Does age really matter ?

LegacyUser

Really really like this girl, but she is 16... I'm 21

I'm a pt and met her in my gym, I trained her for a couple of weeks, and went out with her twice.

I havn't mentioned it to any of my family and freinds, it's going to be a bit of an awxward sistution the fact that my little sister is 16.
So i'm a little scared of that, but I want to contuine to see the girl, I just don't want people seeing me as some werido and thinking that it's wrong.

The girl doesn't act or look her age, she's quite mature and we get all really really well.

Is it wrong or does age really matter ?

woodchuck

Normally I'd say that age doesn't matter... but personally I think in this situation it does If nothing else, isn't the legal age of consent 17!?

I just think the younger you are, the more it matters. There's a 5 year age gap between me and my OH, but we were both in our 20s when we started seeing each other.

_dublinlad_

In a word - Yes.

At that age it does. Dosent matter how old she looks or how mature she seems, she is still a kid. I guess it could be argued that if you just keep it in your pants for a year - then all is well.

If I was in your spot I wouldnt go there. I mean how could you introduce her to your family and friends? I would keep it very much on the down low... and I generally dont give a fcuk what people think of me.

Stench Blossoms

Look at it this way - Would you be happy if a 21 year old guy was going out with your 16 year old sister?

Isis20

I think that age does matter. Id say with a big age gap you're just in a different stage of your life. You have different wishes, one is propably more independent than the other. But I wouldnt necessary call this a big age gap. I like to keep 6 years of difference as a standard, but i dont see myself dating a 27 y o either...
Its up to you whether or not you consider this to be appropriate for now. The fact that you have to check here, tells me that you are not 100% ok with this.

Taltos

Something else to consider is your job.
You met her in work where you hold a position of authority.
I am unsure how your management view such relationships - but I think if a complaint were logged by her parents or someone else they might view this quite seriously.

I know it is nothing like the relationship a doctor has with a patient but many places do trade on reputations and your action here may call theirs into question.

Janey_Mac

I'm not going to say this is hands-down definitely an unworkable relationship.

I think her young age makes it more likely to be unworkable, however. It might be an idea to wait until she's finished school and see what kind of people you both are then. And then, people change a lot during the college years too. You should take this into account.

Also, I will absolutely second the people reminding you that she is below the age of consent.

Age doesn't matter as such but she is currently still a minor so if anything were to happen, even if fully consensual, then there could be certain legal implications.

ElleEm

I would usually say it doesn't matter, but in this case I think it does.
She is probably still in school- imagine meeting her on the road in her uniform! It just seems to me that she is too young... she's still a couple of years off Leaving Cert age!
You can't have sex as it's illegal, and if you brought her to a pub she couldn't drink and would have to leave after a certain time as she is a minor. She couldn't even have a glass of wine if you went for dinner!

MJ23

Jail Bait. You'll have the guards knocking on your door if you're not careful.

The Princess Bride

I actually feel sorry for you OP.
I have a 17 year old daughter and she isn't attracted to boys her own age -she finds them immature.I was the same when I was her age and always went out with older guys.
So I can see why she might be attracted to a 21 year old.

Having said that-this girl is even younger,and all it takes is one negative comment from someone and your job or reputation could go pear shaped.
Would you really like to have a relationship with someone where you have to keep everything a secret and not admit to family and friends that you are a couple?
The secrecy would do my head in,that's a given.

Not an easy decision to make-best of luck.

Esoteric_

I was attracted to older people when I was her age, but I never went out with them because I wasn't legal and wasn't in a place in life that fit theirs either, so I dated people my own age.

At the end of the day, she is a minor. She's a child. My little sister is nearly the same age, and I'm close to your age, and I see my sister as a kid who hasn't a clue about life (despite her being very mature). I just can't fathom being attracted to someone who is essentially a CHILD.

She's not legal, so I really don't think you should be dating her. Age doesn't matter very much when two consenting adults are dating, but she's only a kid.

Starokan

In this case the age gap is to much, at 16 she is basically still a kid while you at 21 are an adult, at 16 no matter how mature she is still not an adult.

Wait a while like 18 months - 2 years , remain friends and see what happens, if you both are meant for each other it will happen and the time will pass quickly enough

To be honest OP I'd see a five year age gap as being acceptable from the younger party being 19 or older. Even an 18 year old with a 23 year old I would think was a situation where both parties would have to be very careful, but to be below the age of consent is inappropriate and illegal (if you have sex).

