Online vs IRL (or the (filthy) mind of tLL)...

cdaly_

I've heard it said (in a discussion on the idea of a female-only space) that a group of women will behave differently if there is a man present than if not. I'm not talking in terms of 'competing' for his attention but in terms of being happy to speak freely on any subject.

Given the level of (most enjoyable) smut in the LwL thread*, I'm inclined to think (were the above hypothesis true) that many of you (unconsiously) consider LwL to be a female-only space and maybe consider us men to be honorary women. Or is is more a matter of online vs IRL where you can be more relaxed?

So, would the sort of conversations we see in LwL occur IRL? In mixed company or female only?

Would you agree with the 'behave differently' hypothesis above?




*Loungers who Lunch

SarahBeep!

If anything I lower the tone even further IRL!

lilmissprincess

It depends on the company really; around certain friends I would have the same levels as I do on here, around others I wouldn't. It depends on the relationship you have with the people, and also how THEY will react to such things. LwL is a safer space - all of us are roughly around the same level (in our online selves anyway) so we know what we can get away with saying.

Think the episode of Sex and the City where Charlotte tries to talk about her sex life with her other friends... it all depends on the people involved..

Eve_Dublin

cdaly_ wrote: »

I've heard it said (in a discussion on the idea of a female-only space) that a group of women will behave differently if there is a man present than if not. I'm not talking in terms of 'competing' for his attention but in terms of being happy to speak freely on any subject.

Given the level of (most enjoyable) smut in the LwL thread*, I'm inclined to think (were the above hypothesis true) that many of you (unconsiously) consider LwL to be a female-only space and maybe consider us men to be honorary women. Or is is more a matter of online vs IRL where you can be more relaxed?

So, would the sort of conversations we see in LwL occur IRL? In mixed company or female only?

Would you agree with the 'behave differently' hypothesis above?




*Loungers who Lunch

I always thought you were a female poster! That's all I have to say, really..

Acoshla

I'm definitely more an observer of the smut talk than a participant, here and IRL, but I have noticed on a facebook group I was part of which had ridiculous levels of sexual comments, info relating to female issues (such as bikini waxes, periods, the members sex lives, pregnancy issues etc) and general "filthy/smutty" comments that when a man joined the group they continued on as normal, they progressed over time and got much worse. This group was actually originally a group relating to an area of business but descended into this.

Anyways, I think the women there didn't care at all that a man was in their midst, but I also think they would say NONE of what they say IRL, hiding behind their computers pretending they're all filthy minxes when in reality they are all quiet and reserved. In the end the only male in the group actually left and asked were they not mortified putting all this information online for others to read, and that he didn't feel right reading about the sex lives and bodily functions of a load of women. It was embarrassing to read really, all trying to one up each other with their comments. I'm the same here as I am in real life, I don't edit myself much in either, and I don't put anything on here that I wouldn't say in real life.

cdaly_

Acoshla wrote: »

Anyways, I think the women there didn't care at all that a man was in their midst, but I also think they would say NONE of what they say IRL, hiding behind their computers pretending they're all filthy minxes when in reality they are all quiet and reserved.

I was kinda thinking that too but wondering if there's been an IRL shift with the changing generations.

Acoshla

cdaly_ wrote: »

I was kinda thinking that too but wondering if there's been an IRL shift with the changing generations.

I dunno, none of my friends would say anything smutty, we like good clean humour! We'd have more of a sharp quick wit based banter so I can't give an opinion of it it's a generational thing. But then maybe that's part of our friendships, similar sense of humour, I personally don't like jokes or talk relating to sex, no idea why, I'm not a prude just really dislike that kind of humour.

Princess Peach

I used to be dreadful for this kind of thing! Online and in real life. I can honestly same I'm the exact same in either situation.

It didn't bother me if there was a man around, as long I knew him, same as I wouldn't have that kind of chat around girls I didn't know well. More for their sakes than mine really, wouldn't want to make them feel uncomfortable. But with friends I was filthy, and even on Facebook where all my friends could see. So for me, no it didn't matter if a guy was around.

Kinda just grew out of it though! Was only looking at an old profile of mine on another forum yesterday, the things that I said! I will still take an opportunity for a joke if it arises, but I don't really initiate it now, if that makes sense!

Thinking of it more I probably grew out of it as I was using it for attention more than anything.

Tabitha Tusdar

SarahBeep! wrote: »

If anything I lower the tone even further IRL!

no mods in IRL to ban ya :P

Sarah**

Myself and the girls would be quite open and smutty but it would depend on the situation. We wouldn't stop just because a male was in the midst - They either like the banter or they don't.

However in the work environment, myself and the girls and our boss would have filthy innuendos but we realise when mixing with other departments ("Outsiders") it isn't considered appropriate so we would refrain.

I guess it depends on the social setting. Between myself and the girls... Be there men in the mix or not... Why not!?

cynder

Depends who I am with, i do often say suggestive things to my hubby out of ear shot of the kids. I think a bunch of girls/ women together can be very vocal. I would be one of the quieter ones. If there is a mixed situation the fellas give as good as they get, but i wouldnt say anything suggestive to a male as im married and would not like to give off the wrong signal. Even on my hen i was very quiet...

beks101

It's not a gender divide for me, it just really depends on my company and judging what will go down well Vs what will be a bit 'too much' around different friends.

I have a male friend who I'd barely swear in front of because he's just not that way inclined; equally I have a female friend who I'd joke with about blowjobs, anal bleaching, all kinds of smut and draw diagrams to illustrate a point!

It really is just a personality thing rather than a male/female thing.

Malari

beks101 wrote: »

It's not a gender divide for me, it just really depends on my company and judging what will go down well Vs what will be a bit 'too much' around different friends.

I have a male friend who I'd barely swear in front of because he's just not that way inclined; equally I have a female friend who I'd joke with about blowjobs, anal bleaching, all kinds of smut and draw diagrams to illustrate a point!

It really is just a personality thing rather than a male/female thing.

If anything I'm more smutty in real life. And I don't find it's a gender thing. It's a personality thing.

Ella

I'm actually filthier in real life than on here. I tone it down here in case I offend anyone/ get unwanted pm. Where as in real life all my friends and family know and love me for my potty mouth

Giselle

Depends on who I'm with.

I suspect this thread will be full of ''I'm filthy!'', ''NO, I'm even MORE filthy'', ''I'm the filthiest person ever!'' type comments.

In my admittedly narrow experience, the ones that are loudest at talking the talk, aren't necessarily the ones who walk the walk!

krudler

Its always the quiet ones...

Das Kitty

Skadoosh! wrote: »

Its always the quiet ones...

Nope.

I'm not quiet and I'm very much the same IRL as I am online. Obviously it depends on the company, but it has nothing to do with the gender of the people I'm with, that'd be daft.

Ella

Das Kitty wrote: »

Skadoosh! wrote: »

Its always the quiet ones...

Nope.

I'm not quiet and I'm very much the same IRL as I am online. Obviously it depends on the company, but it has nothing to do with the gender of the people I'm with, that'd be daft.

I can vouch for this. She's pure filth

Dolbert

Durtburds the lot of ya!

Madam_X

Have an awful smutty gob on me - both in public and online.

But yeah, it obviously depends on the company too.

Onixx

Onixx wrote: »

Have an awful smutty gob on me - both in public and online.

But yeah, it obviously depends on the company too.

This is me also.

Good god I've a shockin' mouth. But I know where and when not to use it!