Does your GP's sexuality matter?

Rosy Posy

Sorry for the oblique title...wanted to hear some opinions on this scenario:

A friend of mine has a male GP but for her ladies issues ie smears etc, she chooses to go to a female GP in the same practice. Now I happen to know that the lady GP that she has been seeing is a lesbian. If it were a male GP, even a gay one, he would be required to have a female 'chaperone' in the room during the examination- as much to protect him from an allegation of misconduct as to protect/put the patient at ease. But when she sees the lady doctor there is no chaperone, and she does not have to disclose her sexuality.

This situation seems odd to me. I know that I wouldn't be comfortable with a male doctor doing my lady gardening, chaperone or no, just as I wouldn't be comfortable with a male midwife or obstetrician when giving birth but I wouldn't have a problem with a lesbian attending to me in this way. I guess for me its an issue of gender rather than sexuality. Anyway, I didn't tell the girl (the patient) I figured it was none of my business, but just wondered how you ladies would feel about it?

lazygal

I've had smears from a male GP. I also had male student doctors present during the birth of my child. A female GP happened to do a checkup 'down below' on me recently but if the male GP was the only one available I'd have gone to him.

I don't get what 'sexuality' has to do with it. Just because a female doctor is lesbian doesn't mean she can't act in a professional and competent manner in dealing with gynacological matters. Ditto for a male gay doctor when dealing with men's sexual health. Gay people don't get turned on just because a man or woman comes into the surgery.

Faith

It doesn't matter to me.

I go to a female GP and I do prefer discussing intimate things with a woman, but that's just because she's probably got personal experience of it. I wouldn't care if she were a lesbian. What if you were getting a brazilian wax from a lesbian? I'd never even stop to think about it.

I've had a smear and an operation on my cervix done by a man, and I've had my breasts examined and ultrasounded by men, and none of it bothered me. I don't know why you'd be uncomfortable giving birth with a male obstetrician? They've seen it ALL before, probably several times a day for their entire careers.

She doesn't have to have a chaperone with the male doctor. She has have the option of a chaperone if she so wishes. He also has to be afforded the same choice. This applies in all cases, whether the doctor is a man or a woman, gay or not.

I would prefer a female doctor to do my smear than a male doctor - regardless of their sexual orientation, but I've have my bits poked by both sexes so it's not a huge deal to me. It's not something to be sexualised imo. More that I feel a female doc would know a bit more about that general area - you know, cos she has one.

Das Kitty

Rosy Posy wrote: »

Sorry for the oblique title...wanted to hear some opinions on this scenario:

A friend of mine has a male GP but for her ladies issues ie smears etc, she chooses to go to a female GP in the same practice. Now I happen to know that the lady GP that she has been seeing is a lesbian. If it were a male GP, even a gay one, he would be required to have a female 'chaperone' in the room during the examination- as much to protect him from an allegation of misconduct as to protect/put the patient at ease. But when she sees the lady doctor there is no chaperone, and she does not have to disclose her sexuality.

This situation seems odd to me. I know that I wouldn't be comfortable with a male doctor doing my lady gardening, chaperone or no, just as I wouldn't be comfortable with a male midwife or obstetrician when giving birth but I wouldn't have a problem with a lesbian attending to me in this way. I guess for me its an issue of gender rather than sexuality. Anyway, I didn't tell the girl (the patient) I figured it was none of my business, but just wondered how you ladies would feel about it?

The bit in bold first... really? That's what I find odd. I'm a woman and I've always had male physicians. There's never been a chaperone. In fact I would find it more uncomfortable if I was discussing an issue with my GP that was private and he carted someone else into the room for an exam.

Personally I don't care if the person looking at my vagina in a professional context fancies women or not regardless of their gender. Knowing a few doctors and gynaes who are friends, it's just work to them.

Tipsygypsy

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest either way. My GP is female, but not for any reason other than I hear she was good when I moved to the area, and she is.
My previous gp was male. I've been to both male and femal Gynaes and OBs. I have not idea what any of their sexual orientation was. If they are good at their job then really thats all that matters to me.

xDramaxQueenx

I'd prefer to go to a male doctor as I find them a little more gentle. That said, it wouldn't matter to me if my doctor was gay/straight. I'm not so irresistable that they are hardly going to be able to contain themselves, in fairness. They're just doing their job.