She may seem confident, mature, and have grown-up-looking body parts, but she's a child, and you've no idea what might be going on in her mind. You're an older male in an authoritative role that you're confident in, and at her age that puts you in a position where it would be all too easy for you to be taking advantage and not realise it. If she's anything like just about every 16 year old girl I've ever known (including myself at that age), your position puts you in perfect crush territory, and you really shouldn't encourage it, never mind being caught up in it yourself. Even in college, my female friends and I are always finding ourselves attracted to demonstrators, but we're old enough to recognise that it doesn't actually mean anything.

16 year olds are mature, but not mature enough to go out with their 21 year old personal trainers.

StillWaters

I'm sorry, but I think this is creepy. This is a child before the age of consent.

You are an adult who met her in a work environment. This is all kinds of trouble.

a fat guy

I've seen this happen twice before and one of the relationship's is still going, but at the time they were quite weird...

Can't you just mess around with girls your own age for a while?

Killed By Death

I wouldn't continue this at all OP. 16 is below the age of consent so even if you two aren't sleeping together people will be suspicious. Another thing is, she says she is 16, but she could be even younger.

It's a very bad idea OP. Let this one pass.

HowItIs

1) Any kind of sexual relationship with this girl means you're automatically guilty of statutory rape.

2) Of course age isn't just a number. It's a number that reflects the life experience and associated maturity you can expect from a person.

With that in mind most people would consider a 16-year old to be a child, inexperienced and not ready to grapple with certain kinds of responsibility, like for example having a serious relationship with somebody who is 5 years their senior and therefore a legal adult.

Maybe your case is the exception, but probably not.

LegacyUser

Is it wrong or does age really matter ?

Does age matter? No it doesn't when the two parties are consenting adults
In this case however it does matter because you're an adult and she's a child

I just don't want people seeing me as some werido and thinking that it's wrong.

it is wrong OP. A) she's a 16 year old girl, I don't care how mature she seems, a 16 year old child is not mature enough for a relationship with a 21 year old man. I'd be quite worried personally for the mindset of a 21 year old who felt that a 16 year old was on par with them emotionally and mentally She's a minor/not legal

I'm a pt and met her in my gym, I trained her for a couple of weeks, and went out with her twice.

Again this is quite disturbing, (hate to say it OP but it honestly almost sounds quite predatory) approaching a 16 yr old in a gym and going out with her. I'm sure you would get into all kinds of trouble if you were ever caught having a relationship with an underage customer.

Do not see her again OP, especially if you value your reputation or your career.

MissFlitworth

Have to agree with everyone else, when the person is a minor then, yes age matters. Lots of 16 year olds are well able to carry themselves like they're older, doesn't mean that mentally they aren't basically kids.

MJ23

Give us an update please op

Taltos

MJ23 - banned for a week for breach of forum charter. These forums are not for amusement and we take all breaches of our charter very seriously, especially where posters have already received warnings and were asked to review the charters again before any further posts.

Do not ask for updates/to be kept updated - this prevents threads turning into blogs or soap operas for others amusement and avoids puting pressure on the original poster to return to the thread.

Thanks
Taltos

Skuxx

I have to agree with everyone else here unfortunatly!! At that age it is a big gap! I'm the same age as you OP, and personally, them still being in a school uniform is just weird for me, even if they were 18/19 and in 6th year, it still just seems weird!!
I have noticed it around town though, older lads going out with girls who are clearly alot younger than them! I know the girls find lads their own age immature so prefer older lads, but what do lads get out of going with a younger girl???

fungun

fails the half your age +7 rule for youngest feasible partner.
In a couple of years this would be ok (23/18) but 21/16 is too much.

Also if I was the 16 year old girls dad and she started going out with a 21 year old pt Id complain to the gym.

Madam_X

That isn't a "rule".

She could be very mature for her age, but you'll get grief for it, OP - you'll also encounter obstacles in terms of life stages. It's not the age gap at all.

StillWaters

I think you should step right back. This could be career destroying stuff. Even if your employer has no policy regarding staff/client relationships, they sure as hell have a child protection policy.

Under this, the 16 year old is treated no differently than an 11 year old. If a complaint is made and upheld you will never be allowed work with children and young people again here or abroad.

I'm not scaremongering OP.

Stavro Mueller

StillWaters wrote: »

I think you should step right back. This could be career destroying stuff. Even if your employer has no policy regarding staff/client relationships, they sure as hell have a child protection policy.

