First date cock ups

cruais

What's the worst thing that's ever happened to you on a first date?

A couple of years ago, I met a lovely guy on a night out in town. He was a country boy. Anyway, we arranged to go for a drink the following week.

We met up and everything was going great until later in the night, he held my hand.

Me: oh your hands are so soft!
Him: thanks! It's from milking all the cows on the farm!:eek:

I never saw him again.

Kylo Ren

You should of let him milk you before you sent him home.

cruais

DURTY

cheesefiend

Genuinely have no idea what went wrong here. Am I just very naive or something?

cruais

Maybe it was just me being from Dublin and not having a country head on me, but when I heard that, it totally turned me off him!

Sar_Bear

cruais wrote: »

What's the worst thing that's ever happened to you on a first date?

A couple of years ago, I met a lovely guy on a night out in town. He was a country boy. Anyway, we arranged to go for a drink the following week.

We met up and everything was going great until later in the night, he held my hand.

Me: oh your hands are so soft!
Him: thanks! It's from milking all the cows on the farm!:eek:

I never saw him again.

I'm guessing "town" is Dublin and "country boy" is a guy from anywhere outside of Dublin? :rolleyes:

Chuck Stone

So you let a farm boy put his cock up you on your first date?

Holy mammary glands Batman!

cruais

Sar_Bear wrote: »

I'm guessing "town" is Dublin and "country boy" is a guy from anywhere outside of Dublin? :rolleyes:

He was from clare and lived on a farm, so yes, I would class him as being from the country...

im invisible

first date cock up? not so bad!

cherryghost

Years ago I greeted my date with my ex's name. The rest of that date was the longest evening of my life. Needless to say I didn't even get 1st base.

Fight_Night

We were at Eddie Rockets, normally they give you glass bottles of ketchup but for some reason that day we were given a plastic bottle, the ones that you're able to squeeze(which imo are much better and easier to use but anyway) so we've just got our meal and I'm about to put ketchup on my chips when all of a sudden Louis Walsh walks in, I scream "HEY LOUIS" and unknowingly squeezed the bottle of ketchup with such strength that it got all over her clothes. She stormed off back to her house and I went after her to apologize. Once I reached her house I asked her to come back to Eddie Rockets, to which she replied "How am I supposed to go out wearing this?" So I winked and said "I guess you just won't be able to wear it."

Then we made love.

There was no date. =(

Vicar in a tutu

Went out on a date with a nice young gentleman and proceeded to call him by an ex boyfriends name.. was really awkward as i tried to make an excuse:pac: I wasnt even hung up on the ex either! Dont know why I done it:pac:

wandatowell

A mate of mive got drunk before a first date with his bird and he opened a door into his own face which caused his nose to start bleeding.


Kinda funny I guess

MrStuffins

You'd do "cock-ups" on a first date?

Your mickey-tendons would be in tatters by date no.3!

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy

Met a girl in a club one weekend, swapped numbers and texted all week.

Arranged to go out the following weekend.

I decided a couple of hours before the date that I wasn't into her but figured it was too late to cancel. I thought that seeing as Im not interested there's no point getting dressed up.

She turned up in a dress and high heels. I wore air max runners and a louth jersey. Bouncers turned me away from every bar we tried to get into.

Ended up in this ****hole pub full of over 50s. Drinking €3 pints of fosters, total eclipse of the heart was on the jukebox.

Didn't even get the shift after walking her home

Surprisingly she never asked to see me again

Jimoslimos

cruais wrote: »

What's the worst thing that's ever happened to you on a first date?

A couple of years ago, I met a lovely guy on a night out in town. He was a country boy. Anyway, we arranged to go for a drink the following week.

We met up and everything was going great until later in the night, he held my hand.

Me: oh your hands are so soft!
Him: thanks! It's from milking all the cows on the farm!:eek:

I never saw him again.

Who made the 'cock-up' here? You or him? Guarantee you'd be singing a different tune had you let those soft muscular digits of his go wandering elsewhere*


*Source: I also used to milk cows. No complaints about my handiwork

Cee-Jay-Cee

I once went on a blind date (arranged by mutual friend) anyway things were going surprisingly good and we were getting on brilliantly. We went to several pubs and I was starting to get pished. She was drinking one drink to every two I had and so was relatively sober. Anyway there was lull
In conversation at one stage and I was desperately trying to come up with something to ask/say and I came out with a gem "do you prefer straight sex or anal? " the night ended very quickly after that. I could have kicked myself as she was such a nice girl...in every way, bum included.

