How to make a wedding "fun"?

Sleepy

Reading the "Stingy Wedding Presents & None at All" thread, a common complaint was raised by a few posters that "all Irish weddings are the same" and that they find such weddings boring. So, I thought I'd start a thread for us to share ways of helping our weddings avoid this problem (if it's even possible).

Given the difficulty and expense of doing something different we're having our ceremony and reception in a hotel. We'd originally wanted an Electric Picnic wedding but with tickets costing €230 before booking fee or anything else, we'd either need a budget that could stretch to about 23k just for the tickets or to ask our guests to buy their own which I couldn't countenance doing (never mind the fact that some of the Aunties and Grannies etc. wouldn't exactly enjoy it!).

An a acquaintance of mine managed to hold her wedding at an Irish festival but it involved a personal favour to her based on some family friendships and a serious amount of work from their bridal party, extended family and the couple themselves. All reports I've heard back from the wedding were incredible and I talked to her about copying elements of it but realised that the amount of work involved and favours she was able to pull in that I'd have to pay for would have cost me way more than we could afford.

So, for largely financial, but also some practical, reasons, we'll be having the "cookie-cutter" Irish wedding (less the church bit). We don't have a massive budget but are lucky to have some friends helping out (my brother's band are playing for us for both the ceremony and the reception). I've come across some great suggestions on this forum before for helping make the wedding fun, some of which I've shamelessly stolen and intend to use, anyone else like to share some of the things they're doing to add to the festivities without blowing the budget?

We're doing:

• Novelty table escorts that will involve a piece of trivia about someone else at your table to encourage guests to get to know each other. e.g. "someone at this table bought Mrs. Sleepy her first legal pint" etc.
• The Paddy Power Sweepstakes kits for the tables.
• A candy table full of sweets from our childhood.
• Clint Silver's suggestion of blow up guitars/saxophones etc. to be thrown out by the band once the music gets going

Diddler1977

How to make a wedding fun....

Don't have your guests hanging around when photos are being taken.
Have the church and hotel close so that your guests don't have to drive for miles.
Don't have speeches

Ballyman

Another idea is a PhotoBooth. It's starting to become a little more popular in Ireland (they are huge in the US) but the vast majority of people I meet when setting it up at weddings have never seen one before and love it.

It's even more hilarious the following day when they see all the photos again and as they can be uploaded to Facebook immediately on the night if required everyone is tagging each other and spreading them around and brides have told me that it's the most talked about thing after the wedding!!

You can click through the picture below to see a short slideshow on a nights pics from a recent wedding and if anyone would like more info on it then let me know.

pwurple

You are already on the right track with ceremony and reception in the same place.

Hungry people are grouchy people. Keep the small snacks, canapes, nibbles, whatever you want to call them, coming from the moment the ceremony ends until maybe an hour before the meal.

Reception can be loads of fun, but please stay well clear of making the ceremony hilarious. It's a serious undertaking to get married, and it needs some bit of formality at that point I think. I've been to a wedding where the bride and groom were laughing through their vows... and while it was probably nervousness, it did make it seem slightly like they weren't taking it seriously.

Party away afterwards.

Sleepy

Sorry, should probably have stated, I'm trying to think of slightly different, low cost options.

While the photobooth wouldn't be something I'd be dead-set against it'll still set a couple back a few hundred euro or so. Personally, I find the Irish dancers, singing waiters, magicians, chocolate fountains etc. all to be absolute wastes of money that have been done to death (true of the candy table too but other half is a giant child where sweeties are concerned and it's v. cheap to do if you've access to a cash-and-carry card).

If there are kids at the wedding, make up some kits for them. If they are the correct age, you can print out loads of booklets of colouring pages (wedding themed) and some coloured pencils. At my sister's wedding myself and my partner organised cameras for the kids as well! They were able to sneak through people in order to get great shots/camera angles

I like the trivia idea Sleepy! May yoink that.

We're doing a BBQ the day after but are making it clear to people that it's optional. I know some people hate the idea of a two day wedding so we're leaving it up to people whether they want to come along or not.

