Anyone got any absolute sure-fire ways to wake up after minimal sleep?

hatrickpatrick

Sceal is as follows: I'm heading to Electric Picnic tomorrow, by bus from Dublin. Last bus leaves Custom House Quay at 1PM, realistically I'll have to be out of my house in Sandycove by 11:15 to get the dart into town and allow for all possible disaster scenarios (dart is delayed, last bus is full or leaves early so I have to get an earlier one, alarm goes off and I have to go back to sort it, etc).

I'm also invited to a friend's birthday tonight in town which is intended to be an all night nightclub type session.

Now my immediate instinct is just not to go tonight at all. I have an unfortunate history of waking up by alarm, then waking up again an hour or two later without realizing I was falling back to sleep, and I've missed things in the past because of this.

However, it seems daft that other people I know are able to survive occasional nights like this with only 4-5 hours of sleep and still not only get up in time for their appointment the next morning, but actually be in good form and enjoy the day.

So how do people do this when they have no alternative? How to avoid either sleeping through the alarm or simply falling back to sleep?
Right now my setup is as follows:

"Sleep cycle" alarm app on iphone (detects what sleep phase you're in and wakes you up during a half hour window before your wake-up deadline when you're least likely to be in deep sleep and therefore wake up groggy and disorientated)

After this, periodic iphone alarms set 3 minutes apart, I have about 15 of them set

Clock radio next to me is not tuned to any particular station at the moment so when it goes off I'm going to get hit by an extremely obnoxious blast of white noise

I've also been thinking of getting a friend to call me in the morning to make sure I'm awake, but don't want to inconvenience anyone like that unless it's absolutely necessary.

So, with all this in mind, what the hell is wrong with me? How do others manage to survive on so little sleep and physically force themselves to wake up? It's not like I willfully wake up and say "ah f*ck it I'm staying in bed", I very genuinely intend to get up when the alarm goes off but tend to fall back to sleep so quickly that I don't notice it until I wake up again later

Anyone have advice / experience?

ceegee

PM me your address, Ill call round and kick you in the nuts in the morning. That should wake you up

hairyprincess

Bucket of ice cold water over the head and a kick in the goolies.

At least that's how I wake himself up

df1985

set your phone a random intervals over he course of half an hour, if you press snooze itll go again on top of other all the other times....about ten alarms later youre so bloody sick of the thing you get up.

shedweller

Set 3 or 4 alarms on your phone for every few minutes after the first one. Also place your phone where you have to get out of bed to stop it. Lorry the coffee into you afterwards and just keep one foot in front of the other, soldier!!

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

put your alarm far enough away that you'll hvae to get out of bed and walk to it to switch it off

then just head straight to the bathroom and have a cold shower.
insta-wake

hardCopy

Drink several pints of water going to bed, you won't sleep through your alarms with a full bladder

Also there is a shuttle bus running from Portlaoise train station, not sure of the times but it might be an option if you miss that 1 pm bus.

Dave0301

hardCopy wrote: »

Drink several pints of water going to bed, you won't sleep through your alarms with a full bladder

Also there is a shuttle bus running from Portlaoise train station, not sure of the times but it might be an option if you miss that 1 pm bus.

Or he'll just piss himself :pac:

hatrickpatrick

Dave0301 wrote: »

Or he'll just piss himself :pac:

If it gets me to EP in time for the Killers, so be it

starbelgrade

Bring a bag of yokes with you & you won't have to worry about staying awake for the whole weekend.

le la rat

What you talking bout willis?

Adhamh

Peel some raw garlic and keep the cloves in a glass next to your alarm. When it goes off in the morning, eat the raw garlic straight away. There's no way anybody can fall asleep again after that. Works like a charm.

NegativeCreep

starbelgrade wrote: »

Bring a bag of yokes with you & you won't have to worry about staying awake for the whole weekend.

This.
Or get someone to drag you out of the bed in the morning?

DavyD_83

Sleeping is cheating!
Man-up!!

ITS_A_BADGER

or dont go to bed at all and just drink like feck

Daftendirekt

You could try sleeping on the couch, or even on the floor.

I find that when I wake up, if I'm not in my nice familiar bed, I'm a lot less likely to drift off again. It's kind of an automatic reminder of the fact that you need to get up.

Grimebox

I have to bargained with first thing in the morning to get me out of my warm cocoon. I love a nice hot long shower so I convince myself that it will be just as cosy in the shower and this tricks my idiotic brain long enough to get me up and into the shower. I have to give myself around 30 mins to slowly wake up once in there. I have missed tons of things and I'm constantly late throughout my life. I do wake up for them but I choose not to get up due to lack of sleep or comfort. This strategy is working for me at the moment. I'm a ****ing idiot first thing in the morning

Chuck Stone

Have you ever been handed a cup of tea/coffee first thing in the morning in bed when you're still half asleep? It quite incredible how it shocks you out of sleep.

If you can't collar someone into waking you with a cup of tea/coffee invest in a 'teasmade'.

Nice one.
Top one.
Get sorted.

Pa Dee

hatrickpatrick wrote: »

Sceal is as follows: I'm heading to Electric Picnic tomorrow, by bus from Dublin. Last bus leaves Custom House Quay at 1PM, realistically I'll have to be out of my house in Sandycove by 11:15 to get the dart into town and allow for all possible disaster scenarios (dart is delayed, last bus is full or leaves early so I have to get an earlier one, alarm goes off and I have to go back to sort it, etc).

I'm also invited to a friend's birthday tonight in town which is intended to be an all night nightclub type session.

