Ridiculous Workplace Rules, Policies, Requests, PC, Initiatives, etc.

babymanval

Hi all,

Workplace policies/procedures/rules/directives from management etc. can often be ridiculous, counter-productively nonsensical at times. However I heard the most ridiculous one today. A friend of mine texted me at lunch to tell me about a farcical 30 minute meeting that she had to sit through:

She got an email requesting her to attend a meeting with her line manager this morning. It transpired that the purpose of this was to discuss any support that she may need for "any addictions that [she] might be suffering with"... The catalyst for this? Her manager had observed her taking three, rather than the recommended two tablets (for her Katie Taylor homecoming-inspired hangover). Furthermore, the manager observed that she had 2 packets of Solpadeine on her desk, "in full view". She came away from the meeting with some literature on addiction agencies, and a heartfelt reassurance that the management have a staunch policy of standing behind employees where they need support.

It got me to thinking; I've heard of some management requests/policies that would make you want to rip your hair out. They always put me in mind of the film "Office Space" (TPS reports etc). My experiences have been:

- A request that I wear black slacks, instead of the very (very, very, very) dark blue/navy ones I was wearing, in a telesales job, with zero contact with anyone, ever.
- The (quickly boycotted) organisation of separate male and female Xmas "parties", so "as not to encourage workplace romance/indiscretions leading to awkwardness/disruption in the team".

Anyone else?

MagicMarker

My employer doesn't allow fisting.

The Amazing Spiderman

babymanval wrote: »

Hi all,

Workplace policies/procedures/rules/directives from management etc. can often be ridiculous, counter-productively nonsensical at times. However I heard the most ridiculous one today. A friend of mine texted me at lunch to tell me about a farcical 30 minute meeting that she had to sit through:

She got an email requesting her to attend a meeting with her line manager this morning. It transpired that the purpose of this was to discuss any support that she may need for "any addictions that [she] might be suffering with"... The catalyst for this? Her manager had observed her taking three, rather than the recommended two tablets (for her Katie Taylor homecoming-inspired hangover). Furthermore, the manager observed that she had 2 packets of Solpadeine on her desk, "in full view". She came away from the meeting with some literature on addiction agencies, and a heartfelt reassurance that the management have a staunch policy of standing behind employees where they need support.



Anyone else?

Sure that sounds like a bit of an overreaction. But at least they mean well

Lyaiera

My employer prefers we only have a few drinks while working and keep the heavy drinking for when we've knocked off.

Millicent

So, your friend has a hangover on a workday, takes more than the prescribed dose of OTC medicine, and has two boxes of a highly addictive, tightly controlled and usually prescription-only codeine painkiller on her desk? I wonder why her boss might have thought she had difficulty with substance abuse problems. :eek:

Cassidy28

It seems fairly okay to me.

marshbaboon

I was brought into a managers office & told I "wasn't friendly enough & needed to spend more time talking to co-workers".

mauzo

marshbaboon wrote: »

I was brought into a managers office & told I "wasn't friendly enough & needed to spend more time talking to co-workers".

I was told that too, so I started screwing half the staff

Millicent

Millicent wrote: »

So, your friend has a hangover on a workday, takes more than the prescribed dose of OTC medicine, and has two boxes of a highly addictive, tightly controlled and usually prescription-only codeine painkiller on her desk? I wonder why her boss might have thought she had difficulty with substance abuse problems. :eek:

What's this now?

some random drunk

In my ex-girlfriend's office they were only permitted to drink bottles of water at their desks (including carbonated, flavoured water). She had a bottle of 7up one day and was given out to and warned not do it again.

Where To

I love my boss, he's the bestest boss in the world ever, very handsome also.

Millicent

marshbaboon wrote: »

I was brought into a managers office & told I "wasn't friendly enough & needed to spend more time talking to co-workers".

syndeyfife wrote: »

I was told that too, so I started screwing half the staff

I got told I was talking too much to customers. In a retail job. Because I was making chit chat while scanning through shopping. How the fuck is that a bad thing?

1ZRed

syndeyfife wrote: »

I was told that too, so I started screwing half the staff

Yeah like you needed a reason :rolleyes:

Lyaiera

Deleted User wrote: »

What's this now?

It's no longer over the counter. I think the pharmacists have a little leeway over handing it out though.

Millicent

Deleted User wrote: »

What's this now?