I think the whole way to make it fun is to think of your guests, and then fun will follow.

clint_silver

Yes: the blow up thingys! works every single time. get 2-3 blow up thingys per table. best 100e ever spent.

The photo booth thing works as well but see can they setup outside the main room or down the back. Ive been giggin with the photo booth setup beside the band and you literally have the power of 16 suns lighting up in the corner beside the band. (maybe Im over reacting on that one)

Heres a personal one: speeches as mentioned above. Ive done BM twice and did not enjoy the day at all as i was so nervous coming up to it, during the day and during the meal could hardly eat anything. Keep speeches down to minimum, tell the speakers no more then 5 minutes each tops (most will only be 40-60 seconds) and youre having the speeches beforehand. Watch the best mans shoulders drop and the smile come on as the weight comes off.

Flowers: Instead of giving flowers to mammies that cost you 150e and will sit in the corner and wilt for the night, give them gifts like tickets to a show or a health and beauty thingy or a balloon ride.

1 thing I seen that worked last couple of years was the singing waitor. Get him on google. Must admit, he's very, very good. comes on when the desserts are being eaten. (no affiliation other then he made me laugh and Ive seen him a couple of times). I should be able to get a number if anyone wants. pm me. edit: seen you updated on the waitor bit.

I seen a thing done one night, only ever once, a couple got cocktails named after them for the night (alo and non-alco). Had menus done out. Added a bit of craic at the bar. Can do what you want with that one.

Ive never seen Sky lanterns or Fireworks work. (well, they work, but dont IYKWIM).

Ballyman

Sleepy wrote: »

Sorry, should probably have stated, I'm trying to think of slightly different, low cost options.

While the photobooth wouldn't be something I'd be dead-set against it'll still set a couple back a few hundred euro or so.

Not necessarily. If I am already booked to do the wedding photography then it can be included as a complimentary add on for some wedding packages (yes, FREE!!!) or at a substantially reduced cost for others so it can be either at No or VERY LOW cost.

clint_silver

Ballyman wrote: »

Not necessarily. If I am already booked to do the wedding photography then it can be included as a complimentary add on for some wedding packages (yes, FREE!!!) or at a substantially reduced cost for others so it can be either at No or VERY LOW cost.

plus one. ask your photographer. When the photographer is there anyway for the entire day, ask him does he want a meal during the food (the guy has to eat anyway) and sort it out with the hotel manager to give him something.

...watch as he smiles and suggests do you want a free photo booth that evening. I know a guy who does this, Now thats service.

Sleepy

Dónal wrote: »

At my sister's wedding myself and my partner organised cameras for the kids as well! They were able to sneak through people in order to get great shots/camera angles

I like the trivia idea Sleepy! May yoink that.

I'll yoink the idea of giving the kids disposable cameras in exchange! That's kinda the idea of the thread: share ideas and improve all of our weddings

clint_silver wrote: »

Yes: the blow up thingys! works every single time. get 2-3 blow up thingys per table. best 100e ever spent.

I'm actually surprised it'll even cost that much but, since we're both into rock/metal, it's a given that it'll go down well at our wedding.

1 thing I seen that worked last couple of years was the singing waitor. Get him on google. Must admit, he's very, very good. comes on when the desserts are being eaten. (no affiliation other then he made me laugh and Ive seen him a couple of times). I should be able to get a number if anyone wants. pm me. edit: seen you updated on the waitor bit.

I've seen it done at a corporate event where it worked very well but I just can't help think of some of the awful "entertainment" that I've seen foisted on guests at weddings (usually I duck out for a smoke as soon as I see the Irish dancing costumes tbh). What sort of money is he charging do you know?

I seen a thing done one night, only ever once, a couple got cocktails named after them for the night (alo and non-alco). Had menus done out. Added a bit of craic at the bar. Can do what you want with that one.

Nice idea, may use that. I have a couple of cocktails recipes I was involved in creating so it could definitely work well for us, though I may need to negotiate a price as they'd cost a packet if guests were being charged by the shot!

Ballyman wrote: »

Not necessarily. If I am already booked to do the wedding photography then it can be included as a complimentary add on for some wedding packages (yes, FREE!!!) or at a substantially reduced cost for others so it can be either at No or VERY LOW cost.

