Squeak in the room

blackdog2

No, its not a sequel to the bestselling sh1te in the bucket

I am lying in bed minding my own business, working on a report, when from nearby I hear faint but distinct squeaks. 5 in quick succession, followed by another group. The cat has spent the last 10 hours sleeping in here, they started as soon as she left.

Any ideas on what it could be? Please tell me there is a harmless insect that squeaks in Ireland? I lived abroad before, we used to get these dainty little lizards that kept insects away. Great bunch of lads altogether, they would be welcome as well.

Over the last few days the house has been raided, first by moths, then by spiders whom I can only assume followed them in. A senate of rats would drive me around the bend altogether!

El Guapo!

Mouse orgy

chrismon

Time to lube up

blackdog2

Dean09 wrote: »

Mouse orgy

I always said I want to try everything once before I die, although this isn't something I had prepared for.

El Guapo!

blackdog2 wrote: »

I always said I want to try everything once before I die, although this isn't something I had prepared for.

You don't need to prepare. Just stick on some funky music, make sure your 'tash is combed and dive on in.

vicwatson

It's RATS !!!!!!!! Arrrggghhh,

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy

Sounds like you should move house.

DEFTLEFTHAND

Ghost infestation obviously, put the house on the market and stay stum to the estate agent.

fryup

its either mice or shrews

blackdog2

Hmm, I swear on my tache that these infestations are down to luck, come winter they should have frozen. The cat is back anyhow, so all messing seems to have stopped

BUBBLE WRAP

OP its house aids, definitely house aids...

h2005

It`s the cat. She`s cracking up laughing at you outside the door

marshbaboon

It's probably rats, rats covered in spiders.

blackdog2

h2005 wrote: »

It`s the cat. She`s cracking up laughing at you outside the door

probably, although as I pointed out she has returned from her travels

Naomi00

You've got rats OP. http://www.flickr.com/photos/48627305@N00/2065320957

cocoshovel

Giant squeeking tarantulas, with those huge arses that exploded millions of spiders all of your bed and in your mouth. Sorry op, you're going to have to burn the house.

jimbobaloobob

Naomi00 wrote: »

You've got rats OP. http://www.flickr.com/photos/48627305@N00/2065320957

The bringer of good news Naomi

policarp

Get a shotgun and every time you hear a squeak, fire at that location.
Soon after, you won't hear squeaks but you will have tinitis and a squeak free house. . .

iCosmopolis

Have you recently bought a pet hamster? I bought a hamster once, 5 days later I had seven hamsters. Adults are silent, the baby ones squeek. It's a longshot.
Bit early for mice in houses I would have thought.?

dark crystal

Bring the cat back in - she'll sort the rodents out for you.

iCosmopolis

cocoshovel wrote: »

Giant squeeking tarantulas, with those huge arses that exploded millions of spiders all of your bed and in your mouth. Sorry op, you're going to have to burn the house.

Feckin HATE when that happens.

dodderangler

Does the squeak sound like this
'gigity gigity gigity squeak'
If so its glen quagmire rat hidin in the wardrobe

blackdog2

Had a chat with the cat. No exploding arsed ratspiders around, I don't have a wardrobe but there is a good chance of there being quagmire headed rats around... Imagine the mess!

Where To

There's a bat under your duvet somewhere.

BluesBerry

Yes you have rats

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AsITgqGQgj4

blackdog2

BluesBerry wrote: »

Yes you have rats

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AsITgqGQgj4

That reminds me of Japan.

Nothing manifested itself, although I did catch a mosquito - I thought they didn't exist in Ireland?!

BUBBLE WRAP

OP is this you?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q8b9PEuUP7A

blackdog2

BUBBLE WRAP wrote: »

OP is this you?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q8b9PEuUP7A

If I could find the baxtards I would happily charge rent/exploit their beloved

Shryke

It's probably mice, not rats. Mice aren't so bad. You probably wouldn't hear a rat before it started wiggling down your throat while you slept.

marshbaboon

Just so you know, these rats are already breeding...

... Every time you fall asleep they crawl on your face and take turns to get sick in your mouth...

Just saying...

mattjack

Shryke wrote: »

It's probably mice, not rats. Mice aren't so bad. You probably wouldn't hear a rat before it started wiggling down your throat while you slept.