Solpadeine is ridiculously hard to get now. Same rules as that for Nurofen Plus cos of the codeine in it.

Cassidy28

syndeyfife wrote: »

I was told that too, so I started screwing half the staff

Where they any good?

brummytom

I had to do some training at work last week, Health & Safety and some Fire Safety thing.

Supervisor told me, 'They're multiple choice so it doesn't matter if you get them wrong, press back and click another one until you get it right'.


Really useful training there.

Then yesterday I had to see the manager for an 'appraisal'. I'd never done one before so I said 'ok, do I just answer a few questions?'. He said, 'no, I've done that for you. Just sign here, here and on the next page. Bye'.

mauzo

Cassidy28 wrote: »

syndeyfife wrote: »

I was told that too, so I started screwing half the staff

Where they any good?

Not really, ended up going out with my supervisor until I left

cashback

My manager told me once that she didn't hear enough of a 'smile in my voice', when talking to customers on the phone.

Matt_Trakker

Was told I had to improve my handwriting for the menu board, I told him if that's all he had to complain about his restaurant was doing just grand. Shut him up so it did.

LenaClaire

One of my first jobs we were only allowed to go to the toilets at 10:15 or 3:15 and we weren't allowed to talk to each other except during lunch which was from 12 - 12:45.

At the end of the day we had to turn off our computers at 4:50 and count the orders we had entered and give the manager a hand written note with our count. We then had to sit silently at our desks until 5.

I quit after 3 weeks.

RayCon

We we're sent on a 2 day Diversity training program. It was taught by 2 American black guys. At the end of day 1, as our "homework", we were asked to look for examples of discrimination (on TV that night, out socialising - wherever) and report back the next day.

That night I noticed the MOBO awards on TV and thought "good example".

I mentioned it as my example the next day and they hadn't heard of the ceremony. So I went on to explain what it was etc. They absolutely refused to accept it as a valid example of discrimination. I tried to argue the point but they told me they had heard enough and moved on.

zcorpian88

cashback wrote: »

My manager told me once that she didn't hear enough of a 'smile in my voice', when talking to customers on the phone.

"Hear enough of a smile" wtf does that mean? Unusual way of putting it. She could have just said more enthusiasm in the voice. But really I wouldn't care as long as the service was nice and helpful

Supraman

When working in retail , I was once told I spent too much time talking to customers by a regional manager . Bizarre as store manager always asked me to spend as much time as possible with customers . Zara (clothing store) the wonderful pursuant of this policy .

Lyaiera

Lyaiera wrote: »

It's no longer over the counter. I think the pharmacists have a little leeway over handing it out though.

Yeah, so it's a P medication like in the uk. Thought Ireland had gone crazy and made it prescription only.

Wompa1

Worked in a place where I had to go to a customer service training day complete with walking around shaking hands while making eye contact with one another and drawing a picture of examples of good customer service....

In my current place of work no cursing, casual Friday means less formal rather than casual, you are required to do things for your community and it's included in your yearly review. Oh we have TPS reports and as of tomorrow I will have 9 bosses. I beat him by 1!! woooo!

Also worked in a place where we were told not to take things back that were damaged by the person, they'd always demand to see a manager who would give them what they want and make the staff look and feel like crap

Returns policy was to allow returns if in good quality, even if they didn't have a receipt. Queue 'people' taking things off the shelves, bringing them to the counter and getting store credit

Shryke

Having to wear black slacks as and black shoes was one. I won't go into detail but completely unnecessary.

I swear to God this is true, slashing everyone's hours with the idea that putting people on the bread line would encourage harder work.

Was asked to sign a dodgy backdated contract.

Not being given payslips for weeks and then being given them all at once. The excuse was that they hadn't come down from head office yet.

Reducing staff and hours while expecting twice the workload to be completed. Vague threats of getting other people to do the job if you can't. Being called up to the office and given out to for this type of stuff.

Some people being sent on the same training course more than once while others not at all. If you weren't sent on the course you were probably going to be let go once your contract was up.

Staff were given warnings if they didn't perform well in the mystery shopper. Anyone familiar with retail will know what this is.

Management were encouraged to stab each other in the back to get ahead. The place bred incompetence.

Bringing people in for 4 hour shifts (part of the hour cutting) and expecting miracles.

No training given to new staff or new management. Just told to go to work.

