Interview fcuk ups

wilkie2006

One of the lads was telling me about a recent interview he'd attended for a more senior role within his current company. When he was asked why he wanted the job, the muppet shrugged his shoulders and said, "To be honest, I don't. You've got to make it look like you're ambitious though, don't you?". Cue a barrage of indignation from the interviewer, telling him he was wasting her time and that, basically, he was an ar$ehole.

Another friend had been offered a phone interview. It was all going fine until about half way through when he asks the interviewer, "Can we pick this up another time? I went out on a mad session last night and I think I'm going to throw up."

Any other major faux pas from the AH crowd?

I once told an interviewer his wife was a ride (her photo on the desk)
Got the job too.:D

tmc86

I once went into an interview with my stepbrother, we tried to look smart and sophisticated but the interviewer was this rude lady who eventually screamed at us, turns out it was for a cleaning job, we didn't get any souvenirs either!

wilkie2006

RVP 11 wrote: »

I once told an interviewer his wife was a ride (her photo on the desk)
Got the job too.:D

Haha. Just made me think of this:

Where To

I've only ever been to one job interview in my life. It was one of them all day assessment yokes.
Got fed up after an hour and left.
Two days later got offered the job, the others must have been damn bad.

smash

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-AMgagxCvZQ

jcf

Where To wrote: »

I've only ever been to one job interview in my life. It was one of them all day assessment yokes.
Got fed up after an hour and left.
Two days later got offered the job, the others must have been damn bad.

you must be a civil servant

Where To

jcf wrote: »

Where To wrote: »

I've only ever been to one job interview in my life. It was one of them all day assessment yokes.
Got fed up after an hour and left.
Two days later got offered the job, the others must have been damn bad.

you must be a civil servant

You must be a terrible psychic.

Lumbo

I was interviewing students looking for summer jobs. One girl was doing well in the interview until I asked her how she had prepared for the interview.

She say's "Well, I got a new bag, my hair done and do you like my nails?.

There was a lot of lols when she left.

She still got the job and turned out to be a great appointment.

Dr.Strange

jcf wrote: »

you must be a civil servant

Ha ha, that gave me a chuckle.

Thanks & Regards.

bb1234567

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jgSWWRKecWU

JohnMarston

I went to an interview for an internship at an IT company back in february. I was seen into this office which had a desk place in the left corner, and a huge conference table facing you as you walk in.

I was asked to sit down at the left end of the table facing the this guy. He was one of those fellas you can tell immeadiately he's a kn*b. So, i sat down, thinking he would join me at the table and have the interview, and that he was just finishing up something.

Twenty seconds later he glaced at me and said "so? tell me why you want this internship" and went back to his work. This threw me right off, but i gave my answer. 15 seconds then pass with complete silence, he throws me another glance and "why should i take you on?" Still bewildered by the manner this interview was being conducted, i gave my answer. Without looking up, he smirked at one corner of his mouth and said "Ok, thank you for your time"
Wanting to leave with some composure, i approached the desk, said thank you, and offered my hand. Barely glancing up, he limp-wristedly shook my hand and i left.

I dont think i fupped up, he did. Good luck finding someone to work under you, you tw*t :mad:

indianalien

I work for a consultancy company. One of our more senior guys went to an interview with a potential customer for a contract lasting 3 years. He is brazilian and was asked "What do you do?". His answer- "Everything except I DO NOT have sex with men". Got the Job too. Infact he is still working for that customer and apart from the fact that he is a lunatic he is very good at what he does.

Guys a bit mad in general. He bought a 5000euro road bike but now he is too fat to ride it because he has special wheels that only support 100kg. He weights around 120kg!

FanadMan

Was in an interview a few years ago. Was going ok, up until I had to sneeze - grabbed a hankey out of my pocket and and sneezed 3 or 4 times. Only then did I realise that my nose had started bleeding!

Left a few splatters of blood on the desk and on my clothes. In fairness, the interviewers suspended the interview for an hour or so, got their first aider to help me and then let me come back when I was able. The good news - they actually gave me the job

laugh

Wore a suit when it was supposed to be casual, I claimed that the recruiter never told me, but when I got out the door I checked my gmail and there it was at the bottom of the e-mail. Got the job though.