Under this, the 16 year old is treated no differently than an 11 year old. If a complaint is made and upheld you will never be allowed work with children and young people again here or abroad.

I'm not scaremongering OP.

That is a very good point. I've friends who train kids in different sports and know that there are a lot of regulations in place. Down to things like not being alone in a car with an underage kid or in a room with the door closed.
You might want to peruse this site http://www.dcya.gov.ie/viewdoc.asp?fn=%2Fdocuments%2FChild_Welfare_Protection%2Fchildfirst.htm

The bottom line on this is that this girl is still a minor. Her parents can still get child benefit for her. She cannot legally have sex. She's not old enough to vote. She might look older that her 16 years (a lot of girls her age do) and she might be super mature. You can't argue with the date on a birth cert though.

aoshea83

I read this forum regularly but never post, I felt compelled this time though!

I'm 29, my missus is nearly 39, 10 years difference and baby on the way, is age an issue, no, not for us at least. But I must agree with previous posts, she is still a child and as such you should still be careful and look at it from a mature perspective, you 'only' have 5 years extra perspective, but those 5 years involve a lot of life and emotional perspective.

What should you consider?

1. She is still a minor.
You should act morally and legally responsible and not leave yourself open to a case of 'illegal carnal knowledge of a minor', if she loves you, and you love her, this will not be an issue as you both could wait.

2. Consider her parents.
When you are blessed with a child all you want is their best interests, if my daughter was linked to a 21 yo when she is 16 I wouldn't be impressed, I would be livid and overprotective, the basic right of any parent imo.

3. Consider protecting yourself!
What if ye have a bad breakup? What if she makes a claim against you? These might not be issues now but what if? She is fully protected by the law regardless of her past behaviour leaving you totally responsible and accountable.

There is a lot of stigma associated with your relationship at the moment which means feck all in two years time when she is 18 and you are 23, this is ridiculous when you look at it that way and not an issue! but it doesn't change the fact of your present situation.

I would sum up by reiterating the previous posts main point, BE RESPONSIBLE, do NOT get sexually intimate with the girl yet, she is still a child, give it 2 years, if you are still together then feck the world!

skooterblue2

StillWaters wrote: »

I think you should step right back. This could be career destroying stuff. Even if your employer has no policy regarding staff/client relationships, they sure as hell have a child protection policy.

Under this, the 16 year old is treated no differently than an 11 year old. If a complaint is made and upheld you will never be allowed work with children and young people again here or abroad.

What is the worst case scenario here? Her parents complain and you get a rap for Statutory rape? The real deal is you get put on the Sex offenders register. The Sex offenders register doesn't discriminate between a girl who is a few weeks off 16 or 17 and a serial pedophile. Think of it as on your criminal record on every job you apply for. This thing will haunt you for year afterward.

The smart thing to do would be to put a little space between you and this girl. You dont need this drama in your life right now

BunShopVoyeur

It's illegal for a start.

Honey-ec

BunShopVoyeur wrote: »

It's illegal for a start.

No it's not. A sexual relationship would be illegal. There's absolutely nothing stopping them starting an everything-but relationship.

OP, I'm going to be the sole dissenting voice on this thread. First of all, I don't see 16 as a "child". She's a minor, not a child. Only you know for sure whether or not she's mature enough to make a relationship worth trying.

When I was 16 I was going out with a 22 year old. We went out for almost three years in total. My parents weren't particularly happy initially but they knew I had a sensible head on my shoulders and they accepted that I knew what I was doing.

The only thing I'd be wary of in your case is whether or not starting a relationship with this girl is going to get you into trouble in work. Obviously, that's only an issue if she's still a member of your gym.

Best of luck, whatever you decide to do.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the replies.

So to answer my question a lot of people do think it is wrong.

Putting age aside, unfortunately I can't controll my feelings or how I feel about a person, While I know in my head that the age is an issuie , I also really like this girl.
I really don't see the girl as a child, in my eyes - Yes she is young but to me you are no longer a child when you reach your teens.

I think the whole sex thing is a private matter, I'd rather not share or dicuss that matter, but I'm fully aware that the legal age of consent is 17.

My job is the least of my worries, tbh I really don't see how it is any of their business.


Thanks

BunShopVoyeur

Honey-ec wrote: »

No it's not. A sexual relationship would be illegal. There's absolutely nothing stopping them starting an everything-but relationship.