Giving out to night pack staff for not doing enough even though everyone was flat out all night trying to get everything absolutely perfect.

^All the same place. I no longer work there. I have never encountered such incompetence, ignorance and malicious intent before or since.
It's worth pointing out the insane pressure that management would inflict on regular employees. You would think it was Wall Street with millions on the line. Just awful treatment of everyone. It would have been an alright place if not for that.

supernature

We've just been issued with a dress code banning all sorts of things including ties with sports team logos on them and flip flops. Two things I don't own and had no desire to wear until this message.

Oh and 'short' mini skirts are banned too, so that makes long mini skirts okay?

eth0

If someone wants to order something like a pack of surface mount resistors no matter how cheap it is for bureaucratic reasons a letter has to be printed and sent off to where ever the company is based. If you want something fast you have to hassle the department that does this to also send an email. The letter then mentions the email and that it isn't a duplicate purchase order.

This is the kind of carry on your household charge (if you were stupid enough to pay it) and your new increased college fees are being used for

RaRaRasputin

Office administrators...in my previous job we had a crazy one.
She'd ring maintenance to get them to open a window for her when she had put barred her way to it with boxes, chairs and other stuff.

Confidential waste to be shredded was supposed to be alphabetically sorted of course.

eth0

Wompa1 wrote: »

Oh we have TPS reports and as of tomorrow I will have 9 bosses. I beat him by 1!! woooo!

What exactly does a TPS report contain?

mikemac1

The wimmins in the office, I don't understand them

Office is melting hot, the lads almost passing out from the heat. Ok, exaggeration but it's hot, hot, hot

And the wimmins just complaining about the cold. Why?? Sitting there with their jumpers and shivering and wrecking the facilities mans head with complaints and requests and whining

Woe betide you if you open a window, you'll be told it's too cold

If they are hot they can take off their jumper

What do they expect the lads to do? Strip off their shirts? Can't obviously so I'll sweat here

Checked the office temperature, 27 degrees, ridiculous!

RaRaRasputin

Yeah Nodin, can't believe you thought that made you look "cool"

Wompa1

eth0 wrote: »

What exactly does a TPS report contain?

Here it's productivity reports..no very exciting

Teyla Emmagan

My friend worked in a mad place a while back. An insurance office of sorts. Family run firm, the boss' wife was a loon who came round headwrecking them with the following policies:

• Everyone (EVERYONE) must use the hand sanitiser at all times when passing the front desk
• Everyone had their own locker and wasn't allowed keep any personal items (i.e. their phone/handbag) at their desk (this is a totally normal office not a factory etc)
• There was to be absolute separation of food items in the fridge to such an extent that she had labelled the drawers with stuff like 'dairy', 'bread products'.
• Tuna was on the list of 'banned lunch foods' because it was too smelly

And so on. About 40 people working there putting up with this crap. With the poor receptionist on the front desk being asked to supply a daily list of people who didn't comply with the hand sanitiser rule.

Nodin

RaRaRasputin wrote: »

Yeah Nodin, can't believe you thought that made you look "cool"

I could be less than pleasant when annoyed. Though in my defence, the vast vast majority of complaints made about me over the years were by management, not by fellow staff.

MadsL

My wife just had to take a 3 day introductory workshop on a subject she has been teaching and professionally consulting on for the last 15 years. Policy.

Teyla Emmagan

mikemac1 wrote: »

The wimmins in the office, I don't understand them

Office is melting hot, the lads almost passing out from the heat. Ok, exaggeration but it's hot, hot, hot

And the wimmins just complaining about the cold. Why?? Sitting there with their jumpers and shivering and wrecking the facilities mans head with complaints and requests and whining

Woe betide you if you open a window, you'll be told it's too cold

If there are hot they can take off their jumper

What do they expect the lads to do? Strip off their shirts? Can't obviously so I'll sweat here

Checked the office temperature, 27 degrees, ridiculous!

That would kill me, I sit beside a window I would have open in December if I could get away with it. You should instate a rule that they all have to do 20 jumping jacks at their desks every 5 minutes, that'll sort them out.