1ZRed

How kids like this fall on their ass onto a pile of money I'll never know:rolleyes:

wilkie2006

JohnMarston wrote: »

I went to an interview for an internship at an IT company back in february. I was seen into this office which had a desk place in the left corner, and a huge conference table facing you as you walk in.

I was asked to sit down at the left end of the table facing the this guy. He was one of those fellas you can tell immeadiately he's a kn*b. So, i sat down, thinking he would join me at the table and have the interview, and that he was just finishing up something.

Twenty seconds later he glaced at me and said "so? tell me why you want this internship" and went back to his work. This threw me right off, but i gave my answer. 15 seconds then pass with complete silence, he throws me another glance and "why should i take you on?" Still bewildered by the manner this interview was being conducted, i gave my answer. Without looking up, he smirked at one corner of his mouth and said "Ok, thank you for your time"
Wanting to leave with some composure, i approached the desk, said thank you, and offered my hand. Barely glancing up, he limp-wristedly shook my hand and i left.

I dont think i fupped up, he did. Good luck finding someone to work under you, you tw*t :mad:

I think it's crazy how some interviewers operate. Any fool knows that an interview isn't just a chance for the employer to see what you have to offer but vice versa. I'm trying to change careers at the moment and have been attending quite a few interviews. I've turned down two jobs because I thought the guy I met (who would have become my boss) was a smart ar$e and a bit cnutish.

1ZRed

:eek:

I personally believe that this is such as because it is so bad...the Iraq

whendovescry

My cousin was being interviewed for a position at spar and the manager asked him how long did he envision working there. His reply was 'as long as it takes to earn enough money to get a real job' needless to say he wasn't offered the job

shopaholic01

RVP 11 wrote: »

I once told an interviewer his wife was a ride (her photo on the desk)
Got the job too.:D

Did he ever introduce you to his wife????

mikemac1

Was a penniless student and looking for my first bar job

Hard to get a job with no experience so bla, bla, I spent a summer working in North London

On I know that area, do you Finchley High Street?

I froze, didn't know what to say. I'm not good at blagging

Didn't get the job
Was Busker Browns in Galway

hardCopy

I turned up a day early to an interview once.

It was for a college work placement and the college had sent out the wrong dates.

I ended up chatting to one of the interviewers for 20 minutes while we waited for the director to finish something up and got the job.

BizzyC

Was once conducting phone interviews for an internship, had a few poor interviews.
Most were due to Chinese students with terrific looking CV's in perfect written English, but an inability to speak it, making phone interviews pretty difficult.

Worst one though was for an Irish guy who, when I rang at the scheduled time he had agreed, had to ask who my company was and why I was ringing him.
It also sounded like he was on the street getting on a bus at the time.

When I reminded him about the internship he had applied for and the interview we'd scheduled his response was "alright, go on then".
My first question was did he even know what my company did, when he said no I thanked him for his time and hung up the phone.

Never understood how someone could go through the trouble of applying for a job and writing a decent cover letter for it and then show such a disinterest in doing an interview....

MaxSteele

I've found a couple interviews pure cringe worthy.

Being sat down and told "I'm looking for the TOP 3 PERCENT of work driven and ambitious people in the irish work force. :rolleyes: Eh.... no you're not. You're a gob****e and even if that minority of workers existed, they wouldn't work for a muppet like you.

Of course it was one of those "marketing companies" on talbot street. Pure scam. Any job which pays only "commission" .... don't bother. Waste of time.


I find it hard to take an employer seriously with cliched questions like "where do you see yourself in 5 years ? ...... why do want and think you should have this job ?" ... Eh because I'm unemployed, need to earn a living and will only bull**** the ears off you with insincere waffle.

kjl

A few years back I was going for a programming role in this IT company. I didn't really want to work there as I was already very far down the line with another much bigger company with a much better salary, but this was a just in case job.The problem was that none of the technical execs knew the programming language C# so they sent me to this guy who was about my age. They guy had obviously never interview someone before because he was being a real dick.