Rosy Posy

Das Kitty wrote: »

The bit in bold first... really? That's what I find odd. I'm a woman and I've always had male physicians. There's never been a chaperone. In fact I would find it more uncomfortable if I was discussing an issue with my GP that was private and he carted someone else into the room for an exam.

Think this might be just the practice policy- I know that the male doctors there in any case have to be chaperoned- it covers them in case of an allegation.

xDramaxQueenx

Rosy Posy wrote: »

Think this might be just the practice policy- I know that the male doctors there in any case have to be chaperoned- it covers them in case of an allegation.

Same, in my limited experience the nurse has always been present.

Morag

My gp does my smear and she is always accompanied by the practice nurse.

It's definitely not a legal requirement. I've helped write a hospital policy on chaperones so I can say that with absolute certainty.

Had a female doc for mine no chaperone. Don't think having 2 people staring at me instead of 1 would make it easier but if you want one go for it
Might find it awkward with male doc just as I'm not used to it but would get over that, I'm sure, depends on the doc themselves

Couldn't care less if the female doc is a lesbian, they look at these all the time and I can't imagine they get off on it in such a clinical unattractive setting...

username123

I hate chaperones during smear tests!!! I just feel like theyre sitting there observing my bits like an audience for no reason at all!!!

Anyway, back on topic. Does the sexuality or indeed the gender of doctors bother me? Essentially, no. Although I have chosen female GPs all my life in terms of the medical professional that I see most often - but that is more for the reason that the woman might empathise more as she understands period pain (for example) because she has had experience of it. But Ive been in hospitals and been poked, prodded and had things inserted by plenty of male doctors and I couldnt care less.

On the sexuality issue, I dont assume male doctors fancy me, anymore than I assume female lesbian doctors would. Its not a sexual situation and even if the person in question thought I was hot stuff (chance would be a fine thing tbh), I would imagine they are capable of dealing with it professionally and not hitting on me.

I am sure throughout life, doctors, who are human like anyone else, come across patients they think are attractive, the key is not to act on it.

Rosy Posy

Faith wrote: »

I don't know why you'd be uncomfortable giving birth with a male obstetrician? They've seen it ALL before, probably several times a day for their entire careers.

I think it has more to do with me than them...I know they've seen it before but giving birth in particular is quite an intimate thing that you need to feel relaxed for...imho in any case. I was lucky enough to have my babies with just my oh and a midwife that I knew well and trusted.

I have a history of sexual assault by males and I'm pretty sure this is why I'm uncomfortable with being attended to by a male doctor in this way, I just wondered how others thought about it.

Das Kitty

Rosy Posy wrote: »

but giving birth in particular is quite an intimate thing that you need to feel relaxed for...imho in any case. I was lucky enough to have my babies with just my oh and a midwife that I knew well and trusted.

Giving birth for me was the furthest thing from intimate. I actually couldn't tell you how many people wandered in for a look or to prod me. By that stage I couldn't care less though, I'd been in for 2 days trying to get into established labour.

I would have loved what you had and it was the plan, but mini-bucko had his own ideas and made things complicated.

Rosy Posy

Das Kitty wrote: »

Giving birth for me was the furthest thing from intimate. I actually couldn't tell you how many people wandered in for a look or to prod me. By that stage I couldn't care less though, I'd been in for 2 days trying to get into established labour.

I would have loved what you had and it was the plan, but mini-bucko had his own ideas and made things complicated.

My midwife was amazing- at one point during my first birth someone tried to come into the room but she just got rid of them. We were lucky that she was so competent and had a good relationship with the hospital. And also that I wasn't giving birth in Ireland- I hear that there is a lot more prodding and staring in the process there.

Das Kitty

Rosy Posy wrote: »

My midwife was amazing- at one point during my first birth someone tried to come into the room but she just got rid of them. We were lucky that she was so competent and had a good relationship with the hospital. And also that I wasn't giving birth in Ireland- I hear that there is a lot more prodding and staring in the process there.

There's not really if your baby will play ball and come out as planned.

lazygal

Das Kitty wrote: »

There's not really if your baby will play ball and come out as planned.

Exactly. I had all my plans made for a natural vaginal birth with minimal drugs, let baby come as it wanted to and no unnecessary doctor intervention.