Everything but what?

tawnyowl

wronnnngg wrote: »

Does age matter? No it doesn't when the two parties are consenting adults
In this case however it does matter because you're an adult and she's a child

it is wrong OP. A) she's a 16 year old girl, I don't care how mature she seems, a 16 year old child is not mature enough for a relationship with a 21 year old man. I'd be quite worried personally for the mindset of a 21 year old who felt that a 16 year old was on par with them emotionally and mentally She's a minor/not legal

All excellent reasons.

Again this is quite disturbing, (hate to say it OP but it honestly almost sounds quite predatory) approaching a 16 yr old in a gym and going out with her. I'm sure you would get into all kinds of trouble if you were ever caught having a relationship with an underage customer.

Another excellent reason - in fact, the OPs employers may not be too happy even if the OP was talking of someone his own age.

dgt

My advice is not to rush into anything. Get to know her first.

When I was 20, I unknowingly met a 16 yo in a nightclub. I was mortified, but that's just me.

Apart from the legal aspect of sexual consent, it's your decision and do what you feel is best for both of you.

MissFlitworth

Ophereagain wrote: »

My job is the least of my worries, tbh I really don't see how it is any of their business.

You are a personal trainer, in a position of trust with the young people who use their gym & you're picking up minors there. I'd be very surprised if they didn't see it as their business when it comes to light.

Ophereagain

Ophereagain wrote: »

Thanks for the replies.

So to answer my question a lot of people do think it is wrong.

Putting age aside, unfortunately I can't controll my feelings or how I feel about a person, While I know in my head that the age is an issuie , I also really like this girl.
I really don't see the girl as a child, in my eyes - Yes she is young but to me you are no longer a child when you reach your teens.

I think the whole sex thing is a private matter, I'd rather not share or dicuss that matter, but I'm fully aware that the legal age of consent is 17.

My job is the least of my worries, tbh I really don't see how it is any of their business.


Thanks

OP judging from this post, you came here for validation, not advice, and now that you know you're not being supported by us in being with this girl, you're going to ignore what we've said. I'm only replying because to be honest you sound a little immature yourself and I'm not sure you're really getting what we're saying here. I'm sorry to be harsh.

You're right though, she would be more accurately described as a teenager than a child. But she's still at an age where she has no responsibilities. She can't even legally drink. She hasn't even had to stress about the leaving cert yet. You're a man. You say you can't control your feelings, but you have a responsibility to.

You say you really like this girl, but that's what everyone says when they're doing something they know is wrong. Cheating on your boyfriend? "But I really like this new guy". Lying to someone about who you are? "But I really like her". Coming onto your friend's boyfriend? "But I really like him". I can't tell you how many times I've heard that line. Really liking someone doesn't excuse taking advantage of them.

If she's so special and you like her so much, wait until she's legal to do anything with her, and by that I don't mean sex. I mean so much as a movie date. If she's worth it, wait.

Honey-ec

BunShopVoyeur wrote: »

Everything but what?

Everything but sex, obviously.

BunShopVoyeur

Honey-ec wrote: »

BunShopVoyeur wrote: »

Everything but what?

Everything but sex, obviously.

Sexual acts (not just intercourse) with a minor are still a no go. Obviously.

AhInFairness

Honey-ec wrote: »

Everything but sex, obviously.

And what exactly do you mean by "everything"?

Defilement of a child aged under 17 years

Section 3 of the Criminal Law (Sex Offences) Act 2006 (pdf) as amended by Section 5 of the Criminal Law (Sexual Offences) (Amendment) Act 2007 (pdf) makes it a criminal offence to engage or attempt to engage in a sexual act with a child under 17 years. The maximum sentence is five years, ten years if the accused is a person in authority. A person in authority means:

• A parent, step-parent, guardian, grandparent, uncle or aunt of the victim, or
• any person acting in loco parentis (in place of parent or parents) to the victim, or
• any person responsible for the education, supervision or welfare of the victim.

The maximum sentence is greater for a second or subsequent offence.
The accused may argue that he or she honestly believed that the child was aged 17 years or over. The court must then consider whether or not that belief was reasonable. It is not a defence to show that the child consented to the sexual act.


The consent of the Director of Public Prosecutions is required for any prosecution of a child under the age of 17 years for this offence. A person who is convicted of this offence and is not more than two years older than the victim is not subject to the requirements of the Sex Offenders Act 2001. This means they will not have their name placed on the Sex Offenders Register.