Firstly he wouldn't just ask a question and wait for me to answer it, he kept handing out new questions before I had a chance to finish the last one. At one point the questions were getting incredibly specific asking me about particular hardware libraries which nobody would know unless you had the API (like a dictionary for programming) in front of you.

So after about 10 min I just stopped him and said "excuse me but have you ever interviewed someone before, because you are doing a really bad job". He got very huffy about this and asked me why I felt that way to which I replied that the questions he was asking me were just stupid and he is not even listening to the answers I was giving. I then questioned his knowledge on the subject and when his answers came up a little short I left saying "It's clear that you don't know anything about this".

Miraculously I was offered the job, probably because I had a good CV, great references and the rest of the interviews went very well. But I also was offered the better paying job in the big IT firm. So I rang them and told them that I would not be accepting the job and explained that I did not need to be harassed by some junior developer. I said that if this is the way you are going to treat your prospective candidates then it is not a company I would like to work for.

I heard recently that the company closed down.

shopaholic01

shopaholic01 wrote: »

Did he ever introduce you to his wife????

No.
He used to joke in the job that he wouldn't let me near his dog because of what i said.:o

jmayo

MaxSteele wrote: »

...
I find it hard to take an employer seriously with cliched questions like "where do you see yourself in 5 years ? ...... why do want and think you should have this job ?" ... Eh because I'm unemployed, need to earn a living and will only bull**** the ears off you with insincere waffle.

I went on a date once and the girl asked where did I see myself in 5 years.
It turned out she had worked in HR.
Needless to say I didn't get the gig, so to speak.

But the 5 years thing reminds me of a story heard about a guy, that had once interviewed me and then subsequently hired a friend.

The guy being interviewed was about 27 and was just finishing masters in college.
The primary interviewer, Mr A Hole, started on about how at 27 he was already 5 years in work, had reached a certain management position and was on well established career path, etc.

Mr A Hole then asked the interviewee where he saw himself in 5 years.
Interviewee answered...
"I don't know, but at least I won't be as big an ASSH*** as you."
Then he got up and left.
Mr A Hole was left kind dumb founded whilst his interviewing colleague tried to refrain from spliting his sides.

wilkie2006

MaxSteele wrote: »

I've found a couple interviews pure cringe worthy.

Being sat down and told "I'm looking for the TOP 3 PERCENT of work driven and ambitious people in the irish work force. :rolleyes: Eh.... no you're not. You're a gob****e and even if that minority of workers existed, they wouldn't work for a muppet like you.

Of course it was one of those "marketing companies" on talbot street. Pure scam. Any job which pays only "commission" .... don't bother. Waste of time.


I find it hard to take an employer seriously with cliched questions like "where do you see yourself in 5 years ? ...... why do want and think you should have this job ?" ... Eh because I'm unemployed, need to earn a living and will only bull**** the ears off you with insincere waffle.

Totally agree.
"Why do you want the job?"
"Because I need some fcuking money."

I'm sick of how employers try to impress upon you how important they are in their industry. I've had one say that to me recently and I thought, "No you're fcuking not. I've researched this industry extensively and your company isn't a blip on it. I'd be surprised if any of the genuinely big companies even saw you as a competitor."

Because the job market is so $hit, interviewers often expect you to fellate them (figuratively) and I think it's bo11ocks. If someone's CV is okay, they're not a freak or brain-dead, just give them a job. Most positions can be done by most people. University qualifications usually aren't even necessary. Someone put a thread up recently asking what era you'd like to live in. For me, it'd be Ireland forty years ago, when you just rocked up to an interview and got told you start on Monday in accounts - "and don't worry, sure we'll teach you how to count then."

1ZRed

mikemac1 wrote: »

Was a penniless student and looking for my first bar job

Hard to get a job with no experience so bla, bla, I spent a summer working in North London

On I know that area, do you Finchley High Street?

I froze, didn't know what to say. I'm not good at blagging

Didn't get the job
Was Busker Browns in Galway

The only time I was in busker browns was when I was at a 30th a few months back. I was there with two friends and we were the youngest by a solid 10 years we thought. We ended up going down stairs to the bar to get drunk but got caught in a cougar hen party. By the time we broke free I had a straw hula skirt on me and was covered in flower necklaces. Very noice I thought!