The Big Red Button

cruais wrote: »

What's the worst thing that's ever happened to you on a first date?

A couple of years ago, I met a lovely guy on a night out in town. He was a country boy. Anyway, we arranged to go for a drink the following week.

We met up and everything was going great until later in the night, he held my hand.

Me: oh your hands are so soft!
Him: thanks! It's from milking all the cows on the farm!:eek:

I never saw him again.

Well if that's the worst thing that's ever happened to you on a first date, you're doing pretty well!

I'm not sure why you think there's anything wrong with what he said? I'm guessing that all he meant was that he spends a lot of time with his hands in water - from when he's hosing down the cows and the milking parlour, etc. I somehow very much doubt that he milks the cows by hand (and, even if he did, how would that make his hands soft?!)

Jimoslimos

chatterpillar wrote: »

I somehow very much doubt that he milks the cows by hand (and, even if he did, how would that make his hands soft?!)

Usually use vaseline or some udder cream (get it!) to reduce friction on the teat.

[Jackass]

Hooked up with a girl on a messy night out, we'll call her Amanda, no funny business, just a bit of necking and swapped numbers, texted for a few days and arranged to meet her the following weekend in a bar.

I was a little early so landed up at the bar and got a pint. A couple of minutes later she walked over beside me to order a drink but didn't see me so I just tapped her on the shoulder and said hey, asked her how she was getting on etc. and started having the craic.

She sat down and things were going well until about 15 minutes into the conversation this weird girl came over and said hey, I had no idea who she was so just said hey and turned away and continued on with my date chatting. I could awkwardly see this psycho chick just hanging on my shoulder for another five minutes until I finally bit the bullet and turned to her and said "Sorry, do I know you?"

It wasn't until she said "[Jackass]...it's Amanda..." that I realised I just spent the last 20 minutes chatting to a girl who was simply at the bar to order a pint and I just burned my actual date...

Amanda wasn't as hot as I remembered (in fact the beer goggles must have been in full swing that first night), so it took the edge off explaining to the first girl, in front of my date, that I was waiting for this second girl and I thought that first girl was my date...

It all get very awkward, so I finished my drink in front of both of them and without saying another word, just got up and walked out...

Cee-Jay-Cee

[Jackass] wrote: »

Hooked up with a girl on a messy night out, we'll call her Amanda, no funny business, just a bit of necking and swapped numbers, texted for a few days and arranged to meet her the following weekend in a bar.

Amanda Huggankiss???

danniemcq

Took her to the cinema and never paid for her....

although she has stuck with me for 5 and a bit years so i must have done something right or be really really REALLY good looking...

option A it is then

FatherLen

farted in her presence then fell asleep....

Clareman

Went on a date with this one who thought Dublin was the center of the universe, kept on going on about how she could totally relate to Carrie from Sex in the City and how she worked in fashion (stacked shelves in Penny's), I was nearly deaf from the tick tock of her biological clock. Anyway, near the end of the night there was a bit of confusion and she grabbed a hold of my hand, I was a bit shocked but I figured I'd give her the good news before never calling her again, she mentioned that my hands were soft (comes from working in IT for years) so I figured I'd let her know that I was used to dealing with bovines like her and told her it was cause of milking the cows down home), she went a bit weird then.

smash

cruais wrote: »

What's the worst thing that's ever happened to you on a first date?

A couple of years ago, I met a lovely guy on a night out in town. He was a country boy. Anyway, we arranged to go for a drink the following week.

We met up and everything was going great until later in the night, he held my hand.

Me: oh your hands are so soft!
Him: thanks! It's from milking all the cows on the farm!:eek:

I never saw him again.

Until I read the cow bit, I assumed you were a traveller for saying that...

Canis Lupus

jar_of_coins wrote: »

Met a girl in a club one weekend, swapped numbers and texted all week.

Arranged to go out the following weekend.

I decided a couple of hours before the date that I wasn't into her but figured it was too late to cancel. I thought that seeing as Im not interested there's no point getting dressed up.

She turned up in a dress and high heels. I wore air max runners and a louth jersey. Bouncers turned me away from every bar we tried to get into.

Ended up in this ****hole pub full of over 50s. Drinking €3 pints of fosters, total eclipse of the heart was on the jukebox.