I ended up with a planned section, a lot of drugs and a five day hospital stay. With the best will in the world, childbirth doesn't always go to plan.

Ambersky

Ok here is a conversation I had with a female GP about wanting to change an appointment so that I would see a female gynecologist instead of the man she was originally going to send me to.
Me... I was a bit taken aback in your office earlier today and didnt react when you were making arrangements for me to see _________ . I actually know a gynecologist I would prefer to go to, can you make arrangements for me to see her instead.
GP.....Is this because he is a man?
Me ...Well yes actually. Im feeling a little fragile about all this and when you said in your office that the consultant may not allow me to put the speculum in myself like you did I thought I would be better off going to someone who I know to be understanding about that kind of thing.
GP....I would just like to tell you that he is a lovely man.
Me ...Oh I know! Im sure he is.
GP....(laughing) And like my dear old mother use to say, its more natural to have a man fiddling around down there, after all.

Pause

Me...Im a lesbian.
GP...Oh . It might not be more natural then.
Me...No not really.

I just think of this as a funny story because I am comfortable about my sexuality and the GP was just trying to put me at my ease as a woman.
But it is another example of hetero normalcy where a person is presumed heterosexual until proven or declared otherwise. I was already out and open about my sexuality with other members of the practice but coming out never seems to end.
The GPs basic premise wasnt too bad either but I have to say a lesbian can know a womans body pretty well :rolleyes: too. Really in all seriousness I think it is just down to the individual GP. They can be good or they can be awful at relaxing people or they can be just plain awkward.
I think the GP who had difficulty getting a smear test from me and hurt me in the process, was using a speculum that was too large for me and was designed, as my gynecologist later said, for women who had had children.
Apparently after you have had children the vaginal walls are looser and if the speculum is small the walls can fold around it. The small on hurts me less and the GP can still see and get a good test.
So peoples history can have a bearing on how a smear test is done but I dont think many GPs bother with that kind of detail and I think they should.
It is especially as has already been mentioned relevant for women who are sexual abuse survivors. Many women simply tighten up and find it very difficult to allow anyone to insert a speculum. Some women are too uncomfortable to allow a man to do it and some do feel comfortable with a male GP if they have a good relationship with him.
I was told by the consultant that she often gets women to put the speculum in themselves and that of course it help to relax the patient.
A key issue for survivors is control.
Rape is an experience of the loss of control over your own body. If smear tests are at all triggering taking control of the speculum is a very empowering thing to do.
Gps need to learn like everyone else and their training can be very, well, clinical.
At times I have been tired at the practice I now go to. Every time I have a smear test I have to explain that I am going to put the speculum in myself and yes I have done it before. ( its not difficult and a good exercise in getting to know your own body is to buy a plastic one from a chemist or online and experiment with it yourself)
Rather than going through all that again I am thinking of going to a lesbian GP I know, whom I have had these discussions with and who is supportive of these ideas.

Novella

I honestly don't care if the doctor is a man or a woman, I only really think of them in a professional context so for me, they're just a doctor. Male, female, gay, straight - never even crossed my mind before.

meeeeh

Couldn't care less. I prefer to deal with someone I like but even that is not essential.

As far as for giving birth I have no problem with whoever is present as long as they have some painkillers with them.

LeeHoffmann

sexuality wouldn´t matter but gender would for things like smear tests and childbirth. As another rape survivor, I reckon those kind of procedures could trigger a very negative experience for me if not handled correctly. I´ve never been sexually attacked or threatened by a woman so I´d feel more comfortable with a woman in those kind of situations

gara

I'm not sure how a GP's sexuality would impact on anything. It would make no difference to me if my GP is straight, gay or otherwise.

The Big Red Button

Novella wrote: »

I honestly don't care if the doctor is a man or a woman, I only really think of them in a professional context so for me, they're just a doctor. Male, female, gay, straight - never even crossed my mind before.

Yup that's how I feel.

Was actually at the doctors today, it was a new doctor who I'd never met before - and my first reaction when he walked in was that he was an absolute ride :cool: - but then my mind snapped back to seeing him as a medical professional, there to do his job, and I had no problem whatsoever sharing the lovely details of my periods and my IBS and whatever else with him.