I did get with a 21 yo from "New York" - New jersey really:rolleyes. at the end of the night she told me I was a hot 23 yo? I got a bit offended considering I was only 17. Needless to say I took the piss out of her for being from new jersey and I staggered off. Looking back, man I was a fool to walk away from that..

Anyway point of the story is you were better off away from that place. Bad memories!:D

Dartz

Went to an interview there recently.

Forgot to turn my phone off.

Received phone call.

From Social Welfare, following up on a form I'd handed in a few days earlier showing evidence that I was actively looking for work and how I'd only put 4 entries on it. (Ones I had evidence for)


I didn't hear back from that company yet. But I do start a jobbridge on Monday.

wilkie2006

Dartz wrote: »

Went to an interview there recently.

Forgot to turn my phone off.

Received phone call.

From Social Welfare, following up on a form I'd handed in a few days earlier showing evidence that I was actively looking for work and how I'd only put 4 entries on it. (Ones I had evidence for)


I didn't hear back from that company yet. But I do start a jobbridge on Monday.

Did you answer the call in the interview?

tok9

Same thing happened to me in an interview. Felt like a complete idiot leaving the ringtone on. She said it was fine but I knew I might as well have left then.

I was a week early for an interview before! It was for college placement and they moved the dates. Went up to the careers guidance office in my suit after waiting a good 30 mins after the scheduled time. She just looked at me and held in the laughter.

Dan133269

Worst interview was the time I was late and couldn't find their offices.
I was interviewing in Dublin (not my home city) and left myself enough time to get to the interview location. I took a taxi from Heuston station, armed with the exact address I needed to go to. Unfortunately for me, the taxi driver, despite saying he knew where it was, didn't know where it was.

So we're driving around in circles, I have no idea where the place is, taxi driver has no sat. nav., his taxi driver friends on the phone don't know where it is (surprise surprise), randomers on the street have no idea where the place is, and I'm getting more agitated and no closer to the interview. Eventually, the interviewers ring me on my mobile as it was 5 minutes past the interview time. I explain that we can't find their offices and they say no problem, pass the phone to the taxi-driver and we'll tell him how to get here. I hand the driver the phone and he listens to their directions, then says "oh yeah I know exactly where you are now." All good, or so I thought.

He then drives me to a building and says to me "that's their offices there, on the 2nd floor the woman said". Cheeky bastard charged me the full fare on the meter even though we were driving around in circles for 15/20 minutes. Since I was already late for the interview, I didn't have time to argue and just gave the w@nker the money.

All good now, at least I had found it, or so I thought. Went into the building and it turned out it wasn't where I was looking for at all. I asked the people working there if they knew the place I was looking for, they said they never heard of it. Turns out, it was only a stone's throw away, but they didn't know it. So I left the building, absolutely helpless, can't find the address for love nor money, asked a few more people and no one knows where it is. Eventually the interviewer rang me and asked me where I was, I described the part of the business park I was in, and she says to me, ok stay there, I’ll come get you. The junior interviewer drove down and picked me up in her car! It was an absolutely scorcher that day, and between the heat, wearing a suit and running around like a headless chicken, by the time I sat down for the interview, I was literally soaked in sweat!

Needless to say, I didn’t get the job.

Afterwards I was told by the interviewers that almost everyone has difficulty finding their offices, and that I certainly wasn't the first.

Tym

@Dan
The interviewers sounds bril.

rgmmg

Dan133269 wrote: »

Worst interview was the time I was late and couldn't find their offices.
I was interviewing in Dublin (not my home city) and left myself enough time to get to the interview location. I took a taxi from Heuston station, armed with the exact address I needed to go to. Unfortunately for me, the taxi driver, despite saying he knew where it was, didn't know where it was.

So we're driving around in circles, I have no idea where the place is, taxi driver has no sat. nav., his taxi driver friends on the phone don't know where it is (surprise surprise), randomers on the street have no idea where the place is, and I'm getting more agitated and no closer to the interview. Eventually, the interviewers ring me on my mobile as it was 5 minutes past the interview time. I explain that we can't find their offices and they say no problem, pass the phone to the taxi-driver and we'll tell him how to get here. I hand the driver the phone and he listens to their directions, then says "oh yeah I know exactly where you are now." All good, or so I thought.

