I'm in hospital......

frag420

So I have what is known as Orgasmic coital crohalgia!!

I need a spinal tap in the morning and an MRI!!

Some words of comfort please!! And yes, the pain does go up to eleven!!

frAG

biko

Well, at least it's not Lupus

Mr Benevolent

biko wrote: »

Well, at least it's not Lupus

Or gangrene of the knob.

As for treatment, a doctor may recommend reducing heavy sexual activity and masturbation for a short period of time ranging from a few days to a few weeks.

You're fucked... no, wait.

KeithM89_old

*googles orgasmic coital crohalgia*


...

...


Wanker.

mauzo

No more sex?

kfallon

frag420 wrote: »

So I have what is known as Orgasmic coital crohalgia!!

I need a spinal tap in the morning and an MRI!!

Some words of comfort please!! And yes, the pain does go up to eleven!!

frAG

At least I don't have it so every cloud......

ItAintMeBabe

Thinly veiled "I just had sex" thread

Mint Sauce

ItAintMeBabe wrote: »

Thinly veiled "I just had sex" thread

More likely having fun on Wiki.

Sky King

Have a tug, it will put you to sleep

westendgirlie

Is that another way of saying "I sprained my wrist tossing off"

Colmustard

Ahhh Pur Purr Thing all sicky poohs

Boo Hooo Hoooo

So sorry to see a fellow boardie stricken with a sexual disease

I shake my fists in the air and scream God Whyyyyyyyyyyyy.

mauzo

westendgirlie wrote: »

Is that another way of saying "I sprained my wrist tossing off"

He sprained his head tossing off!

SocSocPol

Listen ya wanker, we couldn't give a toss!:D

And now you can't give a toss either!

mauzo

mikemac1

*googles*

Reduction in weight to a more ideal level and increased exercise may also reduce the likelihood of recurrences.

Who ate all the pies OP? :pac:

JupiterKid

OP - would you like a cyanide pill to put you out of your post-coital misery?

westendgirlie

syndeyfife wrote: »

He sprained his head tossing off!

Do you think they will put his ribs back whilst he's in hospital?

antodeco

Doctor doctor, every time I masturbate I get a severe headache.
- Makes a difference from the wife's headache that causes you to masturbate

mauzo

westendgirlie wrote: »

Do you think they will put his ribs back whilst he's in hospital?

It will take 24 hours to get them back

MagicMarker

biko wrote: »

Well, at least it's not Lupus

It's never lupus.

BlueSmoker

Best of luck tomorrow, I be thinking of you.:) On a side note what's the food like?

Nodin

frag420 wrote: »

.....

Some words of comfort please!! .....

Don't worry, nearly all over now.

BillyMitchel

Try get stuck into one of the nurses, she'll be thinking you have some crazy ass orgasms and she'll be thinking you can do the same for her. Either that or she'll think you're one hell compulsive wire puller.

Pantsface

MagicMarker wrote: »

It's never lupus.

a small ex big brother contestant died of that last year i think :eek:

Vicar in a tutu

Good oul Palmela Handerson

Plazaman

I was going to suggest you ask a good looking Nurse for a sponge bath but with all that **** you're at, I'm afraid your penis may fall off at next erection. Just watch Cornation Street and drink Lucozade.

annascott

Discharge yourself before the spinal tap! It is one of the most painful procedures ever :eek:

FanadMan

Enjoy the spinal tap - they're fun.......not! Had a few done - worst bit is when the needle is going in, but once it's in, it's not so bad. And mri scans are a piece of piss, just close your eyes and relax.

Best of luck with it all.

kfallon

annascott wrote: »

Discharge yourself before the spinal tap! It is one of the most painful procedures ever :eek:

Discharging is what got him into hospital in the first place :pac:

Riddle101

Just be happy you don't suffer from spontaneous human combustion OP. That would be even worse for you.

PickledLime

Well i hope there's no young fella in there with a smashed up face looking for his machete

Vicar in a tutu

I just googled this!, If you had of stopped pulling at yourself for 5 minutes this would of never happened:mad::mad::mad:

Dazza

At least you dont have bronchitis. Ain't nobody got time for that!!

crosstownk

Jebus, that's a headache and a half.

Matt_Trakker

unlucky

Treatment

As for treatment, a doctor may recommend reducing heavy sexual activity and masturbation for a short period of time ranging from a few days to a few weeks. In addition, doctors may recommend medications such as Propranolol that can be taken in advance of sexual activity to prevent such headaches. Reduction in weight to a more ideal level and increased exercise may also reduce the likelihood of recurrences. A doctor may wish to order a CT scan to exclude intracranial bleeding or a mass lesion as a cause for this pain, however in the absence of other symptoms this may not be routine. Indomethacin has also been tried.[2]

no sex, no fapping and you've to go on a diet. Sure ya'll be grand, bad luck comes in trees so when ya get out 2moro buy a lotto ticket and you're luck might change. But if you do win don't pig out on loads of food and drink and hoores

Boscoirl

MagicMarker wrote: »

It's never lupus.