I'd say doctors see it the same way. They're not eyeing you up like they'd see women on a night out - they see you as a patient, they are objectively analysing your symptoms. Of course you're still a person to them - but you're their work, you're just another case, another one of several they've seen already that day. I mean, the way I'd see it is that if a doctor can't separate it in their mind, if they can't assess patients independently and objectively - they simply wouldn't be able to last very long in the medical profession.

I know that I'm talking about gender above ... but it's the same for sexuality. I don't know or care if any doctor I've seen is gay or straight, they're there to do a job, not to check me out. I genuinely don't believe that they see patients in that way at all - so their gender/sexuality shouldn't matter.

And honestly, I doubt too many women look attractive sprawled on their back but dressed from the waist up, with their legs bent and spread, under those horrible harsh surgery lights, trying to keep up the awkward small talk while the nurse/doctor is trying to get a speculum in. It's just not a sexy environment, at all!

newmug

I am a man. Years ago, I had a mannish problem, so I rang the GP's to make an appointment. The receptionist said "Will Dr.X do?" I said yea grand, whatever. I assumed Dr.X was also a man.

I turned up on time and saw this fox of a woman Dr sexualising the place as she wafted around. Hmmm, nice I thought. Next thing she called out my name! So in I went, and I explained what was wrong, thinking she'd say "oh wait and I'll get a male dr". But no. She said she sees penises all the time. Somehow everything we both said was dripping with sexual innuendos! I had to drop the cax and let her fondle my manhood. My mind was going at 100 mph, I was trying to think of anything to stop myself getting a horn!

"Teapots teapots teapots teapots teapots teapots teapots teapots teapots teapots teapots teapots teapots teapots teapots teapots teapots teapots teapots teapots"

In the end, I kinda got a semi, but managed to stop it at that. I hope she thought that was my normal size at its most shriveled up!

So yes, I do care what gender / sexuality my GP is!

Lucyfur

My doctors sexuality is none of my business!!

All my smears have been done a female nurse. She is lovely and makes the whole experience as quick, discreet and painless as possible.

I have no problem seeing male doctors and have seen them for gynae purposes. As said already, it's their job!

Neyite

My first GP was a lesbian. Didnt bother me a bit.

I was examined internally during childbirth by the male gynae and the female midwife. He was gentler, and it didnt hurt as much as when she did one.

I have a male GP, but I do prefer to go to a female GP for smears. Usually done by the nurse anyway.

ETA: Wouldn't bother me if the nurse or GP was a lesbian, it's more the fact that they too go through these procedures, somehow I think they'd be more understanding.

Novella

Deleted User wrote: »

I have a male GP, but I do prefer to go to a female GP for smears. Usually done by the nurse anyway.

ETA: Wouldn't bother me if the nurse or GP was a lesbian, it's more the fact that they too go through these procedures, somehow I think they'd be more understanding.

See, I've never thought about it like that before. In my eyes, they are just a professional doing a job. If you had tonsilitis, would you prefer if the doctor had experienced that too or is it fine for them to treat that having had no personal experience of it? I'm not belittling your opinion by the way, if that's what makes you feel more comfortable, then sure, but does it apply across the board?

opinion guy

Speaking as a male with a female GP I have zero problem with going to her with any issues of the nether regions. Sexuality just doesn't enter into it. I like to go to this GP because she is a good listener and doesn't patronise me. The other female GP in the same practice is an absolutely bitch/wagon/condascending cow with zero listening skills, so if my normal GP is away I will choose to go to the gruff male GP who at least listens instead of the other woman.

But its nothing to do with gender or sexuality.

Jenneke87

No. As long as he/she is proffessional and kind,I don't mind as long as they get the job done.

username123

Novella wrote: »

See, I've never thought about it like that before. In my eyes, they are just a professional doing a job. If you had tonsilitis, would you prefer if the doctor had experienced that too or is it fine for them to treat that having had no personal experience of it? I'm not belittling your opinion by the way, if that's what makes you feel more comfortable, then sure, but does it apply across the board?

It does for me. My last GP suffered with sinus issues and I do too and I felt that she was much more helpful because she had personal experience of it - she had little personal tips. Obviously no GP is ever going to have personal experience of every illness, but certainly a female GP will have experience of most female related procedures and that can be comforting.

Novella

Novella wrote: »

See, I've never thought about it like that before. In my eyes, they are just a professional doing a job. If you had tonsilitis, would you prefer if the doctor had experienced that too or is it fine for them to treat that having had no personal experience of it? I'm not belittling your opinion by the way, if that's what makes you feel more comfortable, then sure, but does it apply across the board?