I have to say, that's very reasonable. I'd promote the hell out of that if I were you!

marlie2005

blow up musically instruments were the star at our wedding. had absolutely everyone up dancing for the night.. pity i didn't buy more there was none to be found the next day for the kids , all the adults had taken them as a suvenior .
We also didn't have any speaches which went un noticed by many and a relief to other guests..

clint_silver

i was wondering where you could buy in bulk, quick google throw these up. 100e for 40 musical instruments. Thats pretty much all youll need.
http://www.musicalinflatables.com/catalog.html

Irish company, 10e delivery or pickup free in dublin.

youll need to rope the hotel staff in to blow them up after the meal. They will not thank you for it.

Sleepy

eBay has them from 80c a piece which lets you choose colours, styles of instrument etc. €100 notes for 40 seems a bit steep!

I'd imagined I'd have to get the groomsmen to do the inflating. Might just be easier to throw a few of the hotel staff a tip instead!

clint_silver

Sleepy wrote: »

eBay has them from 80c a piece which lets you choose colours, styles of instrument etc. €100 notes for 40 seems a bit steep!

I'd imagined I'd have to get the groomsmen to do the inflating. Might just be easier to throw a few of the hotel staff a tip instead!

blow up one and time it and do the maths. Then factor in a few pints and a 5 course meal to the equation.

Was at one last week, 6-7 staff blowing away for a good 15 minutes. visibly not happy at it.

Sleepy

Might invest in a cheap pump so!

sweetie

good food, before and after the meal aswell as the meal.
lots of free drink!
good band / dj
invite the people you want there and not who your parents want (not always easy!)
short and snappy speeches!
be relaxed and enjoy it yourself and the guests will have fun - dont try too hard!

Sleepy

Think we've most of that covered aside from the DJ... and I just PM'd you about that!

El_Dangeroso

Definitely food, you need to keep people fed. Nothing worse than being starving.

Keep 'the gap' to a minimum. I'm having my dinner very early to ensure this.

Sit people beside people they know. Or outgoing chatty people if they don't know anyone else there.

My venue decorator has been involved with thousands of weddings and I asked her what makes a good wedding, and she said 'one thing, atmosphere', I know harder to create than say but it does stop you stressing out about stupid things and enjoy the day!

Sleepy

I suppose that's what the thread is about: creating the atmosphere rather than the look.

I find that so much of the wedding magazines, sites and TV shows are people looking to get the aesthetics right. Trying to get those aesthetics right is, in my opinion, the reason so many people end up spending insane amounts of money (20/30k+) on their weddings. We don't have that to spend and tbh, if we did, I'd imagine we'd open the bar for a few hours and offer a third choice on the main before spending money matching the chair covers to the bridesmaids dresses, doing favors etc.

It seems to me that most of the good ideas for creating a party atmosphere aren't all that expensive or just involve a bit of effort in arranging the table plan etc.

El_Dangeroso

Sleepy wrote: »

I suppose that's what the thread is about: creating the atmosphere rather than the look.

I find that so much of the wedding magazines, sites and TV shows are people looking to get the aesthetics right. Trying to get those aesthetics right is, in my opinion, the reason so many people end up spending insane amounts of money (20/30k+) on their weddings. We don't have that to spend and tbh, if we did, I'd imagine we'd open the bar for a few hours and offer a third choice on the main before spending money matching the chair covers to the bridesmaids dresses, doing favors etc.

It seems to me that most of the good ideas for creating a party atmosphere aren't all that expensive or just involve a bit of effort in arranging the table plan etc.

Sometimes you can use 'the look' to contribute to the atmosphere but it's usually really cheap things like lots of candles.

sweetie

El_Dangeroso wrote: »

Definitely food, you need to keep people fed. Nothing worse than being starving.

Keep 'the gap' to a minimum. I'm having my dinner very early to ensure this.

Sit people beside people they know. Or outgoing chatty people if they don't know anyone else there.

