Contrepéter: the art of swapping sounds (Irish reboot)

Contrepeter

Let's share our skills at creating contrepèteries, the ancient French art of swapping sounds on purpose to reveal a secret meaning from an innocent sounding sentence.

Rules:
- The swapped sounds must not change the sounding of the rest of the sentence, and must retain their own phonetic value (it must all sound the same, down to the length of the vowels)
- The pair of swapped sounds must be in the same position in the word (start, middle, or end)
- The revealed meaning is often osé, or political/topical; it is better if it somehow relates/contrasts with the initial one.

Examples:
Based on the recent head-line about Mick Wallace in the Indo:
Mick Wallace’s balls are off the hook
Swap the "b" and "h" sounds. (spelling can change, but not sounds!)
Solution:

Mick Wallace’s holes are off the book

Note that this is different from Spoonerisms, which do not always make sense (they often just sound funny) and are not often on purpose (thus sometimes making fun of dyslexia)

Get started:
Make your suggestions, but do not give the solution just yet, let others try and guess!
Then provide the hint, by telling which sounds to swap.
Avoid writing the "secret sentence" to be revealed as it is often rude and inappropriate If you have to: use a spoiler!

peckerhead

Ah, saisons belles qui passent... :pac:

Contrepeter

peckerhead wrote: »

Ah, saisons belles qui passent... :pac:

Nice one, but the Irish twist is to have them in English, or Irish

Contrepeter

"Liars freak when they see a nun" ?

Contrepeter

Just realized the original example offered was actually not valid, because the pronunciation of the vowels of "ball" and "whole"!

A better example would be:
The pleasures of the bike, can be increased by a string of deeds

The pleasures of the dike, can be increased by a string of beads

Contrepeter

About speakers whose speeches are so rousing, you'd think they must have paid for every page written for them, if not for every word...

Payment for such a verve has to be paginal
Hint:

Swap the "v" and "p" sounds

im invisible

whats the difference between The Coors and a circus?

im invisible

What's the difference between a goldfish and a mountain goat?

One mucks around the fountains...

...between a priest and a lady in the bath?

one has hope in his soul

Contrepeter

im invisible wrote: »

whats the difference between The Coors and a circus?

What is it?

Contrepeter

Difference between plastic surgeons and Ruairi Quinn/Michael Gove?

They want to tuck features

im invisible

Contrepeter wrote: »

What is it?

one is a cunning array of stunts...

Contrepeter

Two new ones:
Joan Rivers’ beach (Solution: http://contrepeter.ie/?p=896)
I find your food on his list (Can you find the solution yourself?)