He then drives me to a building and says to me "that's their offices there, on the 2nd floor the woman said". Cheeky bastard charged me the full fare on the meter even though we were driving around in circles for 15/20 minutes. Since I was already late for the interview, I didn't have time to argue and just gave the w@nker the money.

All good now, at least I had found it, or so I thought. Went into the building and it turned out it wasn't where I was looking for at all. I asked the people working there if they knew the place I was looking for, they said they never heard of it. Turns out, it was only a stone's throw away, but they didn't know it. So I left the building, absolutely helpless, can't find the address for love nor money, asked a few more people and no one knows where it is. Eventually the interviewer rang me and asked me where I was, I described the part of the business park I was in, and she says to me, ok stay there, I’ll come get you. The junior interviewer drove down and picked me up in her car! It was an absolutely scorcher that day, and between the heat, wearing a suit and running around like a headless chicken, by the time I sat down for the interview, I was literally soaked in sweat!

Needless to say, I didn’t get the job.

Afterwards I was told by the interviewers that almost everyone has difficulty finding their offices, and that I certainly wasn't the first.

Hehe


It would be funny if the taxi driver was in on it and that that part of it was part of the interview process - seeing how you handle pressure etc. :pac:

Dan133269

rgmmg wrote: »

Hehe


It would be funny if the taxi driver was in on it and that that part of it was part of the interview process - seeing how you handle pressure etc. :pac:

Funnily enough that was one answer I gave, staying calm when dealing with a difficult person!

Dolbert

2.24

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJ6OHaXaF7U

dilallio

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FBAXWz-8arw

WoollyRedHat

Went to an interview once for a position in a hotel once, where there would be long hours and the guy on the other end, after asking me where I lived, then went on to request would I consider relocating to Dublin City Centre. I kinda looked at him, bizarrely and said no

Lister1

Was asked in an interview the "Where do you see yourself in X years time?" question and I responded with "Sitting in your chair" as my answer. Got the job and sure enough a couple of years later was carrying out my own interviews as I had been promoted to the manager position. For a long time I was proud of the answer I had given and hadnt seen it as being an issue but did find out on the grapevine years later that it had caused a long discussion amongst the interviewers and they had nearly passed me up because of it.

Jester252

Had an interview for a company that I got through the UL coop department for a company. I am studying science and I spent he night before remembering the company news about its science center. So I go into the interview and it goes well for around 5 minutes until they ask my what do I know about the company. So I told them what I learner the night before and this is when the interview went downhill because one of the interviewer turn and said she then asked me what do I know about about the business side and I just checked out.

Also the next interview I could not stop blinking

JoeA3

My team got a CV in from a guy who claimed to be "An Expert Java programmer". An Expert no less!

So we obviously couldn't wait to talk to this James Gosling protege.

We started asking him some basic out-of-the-box Java interview questions that any knob who was half arsed about it would have prepared for. He hadn't a scoobie doo :pac:

Dan133269

Dan133269 wrote: »

Worst interview was the time I was late and couldn't find their offices.
I was interviewing in Dublin (not my home city) and left myself enough time to get to the interview location. I took a taxi from Heuston station, armed with the exact address I needed to go to. Unfortunately for me, the taxi driver, despite saying he knew where it was, didn't know where it was.

So we're driving around in circles, I have no idea where the place is, taxi driver has no sat. nav., his taxi driver friends on the phone don't know where it is (surprise surprise), randomers on the street have no idea where the place is, and I'm getting more agitated and no closer to the interview. Eventually, the interviewers ring me on my mobile as it was 5 minutes past the interview time. I explain that we can't find their offices and they say no problem, pass the phone to the taxi-driver and we'll tell him how to get here. I hand the driver the phone and he listens to their directions, then says "oh yeah I know exactly where you are now." All good, or so I thought.