JustAThought

OMG!
Poor you !!!

& just what is that!!?
I'm
Afraid to google it after what everyone has written in case I get cookies for VD clinics popping up for the rest of my life.

MRI will be fun : like being inside a film
Set only with funky headphones!

Let's hope they give you lots if happy drugs for the other ... Dont mind the discharge people!!!!

Jokes.com
Might help!
Or the Darwin awards site : )
Or dilbert!!!

Good luck tomorrow : ) you'll be fine : )

Shryke

Matt_Trakker wrote: »

unlucky

Treatment

As for treatment, a doctor may recommend reducing heavy sexual activity and masturbation for a short period of time ranging from a few days to a few weeks. In addition, doctors may recommend medications such as Propranolol that can be taken in advance of sexual activity to prevent such headaches. Reduction in weight to a more ideal level and increased exercise may also reduce the likelihood of recurrences. A doctor may wish to order a CT scan to exclude intracranial bleeding or a mass lesion as a cause for this pain, however in the absence of other symptoms this may not be routine. Indomethacin has also been tried.[2]

no sex, no fapping and you've to go on a diet. Sure ya'll be grand, bad luck comes in trees so when ya get out 2moro buy a lotto ticket and you're luck might change. But if you do win don't pig out on loads of food and drink and hoores

A convoluted way of calling the OP a fat wanker.
It sounds awful. I don't know what I would do without masturbating, just in general mind.
I was in hospital last year and for a fairly big scare. Just text around to whoever you might know and hear the voices of whoever might cross your mind. It does the world of good to hear from someone.
And stop ****. You're probably at it right now.

mud

antodeco wrote: »

Doctor doctor, every time I masturbate I get a severe headache.
- Makes a difference from the wife's headache that causes you to masturbate

I went out with someone who suffered from this. It was a feckin' nightmare

racso1975

Trust me this is not just down to weight and diet. When it happens it actually feels your head (the one on your shoulders) is about to explode. The pain is unfukin real

mud

racso1975 wrote: »

Trust me this is not just down to weight and diet. When it happens it actually feels your head (the one on your shoulders) is about to explode. The pain is unfukin real

Yep, the guy I was seeing was lean and healthy and felt like his eye was gonna explode with pain upon orgasm. Woeful.

OP, when are you cumming back?

frag420

Still waiting on tap. The waiting is fooking worse!!

Woke up with a root and couldn't do anything about it, agony if I do and agony if I don't!!When it does come out its gonna resemble a church candle flying out me knob!!

cloud493

Glad I was just about to eat a sausage baguette when I read that :pac:

Seedy Arling

FanadMan wrote: »

Enjoy the spinal tap - they're fun.......not! Had a few done - worst bit is when the needle is going in, but once it's in, it's not so bad. And mri scans are a piece of piss, just close your eyes and relax.

Best of luck with it all.

The spinal taps aint too bad, just dont think about it and its grand. Its slightly uncomfortable but its a pain in the hole having to lay down for so long after it.

mud

Seedy Arling wrote: »

The spinal taps aint too bad, just dont think about it and its grand. Its slightly uncomfortable but its a pain in the hole having to lay down for so long after it.

Ask them does the needle go up to eleven!

mud

And actually OP the guy I was talking about got it all sorted and you will too

Bad Panda

*Checks Google for medical advice*

...Yep, you're going to die.

FanadMan

Seedy Arling wrote: »

The spinal taps aint too bad, just dont think about it and its grand. Its slightly uncomfortable but its a pain in the hole having to lay down for so long after it.

Yeah, that's one thing that I really hated.....having to lie down for so long. But one of the nurses said to drink a lot of coffee - it's supposed to help get the system going again. Think was only on my back for about an hour the last tap I got. And having one of those electric beds helps - can raise yourself a wee bit at a time.

Oh, and prob gonna be having another one next week.....along with another mri Got a letter to say that have to go into hospital next week.

frag420

Ok so I stressed out too much about the tap that they feared I may move during it and so decided against it in case I caused more damage while the needle is in!

They said if I get any more head pain I am to return to then ASAP. So basically I am a chicken ****. Afraid to get a boner now too!!

mauzo

frag420 wrote: »

Ok so I stressed out too much about the tap that they feared I may move during it and so decided against it in case I caused more damage while the needle is in!

They said if I get any more head pain I am to return to then ASAP. So basically I am a chicken ****. Afraid to get a boner now too!!

*sends naked pics *