My venue decorator has been involved with thousands of weddings and I asked her what makes a good wedding, and she said 'one thing, atmosphere', I know harder to create than say but it does stop you stressing out about stupid things and enjoy the day!

this ^ Ive had many a wedding where I was sat beside someone 'new' who I had no interest in and bored the face off me (and probably vice versa.) On a couple of occasions it has ruined the meal for me. If you invite a couple let them sit together and let the guests choose where to sit too.

TrixIrl

Ballyman wrote: »

Another idea is a PhotoBooth. It's starting to become a little more popular in Ireland (they are huge in the US) but the vast majority of people I meet when setting it up at weddings have never seen one before and love it.

It's even more hilarious the following day when they see all the photos again and as they can be uploaded to Facebook immediately on the night if required everyone is tagging each other and spreading them around and brides have told me that it's the most talked about thing after the wedding!!

You can click through the picture below to see a short slideshow on a nights pics from a recent wedding and if anyone would like more info on it then let me know.

Even better is a videobooth where they can record messages for you - lovely sweet messages at the start of the night and then bold drunken ones at 4am!

Also:
Chocolate Fountain
Candyfloss Machine
Scavanger Hunt
Magician/Novelty Act (Ive seen couples having 2 actors as a "rowing couple" - better fun than you'd think!)
Fancy/Period Dress?
Oscar-type awards for best dressed guest/worst influence/best help during the wedding/oldest"couple friend"

Sleepy

TrixIrl wrote: »

Even better is a videobooth where they can record messages for you - lovely sweet messages at the start of the night and then bold drunken ones at 4am!

Also:
Chocolate Fountain
Candyfloss Machine
Scavanger Hunt
Magician/Novelty Act (Ive seen couples having 2 actors as a "rowing couple" - better fun than you'd think!)
Fancy/Period Dress?
Oscar-type awards for best dressed guest/worst influence/best help during the wedding/oldest"couple friend"

It really is different things for different people isn't it? Pretty much all of those would make me cringe at a wedding!

El_Dangeroso

Yep, someone mentioned something a while ago about 'over-entertaining' guests, which can be a problem too.

pwurple

I was at a party where there was a sketch artist sitting in a corner doing a few pencil drawings of guests. He was really good (read flattering!)... and after pinning a few up, people realised what he was doing, and seemed to wander over to ask him to draw them. I'd say he did very quick pencil portraits of half the guests over the 2 hours he was there, just a few well placed lines each.

It might be suitable for a wedding because it didn't interrupt people chatting to eachother, it was easily ignored if it wasn't your thing, and the guests got a great kick out of showing them to others.

Cellygirl

Having just got married last year and having been to 23 weddings in the past four years I'll give you this one piece of advice.

Want your wedding to go with a swing? Then YOU get out there and enjoy it. NOTHING adds atmosphere to a wedding more than the bride and groom on the dance floor all night. Do your chatting during the day, shake the hands, kiss the babies. Once that first dance comes, enjoy yourselves. Stay on that dancefloor, dancing, laughing and enjoying yourself all night. This is your wedding party, do NOT spend it making small talk with aunts you see once every five years. Do NOT slink off and sit with a table of five mates that you sit with down the pub every Saturday night. Do NOT go off to the bridal suite for two hours and leave the guests to entertain themselves. Do NOT stand at the bar getting drunk. Get out there and dance. It's the cheapest, easiest thing you can do. My husband and I danced the feet off ourselves, moving from circle to circle all night, and we are no dancers. But it didn't matter because we were letting our hair down and dancing the night away. People still say it to us, they couldn't believe how much time they got to spend with us and how much we enjoyed ourselves and how much we danced.

Forget props and expense and forced fun - YOU get out there and dance with your guests and your wedding reception will have all the atmosphere it needs.

I can't tell you the amount of weddings I've been to where the dance floor has been empty, despite a decent band, because the bride and groom have effed off somewhere and made no effort to enjoy themselves. Don't make that mistake.

holding

Ah that's lovely advice

cailinoBAC

My photographer offered the photobooth thingy, but I dismissed it straight away. Was I too quick? Maybe it's just me, I don't really see what it would add at all.

clint_silver

cailinoBAC wrote: »

My photographer offered the photobooth thingy, but I dismissed it straight away. Was I too quick? Maybe it's just me, I don't really see what it would add at all.

