Is Irish society changing when it comes to women and sexuality?

Barbieliveshere

I've been thinking recently about Irish women and sexuality(mainly due to the reaction of irish women to the recent book 50 shades of grey and movie Magic Mike). When it comes to sexuality Ireland has always been a more conservative country. Are things changing and is it for the better? Are women opening up about sex?

boomkatalog

I've always felt that in the company of other women sex wasn't a taboo subject. Media wise, its great to see that huge Abercrombie poster in Dublin of the beautiful man's abdomen up on the wall of that building (I don't know where it is, but I'm sure anyone in the Dublin area will know the one I mean). Makes a nice change from the likes of the hunky dory ads and the club orange 'best bits'.

As for fifty shades of grey, its surprising how many people are admitting reading it, but is part of that down to fashion and trends? Its considered cool to be reading it, so people aren't embarrassed.

username123

boomkatalog wrote: »

As for fifty shades of grey, its surprising how many people are admitting reading it, but is part of that down to fashion and trends? Its considered cool to be reading it, so people aren't embarrassed.

Yes I agree. Ive been reading literary porn for years. 50 shades of grey is worse than some, better than some, but it doesnt stand out much either way and an entire book with an actual storyline is not what Id consider good porn tbh (bit like watching a porn movie for the story line - do people not just fast forward to the action?).

Mostly these days its considered less taboo to talk about sex than it was, thanks to the likes of Dr Ruth and Sex and the City, society has changed, and not just Irish society.

christmas2012

I think women are more open about their sexuality and what they think and the media to a greater or lesser extent tries to protray that..

Eve_Dublin

Barbieliveshere wrote: »

I've been thinking recently about Irish women and sexuality(mainly due to the reaction of irish women to the recent book 50 shades of grey and movie Magic Mike). When it comes to sexuality Ireland has always been a more conservative country. Are things changing and is it for the better? Are women opening up about sex?

I don't know. We might've been more conservative but none of us knew what went on behind closed doors back in the day. As far as I know, Irish women weren't having sex through sheets or with the lights out in all cases. What I think is different now is what was once private and something we got on with without making a song and dance about it has gone the other end of the spectrum.

I'm all for being open about sex and being able to discuss what you like and don't like and getting rid of any shame associated with it, which I've no doubt existed in ultra-conservative Catholic Ireland in the past but now it seems that if you're not talking about it or boasting about your kinky exploits or talking about how you love porn or vibrators etc.,then you're not sexually liberated...a frigid. I think that's the case among young people more so than my age group (30s and up).

I dunno, I've no shame with who or what I get up to behind closed doors. It's my business. I do what I like with who I like and that's that but life goes on and I work and I've bills to pay and I've other interests. I love sex and find it great fun but it's not the be all and end all like it's made out to be in modern times.

Instead of shame, people are made to feel guilty for not having a supposedly fulfilling one dimensional version of a sex life that's shoved down our throats by the media. It's gone too far imo. I think there's an immense pressure among young people to be something they're not and I think a middle ground is needed.

People need to talk openly about REAL sex and how it really is. Yes, I let out vagina farts during sex sometimes which makes us laugh, yes I sometimes don't feel like engaging in every position in the Karma Sutra and just want a lazy quickie missionary-style and sometimes crack a silly joke about something where I'm laughing all the way through...sometimes I'd even prefer a nice cup of tea and biscuit instead. I don't cum simply by being touched and there's a little more to reaching an orgasm for a woman by simply having a willy move in and out of her vagina. And some form of foreplay is almost always needed. A 12 inch penis would probably hurt me. I'm not "ready" 24/7 either. My body is a bit more complicated than it's made out to be.

We have this one dimensional very serious unrealistic fake porn-star version of sex forced onto us by the media that if we don't live up to, we feel were lacking somehow as women and men and that's a load of bollocks. What about variety and and having the "balls" to discuss what it is we really like and a bit more sincerity about it instead of pretending?

I feel blessed to be in my 30s in this day and age and I really pity young men and women having to grow up in all that. I'd imagine it's all very confusing.

Teferi

boomkatalog wrote: »

Media wise, its great to see that huge Abercrombie poster in Dublin of the beautiful man's abdomen up on the wall of that building (I don't know where it is, but I'm sure anyone in the Dublin area will know the one I mean). Makes a nice change from the likes of the hunky dory ads and the club orange 'best bits'.

Is this not a hypocrisy?

After the furor over the Hunky Dory adverts, including a representative from the Rape Crisis Centre proclaiming that those adverts were putting women in danger of being raped by men, I haven't heard a peep from anyone over the Abercrombie billboard.

Eve_Dublin

Teferi wrote: »

Is this not a hypocrisy?

After the furor over the Hunky Dory adverts, including a representative from the Rape Crisis Centre proclaiming that those adverts were putting women in danger of being raped by men, I haven't heard a peep from anyone over the Abercrombie billboard.

It's only hypocrisy if she personally complained about the Hunky Dory adverts. People have different opinions.

eviltwin

I think women have always been very sexual and open about it among themselves but its taking society a long time to come to terms with that.

I do think with regards to the 50 shades book and movies like Magic Mike its seen as a bit of a gimmick really which is a shame. Any of the media coverage of 50 shades seems to have a hint of condescension about it, there is this assumption that most of the women reading it are doing so wide eyed, in shock and using it to "spice up" their love lives....I find that a bit offensive tbh, I don't need a book to give me courage to explore things in the bedroom. Like most women I am well able to talk about sex frankly without having to use a topical story in the media to give me a nudge :mad:

Teferi

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

It's only hypocrisy if she personally complained about the Hunky Dory adverts. People have different opinions.