Though some rats nowadays will eat their way into your throat , rather than use your mouth......just sayin'

Alice1

Them's meeses Blackdog - meeses squeak - rats don't an' furthermore, if you hears squeaks you is hearring liddle baby meeses. You need to have a serious talk to that miaow cos it is not doing what miaows should - being get rid of the meeses.

antodeco

'working on a report' aka fapping. It's just your bed from your 'study'. Any grunting?

Doom

Loose sphincher.....;)

LETHAL LADY

squeak.png

Poor old abandoned Wheezy.

blackdog2

Alice1 wrote: »

Them's meeses Blackdog - meeses squeak - rats don't an' furthermore, if you hears squeaks you is hearring liddle baby meeses. You need to have a serious talk to that miaow cos it is not doing what miaows should - being get rid of the meeses.

Chatted with miaow, told her that unless she sorts out the mouse problem (meeses you say? is that the plural of moose? SH!T JUST GOT REAL if so) she will be getting her p45

Also, wasn't a fap to be had last night, too worried about all these critters... I don't know how I would milk one out with a gaggle of meese joining the moths, spiders and mice!

Wise Old Elf

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3UavD2oNkg

Mice humping in the walls?

Xivilai

Have a nice read of "Rats in the wall" by H.P Lovecraft, that might help you sleep.

mud

I had meeses and mices last year worst couple of weeks ever. Had to poison 'em for a finish. Got a guy in to fill all the holes with expanding foam but now there's a mouse in the cavity of the wall. It can't get into the house itself but spends its nights running around the inside of the wall.

Had to put poison boxes down outside in the garage where they're coming in and hope for the best. Feels bad though.

blackdog2

mud wrote: »

I had meeses and mices last year worst couple of weeks ever. Had to poison 'em for a finish. Got a guy in to fill all the holes with expanding foam but now there's a mouse in the cavity of the wall. It can't get into the house itself but spends its nights running around the inside of the wall.

Had to put poison boxes down outside in the garage where they're coming in and hope for the best. Feels bad though.

You filled its holes last year and it is still alive?! Good grief!

I had a chat with chairman meow, she is on high alert now. I have a good feeling about tonight!

mud

blackdog2 wrote: »

You filled its holes last year and it is still alive?! Good grief!

I had a chat with chairman meow, she is on high alert now. I have a good feeling about tonight!

Ha ha no, I live in a crumbly old cottage and the meeses and mices are able to get from the garage into the wall cavity but no further due to the filled holes

Hope Chairman Meow is hungry! Best of luck it's a terror having mice (although preferable to rats!) The squeaks and scuffling noises are horrible.

blackdog2

Squeaks back y'all:(

dodderangler

blackdog2 wrote: »

Squeaks back y'all:(

Gigity gigity gigity squeak

Quagmire rats are back dude

mud

Yikes. Chairman Meow needs a stern talking to!

Alice1

blackdog2 wrote: »

Squeaks back y'all:(

Ah for goodness sake, would you stop feeding the miaow - if she was hungry she'd catch them there meeses. She has life too good to hunt for her supper. And you do know that the meeses are sniggering at her don't you?

cloptrop

Cut off their tales with a carving knife

MrJoeSoap

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e5AYjA7wVuo

blackdog2

Alice1 wrote: »

Ah for goodness sake, would you stop feeding the miaow - if she was hungry she'd catch them there meeses. She has life too good to hunt for her supper. And you do know that the meeses are sniggering at her don't you?

Nice and all as she is, there is no guarantee that she won't develop a taste for me, and I am far more accessible to her than the quagmice in the walls.

Alice1

blackdog2 wrote: »

Nice and all as she is, there is no guarantee that she won't develop a taste for me, and I am far more accessible to her than the quagmice in the walls.

Mmm, how to put this delicately - don't want to cause any offence now, however, if the miaow starts eatin' you she ain't a miaow at all - she is a rat masquerading as a miaow. Real miaows don't eat humans.


I'd be getting a bit worried around now if I were you...

blackdog2

Alice1 wrote: »

Mmm, how to put this delicately - don't want to cause any offence now, however, if the miaow starts eatin' you she ain't a miaow at all - she is a rat masquerading as a miaow. Real miaows don't eat humans.


I'd be getting a bit worried around now if I were you...

I am leaving the generalissimiao in charge of the house for 2 nights. There will be daily inspections by a friend, hopefully his unblinkered view will enable us to come to a conclusion that she is indeed a miaow. Should she be a rat.... she may well find herself signing on next week(provided she has paid her taxes - rats are nowhere near as diligent as miaows for this)

TheGimp

Bats in the attic.