what i need... Hey hey"

LETHAL LADY

Do you have any envelopes?

NegativeCreep

I haven't had a smoke all day. I've bit my nails down as far as they go and I'm just about to start pulling my hair out. I feel your pain OP

Bipolar Joe

Tigerbaby wrote: »

roll up newspaper . insert tealeaves. it may help.

best of luck

ps.. I've got 60 B&H here right now..... sorry

I'm actually considering this. I have half a packet of Cutters Choice, bunch of filters, just no papers .

the groutch

Karmic payback for littering the streets with your cigarette butts?

For Forks Sake

Bipolar Joe wrote: »

I'm actually considering this. I have half a packet of Cutters Choice, bunch of filters, just no papers .

Time to take up chewing tobacco then. Have you a spitoon?

Tombi!

Time to find out how much you need it!

Surely there's a place within a few miles?
I'm sure you can walk to that, if you need it that badly.

You won't walk there; too much effort. So you don't need another rollup.

Sergeant

Rip a strip of the wallpaper off your bedsit wall and enjoy your cigarette.

Bipolar Joe

the groutch wrote: »

Karmic payback for littering the streets with your cigarette butts?

No, because I throw them in the bin or into an empty filter box when there's not one around, but way to be a chump, A+.

will.i.am

Smoke a teabag or call to the neighbors!!

Bipolar Joe

Found a packet of Silk Cut Blue (Rubbish). I'll buy a new pack for the owner tomorrow because I'm such a nice guy.

Ronin247

Put some tobacco on a spoon ,add a little water and then heat to boiling point on the gas cooker. Inject some of that into a vein and you will be ok.Mainlining is the only way to go...

Mr Whirly

If you have a bible, smoke it.

cup of tea

Make a home-made bong and smoke the tobacco with it.

hardCopy

Pipe?

Bipolar Joe

Bipolar Joe wrote: »

Fuck. What do I do apart from take it as an opportunity to quit?

Swap ye skins for weed

rubadubduba

make a pipe

BBDBB

pick all the smoked butts out of the bin and carefuly open them,
remove all the unsmoked tobacco and collect it,
then get a rizla paper or rizla paper substitute and
realise how desperate your life has become to be scrabbling about like this, all for the sake of a ciggie

Mr Whirly

Mr Whirly wrote: »

If you have a bible, smoke it.

or a Koran.

Sinfonia

Mr Whirly wrote: »

If you have a bible, smoke it.

Indeed, bible paper is nice and thin - use a dab of milk to help it stick together.

Bipolar Joe

I hate it when it becomes apparent that not only does no one read posts, they barely even skim the thread title.

ArtSmart

sat nite. not a pub opened anywhere? if pub hasn't got any, a customer might.

Pottler

:DQuit whingin Joe, Blue will do. At a pinch, wallpaper will do! Crisis averted, you got lucky, don't let it happen again. BTW, quitting is for quitters.:D

Bipolar Joe

ArtSmart wrote: »

sat nite. not a pub opened anywhere? if pub hasn't got any, a customer might.

I am pretty much in the middle of no place.

The King of Moo

Bipolar Joe wrote: »

I hate it when it becomes apparent that not only does no one read posts, they barely even skim the thread title.

My favourite cereal toys were the Cornflakes Bicycle Reflectors.

Shryke

Sweat it out like a man.

Kurz

Bible is your only man. Those pages are actually thinner than blue rizla.

If it's not tobacco you're smoking then I suggest a bit of Mcgyver with a deodorant can lid and a biro.

ArmaniJeanss

Bipolar Joe wrote: »

Found a packet of Silk Cut Blue (Rubbish). I'll buy a new pack for the owner tomorrow because I'm such a nice guy.

They are poor alright. One thing you can do with them is take off the filter and smoke them backwards as a rollie, get slightly more of a hit that way.