If you're going to give someone advice on this matter Honey-ec, it might help to actually have an idea of the law surrounding the issue.

Ophereagain wrote: »

Putting age aside, unfortunately I can't controll my feelings or how I feel about a person, While I know in my head that the age is an issuie , I also really like this girl.

You can't control your feelings but you can control your actions.

Ophereagain wrote: »

I really don't see the girl as a child, in my eyes - Yes she is young but to me you are no longer a child when you reach your teens.

What she is in your eyes is irrelevant OP. In the eyes of the law she is a minor. She can't legally consent to having any sort of sexual relationship with you.

Ophereagain wrote: »

I think the whole sex thing is a private matter, I'd rather not share or dicuss that matter, but I'm fully aware that the legal age of consent is 17.

You might think it's a private matter but you need to be under no illusions as to the repercussions involved in engaging in a sexual relationship with this minor. It doesn't matter if you both think you're madly in love and want to be together forever. If you go down this road before she is legal it is you that will suffer the consequences.

Ophereagain wrote: »

My job is the least of my worries, tbh I really don't see how it is any of their business.

It is absolutely their business. You met this girl while you were working. You got romantically involved with a minor while in their employment. She is under the age of consent and if her parents find out and decide they have an issue with it, chances are one of the first places they'll go is your place of work. Your employers won't take such conduct lightly. If you were convicted and placed on the sex offenders register this will have an major impact on future employment.

Employment of Sex Offenders

It is an offence in Ireland for a sex offender to apply for work or to perform a service (including state work or service) which involves having unsupervised access to, or contact with, children or mentally impaired people without telling the prospective employer or contractor that he/she is a sex offender. State work or service includes work done by civil servants, Gardai, Defence Forces, local authority and HSE staff.

LegacyUser

The things that strikes me here is that you are at the age where most people would be finishing college and she's still at the age where she hasn't even started studying for her leaving cert.

I was 22 when I ended up snogging a girl at a party. She told me she was 18 - turned out she was 16. Couldn't believe that she has lied to me - I got a lot of grief from others at the party.

Those 2 years make all the difference. At 16 she's a teenager - at 18 she's an older teenager.

Rocket19

I'm the OP's age, and I think it's totally wrong. If one of my guy mates got with a 16 year old, I'd think he was a complete creep! She's in, what? Transition year? Get a grip, OP.

The girl is probably delighted with herself (because you're older), but you're supposed to be the grown-up one here. Sure she may look 21, and she probably plays it cool in front of you, but she's NOT 21. Heck, my 13 year old sister can pass for much older when she dresses up, is she fair game?
It might only be two years 'til she's 18, but the difference between 16 and 18 is massive. A hell of a lot of growing up is done in that time.

On another note, what are you going to do with her? What do you have in common? Unless she's a total rarity, her social life revolves around house parties with other teenagers, the cinema, and drinking vodka in the park. It's not like you can bring her out with you. I also find it hard to believe you won't get a lot of stick over this. Not only from your friends, but from your family AND her family. Doesn't matter if she's mature, she's a school-child, and you should think about that.

nadey

in some cases age does matter really does depend on the age difference

i was actually 16 when i met my boyfriend he was also 21 at the time and 5and a half years later we are living together and very happy i say go for it

who cares what other people think we certainly didn't and here we are today still together and going strong

skooterblue2

nadey wrote: »

in some cases age does matter really does depend on the age difference

who cares what other people think we certainly didn't and here we are today still together and going strong

The reality is that this girl is probably from a middle class background and her parents probably do care and the OP could be heading for a conflict with the law of the land. The results of which could be very potentially life changing and not in a good way! The long term fallout could be fairly serious.

For me marrying/employing/dealing with an individual with a criminal record and/or on the sexual offenders list is a deal breaker IMHO.

Stavro Mueller

Indeed. While others can come on here and post about how they went out with lads when they were older, your situation isn't quite the same. She's a member of your gym and you've a professional responsibility to behave appropriately. You are certainly not doing that.

It's an extreme example but you should google the allegations against the journalist Tom Humphries and ask yourself just how much your story differs? Grown man, sports coach, underage teenage girl...The ages are different, yes, but the point still stands.
Messing with underage teenage girls is trouble.


You better hope for your sake that her parents don't kick up an unholy fuss over this. You could lose your job and your professional reputation could be tarnished.