Now my immediate instinct is just not to go tonight at all. I have an unfortunate history of waking up by alarm, then waking up again an hour or two later without realizing I was falling back to sleep, and I've missed things in the past because of this.

However, it seems daft that other people I know are able to survive occasional nights like this with only 4-5 hours of sleep and still not only get up in time for their appointment the next morning, but actually be in good form and enjoy the day.

So how do people do this when they have no alternative? How to avoid either sleeping through the alarm or simply falling back to sleep?
Right now my setup is as follows:

"Sleep cycle" alarm app on iphone (detects what sleep phase you're in and wakes you up during a half hour window before your wake-up deadline when you're least likely to be in deep sleep and therefore wake up groggy and disorientated)

After this, periodic iphone alarms set 3 minutes apart, I have about 15 of them set

Clock radio next to me is not tuned to any particular station at the moment so when it goes off I'm going to get hit by an extremely obnoxious blast of white noise

I've also been thinking of getting a friend to call me in the morning to make sure I'm awake, but don't want to inconvenience anyone like that unless it's absolutely necessary.

So, with all this in mind, what the hell is wrong with me? How do others manage to survive on so little sleep and physically force themselves to wake up? It's not like I willfully wake up and say "ah f*ck it I'm staying in bed", I very genuinely intend to get up when the alarm goes off but tend to fall back to sleep so quickly that I don't notice it until I wake up again later

Anyone have advice / experience?

When the alarm goes for the first time lather your cock and balls in deep heat before you hit snooze!

mattjack

Get a light bulb, put a small hole in it ,fill with petrol and seal with insulating tape.

Fit the light bulb into a table light controlled by by a timer set at the hour you wish to wake up.

The resulting explosion and fireball should wake you up.

areyawell

Leave your iphone as far as away from the bed as possible i.e you will actually have to get out of bed to turn it off. Also a clock radio as far as way from bed as possible. Problem solved. I had to do this when I was starting 6AM starts. OP you really sound a like a lickle baby

nkay1985

Yeah I think you're just going to have to go with the tried and tested leave the phone on the other side of the room trick. Also, plug your clock radio in in another room with the volume set at full blast and the alarm set for ten minutes after your phone. Therefore, if you go back to bed after turning off your phone alarm, you'll have to get up again and go to another room. If you go back to bed after that, you're just making a conscious decision really.

sock puppet

Also surely 4 or 5 hours sleep is enough to get by?

nkay1985

sock puppet wrote: »

Also surely 4 or 5 hours sleep is enough to get by?

Yeah exactly! If I was to say "little sleep", I'd be talking about 1/2 hours. 4/5 hours is a good night's sleep before a full day of work for me.

elefant

Chuck Stone wrote: »

If you can't collar someone into waking you with a cup of tea/coffee invest in a 'teasmade'.
.

best
invention
ever

Rigol

If you get to sleep about 2:30 tonight you should be fine. Maybe don't go too mad on the beer tonight. Arrive late leave early. Or you could maybe even be designated driver - in which case they'll owe you one.

Either way, stop eating/drinking early and let your guts go asleep early rather than digesting a batter burger and chips/sugar/alcohol throughout the night.

I put my care package beside my bed every morning. All the things I need for a nice brekky in bed. Wake up ..... juice and cereal awaits.

Considering bed-pan.

mattjack

Rigol wrote: »

If you get to sleep about 2:30 tonight you should be fine. Maybe don't go too mad on the beer tonight. Arrive late leave early. Or you could maybe even be designated driver - in which case they'll owe you one.

I put my care package beside my bed every morning. All the things I need for a nice brekky in bed. Wake up ..... nice juice and cereal awaits.

Considering bed-pan.

Designated driver ? care package ? and considering a bed pan ? wtf

OP get yourself arrested , Garda will release you bout 6am .

Rigol

You know you want to try it matt.

srfc19

hatrickpatrick wrote: »

"Sleep cycle" alarm app on iphone (detects what sleep phase you're in and wakes you up during a half hour window before your wake-up deadline when you're least likely to be in deep sleep and therefore wake up groggy and disorientated)

After this, periodic iphone alarms set 3 minutes apart, I have about 15 of them set

Do you have an iphone??

Maybe you should mention it more often so we can all be sure!! :pac:

IceFjoem

Rigol wrote: »

If you get to sleep about 2:30 tonight you should be fine. Maybe don't go too mad on the beer tonight. Arrive late leave early. Or you could maybe even be designated driver - in which case they'll owe you one.

Either way, stop eating/drinking early and let your guts go asleep early rather than digesting a batter burger and chips/sugar/alcohol throughout the night.

I put my care package beside my bed every morning. All the things I need for a nice brekky in bed. Wake up ..... juice and cereal awaits.

Considering bed-pan.

Genius!

ermahgerd

Invite Larry Murphy over for a sleepover with your mother in the house.

bobin fudge

I often put a close peg half way down my penis and drink plenty of water, when you go to bed the pain will be a little uncomfortable but by morning you will have an errection due to having a full bladder and the pain of the close peg will be unbearable -causing you too wake up

shopaholic01

sock puppet wrote: »

Also surely 4 or 5 hours sleep is enough to get by?

:eek: I need 10-12 hours sleep. I would feel irritable and hungover after just 4-5 hours, especially if I was out the night before.

Pottler

Op, there's already a "first world problems" thread just over there ==> 4/5 hours ffs. Ie, as per normal.

mitosis

Lighted matches between your toes?

mackg

You have to be out of the house at 11:15? If your going to struggle to get up at this time after a regular night out you may not survive a music festival.