Guess my general complete mistrust of doctors would apply here but that's a long story so I'll try to leave it out :pac:

I have found that most doctors I have attended will say so when they encounter something that have no experience with. My last GP would ask me if I was comfortable with him to treat this or would I prefer someone with more experience. I would weigh it up and choose depending.

I wouldn't be against seeing a male doctor for gynaecological stuff, just would tend to choose a female if they're available.

Pembily

I've had smears done by both male and female. It doesn't bother me at all. I've only ever been to a male gyne!! My only preference is for someone who is good at their job...

Sex and their sexual orientation is irrelevant to me.

openup

No it wouldn't bother me in the slightest either as long as they were profesional and friendly. I do understand what some people are saying about women obviously having more experience with lady-issues but saying that I trained for a year to be a midwife (before dropping out) and I've never given birth, I didn't feel it was detrimental to me in anyway while on practice, if anything it helped! all the midwives who were mothers were always very cynical about, shall we say, "dramatic" mothers but I never felt in a position to judge.

UpCork

I've always had a male GP. Infact, up until the GP I'd had since I was born (and whom Mum attended when pregnant with me) the practice I attended only had one doctor, so I never had an experience with a female doctor.

At my new practice, there are three doctors, two male, one female and several nurses. I just happen to attend the male doctor as my main doctor, I've been to see the female doctor before but only becuase my main doctor was booked up etc. In relation to female problems, I have no qualms in talking to my own male doctor. He is such a lovely man I feel comfortable with him and whilst the female doc (his wife) is lovely, I don't have the same relationship with her as I've only ever seen her on and off over the years

Sexuality should have nothing to do with it - given that people should conduct themselves in a professional manner.

IvyTheTerrible

I don't mind who examines me, what their gender is or what their sexuality is, once they are professional and gentle with me.

I have a male gyny, and a female midwife, who both put me at my ease and are very gentle. When I went into the maternity clinic to give birth, one of the female midwives examined me, and MY GOD did she hurt me (and then dismissed my concerns about how much it hurt by laughing and saying "But you're going to give birth and you think THAT's sore!". Thankfully she had gone off her shift by the time I was actually in labour!). So really it's the person that is important.

eviltwin

It wouldn't bother me at all.

Rosy Posy

IvyTheTerrible wrote: »

When I went into the maternity clinic to give birth, one of the female midwives examined me, and MY GOD did she hurt me (and then dismissed my concerns about how much it hurt by laughing and saying "But you're going to give birth and you think THAT's sore!".

she'd want to work on her bedside manner!! always found that ie's were far more painful and traumatic than the actual process of giving birth when you've got all that adrenylin flowing.

Piste

It wouldn't bother me at all whether my Dr. was gay/straight/male/female, as long as they're good at what they do.

Ambersky wrote: »

...But it is another example of hetero normalcy where a person is presumed heterosexual until proven or declared otherwise.

Well given that 90% of patient she'd see would be straight it wasn't unreasonable of her to presume you were straight.

girlonfire

It really doesn't matter to me what sex my GP is. As other posters have said, as long as the doctor in question is professional and has a good bedside manner, that's fine with me.

beks101

Novella wrote: »

I honestly don't care if the doctor is a man or a woman, I only really think of them in a professional context so for me, they're just a doctor. Male, female, gay, straight - never even crossed my mind before.

+1.

I've recently had a few gynecological issues and believe me, when you're worried there's something amiss down there the sex/sexuality of your GP is the very least of your concerns.

Lying on a bed with your legs in stirrups while you're prodded by an instrument is probably the furthest thing from an erotic experience for all parties and something that every doctor/gyno deals with multiple times a day anyway.

IvyTheTerrible

Rosy Posy wrote: »

she'd want to work on her bedside manner!! always found that ie's were far more painful and traumatic than the actual process of giving birth when you've got all that adrenylin flowing.

I would have thought so too, if it had been my only ie. But my baby was overdue, so I had already had several ie's in the weeks leading up to that, and NOTHING came close to how painful that one was...

Morag

Piste wrote: »

Well given that 90% of patient she'd see would be straight it wasn't unreasonable of her to presume you were straight.

I don't think medical professionals should assume.