It does work. I've never seen it not work. Not sure I'd pay too much for it but if your photographer is offering it at little or no cost I'd take them up on it.

Senna

A wedding i seen recently done a cheap photo-booth, just made it themselves and put a box of wigs, hats, beards, props beside it.

this will give you an idea



They just left the guests to take the pictures, it really worked well and got progressively more bizarre and funny as the night went on. Everything went on facebook so the bride got loads of pictures.

Balmed Out

The crowd more then the dj or band dictate whether itll be a hit or not. Agree with what Cessygirl said earlier about the couple dancing. If its a done thing in the area to invite people to the afters then thats handy as they arrive down with fresh legs and not overly stuffed from a lot of food and tend to get the dance floor filled quickly.

Personally hate blow up instruments think they look tacky but each to their own - I like the Irish dancing or whatever else routine during the bands break.

Recently had ice cream wafers outside the church which was great as I have a habit of black pudding for breakfast on the morning of a wedding. Great idea and probably costs a fifth of having a big ugly ice cream van outside.

Like going for a pint or two before the church when im close to the groom, especially if part of the briday party as it relaxes you a bit.

Make sure speeches are kept short and if the hotel alows it have them after second course before the main. Your not starved waiting for food and it gives some digestion time before the main course and bestman etc if nervous get it over and done with and can enjoy meal.

If its not a very big crowd try to have the stage set up beforehand so the break before the band start isnt very long.

If there are on site apartments let people know well before so they can share.

Try to let hotel know of vegetarians, coeliacs etc and include something for them in night food.

Dont dictate too much to the band / dj on the music front. Their professionals and should know more then you. I hate abba but unfortunately their will be those who would be disappointed if their not played.

Make sure theres some bit of correspondence among those who are doing speeches. Who thanks who, who toasts who. Some weddings you have 3 different people thanking the same people and several toasts.

Table centrepieces - avoid anything that will make it difficult for guests to see who is sitting across from from them.

Get your close mates to dance for first few songs. A dance floor that starts busy generally stays that way.

Spend your money on food, wine and plenty of champagne / cava / prosseco and the band.

lazygal

I was at a wedding with a photo booth and it was great craic. I'm not usually one for gimmicky things like that but the photographer was really up for it and we got some great pictures sent to us by the couple as a thank you.

annabella26

this is what i was gettin at on another thread to make a wedding different lol loving suggestions

antodeco

What we’re thinking of doing is having a few different bands, all rock style bands. One band comes on 7:30 (as evening guests arrive) – 9:30, then next band are on 10-12. DJ until 2am so lots of music and dancing. Good idea with the inflatables for the bands!

We are also doing a huge amount of food. As day guests arrive, they get canapés and sandwiches. Then two meals, One for the day guests (proper food) and in the evening we are putting on another meal, but more of a buffet. Then around midnight we are doing all the usual sausages, wedges etc. Typical soakage material.

The following day we are our doing a full Indian buffet in an Indian restaurant near our house. A good 80 – 90% of people live very close to it, so makes the most sense.

LadyMayBelle

Was at a wedding at the weekedn, a lovely one, and spotted a frame behind one of the bales of hay (twas a great country wedding!!). The bride told me that earlier in the day they had dropped the mirror that was in it, and didnt know where to put it so just shoved it behind the bales..

We pulled it out, and do you know it was the most craic, everyone ended up wanting photos of their heads stuck in the frame, with the bride and groom, without the bride, posing, the kids loved it doing 3D pictures....twas simple, effective, a talking point and got some great funny photos.

That was one of those old embellished gold frames, youd easily pick them up in a charity shop for a few quid.

MrsMcSteamy

Have to echo the point made about staying on the dancefloor. My brother got married a few weekends ago and one thing the band said to them was either one or both of Ye stay on the floor if Ye want the crowd on the floor. Why would your guests be bothered dancing if you aren't? The bride stayed on the floor most of the night and it never cleared off at all, great success.