Ludo

We got an email instructing everyone to sit down when using the toilet at all times. they even went so far as to put little diagrams up in the cubicles showing a person taaking a leak standing up with a big red X over it

mikemac1

Boss is an environmental fanatic

Always droning on about carbon footprint and paperless office and recycling

Except he has a parking space, these are rare so he's one of the few who drives to work

I cycle farther then he drives to work

Hardly anyone has a space, the rest of us luas, Dart, bus, walk, whatever

Yet he lectures the rest of us on environmental stuff

RaRaRasputin

Nodin wrote: »

I could be less than pleasant when annoyed. Though in my defence, the vast vast majority of complaints made about me over the years were by management, not by fellow staff.

Why that? Spending too much time on boards?

Colmustard

My employer insists I work. he knows i don't like that.

mathepac

Millicent wrote: »

.... Same rules as that for Nurofen cos of the codeine in it.

NO NO NO NO NO! For 900,000th time the same rules apply to Solpadeine and Neurofen Plus, which contains different ingredients to Neurofen.

There was a thread that ran for millenia and had innumerable posts that still had misleading post like yours towards the end.

Notorious97

Ive a lot of the ones mentioned already, stupid rules thought up by stupid people. Majority of our managers are idiots, their buddy is the top dog and she keeps her mates around her, I dont mind female management at all, one of the best in there is a woman, but the other female managers are driving the whole floor in our office mad.

They have even went as far as putting up signs which include directions on how to wash our hands after using the bathroom, and for how long. They recommend we sing in our heads the happy birthday song, idiots. If you dont know how to wash your hands by our age God help you.

The hot days no cold air on rule kills me in there, its like a sweat shop.

Mocha Joe

Ludo wrote: »

We got an email instructing everyone to sit down when using the toilet at all times. they even went so far as to put little diagrams up in the cubicles showing a person taaking a leak standing up with a big red X over it

Toilet in our place has this sign up.

If you clean the toilet seat after yourself, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.

Nodin

RaRaRasputin wrote: »

Why that? Spending too much time on boards?

Refusal to take it lying down usually, combined with no regard for rank and a burning contempt for lickarses, bullies and incompetence. Wrong company to work for with my attitude really, but when I got the job there was few going, so it was a question of hang on to what you had.

LoYL

babymanval wrote: »

Hi all,

Workplace policies/procedures/rules/directives from management etc. can often be ridiculous, counter-productively nonsensical at times. However I heard the most ridiculous one today. A friend of mine texted me at lunch to tell me about a farcical 30 minute meeting that she had to sit through:

She got an email requesting her to attend a meeting with her line manager this morning. It transpired that the purpose of this was to discuss any support that she may need for "any addictions that [she] might be suffering with"... The catalyst for this? Her manager had observed her taking three, rather than the recommended two tablets (for her Katie Taylor homecoming-inspired hangover). Furthermore, the manager observed that she had 2 packets of Solpadeine on her desk, "in full view". She came away from the meeting with some literature on addiction agencies, and a heartfelt reassurance that the management have a staunch policy of standing behind employees where they need support.

It got me to thinking; I've heard of some management requests/policies that would make you want to rip your hair out. They always put me in mind of the film "Office Space" (TPS reports etc). My experiences have been:

- A request that I wear black slacks, instead of the very (very, very, very) dark blue/navy ones I was wearing, in a telesales job, with zero contact with anyone, ever.
- The (quickly boycotted) organisation of separate male and female Xmas "parties", so "as not to encourage workplace romance/indiscretions leading to awkwardness/disruption in the team".

Anyone else?

Superb by management. They note employee with hangover who gives them the opening with the solpadeine. 30 minutes showing how proactive they are in their caring approach but the real message is: unless you want more of the TLC smarten up! Ya gotta love it.

Millicent

mathepac wrote: »

NO NO NO NO NO! For 900,000th time the same rules apply to Solpadeine and Neurofen Plus, which contains different ingredients to Neurofen.

There was a thread that ran for millenia and had innumerable posts that still had misleading post like yours towards the end.

Alright, calm down. Someone not have their Nurofen Plus? :pac:

I shall edit it now.

Nodin

...there are jobs that should have free opiates as part of the pay....

mikemac1

RaRaRasputin wrote: »

Yeah Nodin, can't believe you thought that made you look "cool"

What post are you replying to?

Nodin

mikemac1 wrote: »

What post are you replying to?

I binned it, as it breached my anti-anecdote policy. Suffice to say that it involved a less than tolerant response to a request to change the a/c to a swamp like temperature.