He then drives me to a building and says to me "that's their offices there, on the 2nd floor the woman said". Cheeky bastard charged me the full fare on the meter even though we were driving around in circles for 15/20 minutes. Since I was already late for the interview, I didn't have time to argue and just gave the w@nker the money.

All good now, at least I had found it, or so I thought. Went into the building and it turned out it wasn't where I was looking for at all. I asked the people working there if they knew the place I was looking for, they said they never heard of it. Turns out, it was only a stone's throw away, but they didn't know it. So I left the building, absolutely helpless, can't find the address for love nor money, asked a few more people and no one knows where it is. Eventually the interviewer rang me and asked me where I was, I described the part of the business park I was in, and she says to me, ok stay there, I’ll come get you. The junior interviewer drove down and picked me up in her car! It was an absolutely scorcher that day, and between the heat, wearing a suit and running around like a headless chicken, by the time I sat down for the interview, I was literally soaked in sweat!

Needless to say, I didn’t get the job.

Afterwards I was told by the interviewers that almost everyone has difficulty finding their offices, and that I certainly wasn't the first.

I had one like that a few years ago, except that I was driving and the interviewer was talking me in on the phone!

Turns out that the job was for a field engineer!

blingrhino

Dartz wrote: »

Went to an interview there recently.

Forgot to turn my phone off.

Received phone call.

From Social Welfare, following up on a form I'd handed in a few days earlier showing evidence that I was actively looking for work and how I'd only put 4 entries on it. (Ones I had evidence for)


I didn't hear back from that company yet. But I do start a jobbridge on Monday.

Oh holy lantern :eek:

Calamity79

It was raining on the day of my interview so I decided to get umbrella out of the boot of my car in the car park before heading in. As i opened boot to get umbrella, the boot door flew up into the air due to a gust of wind, striking me on the forehead. I got a right wallop but thought no more of it as I was already running tight for my interview time. Ran into venue and was brought straight into interview. During interview I felt wetness on forehead. Believing it to be sweat I casually wiped my forehead discretely whilst answering interview questions. It was only when I got back to car that I realised I had split my forehead open when boot came flying up and it wasn't sweat I was rubbing in but blood!! No wonder I was getting funny looks from the interviewers!!

cheesefiend

About two seconds after I left an interview I realised that the buttons on the dress I was wearing had popped open exposing my boobs.

Needless to say, I got the job.

Sky King

Went for one in Intel. Was absolutely dying of flu so I slept on it, making me late for the bus.

As I was sprinting down the street to the bus station through the rain, a mate on his moped saw me and stopped to help a brother out.

So in I went to the bus station on the back of this little 50cc chicken chaser moped, full suit and shirt, no helmet, tie flapping the wind and rain, hanging onto the back for dear life as we weaved through traffic. The seat was wet and I got soaked.

Got to the interview anyway. Still soaking and feeling worse. Probably looked like I was coming off smack. Answered all the questions in monosylabils and when asked if I had any questions of my own I said 'No,can I go now?'.

I went. Havent been back since. That was in '04.

pragmatic1

Took too many sleeping pills to get to sleep the night before an interview. Woke up like a zombie.

Knex*

I want an interview like this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zP0sqRMzkwo

The Big Red Button

I have a friend who was doing an interview with a Big Four accountancy firm. They asked her where she wanted to be in five years time. She replied "Married."

She didn't get the job.

My own worst ever was an interview I did in a clothes shop, the summer after first year in college.

As part of the interview, we were discussing the subjects I'd been studying as part of my course, and I'd discussed my results (which I had only just received that morning.)

As I was leaving, the conversation went as follows:
Manager: OK, thanks for coming in. You'll be celebrating tonight!!!
Me: What? You mean, I got the job?
Manager: Um ... I mean, you'll be celebrating your exam results ...

I still got the job, I think it was out of pity, but hey, a job's a job! :cool: :pac:

plein de force

i was in an interview and we were being interviewed in pairs and it was being done through french and the woman i was with misunderstood the question and answered about something else and wouldn't stop talking about something she hadn't been asked. pretty embarassing but worked in my favour

in another one i got a bit nervous and so couldn't think of a word i wanted and thought i said "ah fcuk it" in my head but i had said it out loud