Another thing the band done was having a few different type hats, policeman hard hat etc and the bride and groom were asked for names of a few lads who were characters who would take part. The band called them out, and they went behind a screen to get ready. Came back out with the hats and done YMCA, was brilliant. Anyone who had been sitting down got up to see what was going on and got in with the craic and stayed on the floor.

One thing about the candy table, we were worried that it was overkill, so many people had seen it. Well in fact when the guests arrived into the room the majority had never heard of them before and the sweets were mostly devoured before dinner. So just because you are planning your wedding and so many people have done it doesn't mean many of your guests have seen it before

seefin

lazygal wrote: »

I was at a wedding with a photo booth and it was great craic. I'm not usually one for gimmicky things like that but the photographer was really up for it and we got some great pictures sent to us by the couple as a thank you.

+1 to this. Was at wedding last month in cork that had photo booth - the photographer had props, wigs etc and was the best laugh ever. Even the oldies were dressing up!

pwurple

MrsMcSteamy wrote: »

Have to echo the point made about staying on the dancefloor. My brother got married a few weekends ago and one thing the band said to them was either one or both of Ye stay on the floor if Ye want the crowd on the floor. Why would your guests be bothered dancing if you aren't? The bride stayed on the floor most of the night and it never cleared off at all, great success.

I'm wondering why the success of a wedding is judged by the number of people on a dancefloor? I'm not into dancing much. I prefer chatting and having a laugh.

username123

I can think of plenty of things that make weddings go badly! So maybe Ill list some of them as ideas to avoid.

• Not enough food - most recent wedding I was at, very nouveau cuisine at the dinner so small portions and then not enough to go round later on and 50% of people didnt get anything.
  
• Hours and hours to kill between ceremony and dinner.
  
• Dancefloor and bar in different rooms is instant dancing death. The dancefloor will be dead and no amount of the bride or groom on it will help.
  
• Being seated with people you dont know or have nothing in common with. myself and hubby have no kids and dont want to have kids and were recently seated at a wedding with 4 other couples, 3 of which only wanted to talk about babies - super boring!
  
• That part where you sometimes get kicked out of the dinner room while the band/dj set up - if its any way long it can result in people getting tea and losing the buzz.
  
• Long speeches.
  
• A bad smoking area - the only example I personally experienced was Fallon and Byrne in Dublin, people had to go out on the street to smoke and a couple of older ladies were intimidated by roma, plus the trip up and down the stairs or waiting for the slow slow lift was bad. Sharing the loo's with the restaurant in there made it a bit public too.
  
• No consideration on food/drink. One wedding I went to had a drinks reception with hot punch or wine or tea/coffee. Nothing else and the hotel bar not open. Roughly every man there left to go to the pub down the road for a pint. The groom didnt drink and presumably never realised that some people dont like hot punch or wine.

Some of the best things Ive ever seen/experienced at weddings:

• A quiz on each table and each quiz questions answer was about the guests. So one question was "which couple eloped and told no one" and the answer was us! Or 'how many doctors at the wedding'? (there were loads!). It was good because it encouraged strangers to talk to each other and learn fun things about each other.
  
• Video booth/photo booth is fun.
  
• A relaxed atmosphere from the bridal party. Was at one where the bride periodically produced a spreadsheet printout to check that her bridezilla plans were going to schedule - talk about uptight! By contrast another one that year the bride and groom wandered chatting and were super chilled and it reflected in the guests being relaxed too.
  
• Disposable cameras left on each table for guests to take random pics.

I cant think of anything else right now, Ill come back if I do.

MrsMcSteamy

pwurple wrote: »

I'm wondering why the success of a wedding is judged by the number of people on a dancefloor? I'm not into dancing much. I prefer chatting and having a laugh.

I wouldn't say the success of a wedding depends on a full dancefloor but would you think an empty dance floor is better ? I just think it helps add to the atmosphere.

I am pie

Folks, need to pick up some party supplies, hats, masks, garlands etc in Dubli. Asap. Online delivery not an option. Where can I go? Have car, can drive to the best value supplier. Went to place nr stephens green, bit pricey!