NegativeCreep

NegativeCreep wrote: »

I haven't had a smoke all day. I've bit my nails down as far as they go and I'm just about to start pulling my hair out. I feel your pain OP

are you trying to quit cold turkey? best of luck.

Bipolar Joe

Shryke wrote: »

Sweat it out like a man.

But I am not a man, I am Devo!

No bible in the house.

EoghanIRL

Pottler wrote: »

:DQuit whingin Joe, Blue will do. At a pinch, wallpaper will do! Crisis averted, you got lucky, don't let it happen again. BTW, quitting is for quitters.:D

And for people who want to reduce the risk of lung cancer

Bipolar Joe

ArmaniJeanss wrote: »

They are poor alright. One thing you can do with them is take off the filter and smoke them backwards as a rollie, get slightly more of a hit that way.

That's pretty clever, will try!

Bipolar Joe

EoghanIRL wrote: »

And for people who want to reduce the risk of lung cancer

I'm OK with being dead. I won't be alive, so it's not like I'll be aware of missing out.

BBDBB

Bipolar Joe wrote: »

Fuck. What do I do apart from take it as an opportunity to quit?

WORST

BLUES

LYRICS

EVER!

stuar

Make a DIY pipe.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=imSVh5WJ3lo

Tigerbaby

Bipolar Joe wrote: »

I'm actually considering this. I have half a packet of Cutters Choice, bunch of filters, just no papers .

Necessity Mother of Invention etc ... Frank Zappa and all that. There must be some papyrus-related stuff in your home.

Toilet paper ?

Grease proof paper?


Come on. You can do it.

I'm with ye bro. ( 57 B&H left ...)

I feel your pain

asherbassad

One sheet of double toilet paper.
Gently separate the two leaves.
Lay one leaf on a flat dry surface.
Breathe slightly on it soften fluff.
Gently score off a 3"x3" section using razor blade or cut with scissors.

Sprinkle tobacco liberally on this section.
Breathe again to add moisture for an adhesive.
Roll on surface till "cigarette" is tight.
Use a dab of honey mixed with saliva to seal.
Twist snug both ends.

Light.

Inhale.

Enjoy.


Peace.

Chuck Stone

One ply of toilet roll will more than suffice in an emergency.

Not that I'd know anything about that type of thing.

NegativeCreep

Jake1 wrote: »

NegativeCreep wrote: »

I haven't had a smoke all day. I've bit my nails down as far as they go and I'm just about to start pulling my hair out. I feel your pain OP

are you trying to quit cold turkey? best of luck.

No, I just literally have no money

I keep an aul bong made from coconut for times when there are no skins

I call it my Smokeanut

Bipolar Joe

asherbassad wrote: »

One sheet of double toilet paper.
Gently separate the two leaves.
Lay one leaf on a flat dry surface.
Breathe slightly on it soften fluff.
Gently score off a 3"x3" section using razor blade or cut with scissors.

Sprinkle tobacco liberally on this section.
Breathe again to add moisture for an adhesive.
Roll on surface till "cigarette" is tight.
Use a dab of honey mixed with saliva to seal.
Twist snug both ends.

Light.

Inhale.

Enjoy.


Peace.

This just made it to the top of the list of things to try.

Pottler

The King of Moo wrote: »

My favourite cereal toys were the Cornflakes Bicycle Reflectors.

Too quick!

wyndham

The closest thing you will find is telephone book paper. Try to use a white piece, with little print on it. Don't recommend the golden pages.

Pottler

asherbassad wrote: »

One sheet of double toilet paper.
Gently separate the two leaves.
Lay one leaf on a flat dry surface.
Breathe slightly on it soften fluff.
Gently score off a 3"x3" section using razor blade or cut with scissors.

Sprinkle tobacco liberally on this section.
Breathe again to add moisture for an adhesive.
Roll on surface till "cigarette" is tight.
Use a dab of honey mixed with saliva to seal.
Twist snug both ends.

Light.

Inhale.

Enjoy.


Peace.

I've led a sheltered, pampered life. This post says so!