Didn't even get the shift after walking her home

Surprisingly she never asked to see me again

I think that would be called being a d*ck rather than a first date cock up..

Joey the lips

I married her.... Major cock up!

amacca

Not too bad actually.......I'm relatively drama free on dates but on meeting a girl for the first time recently I arrived with no plans a wee bit late and flustered

I confessed I wasn't sure what we could do and then I went a step further and made a suggestion

"We could go for a drive"

that was one nervous girl for most of that date

The Gnome

Joey the lips wrote: »

I married her.... Major cock up!

On the first date!? Jesus, I think this is definitely in order!

Esoteric_

Can't think of any bad mistakes I've made on dates thankfully, but there was one date which was ridiculously awkward.

Met up with this guy, a friend of a friend. My mate had told me he'd been single for a year after a nasty break up. I thought that a year was fine and he'd be fine to start dating again.

Went for coffee and everything was going well. He asked did I want to go for dinner and I agreed. Afterwards, we were walking around, doing the hand holding bit, when he started to cry. I asked him what was wrong (I was a little bit freaked out!) and he proceeded to cry on my shoulder, in Stephen's Green park for about half an hour about how his ex broke his heart.

I tried to comfort him and whatever, but was feeling very awkward! Next day, I got a text saying he had a great time and would I like to go for a few drinks over the weekend. Needless to say, I deleted the number. :pac:

Brokentime

Got a classic for you.

I went back to college as a mature student a few years ago. In my first few weeks, I got roped into the mature student society, for whatever reason.

Anyway, got to know one of the women in the group quite well, and we got on okay. The group had a trip over to Prague in the first year, and we got fairly intimate in my hotel room, albeit without sex.

When we got back to Ireland, we agreed to have a date. The day came and it turned out we weren't going out on a date, but rather back to her house. Now, you'd think this was ace news, but she was a single mother and I knew there was a lack-of-babysitters element to it.

Spent a pretty uneventful evening in her house, with her mainly doting over the 1-year-old kid and watching TV. To alleviate the boredom, I even went upstairs and fixed her printer and computer (yes, that bad).

Anyway, she put the baby to bed and then things began to happen. Friskiness downstairs become nudity and sex upstairs. However, when we started going at it, the bed made so much noise that it woke the baby. Up she hopped, in the buff, from beside me and went into the baby's room to pacify it. Comes back 5 mins later and we go at it again. Bed makes noise, baby wakes up, and off she goes again. This happened about 3 times.

When she came back, I got the duvet and threw it on the floor and pulled her down and we went at it there, and it was pretty uninspired stuff. However, the next morning, I wake up and she's gone. I'm sitting at the edge of the bed having a scratch when she arrives in, naked again, with the baby. I'm in the buff, too, and the sight of the baby made me cover up me junk. She then plonks the baby at the foot of the bed and straddles me, and wants to go at it again. In front of the baby.

I left, post-haste.

concernman

cruais wrote: »

What's the worst thing that's ever happened to you on a first date?

A couple of years ago, I met a lovely guy on a night out in town. He was a country boy. Anyway, we arranged to go for a drink the following week.

We met up and everything was going great until later in the night, he held my hand.

Me: oh your hands are so soft!
Him: thanks! It's from milking all the cows on the farm!:eek:

I never saw him again.

You sound like a big snob.

Crooked Jack

Brokentime wrote: »

Got a classic for you.

I went back to college as a mature student a few years ago. In my first few weeks, I got roped into the mature student society, for whatever reason.

Anyway, got to know one of the women in the group quite well, and we got on okay. The group had a trip over to Prague in the first year, and we got fairly intimate in my hotel room, albeit without sex.

When we got back to Ireland, we agreed to have a date. The day came and it turned out we weren't going out on a date, but rather back to her house. Now, you'd think this was ace news, but she was a single mother and I knew there was a lack-of-babysitters element to it.

Spent a pretty uneventful evening in her house, with her mainly doting over the 1-year-old kid and watching TV. To alleviate the boredom, I even went upstairs and fixed her printer and computer (yes, that bad).

Anyway, she put the baby to bed and then things began to happen. Friskiness downstairs become nudity and sex upstairs. However, when we started going at it, the bed made so much noise that it woke the baby. Up she hopped, in the buff, from beside me and went into the baby's room to pacify it. Comes back 5 mins later and we go at it again. Bed makes noise, baby wakes up, and off she goes again. This happened about 3 times.