Honey-ec

dubbbbe wrote: »

she's still at the age where she hasn't even started studying for her leaving cert.

Rocket19 wrote: »

I'm the OP's age, and I think it's totally wrong. If one of my guy mates got with a 16 year old, I'd think he was a complete creep! She's in, what? Transition year?

Eh? I was in 6th year at 16.

AhInFairness wrote: »

And what exactly do you mean by "everything"?


If you're going to give someone advice on this matter Honey-ec, it might help to actually have an idea of the law surrounding the issue..

By "everything" I mean a non-sexual relationship. Is that really such a difficult concept to grasp?

skooterblue2

Its very easy for a girl to say sure its fine, why cant society just leave us do what we want, I was doing all that at my age.

It not the girl who society and possibly a man in a wig will judge. Its not the girl who is going to get a state sponsored holiday in Wheatfield for 6 months. Its not the girl who is going to be told "I think this was a great interview, as soon as I get the Garda vetting form back you can start in 6 weeks".

In a court case the girl anonymity gets protected because she is a minor, he gets labeled a sex offender. I am not saying that it is wrong but for a bit of fun the OP may have to bare a hefty burden.

As for a non sexual relationship how would the OP feel explaining it to a court room. Oh where hormones take over and what happens afterwards .... I heard that one before.
There are plenty of other girls out there. Remember the Titanic didnt sink just because it hit an iceberg there were a whole range of factors that led up to it. You are tripping a whole lot of little switches that could land you very suddenly in a situation that is out of control.

Be friendly, Dont socialise outside of work hours and put a bit of distance in there between you. Remember hell hath no fury like a womans scorn or a fathers love.

LegacyUser

dubbbbe wrote: »

The things that strikes me here is that you are at the age where most people would be finishing college and she's still at the age where she hasn't even started studying for her leaving cert.

The OP hasn't said what stage of her education she is at. I did my leaving at 16 and I was still 16 when I started college [granted for all of two weeks] and there was actually a girl younger then me on the course. There are legal issues yes but everyone is jumping to sex, people can date for a while before engaging in anything sexual but then the OP has to consider what dating this girl would mean socially. Your options for dates would be limited and while you might not see the age gap as an issue when it's just the two of you what about when your out with others? How comfortable would you feel OP spending time with her friends and vice versa?

I know you don't think it's an issue OP but your job would be my bigger red card then the age gap. Your in a position of authority towards her and that can cause confused/misplaced feelings for both parties.

ash23

There is 8 years between me and my current partner. But I'm nearly 30 and he's 38 so it's no biggie.

But jeeze OP!! 16!!!
My neice is 16 and she looks all grown up but I can tell you this for nothing, she still acts like a child most of the time.


You are on serious thin ice here. You are risking your job, you are putting yourself at risk of a criminal record which will follow you the rest of your days.

And also, you say you care about this girl. If you did, you would do what is best for her. And at 16, having a 21 year old boyfriend is NOT in her best interest. She should be enjoying her school days and not getting caught up in the issues that would go hand in hand with dating you. She should not have to keep secrets from her parents and be involved in anything that will put her in a position of being taken advantage of.

Stop trying to justify what you are doing. It's wrong, legally and morally. If you care so much about her, give her time to grow up, finish school and then ask her out.

If my 16 yr old daughter was attending a gym and a PT who was an adult asked her out I would be on to that gym like I was on fire. You are young too and you might not realise the seriousness of what you are doing. But I cannot stress how wrong this is for this girl.

woodchuck

OP, even if the two of you don't have sex or engage in any sexual activity, all it might take is an ACCUSATION to ruin your career/reputation. And you can be damn sure that any father who gets wind of their 16 year old daughter going out with someone older will immediately jump to the conclusion that you're taking advantage of her. When he finds out you met in your place of work that will be one of the first places he'll get onto. And it is absolutely their business if you're dating a client (it would be their business even if she wasn't underage).

nadey

skooterblue2 wrote: »

The reality is that this girl is probably from a middle class background and her parents probably do care and the OP could be heading for a conflict with the law of the land. The results of which could be very potentially life changing and not in a good way! The long term fallout could be fairly serious.

For me marrying/employing/dealing with an individual with a criminal record and/or on the sexual offenders list is a deal breaker IMHO.

its only if their sexual it is and as long as he treats her right and their happy thats all that matters as i said that the same age my boyfriend met me and we are still together now