As per the title of the thread my comment was directed at Irish societies reaction to the differing but similar advert campaigns, boomkat was just the poster to bring it up.

eviltwin

Teferi wrote: »

Is this not a hypocrisy?

After the furor over the Hunky Dory adverts, including a representative from the Rape Crisis Centre proclaiming that those adverts were putting women in danger of being raped by men, I haven't heard a peep from anyone over the Abercrombie billboard.

I would love to know it anyone actually did complain about the Hunky Dorys ad, I can only remember the spokesperson from the RCC on the radio at the time talking about it, I don't recall any members of the public making the same link between the ads and possible sex attacks.

Teferi

eviltwin wrote: »

I would love to know it anyone actually did complain about the Hunky Dorys ad, I can only remember the spokesperson from the RCC on the radio at the time talking about it, I don't recall any members of the public making the same link between the ads and possible sex attacks.

If the various threads on boards at the time about those ads are to be believed then many posters complained about them.

boomkatalog

I wasn't personally offended by the hunky dorys ads, just if women are going to be objectified, where's the man candy? :pac:

Well, it seems things are starting to even out a bit!

Eve_Dublin

Teferi wrote: »

As per the title of the thread my comment was directed at Irish societies reaction to the differing but similar advert campaigns, boomkat was just the poster to bring it up.

The thread has nothing to do with advertising, it's do with female sexuality....a totally separate topic. With respect, why don't you start your own thread instead of bringing the thread off topic? Or look for one of the million other threads where this has already been discussed.

Teferi

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

The thread has nothing to do with advertising, it's do with female sexuality....a totally separate topic. With respect, why don't you start your own thread instead of bringing the thread off topic? Or look for one of the million other threads where this has already been discussed.

Surely men, women and the sexuality of both in advertising, something that we are bombarded with on a daily basis is central to women, sexuality and Irish societies views on both considering media directly influence these views.

And with respect I am not the person who brought it up.

Ickle Magoo

Teferi - as per the forum charter, this is a forum for the ladies of Boards to discuss topics of interest to them. The OP of this thread has been absolutely clear what direction they want their thread to go in - so please respect that and desist with the tiresome whataboutery.

Cheers

As per site rules - if you want to discuss this moderator action, do so via PM

analucija

I think the perception on female sexuality is changing everywhere, not just in Ireland. But I would hate to contribute it to some Twilight inspired dross or the oldest marketing trick on the planet. Henry Miller wrote Tropic of Cancer eighty or so years ago and Levis showed how to sell jeans in 90ies. I would more contribute popularity of 50 shades to e-readers and once the craze started it became more acceptable to be seen reading it.

I don't think there is overly an impression that either the ad or the book are pushing the boundaries. It more seems that they are following the general trend.

Madam_X

I think sex has become like a competition - how many partners have you had? What stuff do you do? Etc. It's awful crassness.
And at the same time, I still believe there is extreme sexual conservatism out there - including among the people in the above category. To me, showing off about how sexually liberalated you are, wearing no clothes on a night out (but giving fellas a clatter or an earful for looking at your hanging out boobs) are among the most conformist things one can be/do.

shoos

I couldn't agree more with Eve_Dublin's comment about how we have such a one dimensional view of all sex being porn star sex. Whatever about other more serious reasons I dislike the porn industry, this is one particular reason which affects my (sex) life all the time and I'm furious about it.

I'm 21 and none of my group of friends would discuss sex openly with one another. We'd know who is having sex and with who and if its good/awful and maybe vague reasons why but we'd never go into indepth discussions about our bodies. Because of that, I'm only beginning to realise that the fact I'm not cumming during sex quickly and repeatedly is not because I'm broken - which since I started having sex I was led to believe. I don't blame the men I've had sex with because they've probably just been fed on the completely unrealistic and fake sex shown in porn too. But it's really, really difficult to know where to go from here.

There's barely any sources to find out about REAL sex, which I am literally dying to learn about. I'd love to hear and see more about awkward moments, tips on what can be truly sensual, tips on (depsite what we're led to believe) are not actually all that sensual or pleasing for women.

But unfortunately, that's not the way it works ... yet.

Das Kitty

I think 50 shades, Sex and the City and the like have given people a trendy way of speaking openly about what's going on in their heads with regard to sex. Nothing more.

I remember being quite happy that other people were willing to talk about sex when SATC came about, but it became clear that if the conversation strayed too far away from the fictional that people would clam up again. I'm talking about nights out and in with female friends here. It used to bother me, I used to feel like a perv, I don't anymore.

I met a female friend there recently who I hadn't seen in years and she's recently single. Subjects came up as they do when both parties have been drinking a bit and she asked me if I had a rabbit, because she was thinking of making a purchase. I told her I did, but I threw it out because I didn't like it and that I have other vibrators. She actually wasn't aware that other types of vibrator existed. I admitted I was surprised by that and she said that she had been too embarrassed to look into it.

I think that's what bothers me, is that women are being ruled by their embarrassment rather than seeking out things they are interested in. To me there is no shame in sexuality at all, and granted it hasn't always been like that for me, I live and learn.

I do think it's unfortunate that 50 shades has been the erotic literature breakthrough into mainstream. It portrays a very very unhealthy (some would say abusive) relationship as something to be aspired to. There are so many other, better stories out there.

onixx

There are reports that sales of 50 shades have increased demand for other erotica a lot as well, and sales of other erotic books have also gone way up - so maybe a lot of them will move on to better ones. Hopefully.

my closest friend and I have no problems discussing it in fine detail without embarrassment or showing off or anything but plain honesty, but I wouldn't generally otherwise in company unless the subject comes up (hur)

onixx wrote:

I think sex has become like a competition

I haven't seen any of that myself to be honest unless I go by threads in AH...