When she came back, I got the duvet and threw it on the floor and pulled her down and we went at it there, and it was pretty uninspired stuff. However, the next morning, I wake up and she's gone. I'm sitting at the edge of the bed having a scratch when she arrives in, naked again, with the baby. I'm in the buff, too, and the sight of the baby made me cover up me junk. She then plonks the baby at the foot of the bed and straddles me, and wants to go at it again. In front of the baby.

I left, post-haste.

Oh, tough one. Dunno what I'd do in that situation. i suppose if she was really fit and I didnt clock eyes with the baby at any point it would be ok

Brokentime

Crooked Jack wrote: »

..if she was really fit...

She wasn't.

Crooked Jack wrote: »

...I didnt clock eyes with the baby...

I did.

Like any guy, I was up for a quick one in the morning, but just couldn't get my head around railing the baby's ma in front of his eyes.

amacca

Crooked Jack wrote: »

Oh, tough one. Dunno what I'd do in that situation. i suppose if she was really fit and I didnt clock eyes with the baby at any point it would be ok

I wouldn't be man enough to handle that at all

I'd probably imagine it was crying or plotting my eventual death stewie griffin style

Reoil

cruais wrote: »

I never saw him again.

His choice, hopefully.

Ash.J.Williams

cruais wrote: »

Maybe it was just me being from Dublin and not having a country head on me, but when I heard that, it totally turned me off him!

because milk comes from a shop?

Duggy747

cruais wrote: »

We met up and everything was going great until later in the night, he held my hand.

Me: oh your hands are so soft!
Him: thanks! It's from milking all the cows on the farm!:eek:

I never saw him again.

By the sounds of it, he had a lucky escape from a snobby city slicker..

MugMugs

Brokentime wrote: »

When she came back, I got the duvet and threw it on the floor and pulled her down and we went at it there, and it was pretty uninspired stuff. However, the next morning, I wake up and she's gone. I'm sitting at the edge of the bed having a scratch when she arrives in, naked again, with the baby. I'm in the buff, too, and the sight of the baby made me cover up me junk. She then plonks the baby at the foot of the bed and straddles me, and wants to go at it again. In front of the baby.

I left, post-haste.

That's awesome and possibly the best contraceptive ever.

"Hey, lets get it on and if you don't pull out quick enough, this is what you're going to spend your Saturday afternoons looking after"

Durex aint got nothing on this lass!

Son0vagun

I knew a girl who went on a blind date. When she met her date she didn't fancy him. She excused herself and went to the toilet to text her friend. She wrote in the text that her date was minging and could the friend ring her in five minutes to make it look like she had to leave in a hurry.

She then by mistake, sent the text to her date.

opinion guy

Fight_Night wrote: »

We were at Eddie Rockets, normally they give you glass bottles of ketchup but for some reason that day we were given a plastic bottle, the ones that you're able to squeeze(which imo are much better and easier to use but anyway) so we've just got our meal and I'm about to put ketchup on my chips when all of a sudden Louis Walsh walks in, I scream "HEY LOUIS" and unknowingly squeezed the bottle of ketchup with such strength that it got all over her clothes. She stormed off back to her house and I went after her to apologize. Once I reached her house I asked her to come back to Eddie Rockets, to which she replied "How am I supposed to go out wearing this?" So I winked and said "I guess you just won't be able to wear it."

Then we made love.

There was no date. =(

Made love ???!?!

What is this ........50 shades of estrogen here already ???!?!?

Biggins

Walked into a cinema wall and knocked myself out.

mikemac1

cruais wrote: »

Me: oh your hands are so soft!
Him: thanks! It's from milking all the cows on the farm!:eek:

I never saw him again.

Should have asked him how many acres he had

If the land had road frontage then he was a keeper

aujopimur

I was dancing a slow one (60's), I shot off in my pants.

Brokentime

aujopimur wrote: »

I was dancing a slow one (60's), I shot off in my pants.

I would call that a partially successful first date.

daveyboy_1ie

Genuinly not one of my proudest moments. Went on a 'blind' date with a girl, although we had cheated and sent each other pictures of ourselves (normal one’s mind) after being set up by mutual friends.

Anyways after the usual awkward few moments at meeting and talking crap like you do to see what we want to do/ go etc. I suggested going for a pint. She had wanted to meet at the clock thing on O'Connell Street because that was where her parents met for the first time on a blind date too. Now this girl was carrying a few extra pounds (like myself), nothing too bad but it was obviously a big deal for her because she completely caught me unawares and asked me:

Her 'Well do I look like you expected?'

Me 'Well from the neck up defo'

All I meant was the photo I saw was a head shot, I swear. I am genuinely that stupid. Anyway two awkward pints later I suggested we call it a night as it was obvious she had shut down on me. She agreed. Actually I think she barely had the words out of her mouth before she disappeared and the three girls at the table behind me looking at me as if to say 'Men, you are all the same'. I swear I did not mean how it sounded and I made it worse by just ignoring the comment and pretending I never said it.

I sent a quick mail a few days apologising but never heard back but at least I tried to say sorry, albeit days too late.

danniemcq

daveyboy_1ie wrote: »

Anyways after the usual awkward few moments at meeting and talking crap like you do to see what we want to do/ go etc. I suggested going for a pint. She had wanted to meet at the clock thing on O'Connell Street because that was where her parents met for the first time on a blind date too. Now this girl was carrying a few extra pounds (like myself), nothing too bad but it was obviously a big deal for her because she completely caught me unawares and asked me:

Her 'Well do I look like you expected?'

Me 'Well from the neck up defo'

have you managed to remove that foot from your mouth yet?

although seeing she wanted to meet where her parents met is a bit odd to me. Maybe you dodged a bullet or maybe its the way my head works

Met a guy at a very drunken party at a friend's place.... chatted him up all night, friend told me he had a girlfriend! (Honest mistake, it was his ex but she didn't know that). Discouraged I hit the bottle rather harder than advisable, later encountering him in the kitchen where he puts the moves on... I asked him where his girlfriend was... "Haven't got one".... that's cool, but, I got to get out of here... promptly vomit on the tiles. (At least it wasn't on him). Worse still, we later ended up committing a lewd act on the couch while another friend desperately pretended to sleep in the same room.

He must have been as drunk as I was since we ended up going out together for over three years.

frag420

daveyboy_1ie wrote: »

I suggested going for a pint. She had wanted to meet at the clock thing on O'Connell Street because that was where her parents met for the first time on a blind date too. Now this girl was carrying a few extra pounds

Thats such bull****. The real reason she wanted to meet there is because its in between the Oatfield Sweetshop and a BurgerKing!!:D

CardBordWindow

Brokentime wrote: »

Got a classic for you.

I went back to college as a mature student a few years ago. In my first few weeks, I got roped into the mature student society, for whatever reason.

Anyway, got to know one of the women in the group quite well, and we got on okay. The group had a trip over to Prague in the first year, and we got fairly intimate in my hotel room, albeit without sex.

When we got back to Ireland, we agreed to have a date. The day came and it turned out we weren't going out on a date, but rather back to her house. Now, you'd think this was ace news, but she was a single mother and I knew there was a lack-of-babysitters element to it.

Spent a pretty uneventful evening in her house, with her mainly doting over the 1-year-old kid and watching TV. To alleviate the boredom, I even went upstairs and fixed her printer and computer (yes, that bad).

Anyway, she put the baby to bed and then things began to happen. Friskiness downstairs become nudity and sex upstairs. However, when we started going at it, the bed made so much noise that it woke the baby. Up she hopped, in the buff, from beside me and went into the baby's room to pacify it. Comes back 5 mins later and we go at it again. Bed makes noise, baby wakes up, and off she goes again. This happened about 3 times.

When she came back, I got the duvet and threw it on the floor and pulled her down and we went at it there, and it was pretty uninspired stuff. However, the next morning, I wake up and she's gone. I'm sitting at the edge of the bed having a scratch when she arrives in, naked again, with the baby. I'm in the buff, too, and the sight of the baby made me cover up me junk. She then plonks the baby at the foot of the bed and straddles me, and wants to go at it again. In front of the baby.

I left, post-haste.

You motherf*cker!

kfallon

danniemcq wrote: »

although seeing she wanted to meet where her parents met is a bit odd to me. Maybe you dodged a bullet or maybe its the way my head works

Yeah you can imagine if they had got down to the business later on, "First I want you to do me in the missionary position, then a few minutes of doggy and then I want you to blow off all over my boobs.....just like Mammy and Daddy do it!!" :eek: :pac: